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Barack Obama Meets America: A Play In One Sad Act.

Barack Obama Meets America: A Play In One Sad Act.

A Special Guest Post by madamab
Originally produced at Oooh, nuance!

THE SCENE: Senator Barack Obama and America are seated in a large auditorium. Obama is sitting on the stage in a folding chair. A door in the back is marked “THIS WAY TO HILLARY CLINTON’S PLACE.” Another door reads “VOTE FOR JOHN MCCAIN.”]

AMERICA: Welcome, Senator Obama! We are soooooo ready to elect a Democrat this year, and we loved, loved, LOVED your speech at the Democratic National Convention in 2004. You are such an eloquent and intelligent guy…and your charisma is amazing! We are looking so forward to getting to know you better!

OBAMA (smiling): That was a wonderful welcome! Thank you, America!

AMERICA: No, thank YOU. We have some great candidates this year, and you’re one of them! So, tell us. Why should we elect you President of the United States?

OBAMA (standing up and pacing): Aren’t you tired of the same old Washington politics? Well, so am I. I’m not really a politician – I’m something new and different! I will unify all Americans so that we can work together to make our country a better place. We will finally get out of this partisan gridlock that has been preventing us from moving forward. Just believe in me and we can make it happen together! Yes, we can!

AMERICA: Oooh! That was really inspirational! [Iowa faints and Obama throws her a water bottle he just happens to have with him.] Okay, so tell us: How are you going to accomplish this?

OBAMA (smiling): Hey, don’t worry about that. All my policy proposals are on my website. You can tell I’m smart, right? I was the editor of the Harvard Law Review! Trust me, I know what I’m doing. I was right about Iraq, wasn’t I? And remember that Hillary voted for the AUMF. The Iraq war wouldn’t have happened without her!

[OBAMA’S CHAIR TURNS INTO A THRONE.]

[AMERICA mutters a bit. New Hampshire gets up and walks toward the CLINTON door.] Continue reading