Sunday: Sweeties

Courtesy of UpstateNY and LavenderLiberal.com, we present this handy pocket guide to Obamaniac behavior:

We believe they are oscillating between the blue and green sections right now. The thing is, many of us *aren’t* Democrats anymore, or should I say, Dean Democrats. We’re unaffiliated with the Dean Democratic party. But come Tuesday, they will be hard pressed to not jump to the yellow and red zones, which will undoubtably drive more of us to declare ourselves free of the childish Dean Democrats. Keep it up and the pie chart will shrink to approximately the size of a pinhead.

We expect to see more “Sweeties” drop in on us in the next several days. A Sweetie is a Rent-a-Troll (abbreviated R.A.T.) whose job it is to lay on some syrupy guilt trip to make us feel like we’re letting the party, the country and the starving children in Africa down because we don’t support the Unity Pony and will register our disgust with him and the party in November if he becomes the nominee. As myiq2xu said recently, “You know your blog has made it when you are assigned your own troll.” The Sweetie has been carefully prepped with psychological trigger words that have been focussed grouped to elicit the correct behavioral response from the newly emancipated “unaffiliated” voter.

Here is an example from “cate”, who is helping out the Obama campaign from, well, never mind, we will protect her multiple anonymities (for now. BTW, “cate”, how’s the weather out there on the Frontier? Sunny? Warm? Dry? This is quite a History making year for Women, wouldn’t you say, “Cate”? Maybe we’re not as stoopid asu presume, eh?):

I am sitting at my computer smiling; this reminds me of why I love being a woman. Even when I’m gettin’ blasted.
Bea, I’m not making an argument for Obama, really. I am asking why there is a commitment brewing to destroying an Obama candidacy, and ensuring a McCain victory. Is it that McCain is a better choice? It seems terribly selfish to bring down a Democratic nominee just as revenge.
Melanie, I know JOhn Edwards is no HillaryClinton, but you’re supposed to be making a fairness argument here, not a “my candidate is better” argument. Isn’t that where your moral high ground comes from? (smile)
Riverdaughter, you just rock. But old women have always cared about young women, and so do you (we). As for unaffiliated voters, let’s try presenting McCain’s history and present with lobbyists, his extraordinary temper, his admission that he doesn’t know anything about the economy….

Let’s take a look at “cate’s” technique because this is a perfect example of the Sweetie message. First, she identifies herself as a woman. This is very much in the style of push-pull power dynamics (Hey, Axelrod, you must think we’re really stupid if you think some of us haven’t been through these courses at work). Instead of pushing against your target, you stand next to them and appear to see the world in the same way they do. “cate” assumes we are women. Well, some of us are but there are quite a few of us who are men. But even the women among us are not typical women or we wouldn’t be posting here. For example, I work in a heavily male dominated field with a lot of international colleagues. I have been trained to not think in gender related terms so my mindset is both feminine and masculine. Never the less, “cate” is trying to stand next to me and “be on my side”.

Next, “cate” moves into the Saruman phase. “cate” knows that it is impossible to reason with an emotional target. She will save the rational push for the end of her comment. Right now, she wants to pull with some emotional content. But she doesn’t quite do it right. She identifies the emotion as revenge. The correct emotion is frustration. Because she thinks we are fiendishly conspiring to topple the Obama candidacy it comes off as push. She is labelling us as malicious conspirators. She also assumes, incorrectly, that we will all be voting for McCain. As I’ve said before, friends don’t let friends vote Republican.

But the biggest mistake she makes here is conditioning us to accept the Obama nomination as an inevitability. This is a huge mistake on “cate’s” part. Because there is nothing so damaging to a push as the idea that the target feels they have no choice. (go back and read the chapter on asserting. You must present the target with an option) Here, “cate” is promoting the idea that the only choice is between Obama and McCain. This is wrong. The nomination has not been determined yet and won’t be until the balloons drop in Denver. This is something “cate” should keep in mind. It’s a long time between now and August and delegates, both pledged and super, are free to change sides several times between now and then. Many of them may start to have buyer’s remorse. Depending on how Obama handles himself on May 20, these delegates may find many very angry constituents carrying pitchforks and torches banging on their doors late at night demanding satisfaction. Be afraid, “cate”, be very afraid. It’s going to be a long four months. If Obama reaches a pinnacle, there is only one way for him to go and nothing is certain. Bwahahahahahahaaaaa!

But “cate” is not finished. Now, she resumes her Saruman phase. We as women wouldn’t want to be selfish. Oooo, this is insidious. Tap into cultural norms, “cate”? Women are taught to be selfless. We sacrifice for others. We make our needs subordinate to our families and our male counterparts. It is in our natures to gracefully acquiesce. We are expected to be fair.

F^*) that s%$*. Listen, “cate” and all you other sweeties, we’re not just women. We’re working class (yes, I consider myself working class even though “cate” couldn’t even understand what I do if I took a whole day to explain it to her), we’re GLBT, we’re old, we’re young, we’re rich and poor, hispanic, asian. We’re Heinz 57. But the thing that sets us apart from the Obamaniacs is that we’re cold-blooded pragmatists. We are grounded. We’re not buying the hopey-changey unity shtick. We know that Obama is a smart man with a ruthless campaign manager but he is about as ready to run the country as I am to command the USS Nimitz. We don’t have any patience for your assumptions.

Here’s the thing you Sweeties should understand and get through your thick skulls: Hillary Clinton is still in this race. She will be in this race after the Presumptuous Nominee makes his little acceptance speech on Tuesday (BTW, I *highly* recommend that he not do this for his own sake. Bad things happen to tragic heroes who celebrate too early. They usually live to regret it.). We still have a choice. It’s Hillary or no one for us. There is no compromise between the highly competent Hillary Clinton and the highly unready Barack Obama. We don’t care if she doesn’t have a dime by August. We are not giving in. And if the balloons drop in Denver and she is not at the top of the ticket, YOU will be to blame if the Unity Pony flames in November. We are not obliged to enable you in your pursuit of some transfiguring fantasy.

We all have choices.