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The one where Wonkette calls Joe Scarborough a jagoff…

… for suggesting Hillary is showing too much of her RBF (resting bitch face).

Just read the whole thing. Wonkette is playing with her food.

PS, Wonkette must know Pittsburgh with her jagoff line. Also, check out John Fetterman’s campaign site to get your own “Trump is a Jagoff” T-shirt.

The Misogynist Feminist

mediacorporatebullshitclintonbias

One of our recent visitors from Wonkette left this little gem in the comments:

Here is the deal. I have worked for progressive feminist causes all my adult life. I defended clinics, Defended birthmothers against exploitation. i canvassed for Mondale-Ferraro and withstood verbal assaults standing up for feminism and liberalism. I read this site and I am ashamed of you ladies. This is not what I thought feminism would lead to. I used to look up to your generation of females, I used to defend you as trailblazers, but you are now just whiners. I worked for Ferraro, but If I knew back when I was 18 who Ferraro would turn into I would have been ashamed as I am now.

Clinton lost because she didn’t run a good campaign and she was up against the best campaign run in modern history. She wasted money thinking she was a shoe-in. She couldn’t get enough progressives to forgive for her war vote and her unwillingness to admit she made a mistake.

Wanna a tough loss? Try working for the Mondale campaign and living through Reagan-Bush. Grow some callouses and join a cause that is positive. You are doing squat for women on this site. You are just embarrassing us.

Wonkette may be a bunch of profane drunkard political junkies but believe it or not they have far more humanity and wit than you all have in your whole collective. You suck oxygen out anywhere you are noticed. I could hardly look at you.

Wonkette at least has fun at what it does and never takes itself seriously. They make me laugh and often. This site is only poison and ugliness. Get over yourselves and figure out how you can actually do something positive in the world. This isn’t it ladies. The world is passing you by because it refuses to revolve around you.

You are not womanhood, you don’t represent me or feminism or any kind of progress for women if this site or any Puma site is your resume.

Grow up and be real women.

Let’s see, where do I start?  First of all, if the author of that piece was 18 in 1984, she would be in her 40’s right now, placing her in the middle of the PUMA demographic.  In fact, I’m pretty sure she would be older than Riverdaughter, the author of the post she was commenting on.

Secondly, I notice that our visitor didn’t make any substantive criticism or explain what made her “ashamed” of us “ladies.”  Was it our support for freedom of choice and LGBT rights?  Our posts condemning domestic violence and sexism?  Our advocacy of universal healthcare and the 51% solution?

Thirdly, in response to the standard Obama troll refrain about Hillary, I want to point out that Hillary got more primary votes than Obama (more than any Democrat ever!) while spending less money.  And she did it with the media biased against her and in favor of Obama.

Lastly, in regards to the “humanity” of the Wonkette community, how does she explain this?  Or the misogyny filled comment threads here, here and here?  How about the hundreds of vile and disgusting Wonktard comments that have filled our spam filter for the last couple of days, like the one comparing the vaginas of PUMA women to a grilled cheese sandwich?

Is this an example of Wonkette humanity?:

Neilist says at 6:55 pm, January 6th, 2009
– ReplyThis is really sick.

I watched the gabnet.com video re advertising and the sexual objectification of women, etc. I agreed with a lot of the points made, but then I read this little gem:

“This is what the victory of Barack Obama means for women: We are all fair game. It’s fine to advocate violence against Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin, over and over and over. You can win a national election by doing that, no matter how unqualified and corrupt you are. It’s also fine for Obama’s chief speechwriter to feign date rape against Hillary Clinton and not only keep his privileged position in the Administration, but to write the inaugural speech.”

I immediately decided that rape is a Good Thing.

For some people, that is.

(PUMAs: Word to the wise: Cows don’t get raped.

Even if they ask politely.

Moooooooo . . . . )

Well “mothermaven?”  What’s your explanation?

Wonktards Beware! ‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›

The big bad PUMAs are gonna get you!:

We are being MURDERED by Crooks & Liars some blog we have literally never heard of, called “Confluence,” right now. Please put a stop to this outrage.

As for our pathetic Blogstalkers:

I got yer rumproast right here!
I got yer rumproast right here!

————————————————————————————

Don’t forget, Captain Spaulding says VOTE!

For Best Liberal Blog, vote for The Confluence here

For Best New Blog, vote for Uppity Woman here

For Best Small Blog, vote for Nice Deb here

For Best Hidden Gem, vote for Deadenders here

For Best Food Blog, vote for Cake Wrecks here

For Best Pet Blog, vote for F**k You, Penguin here

If you feel obligated to cast a vote in every category, Captain Spaulding says Ace of Spades is 2% less evil than the other nominees for “Best Conservative Blog” so you can vote for them here

Sic Semper Tyrannis

f_030409_statue01.jpg

“Thus ever to tyrants”
(Artwork by State of Disbelief)

_______________________________________________________________________________

We Get Letters

Cue the bouncy 50’s ad music.

