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Reprise: To the Manor Born

Dan Froomkin and Jeff Faux have recently written about the new Servant Economy.  Ha! Once again, I scooped them by three years.  Here’s my post on the subject from 2009: To the Manor Born. Enjoy.

My dearest reader,

This letter hopes to find you and your family well and that the fortunes of employment bestowed upon you are sufficient so as to alleviate your most strenuous anxiety that frequently attends the lack of an income.  The news daily importunes a great degree of future distress and depression on that front but I beg you leave off such ruminations.  For it is a truth universally acknowledged that bailout recipients of great fortune must be in want of retainers.

Gentle reader, take heart.  We shall all be wanted to serve our masters most diligently.  There shall be need of cooks, chauffeurs and gardeners. And we will simplify the need of our betters to have to remember our names, we shall be called “Cook”, “Foote” and “my own Gardener”.  We shall see the world too as we will be required to set up the many houses upon which our masters will depend for their amusement.  Verily, our cares will be few as we will be relieved of even the details of our costume with the new livery we shall be required to wear.  Musicians and cookery artists may gain full employment now by attaching themselves to one houshold or another, thereby ensuring a modest steady income that will make tolerable the lack of taste that is the failure of good understanding in the ruthlessly fittest.  Is there a felicity in the world superior to this?

Indeed, such a change is already taking place and it will not be long before we entertain ourselves with the arrangements of the nuptials of the gentility.  How much merry  we will make over the sport of alliances between houses of many billions and poor connexions indeed will the girl have who will settle for less than $5 million a year.  Of those of us who cannot go into service but will be left among the professional class, it is true that we cannot all benefit half so well,  But those among us with a natural inclination for the sciences will by necessity attach ourselves to the billionaire biologists who live on their interest and can dabble at leisure on the cure for cancer.  Meanwhile, there will be no further need of scientific inquiry that does not directly benefit our betters and what financial interest they have in the area of innovation will find it thought of by those few remaining who can afford it and carried out in the Indies by those whose lives depend upon it.

Be of good cheer.  Your degrees will not be for naught as diligence in improving ones mind must always find employment in entertaining the spirit during a lifetime of artless routine.  There will always be an opportunity to move up in the world for your daughters, so take care to educate them as well as you can and guard their excesses lest they be thought below the station of the company they intend to keep. As for your sons, the militia is an honorable profession.

I beg to take leave of you now but I hope this missive has had the effect of good persuasion and that you will in every way endeavor to exert yourself to optimism and hope.  It can not be long now before we shall be required to adjust to our reduced circumstances, which will affect in us a discipline to such an extent that will in time reduce the surplus population.   To be sure,  pliancy and resiliance of spirit will serve ourselves and our future masters well.

Your most humble and obediant servant, etc.,



Kill this Meme: Job Creators

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve heard a lot nonsense about ‘job creators’.  It’s popping up in clips from Fox News and vomiting forth from the mouths of Republican operatives and politicians.  The meme goes like this: unless we learn to lower our voices and make sacrifices and burnt offerings of pleasing aroma to the “job creators”, they will not bestow the blessings of what Jane Austen would call “a living” on us.

What kind of focus group tested nonsense is this?  The term “job creator” smacks me of having a quasi religious undertone.  The religious frequently refer to God as their ‘creator’.  Is Heavenly Father and Lord far behind?

The religious aspect of the ‘job creator’ meme also carries with it into the business world the wrathful, jealous god characteristics.  “Don’t piss us off or we’ll smite you and make you poor.  Continue to cut our taxes and you will be rewarded with eternal prosperity.  The cardinal sin is disobedience to our will.  The choice is up to you.”

This is bullshit.  Business people are business people, not immortals.  They need people to help them make money.  Making money is what they do.  They can either pay you for your expertise to help them make money or not.  Mostly not, these days.  But that’s not always going to work in their favor.  People *will* adapt.  They’ll either learn to live with less, in which case the demi-gods will be raking in less money, or they’ll learn to compete, or they’ll band together to throw the old gods out and install some new ones.  There’s no reason for any of us to put up with sociopathic megalomaniacs who are constantly zapping us with economic lightening bolts.  F^(* that S^*#.

These people need to read some Phillip Pullman.  Whoa!  Wasn’t it Phillip Pullman who recently dubbed them the “feral elite”?  If that doesn’t describe them, I don’t know what does.  They think they have the power and the glory and have no allegiance to any country.  Fine with me.  I keep saying that the best thing we could do for the world would be to direct their private jets to the Cayman Islands, impose a blockade, bust their internet connection down to some slllllooooooowwwww DSL, jam their satellite and let them live out the rest of their days with their money.

And now we have their minions at Standard and Poors downgrading out credit.  Apparently, we are not humble enough.  We are not giving enough of ourselves, our livelihoods, our childrens’ college funds.  No, now we have to bow and scrape to the S&P and beg forgiveness for having the audacity to want to keep the decades and decades of payroll taxes we set aside for our retirements that do not add to the deficit.  If we just gave it to them, they would hallow us once more with their blessings.

No, just, no.

I know theft and fraud when I see it and I’m not going to beg for my life just so they don’t take more obscene cash than they already have.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt.

Hillary for President in 2012.  Accept no faux-Democrat substitutes.