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Tuesday: Let’s keep dancing.

So, here I am, waiting in breathless anticipation of the 200 emails from Clinton’s campaign, leaked by some well meaning campaign staffer who loves her country and only wants what is best for it, ie, a man who spent less time in the senate than most kindergartners spend in their first year of school before he decided he was ready to be president.  And when the sucker finally hits the news stands I’m thinking “This is it?”.  I don’t get it.

Where’s the fire?  Where is the flaming “Oh, $%*&! Unsend!, Unsend! Unsend!” email from Clinton herself?  Where is the email that shows that they were planning to sacrifice to Baal the many babies that were offered up by their all-too-willing parents at campaign events?

There was less panic and self-importance in these emails than you would see from the student director of a high school musical six weeks before the first performance.  “Focus, people!  If we don’t come together as unit, thinking, emoting, tap dancing together as one, what does that say about US and out committment to one another?  We will become nothing but a bunch of selfish individuals throwing up on each other’s shoes at a cast party.  Is that how you want to be remembered?!?!?  I swear to God that if we don’t get it together in the next 24 hours and you don’t show a higher level of committment, I will just walk out on this production.  ”  (Oh, $%@&!  Unsend!, Unsend!, Unsend!)

Jeez, Louise, if this is what passes for disarray these days, I have a bridge The Atlantic might want to buy.  The person who cherry picked these beauties, and who no doubt did it for pure, selfless and patriotic reasons, has no eye for really juicy material.  Where is the snark, the wit?  What these emails say to me is that Clinton failed to hire anyone with that certain flair that would make these emails worth the time it takes to read them.  The seller, er, archivist of these emails has no taste.  She can’t spot the collectible from among the vast body of the ordinary that pass for art these days.

{{sigh}}

I suppose I shall have to go back to waiting in breathless anticipation of Obama’s VP pick, which he is planning to blast to my iPhone at any moment now.

Chime, already, damn it! Chime!

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