Well, this changes everything. Biblical scholars recently received a piece of 4th century papyrus from Egypt where Jesus says he had a wife and she was to be his disciple. There’s only one person he could be referring to here, Mary Magdalene. We know this because similar lines have been found in earlier texts, the Gospel of Thomas and the Gospel of Mary and refer to Mary Magdalene who Jesus was said to kiss on the lips.
It’s probably true (but not all the Dan Brown crap). Yes, those texts are gnostic and were purged at about the time the Roman empire decided to go Chrisitan. How convenient. The Roman priesthood, all male, probably didn’t want to have to give up good positions of power and influence to some upstart Coptic women claiming discipleship.
History is frequently written by the winners and women didn’t have a prayer, no pun intended, of becoming leaders in the church once the manly-man’s empire got involved. So, better burn the evidence. But I have always wondered what lurks in the vaults of the Vatican library. Did they get rid of everything? And if the earlier versions of the texts show up that are roughly contemporaneous with the canonical gospels, how will that change the Catholic Church, which seems to founded on male exclusivity nd “no smelly girls at the altar”? What will it mean to the Nuns on the Bus and that womens leadership conference that has been told to shut up and stick to the teachings of the catholic church?
I have to say one thing, it sure gives me a new found respect for Jesus, who was one awesome Occupier and a man ahead of his time.
But can’t you just imagine what’s going on at the Vatican tonight?
Papal Secretary: Your Holiness, sorry to interrupt you but have you seen this news article about the scrap of papyrus that says Mary Magdalene was Jesus’ wife and one of his disciples?
Pope: What? Let me see that. Where did you find that?
P. Sec: On the Internet, your holiness. You should check your Facebook page.
P. Sec: Sister Pat, that nun who’s been a pain in your cassock for the past couple of months says she would like to dialog with you about opening a seminary for women seeking to take their vows of priesthood.
Pope: Oh, God!
P. Sec: Well, to be honest, your holiness, isn’t this just the ticket? You can ditch those NAMBLA members and sign on some of these women. They’ll work for peanuts and we can get back on the road to fiscal sanity in some of these parishes.
Pope: But they’re going to want to have a seat at the table. We’ll have to build new bathrooms. They’re going to want to mess with the decorating and the uniforms. Can’t we get the PR department on this?
P. Sec: It’s too late, your holiness. The nuns are already redlining the mass. “Consubstantial” has been stricken. They said it sounds esoteric and pompous. And they want a total rewrite of the Apostle’s Creed. In general, they said we should dial it back on the virginity thing.
Pope: Holy Mother of God.
P. Sec: No, wife. But I think you’re getting the picture. By the way, the guys and I have gotten together on this and, well, you know, we like to know when we can start dating. Take your time, but not too much time. We’re not getting any younger.