From The Onion:
If you haven’t heard of Donald Mills (aka “Crabby Old Fart”) then you’re missing some really funny stuff. The site is called “The problem with young people today is . . .” and all his posts start with those words. Here’s an example:
The problem with young people today is that they sleep too much.
Back when I was a lad, young people were expected to be up at the crack of dawn every day. And earlier on Sundays. On Sundays, I had to get up in the middle of the night in order to iron my tie for church and still have time to rotate the tires on my old dad’s Packard.
But these young people today, they sleep 14-16-18 hours a day. Wrapped up in their silk sheets, down duvets and king sized beds like giant, swaddled, milk-fed babies while the rest us mine coal, cut down trees and trawl for fish. I didn’t have sheets when I was boy. I had a threadbare gunny sack and a bag of corn I used as a pillow.
It’s disgraceful. No wonder our economy is in the toilet. Half our god damned population can barely muster the energy required to repeatedly smack at the snooze button – let alone get their asses out of bed and look for a job.
The comments are almost as good as the posts themselves:
Mr. Mills. I am duly honored that my lazy assed son prompted such a rant.
Are you still coming over at 8:00 am Monday morning to beat the hell out of him with your cane?
I want to be just like this guy when I grow up. I laughed so hard I had to change my Depends. Unfortunately I wasn’t wearing any.
“Are you an economy with performance issues?”
Stimulis That Makes You Go Mmm-mm-m
“Stimulis” was written and produced by Ted Balaker, and edited by Alex Manning.
[cross-posted from Lady Boomer NYC]