Sweet home Alabama.

The latest fivethirtyeight podcast focuses on races in Virginia and Alabama. Virginia is probably not a bellwether state but Alabama very well could be.

Democrat Doug Jones is running against liberal teeth kicker former judge Roy Moore. Moore is like Joe Arpaio. Not particularly concerned with the niceties that get between him and good old ass kicking Old Testament retribution. He’s got the alpha male contingent all locked up.

Jones is running like a real Democrat. Yeah! Fancy that! In Alabama no less. How did he do it? Did the consultants give him one of the standard “act like you’re running for student council” packages complete with party obscuring websites and yard signs? Did he look at it and say “fuck that shit, I’m running as a liberal”?

Can we craft an effective campaign ad for Jones? It might go something like this:

“Hi, I’m Doug Jones and I’m running for the US senate as a Democrat. And here’s why: after you get your jollies voting Boaty McBoatface into office to make the libtards scream and the snowflakes have a sad, Roy Moore is going to vote to make Medicare almost worthless to you. He’s going to vote to make it harder for you to retire by reducing contributions you want to make to the paltry 401k you got to $2400/year. He’s going to make it easier for you to knock up your girlfriend and pay for the next 18 years.

Now, for sure he’ll make it 10x worse for black people and gay people and women. But do you really think he cares about what happens to some poor white good ol’ boy? He’s going to vote the same way as all them other sumbitches in the swamp and if there are enough of them, they’re going to rape you.

Right now, YOU are outnumbered. There’s nothing to stop them from doing whatever they want. Except for me.

Y’all have a nice day now. Go, Crimson Tide”