Good evening, Conflucians. Today was the second day to vote for Best Liberal Blog at the 2008 Weblog Awards. Did you cast your vote today? One vote per person per day. We want to win fair and square.

I’d like to thank Wonkette for boosting our blog stats today. Things got a little slow during the holidays and post election but we’re doing pretty good today for an itty bitty liberal blog. {{Snarf!}}  Wonkette’s writers committed the cardinal sin of blogging.  One *never* acknowledges one’s rivals.  They have just realized that they have made this strategic error and are trying to call it back but it’s TOO LATE!  We never considered Wonkette to be rivals so it’s fine and dandy for us to ride this baby for awhile.

Tonight, I’d like to read a few of our letters from our readers. These letters were carefully selected from our SPAM filter. I had to dispose of the hipwaders afterwards but let’s give our fans credit for their, um, creativity.

Let’s go to the first one. This is part of a spam message from Lauren. I would print the whole thing but Lauren is messianic in her anti-feminist zeal and it gets old after awhile. But I happen to agree with her, in part, on point number 4 in her commentary regarding the video compilation of misogynistic advertisments:

4. Shoddy research– the Puma sneaker ad with the dripped semen is a well known fake/joke. It was not produced by their company and its inclusion in the video shows that the producer is out of touch and may not be getting all the subtext in these ads. That’s unfortunate, because it would have been a great commentary on marketing messages–

“Cute girls who wear Pumas totally give head! Drop of a hat! WEARING THEIR SHOES! They don’t swallow, though…”

No one takes ads like that literally, not consciously or subconsciously. No one. I think we damage our cause as feminists when we deliberately refuse to recognize bawdy humor, because most young people quite literally do not have the excess energy to be ticked off all the time after they get done with work and school. I think, “Ha! I get it!” is a better angle for dialogue, but YMMV.

I like bawdy humor. It’s raunchy and acknowledges the differences between men and women in a fun, harmless way. Sort of like Olaf and Lena jokes. Or something stupid that myiq2xu posted in his Balloon Juice days. We are patiently housebreaking him because he’s really smart and we know he has a good heart. Well, what’s left of it anyway.

But Lauren, some of those ads are not parodies. Some of the Heroin Chic ads are deliberate because pale, skinny women look good when the  clothes they wear are flapping around them like laundry on the line in a breeze. We just object to pale, skinny women who look drugged lying at the feet of some guy who is standing over them in a menacing way OR throwing her in the trunk of his car, not that there’s anything wrong with riding in the trunk aside from the carbon monoxide and general lack of breathable air. Hey, if Lauren likes shooting up only to be bundled into the trunk of her boyfriend’s car in an unconscious state, who am I to tsk-tsk her bawdy fun? Jocularity! Jocularity!
Moving on.

Our next letter is from GoldJeffBlum:

MAKE ME A SAMMINCH YOU UGLY, SMELLY WIMMINZ!!!!!! I AM REINFORCING YOUR OPINIONS!!!! AASSSFUCKING!!!!

Mr. GoldJeffBlum has us confused with Ana Maria Cox who as I recall wrote odes to the art of ASSF$^&king. Please correct me if I’m wrong.

Reader Patrickkelley makes some predictions:

Okay, I know I’m going to get tagged as spam, but I’ll try anyway. Here’s my prediction, inspired by the “I will work for Hillary in ‘12″ comment somebody posted. Hillary will be Obama’s VP in 2012. Biden will bow out. They will probably win. In 2016 it will probably be Hillary versus Palin, and Palin will clean her clock. I almost this.

By the time all this comes through, this blog will still be whining and spamming comments from anybody that laughs at you over it.

Wow, that was amazing! Mr. Kelley’s comment was tagged as spam just as he said it would be. But maybe he didn’t really deserve to be put in the spam filter. Let’s look at the rest of his comment. He predicts that Hillary will try to run for president again but that Palin “will clean her clock”. Interesting. Actually, I think the chances of Hillary ever running again approach a limit of negative infinity. Hmmm, I wonder if Mr. Kelly even knows why he hates Hillary?

A for whining and spamming comments, pish-tosh, we don’t give a flying fig. Most of the time, the spam filter picks up the offensive material automatically. We never even see it. And in the spam filter, no one gets to hear you scream.

We have time for only one more. Let me see if I can find a truly offensive one. It’s pretty hard to do these days. During the primary, we got death threats but this stuff is kind of mild.
Ah, this one by SheWomanWomanHater is really over the top:

I read Wonkette religiously. I am also a woman. Before you go suggesting that I am self-loathing, understand that I am a staunch feminist. My mother is continuing to blaze trails and bust balls in a male-dominated profession and she taught me everything she knows.

She and my father taught me to exercise tact and to take time to laugh at myself. Perhaps I can extend these lessons to The Confluence. Getting bent out of shape when a humor blog has some laughs, crying foul at even the most minor encroachment, and calling Wonkette readers childish names while lifting yourself up as the righteous and mature parties is not the way to win favor.

