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Sunday: We’re making progress(?)

We’re about to crack open our 3rd 5 gallon drum of drylock as we are finishing our first bottle of Beaujolais. There’s a low fat cassoulet in the oven waiting for us to finish the second coat of drylock.

I just have to say for the record that drylocking a basement sucks, er, is of low quality. But we are almost done. Pretty soon the contractor can move in and finish this baby up. Will we finish by Christmas? I doubt it but fir sure I’ll be watching the Superbowl from down here.

This is an open thread.

41 Responses

  1. Ah, the joys of home improvement. I’m about to fashion a insulating tent above our attic door so that the hot air from my big mouth doesn’t keep flying up out of the house. Wuh-hoo!

  2. Why would you want to watch the superbowl from a basement? Just wondering.

  3. T: When the basement is finished, it will be an art studio and entertainment area. It should be very nice.

  4. I’ve had some very bad news. My cousin, who was battling substance abuse and poor decision making, was found hung in his bedroom in my aunt’s house a little while ago. His brother had to break down the door to get to him. We are all very shaken and heartbroken. He leaves two daughters, one is 14 and a family that only wanted the best for him.

  5. Oh, RD. I’m so very sorry.

  6. Riverdaughter,

    That’s terrible news. I’m so sorry for your loss and for his family. Please take care.

  7. Oh, RD. I’m so very sorry.

  8. riverdaughter, how tragic. Wishing you and your family comfort.

  9. Oh, {{{Riverdaughter}}}
    I’m so sorry — You and your cousins and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  10. I haven’t seen him in awhile. I talked to him on the phone in October and was a little annoyed with myself that I didn’t ask him how he was doing. It was like he was just a phone answerer and I really wanted to speak to my aunt. It was very rude of me.
    I know that substance abusers have to decide on their own that they need help and he was very resistant. I think it’s because he was a man of modest abilities and he got into some legal trouble that for him would have looked insurmountable. Sometimes, the law just needs to throw your ass in a treatment center and stop fining you for every little thing. He was running out of options.
    I could kick myself. So angry with the punitive *justice* system.

  11. I’m sorry for your trouble, RD. I have also lost a cousin to complications of alcohol. He was resistant to any and all forms of intervention, and we all miss him terribly.

  12. RD — here’s a hug ((((((((((((((((((((riverdaughter))))))))))))))) my brother has had a drug problem since he was 14 – he just turned 48. It’s so tough. You can’t beat yourself up. He choose this life and you can’t take responsibility. My mother has finally stood her ground this year. She got to the point where she told him I have done everything for you. He lives on the street or a shelter. She can’t live his kind of life. I am polite to him, but I can’t do anything for him – can’t afford to watch it all go down the drain.

    I digress – this really is about you and your family right now. Tough days ahead. You and your family will be in Puma hearts all around the world – know that.

  13. battling substance abuse and poor decision making
    When these people are gone–and it always seems like when and not if–it seems like they are very deeply missed in spite of the pain they have brought to so many people. Perhaps it is because they leave something unresolved that can never be expressed, or perhaps out of the pain of their own lives they have been able to make things focus more sharply for others. Does that make sense?–it does to me. I share your pain; I’m sure many others do too.

    There is little comfort, except to know now he is in peace.

  14. SOD — great, great post earlier — thank you !!! I want to cut and paste the whole thing right over to my obot friends — and I think I will. I will tell them — this is why — when you say ‘when will you get over it?” === this is why I can’t.

  15. nijma — WOW — that is spot on

  16. RD, I’m so sorry to hear of such a tragic loss – a cousin I was closest with committed suicide a few years back – I was very angry withher for not reaching out to one of us – then I become furious with myself for not reaching across country to her.

  17. That is awful. I am so sorry. One of my close family members committed suicide and I know how helpless it makes you feel.

    Don’t torture yourself. There probably was nothing anyone could do.

  18. I’m so sorry RD. My sympathies to your whole family.

  19. RD, thank you so much for sharing news of this tragedy with us. My prayers are with you and the family of your cousin. Your words have helped so many on this blog, so please, let the good wishes and prayers you are receiving sink in to your soul.

