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Calm your tits, Donny

It’s just an indictment. No one has found you guilty yet. The trial is months away. Ok, so it’s an indictment on a felony charge. It doesn’t mean you can’t still run for a second term. There isn’t even a clause in the Constitution that you can’t serve another term while you’re serving your sentence in some minimum security prison. You’ll have the secret service to run interference for you although I’m not sure they’re going to like their new work location.

Well, whatever. There’s no reason why you have to go around making offensive comments about the radical left, ie all of us who have been waiting for the slow wheels of justice to grind through the scads of money you’ve been throwing at it to trip it up indefinitely. The radical left, those Americans who want the rule of law to apply to EVERYONE, will work hard and play by the rules and we are grateful that you will also have to play by the rules too.

Just relax. We realize that consequences for your actions are about 72 years late and in your old age it will come as a bit of a shock. Also, it must be unnerving that you will have lost your invincibility cloak and now all your base know that you can be held accountable. Image is everything, amirite? Your superpower is finally meeting its kryptonite. Everyone can see you’re just an ordinary old guy. Maybe your MAGA faithful will start to notice your physical limitations. And the stuff that comes out of your mouth won’t sound so good no more.

We’ll see.

It’s kind of unfortunate that this happened on a school night. Champagne would be nice. But make no mistake. I’m not celebrating because you’ve been indicted. It’s only the first of many indictments from what I can tell.

No, I’m going to celebrate tomorrow evening because the long hard slog of restoring the rule of law in this country is finally starting to bear fruit and we still have hope to stop corrupt politicians from turning the United States of America into a mafia state.

I’ll save the Moet et Chandon and Kool and the Gang until Friday.