A Very Small Flight of Fantasy

Imagine:

Police responding to a tip, entered Donald Trump’s house, and found four unrecognizable hacked bodies, blood everywhere, and a meat cleaver lying next to them.

Immediately there were calls to arrest Trump for murder. Sources close to Trump are claiming that he has been traveling in the last week, and has no idea who the people are, and who killed them. They suggest that it is a put-up job by the same people who created the Russian hoax, and the Ukraine extortion hoax, and the stealing classified and top secret documents hoax.

The bodies are eventually identified as four neighbors of Trump. Trump denies ever meeting them, says he has no idea how they got in the house, maybe they were trying to rob it. Right-wing internet sites note that one of them was a registered Democrat, and speculate that he and the other three men were trying to rob the house, and a good samaritan patriot neighbor heard the noise and rushed in, and in the struggle, the four were killed. Or maybe they all killed each other, as in an inane Rian Johnson script.

Trump is arrested and charged with four counts of murder. He and his attorneys immediately say that this is an outrage, a left-wing socialist plot to stop him from becoming president again. He calls the police department and the district attorney traitors who should be executed.

In the next few days, thirty police officers in different towns are shot, and fifty of the people who attacked them are also shot. Fox News calls them heroes. Trump says that the killing will not stop until all charges are dropped. He remains in his home on two billion dollars bail, which has been paid by his supporters, plus a billion dollars extra to support his causes.

A paper in Trump’s home is found where he wrote about how much he likes cleavers. His news networks say that he was referring to the characters on “Leave it to Beaver,” Ward, June, Wally, and Theodore “Beaver” Cleaver.

Trump demands that all evidence seized be returned to him. He asserts various rights, including Executive Privilege, Droit de Seigneur, Finders Keepers, Your Home Is Your Castle. He says that they all were planted there by Hillary and her agents, and that those that were not planted, were his property. He demands a hearing on this. His people say that what this really amounts to, is “just a dispute about the arrangement of limbs.”

The Judge at the hearing, is Aileen Gannon, the same judge who presided over the hearings on the documents seized by the FBI. Trump backers applaud this, say that she is well acquainted with him, so can rule fairly.

Gannon says that all documents: the cleaver, the blood samples, and papers found in the pockets of the victims. should be reviewed by a neutral party, and all possible defenses should be considered. She orders the police department to stop all investigation of the case until this is decided.

There are calls in the right-wing online sites for Hillary and Bill Clinton to be arrested, Biden to be removed from office, and a full investigation of George Soros. Republicans in the House promise all of that, and say, “That is all we will be doing, investigations. That is our most important priority in the next two years.”

Trump announces his candidacy for President. Fox News says that all proceedings against him must end, because they are prejudicing his potential election. A poll shows that 57% think that the case should continue, 43% think it should end.

Trump has rallies while the case is stalled pending Judge Gannon’s ruling on possession of documents. Republicans in office strongly support him in this matter, and refer to it as a meat cleaver in a teapot. Internet slogans spring up: “Democratic hacks, not cleaver hacks, are what’s wrong with America.” “There will be blood.”

After three hearings, Gannon says that she has appointed Ron DeSantis to rule on who has the right to possess the evidence. Fox News and CNN say that this is very fair. The print media notes that two out of the three major news networks side with Trump, and that America is a democracy, and the majority should rule.

It is then discovered that five more of Trump’s acquaintances have been missing for two months. A story on an underground site suggests that they were also murdered by Trump, and buried in his back yard. But police cannot follow up, because Judge Gannon has not only prohibited any further investigation of the cleaver murders, but any investigation of any criminality attributed to Trump. Her response to critics: “Take it up with the Supreme Court. If we don’t protect President Trump’s rights, who will?”