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Undisclosed Location. 

I’m recreating this weekend. I need relaxation and no stress. Cell service is non-existent. Had to pick up some groceries so I have access to wifi briefly. Going back into the woods shortly.  Lamb tonight. 

Tonight is Beltane Eve. It starts at sundown. Light a new fire. The rules don’t say you can’t use butane. 

May your May Queen find her Green Man. 


Florida Correspondent Biff

The entire US Senate was flown today to Mar-a-Lago, the “White House South” in Palm Beach, Florida, for a presentation by Secretary of State Rex “King” Tillerson and Defense Secretary James “Mad Dog” Mattis about the growing dangers of North Korea and it’s belligerent leader, Kim Jong-Un.

Republican senators travelled on Airforce One, while Democrats were ferried via the President’s personal Trump Force One jet. Steve Bannon and Jared Kushner remained in Washington to direct the “alternative White House”.

While meetings of the senior cabinet and the entire senate are rarely hosted at the White House, Chief of Staff Reince Priebus said, “It’s really hard to book a conference room in this town. It seems like Jared or Ivanka have them permanently filled. This was the only place we could find a SCIF.” 

A SCIF, or Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility, is a clean room that has been dusted for bugs and wiped free of viruses and germs. 

“This is the first time I remember anything like this. In my congressional career there’s never been a similar type of a meeting held at the White House that I’m aware of,” said Sen. Ben Cardin (D-MD). “And they served the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you’ve ever seen,” he said, complementing the gracious hospitality always provided by the Trump Organization.

In addition to the introduction by the President and the main presentations, Chairman of the JCS Joseph Dunford and DNI Dan Coats also briefed the senators. The presentations, said one of the Republican attendees, were mostly “at the 30,000 foot level, short on the specifics. Because we really don’t want to give away our plans. I mean, why would you tell the enemy that, right?” It was unclear whether the senator was referring to the North Koreans or the Democratic senators in attendance. 

“I didn’t hear anything new,” said Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee. “It’s good to get everyone together! I can’t wait to get back and vacation here!” added Senate Foreign Relations Committee chairman Bob Corker (R-TN).

“I really enjoyed seeing The Interview on the flight back,” said one of the Democratic attendees. “Seth Rogan is such a funny guy. Maybe he will run after Franken retires. ”
— Biff

Looking Into The Future

“Racism, xenophobia and unfair discrimination have spawned slavery, when human beings have bought and sold and owned and branded fellow human beings as if they were so many beasts of burden.”
–Desmond Tutu

John Oliver unpacks Ivanka and Jared Kushner.

I remember when we used to force “family businesses” out of countries for the benefit of their citizens. Do Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos ring a bell? How about Baby Doc and Michelle Duvalier?

just sayin’.

Go outside, BiFF

You can binge on Game of Thrones tonight. 

It’s nice out there. I’m headed to Highland Park reservoir to work on my blonde. 

I’ll mulch later…

Papa Bear on his way out? 

New York Magazine says Bill O’Reilly is being pushed out at Fox:

Sources briefed on the discussions say O’Reilly’s exit negotiations are moving quickly. Right now, a key issue on the table is whether he would be allowed to say good-bye to his audience, perhaps the most loyal in all of cable (O’Reilly’s ratings have ticked up during the sexual-harassment allegations). Fox executives are leaning against allowing him to have a sign-off, sources say. The other main issue on the table is money. O’Reilly recently signed a new multiyear contract worth more than $20 million per year. When Roger Ailes left Fox News last summer, the Murdochs paid out $40 million, the remainder of his contract.

I know, you’re probably all torn up about it. 

A couple of names have been floated as his replacement, like Dana Perino and Tucker Carlson. I don’t think either one of them is going to work. 

Billo’s thing was he was a Harvard educated (source of authority), older guy with sex appeal. Yeah, I don’t get it either but that’s what I heard from some long time fans. Also, he is a “godly man” according to someone I used to work with. 

You know, you need to remember to breathe during a laughing fit. 

Anyway, Tucker doesn’t exactly rock the bow tie and Dana lacks a penis, I think. 

But don’t worry, Fox probably has another obnoxious, lying blowhard on the bench. Wait and see. It can always get worse. 

What fresh Hell?

Read this piece (of work) from Chris Cilizza at CNN if you can stomach it. He interviews two guys (they’re ALWAYS guys) who place the blame on Hillary for the fact that we got Trump and nothing but hard ass Republicans for as far as the eye can see. 

Let’s break it down point by point, shall we?  

1.) The data analytics were off. Yes!  They were!  Nate Silver at 538 said in about August that there was a lot of volatility in the model. For whatever reason, the model was not behaving as expected. He started to push the panic button just about the time the Comey letter came out. Put that together with the volatility and that suggests that any flap of a butterfly wing somewhere in Venezuela was going to have an outsized effect on the polls. 

Yes, the MEDIA expected her to win. That’s why they carelessly kept dumping on her. Journalists, like many Americans, can not interpret data. They need to learn so this doesn’t happen again. But, hey, it was so much fun to beat her up, amirite?  

2.) Her campaign was in disarray. I saw no evidence of that as a volunteer, even though I think it underestimated the technical capabilities of its campaign volunteer staff and relied too heavily on paper. 

But the authors seem to have this idea that the chaos in Clinton’s campaign was worse than in Trump’s campaign. I don’t know where they’re pulling this information. After all, Trump recast his Campaign manager THREE TIMES during the summer.  I don’t remember Clinton doing that. 

So, you know, there’s that. 

3.) Robbie Mook should have resigned because Hillary did a bad, bad thing with her email server. 


It was worse than colluding with the Russians to hack the DNC, flood Facebook with fake news stories and failing to release tax returns?  In what universe?  The Trump campaign was being investigated by the FBI, unbeknownst to the rest of us. But we just HAD to know what was in Clinton’s emails?  

Someday, we’re going to have to have a discussion about trust and how badly the media has defined that word. 

The whole interview is stupid, the book’s authors appear to have an agenda and, no doubt, there will be viewers and readers who will feel like their worst suspicions are confirmed. 

It still boils down to the best candidate who has run for decades who was also a woman was forced to concede to the worst candidate we have ever had who happened to be a man. This despite having won more votes than he did and being more honest than he’ll ever be. 

This is the world we live in. 

Take us out, Gillian

Hope your Easter was warm, green and delicious. Now is the time to think about all the nice things that happened today, put them beside you when to sleep, and look forward to the next week.

Fear no nightly noises.