  20. Condolences, RD. I’m very sorry about your sadness. I wish I could find something to say to lessen your pain. I cannot, but I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and the thoughts of the hundreds of people you inspire each day.

  21. Condolences, RD. I’m very sorry about your sadness. I wish I could find something to say to lessen your pain. I cannot, but I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and the thoughts of the hundreds of people you inspire each day.

  22. RD, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

  23. My condolences and heartfelt sympathies. A dead in the family is never easy to deal with, no matter how it happened.

    I think in the case of someone who suffered from substance abuse for years, the relatives and friends feel even worse because they spend a lot of time second-guessing themselves afterward.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  24. RD — so sorry to hear about your family tragedy. Suicide leaves those who remain behind in double pain because they want to look inward and see if there is anything they could have done. Please know that there was nothing more you or others could have done. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  25. I am sorry about your cousin.
    {{{{Riverdaughter and family}}}}

  26. RD – I am so sorry to hear your tragic news. Many hugs and much sympathy to you and your family.

    I firmly believe that people who really want to leave this mortal plane cannot be prevented from doing so. Life is just too much for some to handle.


  27. RD – I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Way before I was born, we had a hanging suicide in my family. My Dad found the body – of his mother. He was 22. He never got over. Maybe things could have been better for him and his siblings if they had the counseling we have available today. Pls try to take advantage of these resources. It’s so much better to talk about it rather than having it be the “family secret”.

  28. Hey gang.


  29. Riverdaughter
    Your family will be in my prayers.
    Drugs have done such damage to so many families.
    Please get all the help the family needs



  30. For anyone and everyone who is interested in understanding depression, suicide, and mental illness, here is an excellent website:


    My prayers go out to you and your family, Riverdaughter.

  31. RD: Know that your feeling of loss and confusion is shared by all of us. Word often fail to convey what is in our hearts.

  32. Oh RD, I am so sorry. What a terrible tragedy. Are you able to stay in touch with his kids? They are going to need all the support they can get. And we are here to support you–always.

    You have held us up through so many dark times. We are here for you, too.


  33. RD.

    This is very sad. My condolences and heart are with you.
    Oh, RD.

    Hugs across the continent.

  34. I am so sorry to hear about your cousin, Riverdaughter. A close friend of mine committed suicide many years ago, and it is still something that is a loose thread in my life. Afterwards, I remember reading Alverez’s “The Savage God, A Study of Suicide,” which was helpful. I had no idea that he suffered from depression. He completely hid it. Later I pieced together the last few months of his life, a time when I did not see him. He seemed to have become
    a different person. People I knew described a different person. He was just 29, and had a very promising future.

  35. Oh my. I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your cousin. It seems this time of year is harder on those who are having other difficulties and the season can make it worse.

    In all likelihood there is probably nothing anyone else could have done w/out him being in treatment or otherwise under care.

  36. RD, I’m sorry to hear about your cousin’s death. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Take care.

  37. RD I am so very sorry for your loss and am sending comfort . I had an uncle that took his own life , he had had problems most of his life and left two almost grown daughters and his wife. It was very hard on the family .Everyone automatically thinks ,what could have I have done? , and that is because we love them; but truly there is not anything that could have been done.
    .Many many years ago I also lost a a very dear friend to depression and suicide at the tender age of 16 , who had been thru treatment at Johns Hopkins. He lives in my heart to this day . Sending much comfort to you and your family.

  38. Condolences from me and my mother, RD. I’m so sorry your family is going through this.

  39. I add my late condolences, RD.

    Please don’t kick yourself too hard over this. These are not easy times.

  40. Ah, RD, I just caught up on this thread. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll be thinking about your family, especially your cousin’s daughters who must be so sad.

    For everyone else on this thread whose suffered this kind of loss, I’m so sorry for your pain as well.

    This is such a sad day.

  41. Very sorry RD-drugs are so hard to deal with.
    Keep watching over his kids-they will be at risk.

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