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Breaking: Obama wins in Guam by smaller margin than he lost in FL!

Obama pulls off a huge victory in Guam less than two weeks after his humiliating defeat in Pennsylvania. However, the result will not be certified until the Democratic Party of Guam can conduct a recount of the ballots, including some 500 spoiled ballots in Dededo. The recount will be overseen at least by Obama’s campaign and Clinton’s as well, providing her representatives aren’t diverted to Midway for a tour of the atoll.

Confluence Senior US Territory Election Analyst, RonkSeattle says, “This long, drawn-out counting process can’t be good for the Party. They should both just give up their Guam delegates.”

Obama’s margin of victory in Guam was 7 votes out of an estimated 4000 participants at the caucuses. He lost in Florida by 17 points in a turnout of 1.7 million voters at a primary. For comparison, the 17 points represent more people in Florida than all of the inhabitants of Guam. (Population of Guam is 173,456)

Once certified, Guam’s half delegates and full superdelgates will be seated at the DNC convention in Denver and will have the honor of casting their votes for the their nominee while Florida’s delegation will be told to take an old, cold tater and wait.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

Guam? We’re stressing over GUAM?!

Here’s what I know about Guam: It’s a tiny rock in the middle of nowhere near the Mariana trench, It was the island where the Enola Gay was refitted for Little Boy’s fly over Hiroshima, it has a problem with brown tree snakes and when my dad was temporarily stationed there during the Vietnam war, he said is was less smelly than Subic Bay in the Phillipines but really boring. When I lived in Hawaii as a kid and one of the other Navy brat’s parents got stationed there or Midway, we thought it was a frickin’ death sentence, like being shipped to Siberia.

And here we are, dozens of bloggers and media outfits, all breathlessly awaiting word from 3000 voters half a world away. Oh, don’t get me wrong. They’re voters and their votes are valuable. But is it going to change the direction of the race? Can a butterfly that small create waves back on the mainland? Call me skeptical. Unless Obama does far worse there than everyone thought, in which case we will be covering it relentlessly until Tuesday. 😉

Here’s a round up of Guam(?) posts:

Obama leading Guam caucuses
: Todd Beeton keeps score. Apparently, it’s come down to one township. Whoop-de-doo!

At TalkLeft, Big Tent Democrat is covering the throngs */snort* at the Guam Caucuses with not one but FIVE updates. According to BTD, Hillary had better informational material in Guam than Obama did. Let’s hope he didn’t spend too much time dweling on their concerns over the Great Lakes for this one.

CNN Political Ticker has someone on the scene taking the hardship assignment. Their understated title, Showdown in Dededo says it all.

The New York Times is also reporting regularly in The Early Word: Guam, Which Counts, Is Counting
There is a HUGE turnout in Guam. By Golly, people are pushing and shoving to get to the caucuses. Well, you just have to read it for yourself:

Officials noted unusually high turnout, continuing the trend apparent throughout the primary season among locals unaccustomed to having a say in the primaries. Normally, the Pacific Daily News reports, about 1,000 people cast ballots in the caucuses, but about four times that were expected to show up.

Damn! If only Florida or Michigan could have turned out as many dedicated and interested citizens who took their voting reponsibilities as seriously. Maybe they *too* could have had votes that counted.

Saturday: “I want to be seduced”

If you are an armchair election jockey living in Indiana or North Carolina or a surrounding state, you should know that the best way to snag a voter for Hillary is to canvass. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, canvassing is going door to door in a neighborhood, sort of like a Jehovah’s Witness except that most voters actually *want* to see you. Yeah, as long as you don’t ask them if they want a Watchtower they’ll open their doors, come out on the front stoop and engage you in conversation.

See, they have something that you want. They are just holding it out in front of you and saying, “What’s it worth to you?” They want to be seduced. Their vote is very valuable and they know it. It gives them a heady sense of power to see you groveling before them saying. “Baby, Baby, Baby, don’t be like that”. Lucky for us that Hillary has some sweet nothings to whisper into their ears about universal healthcare, getting us out of Iraq, reducing our dependence on foreign oil, the new green economy, strengthening scientific research, etc, etc, etc.

Then there’s her confidence, experience, long list of accomplishments as first lady and senator, her knowledge base, her intelligence, her “testicular fortitude”. Damn!, She’s hot. Even the Obama supporters check her out.

And it’s really not hard. I prefer canvassing to phone sex, er, phone calls. There’s much less chance for rejection. This election year is high stakes so people want to engage in conversation and they’ll interrupt whatever they’re doing to take your literature and talk. Besides, it gives you an opportunity to meet people face to face and show them what kind of people support her. We’re anything but old, stupid or bitter. The fresh air will brighten your skin, the exercise brings a rosy glow to the cheeks, the excitement makes the eyes glisten. Oh, yeah, before long, you’ll have them eating out of your hand. Put another notch on your tally sheet.

Here’s how to hslp GOTV (Get Out The Vote) this weekend:
In Indiana, check out this page.
In North Carolina, go here and sign up.

Make History!
In other news:
Pacific John at MyDD details some possibly fraudulent shenanigans that happened during the Texas caucuses. I know, you’re shocked. Hey, if you’re going to run a caucus, at least have some rules that everyone has to follow and referees you can call to mediate disputes on the spot. Or, better yet, just get rid of the damn things. They sound chaotic and vulnerable to abuse and manipulation.

Here’s a bit of fluff on the interview that Hillary gave People. Yeah, I didn’t know what a Red Bull was until last year either.

Gov. Mike Easley campaigned with Clinton in the hills of North Carolina. The BFF and I hiked in the Panthertown Valley region of North Carolina several years ago and it was beautiful On the mountaintops there are fields of dainty little wildflowers and multicolored mushrooms, and waterfalls to stand under after hours of climbing under a heavy backpack.Schoolhouse Falls But, ok, the wolves howling at night while we slept in a little tent miles away from civilization? Spooky. Still, it’s very beautiful.

The Clinton Campaign — it never stops

I’ve been poking around Google News looking for non-AP news and I found this charming story from something called Bloomberg.com:

Bill Clinton unleashed: When the former president and his Secret Service detail stopped for the night at the Valley River Inn in Eugene, Oregon, he found himself amid about 500 whippet fanciers and their dogs.

Rather than head to his room, Clinton held an impromptu two- hour town hall-style meeting. He petted the dogs and mugged for photos with canines and owners in town for the American Whippet Club‘s 22nd National Specialty Show.

“He just talked to us and talked to us and talked to us, and he was reluctant to leave,” said whippet owner Karen Lee, 46, of Lincoln University, Pennsylvania. Clinton finally headed upstairs at about 1 a.m.

So, the President is doing 7 or more events in a day. Then he gets to his hotel and instead of collapsing in an exhausted heap — he spends two hours talking policy and dogs with the hotel guests.

Have you ever heard of a campaign like this? They’re thriving on people, ideas and activity.

Let’s use this thread to share positive and fun campaign stories.