Dear Donna, if you don’t have time to do it right…

When will you have time to DO IT OVER?

I know you answer email personally, Donna, but for some reason, you did not reply to my invitation to take questions at The Confluence.  No matter, we know the answers to the questions we would have asked because you stupidly told them to the Wall Street Journal and the NYTimes yesterday.  The pre-Convention Obama Haka sounds like this:

The problem is “there’s a strong feeling” that Sen. Clinton’s delegates need the chance to vote for her, Mr. Devine said. Many are still angry with a party decision that they feel deprived her of delegates from Michigan and Florida. “You don’t want a situation where anybody feels they’ve been cheated,” he said.

A second option would be for Sen. Clinton to be nominated, complete with laudatory speeches and happy floor demonstrations. By prearrangement, Sen. Clinton then would take her name out of consideration and endorse Sen. Obama’s nomination.

“There’s nothing symbolically wrong to putting her name in,” followed by a scripted withdrawal, said Ms. Brazile. But the spectacle of a rapturous welcome for Sen. Clinton would be irresistible to television and could embarrass Sen. Obama.

Oh, please.  Nothing could be more embarrassing for Senator Obama than to have his buddies on the Rules and Bylaws committee rig the vote for him so he could slither that last centimeter over the finish line.  How could it be more humiliating than to find that the first African-American to be nominated has to have the caucuses stacked in his favor, the critical mass of two major states withheld from the tally of his opponent and the entire US News media out for blood for Hillary in order to just barely squeak by?  Did I mention all of the superdelegates that had to be threatened with primary challenges, the other superdelegates that were bought off, the power of DFA used as your personal campaign organization outside of the official OBAMA organization and nearly every African-American in the US voting for you?  And with all of that plus the institutional power of the Democratic establishment lining up behind Obama so they can pull his strings after he is in office, he only just *barely* managed to buy his way into the winner’s circle.  Barely.  Because we’re not talking about his qualifications or experience, which is virtually non-existent. I can’t think of anything more embarrassing than having been carried to the nomination on the back of droogs who want to use you.  For sure, no one will ever look at the nomination of Barack Obama and have anyone say he won on his merits.  Doesn’t get any more embarrassing than that.

But I find this passage the funniest:

The Obama campaign said Monday that the Illinois senator would accept the nomination at the 76,000-seat stadium where the Denver Broncos football team plays so that thousands of nondelegates could attend. But the campaign hasn’t settled other key questions about the convention, including whether Sen. Clinton’s name will be put into nomination, said Obama spokesman Bill Burton.

Sen. Clinton’s campaign office didn’t answer emails seeking comment.  Under party rules, Sen. Clinton’s huge delegate count gives her the right to put her name into nomination. “But do you do it?” asked Ms. Brazile.  “Politically, does it heighten tensions?”

LOLOLOLOL!  {{Catching breath, wiping eyes, clearing throat}}

Donna, Donna, Donna, get your fingers out of your ears and stop singing “la-la-la”.  You cannot force the Democrats to accept this man, I don’t care if you ARE trying to use his candidacy to score points for African-Americans.  This election year wasn’t supposed to be an opportunity to have a teachable moment about race.  This was an election year to wrest control from the Republicans and here you are, making a pact with Nancy “Impeachment-is-off-the-table” Pelosi to hand control over the executive branch over to Congress but, by golly, you’ll have an African-American in the WH.  One who is not prepared, who has no coalitions who he can call on outside the ones who were handed to him and who will be facing a war, a failing economy, health care issues and global warming.  If he doesn’t end up like the failed and equally unprepared Deval Patrick, we will be lucky.  You would have been better off recommending him for VP and letting him learn on the job behind a much more experienced nominee.  Instead, you may set back progress by decades.

But the thing I want to point out to you, Donna, you dumb@$$, is that a floor fight, complete with “heightened political tensions” could be the best thing that happens to your candidate.  Let him present his case to the superdelegates.  Let them hear from Clinton as well.  Let the best PERSON win.  If it’s Barack Obama, if he suddenly displays the leadership abilities you have said he posesses (and which we have yet to see), then the party will unite behind him and we will go forward together, not altogether happy about it, but much more reconciled than we are now.  But to preclude such an event, to truncate the process is to leave those bad feelings intact and will almost guarantee that the party will continued to be fractured.

Sure there is a risk.  The risk is that the better candidate will be Hillary Clinton and that superdelegates will flock to her en masse, leaving Obama out in the cold.  There is a risk that they will put her on the top of the ticket and force Obama to take the VP spot.  Ohhh!  Horrors!  It’s *almost* the perfect unity ticket, one that just about everyone will understand and agree with, one that will make the Democrats unbeatable in the fall.  What could be worse for Nancy, Howard and Donna?  It would spell the end of their evil triumvirate.  There would be much rejoicing! Invesco Field would be the scene of celebration and a wild bacchanalia.  Wine would flow, frenzied dancing and orgies would ensue!  The media would committ hari-kari!

So, why are you being such a f$^*ing killjoy?

BTW, I will be a guest of Sheri Tag’s on NO WE WON’T PUMA RADIO on blogtalkradio tonight at 7pm EST.  Hope to hear from you!

The Confluence is a satisfied member of the Just Say No Deal coalition.

Spikin’ it in the End Zone

In spite of, or perhaps, *because* of, the sussurations of discontent rippling through the political sphere over Obama’s recent turn to the right (we told you so, sorry, couldn’t resist), Howard Dean, et al has decided to take what ever money is left from what the DNC doesn’t have and bet it all on an extravaganza at Invesco Field in Denver.  Dean’s taking inevitability up to 11. We suspect that a major rock-star-slash-slavishly-deluded-devotee of Obama’s will provide the halftime entertainment. Howard Wolfson, Fox’s newest addition to its political coverage will provide color commentary, along with the master of the game, Karl Rove.

The plan is to fill the seats with thousands and thousands of Coloradans who have nothing better to do to than to celebrate a staged recreation/renewal of Martin Luther King’s “I have a Dream Speech” on its 45th anniversary (I’m sure it’s just a coincidence) with a new and improved speech by the Dauphin of Democracy, Barack Obama on the day of his coronation.  His speech has already been hailed by historians as the most-awesomist-uplifting-inspiring rhetoric of the century for people of all races, ethnicities and religious affiliations, regardless of trust fund (offer does not apply to Muslims, women, working class individuals who can’t tell a San Giovese from a Super Tuscan, persons over the age of 50, or sino-peruvian lesbians).

He will be preceded onto the field by a procession of buxom blonde beauties from the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models with PhDs in Architecture contingent who are free and equal women, wearing hot pants and shiny, white, patent leather boots and carrying pom-poms in aqua and sky (to reflect the lines in his speech about “sea to shining sea and the sky is no limit”)  Right now, they’re practicing their jump left, pom-pom, jump right, pom-pom, step wide, thrust out chest equipt with cantilevered demi-bra with silicone gel add-ons, grind, left-right-left (to reflect Obama’s propensity to swing back and forth).

At the end of the speech, Obama will run into the end zone where he will stand patiently waiting for Howard Dean to lob the phallus, er, football from the 10 yard line.  Obama will spike and do the funky chicken, take a victory lap, pour Gatorade on John Kerry’s head, accept the nomination and become the Patriot we know him to be.