Omg, there’s an internet. Jeez.

Bloomberg sums up the top 10 picks for Amazon’s second headquarters and Pittsburgh made the list. But here’s where the real elite influence is felt. BOSTON is on the list.

Why? Because it’s close to Harvard and MIT. And that has what all to do with Amazon’s business model? That’s right. Nothing. Anyway, the whole northeast corridor of research was shuttered and a tiny leftover fraction sent to Boston/Cambridge to manage the outsourcing and what was the reason?

Harvard and MIT.

And while you could plausibly make a case for pharma R&D to relocate there, there are non-disclosure agreements around every corner. It’s not like collaborations are taking place over a pitcher of Sam Adams in Harvard Square. So, yeah, dumbest idea ever, especially considering that there are a lot more people crammed into an area the size of a shoebox and researchers don’t make nearly as much as the idiot executives who want to soak up prestige.

So what did Bloomberg say about Pittsburgh?

The city is home to a large labor force and well-respected research institutes like top AI and robotics university Carnegie Mellon. It’s also close to major distribution hubs and has an industrial manufacturing background that could be useful for Amazon’s warehousing projects. Yet it’s far from other major metro areas and tech hubs.

Omg, there is an internet. If we in East Bumfuck want to learn about something that may be happening in a “tech hub”, as if we aren’t one already, or Boston, someone can show us how to use a keyboard and tell us what a R-O-U-T-E-R is.

Plus housing is dirt cheap and plentiful compared to a place like Boston. We have all the stupid self driving cars you can eat and also have Google HQ here. You’d think if it’s techy enough for google. Maybe the Bloomberg “journalists” need to get out more.

Not that I want Amazon Coming here and exploiting us because Jeff Bezos is ideologically opposed to paying a fair share of the cost of maintaining infrastructure.

In fact, DON’T come, Jeff. We don’t need your kind of trouble. Pittsburgh is already pretty damn awesome.

In the meantime, I hope the other cities don’t let Amazon off the hook. I heard it trashed Seattle.

Aw jeez, the city made a video for Amazon featuring our beautiful three rivers:

Don’t encourage them.

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Dream on, amazon…