You’ll probably say that you don’t care if you piss us off or not, but realize this: No movement gains traction without popular support.

If I were a fundy, I’d say SWWH had committed blasphemy but she’s likely to think I meant that seriously when I’m really just making fun of her.

The nerve! She is threatening to keep us from sitting at the popular lunch table. Apparently, the entire civilized world beats a path to the door of Wonkette everyday and she is going to withhold all of the splendors of being on the inside if we don’t learn to respect our elders. The entire, vast blogosphere with billions and billions of blogs revolves around Wonkette and we will be thrown into the primordial echo of the Internet Big Bang, forced to ftp our comments and posts and all because we cannot keep a civil tongue in our mouths. How DARE we?!! I am shocked and appalled by our behavior. To think that we would aspire to take them on and win all of the fabulous prizes? What were we thinking?

Well, I was thinking, “Who the hell reads Wonkette anymore?” I stand corrected. Clearly we have overestimated the intelligence of the left blogosphere.

Live and Learn. Keep those cards and letters coming.

When did mean and vicious become “funny?”

 icepick_new_year

The picture above was posted on New Year’s Eve at a blog called Rumproast by the blog owner, “Kevin K.”  The picture is titled “icepick_new_year.”  It was taken from a video posted today at Wonkette by managing editor and part-owner Ken Layne.  At both blogs the picture/video were treated as “humor.”  The comment threads speak for themselves:

Ok, I wasn’t going to start drinking for another couple of hours.  First beer cracked upon setting my eyes upon that horror.

and

 It’s like her face is trying to get away from her body. That is so cool and gross.

Earlier today, a “Wonktard” (their expression) had this to say about Wonkette:

“. . . their rapid-fire satire and off-the-cuff riffing is without equal in the blogosphere and is some of the most hysterically funny political commentary I or my friends have ever read.”

Molly Ivins was the funniest liberal who ever lived, bar none.  Here’s what she said (emphasis mine):

There are two kinds of humor. One kind that makes us chuckle about our foibles and our shared humanity — like what Garrison Keillor does. The other kind holds people up to public contempt and ridicule — that’s what I do. Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel — it’s vulgar.

Vulgar is right.

The woman in the picture and video is not an elected official.  She is not wealthy or powerful.  She never hurt anyone.  So why do Rumproast and Wonkette feel she deserves mockery and scorn? 

Because she is woman, a PUMA and a supporter of Hillary Clinton.

How can someone who claims to be a liberal or progressive have so much hate in their hearts for the weak and powerless?  How can they have so little empathy, pity, or shame?

By the way – Rumproast is a 2008 Weblog Award finalist for “Best Small Blog.  Wonkette is a 2008 Weblog Award finalist for “Best Liberal Blog.”

I hope their parents are proud.

Wonkette Gets Pwn’ed

Tutti F**kin' Fruity!

“one very petulant clown”

 From Wonkette:

So we checked out our “competitor,” the Confluence blog, and, as many of you have already discovered… it’s a PUMA site! They have a post called, “An Interview with Harriet Christian, NY Senate Seat Contender.” Oh man. Welcome to our radar, Confluence!

I thought it was priceless when Blogstalkers was fooled by the Harriet Christian satire, but now an “A” lister got taken too, hook, line and sinker!

Can someone please explain what’s “liberal” about this?:

Is confluence codespeak for menstruation?

or this?:

the site was originally called an_army_of_stale_vaginas_fused_shut_over_40-50_inactive_and_bitter_years.com but the name was too long.

Strangely enough, Wonkette is currently leading in the Weblog Awards polling for “Best Liberal Blog,” with more votes than everyone else combined.  “Everyone else” includes “A” listers TPM, Crooks & Liars, Hullaballoo and Glenn Greenwald, as well as a lowly non-list blog called The Confluence.

Although The Confluence had an early lead, Wonkette began moving up steadily in the poll.  At approximately 11pm EST they were at 49%, then 50%, 51%, 52% and they are now over 53%!  In fact, as of about 4am EST, they are the only blog seeing any voting action. 

Wonkette supporters must be like tireless little ‘bots, casting their votes while most of the rest of the nation sleeps.  In the time (3am-4:30am EST) that it took The Confluence to gain 5 votes to go from 541 to 546, Wonkette gained 76 votes to go from 2306 to 2377, giving them 53.2% of the votes!  The Confluence at 12.2% is holding a steady lead over the rest of the field for second place, but we are all losing ground to Wonkette. 

I didn’t think there were that many Wonkette fans, but it’s a freep country.

———————————————————————————–

Don’t forget, Captain Spaulding says VOTE!

For Best Liberal Blog, vote for The Confluence here

For Best New Blog, vote for Uppity Woman here

For Best Small Blog, vote for Nice Deb here

For Best Hidden Gem, vote for Deadenders here

If you feel obligated to cast a vote in every category, Captain Spaulding says Ace of Spades is 2% less evil than the other nominees for “Best Conservative Blog” so you can vote for them here