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Florida Correspondent Biff

The entire US Senate was flown today to Mar-a-Lago, the “White House South” in Palm Beach, Florida, for a presentation by Secretary of State Rex “King” Tillerson and Defense Secretary James “Mad Dog” Mattis about the growing dangers of North Korea and it’s belligerent leader, Kim Jong-Un.

Republican senators travelled on Airforce One, while Democrats were ferried via the President’s personal Trump Force One jet. Steve Bannon and Jared Kushner remained in Washington to direct the “alternative White House”.

While meetings of the senior cabinet and the entire senate are rarely hosted at the White House, Chief of Staff Reince Priebus said, “It’s really hard to book a conference room in this town. It seems like Jared or Ivanka have them permanently filled. This was the only place we could find a SCIF.” 

A SCIF, or Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility, is a clean room that has been dusted for bugs and wiped free of viruses and germs. 

“This is the first time I remember anything like this. In my congressional career there’s never been a similar type of a meeting held at the White House that I’m aware of,” said Sen. Ben Cardin (D-MD). “And they served the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you’ve ever seen,” he said, complementing the gracious hospitality always provided by the Trump Organization.

In addition to the introduction by the President and the main presentations, Chairman of the JCS Joseph Dunford and DNI Dan Coats also briefed the senators. The presentations, said one of the Republican attendees, were mostly “at the 30,000 foot level, short on the specifics. Because we really don’t want to give away our plans. I mean, why would you tell the enemy that, right?” It was unclear whether the senator was referring to the North Koreans or the Democratic senators in attendance. 

“I didn’t hear anything new,” said Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee. “It’s good to get everyone together! I can’t wait to get back and vacation here!” added Senate Foreign Relations Committee chairman Bob Corker (R-TN).

“I really enjoyed seeing The Interview on the flight back,” said one of the Democratic attendees. “Seth Rogan is such a funny guy. Maybe he will run after Franken retires. ”
— Biff

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9 Responses

  1. The White House has officially become the playboy mansion. What a joke it all is.

    • It is a big fucking joke. When this is all said and done, I want their lives shred to pieces, no more fleecing of gullible people and enriching themselves, no more lavish lifestyles, no more nothing. I want them to pay a big price for what they have done to this country.

  2. See, they can’t even criticize the fucking Trumps without bringing the Clintons into it. Hillary was an accomplished lawyer in her 40s who was the wife of a popular governor who also had dabbled in public policy and education in that state. She was older and was mightily qualified. But these fucking reporters can’t seem to understand that. Their analogies are not smart, not smart at all and they are stupid fuckers. The media fuckers are part of the problem as much as the Trumps are. The hostility this particular fucking reporter talks about only existed in the Republican and the media ranks. Where is their hostility toward Trump and his corrupt regime now? Shame!

    From this WAPO article:

    Yes, sure, “the Clintons did it” — and look how that turned out. First lady Hillary Clinton’s attempt to craft a health-care policy ended in fiasco largely because her mixed roles created hostility. Even though she acquired genuine legitimacy by being elected senator and serving as secretary of state, that hostility remained. The suspicion of nepotism haunted her throughout her career, and it probably cost her the presidency.

    • Because of course she was not her own person is their way of thinking. Just wait until they have fresh meat to pick apart with misogyny like Gillibrand.

      • One lesson the past nine or so years have taught me thoroughly is that misogyny is stronger than r@ci$m in the USA, at least among USAmericans with higher levels of formal education.

  3. What’s wrong with the conservative worldview in a nutshell:

    Assuming [conservatives are] not just born sadists, one of the reasons for their cruelty is their superstitious approach to life. They refuse to admit that most of life is a matter of chance.

    The whole blogpost, by Lance Mannion.

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