I’ve lived with the kitchen for a year. It was hideous. The cabinets were dark brown laminate and when we took them down, we discovered that they had been installed on May 16, 1973. The date was scrawled on the back of them in black wax crayon. They didn’t even have Sharpies back then. I couldn’t wait to remove those horrible traffic orange countertops. The sink was beyond disgusting. No, you don’t even want to know. Initially, I was only going to do a paint job and replace the countertop and sink but the insides of the cabinets started to fall apart and it became clear that the whole kitchen had to be replaced.
I had a $5000 budget for this job and not a lot of options. So, I designed and ordered an Ikea kitchen last July but there was so much craziness going on last year (you have no idea) that I couldn’t get it installed. I didn’t think I could do it myself and contractors take F-O-R-E-V-E-R to come to your house, assess the situation and write up a quote. The quotes were all over the place. One turned out to be twice as much as the cabinets and countertops (butcher block, in case you’re wondering what I went with). I don’t know what contractors base their numbers on but they didn’t make much sense.
Then my cousin Steve moved back from Texas. He did some contracting work down there and I hired him. We’re learning all about installing Ikea on the job. It’s not as hard as I thought. The microwave cabinet has been the trickiest installation so far. The design looks good, if I do say so myself, but we’re only half way through the process. (Have a professional measure your kitchen for the best fit.) Today, we’re doing the base cabinets and with a little luck, I’ll have a working faucet and garbage disposal on the brand new sink by the end of the day.
I have conquered the mighty Stuva bench drawer combination. It’s perfect for my kitchen and makes for beautiful banquette seating in the corner.
Stuva bench with Bestad drawer
I can finish my margarita now. Ahhhhhh…
Speaking of Ikea, this has to be one of the funniest commercials I’ve ever seen.
You will never catch this on American TV because in the minds of the prime time censors, we are still sleeping in separate beds. American Ikea commercials never feature S-E-X.
I like to visit Ikea every other month or so. The nearest location is about an hour from my house and it involves the NJ Turnpike so I have to be motivated. But I’ve heard that Ikea can trigger massive arguments in some couples. I don’t understand that. Is it the meandering? The overwhelming marketing overload? Ikea is the only big box store that doesn’t send me running to the nearest bathroom so maybe I’m their target audience. Anyway, I can’t figure out what is causing the problem. If anyone has any insight, let me know.
If I had to pick my favorite purchase from Ikea, it would have to be my Hovas sofa. It’s as comfortable and well constructed as the Pottery Barn sofa that it replaced but cost half as much. Not only that but the slip covers are $49 a set. Also, very nice quality fabric. At $49/set, I can afford to get a couple more sets in white and just dip them in Rit dye when it gets too hard to make them perfectly spotless. So, one sofa, many colors, endlessly changeable. Turquoise, I think I’d like turquoise today…
Not everything I have is Ikea. Some of it is second hand, some refurbished, some Ethan Allen or Pier One or that funny unfinished furniture place in Lawrenceville. But when I need something that will serve a particular function, some basic piece of furniture, I know I can usually find it at Ikea. I just need to think outside the box. And maybe that’s the attraction for me. I like the challenge of repurposing.
Do you have any Ikea stories? Share them in the comments.
Adam Serwer in The Atlantic, "Is Democracy Constitutional? In Moore v. Harper the Supreme Court will decide if anyone besides itself should be able to adjudicate American election law. Every American child in public school learns that the U.S. political system is one of checks and balances, in which the judicial, executive, and legislative branches cons […]