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Anglo-Saxon style? I’m here for it!

Have you seen the manifesto from the America First Caucus? It wants to return America to its Anglo-Saxon political roots and architectural styles.

Ooo! I can’t wait.

But first, I hope we don’t have to do a 23 and Me test because I’m pretty sure I’d be excluded, though number 1 child did it and says we’re whiter than most Republicans. But you know, it might not be the right kind of white. We’re mostly Irish, Scottish, English and a touch of Jewish. It’s the English part that might disqualify us. Our ancestors came from a part of England that was settled by Vikings. Yep, we’ve got a healthy chunk of Scandinavian in us but it’s the Swedish variety, not the Danish variety.

The Angles came from Denmark and the Saxons to the right of the Netherlands area. That’s totally cool with me. It was Norwegian and Danish Vikings (I guess they are the “good” Vikings”) that also settled Iceland and Iceland was the site of the world’s first parliamentary democracy- the Althing. If we do the parliamentary route, voile! (Or Thwak!) there goes that miserable two party system we’ve been plagued with for 240 years. That right there would be an improvement.

Our Puritan colonists spent a lot of time in the Netherlands to avoid religious persecution back in England. The Netherlands are known for tolerance and assimilation of diverse groups. More than 50% of its population has no religious affiliation. And have you seen their bike lanes? Amazing.

Denmark has one of the strongest social safety nets around and happiest citizenry on earth. The progressives will have a field day.

As for Anglo-Saxon architecture, I look forward to scrapping McMansions for Mead Hall Revival with long smoky hearths and sleeping platforms. Maybe they’ll bring back the shield maiden look. Or the hot blonde guys on horseback. It would be like living in a JRR Tolkien fantasy. I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life!

Let’s hear it for Beowulf!

(Wait. I have the Seamus Heaney translation. Is that allowed?)

Please, someone tell me that the Swedish thing isn’t going to turn into some bureaucratic nightmare.

6 Responses

  1. Very witty! They never think it through, do they?

  2. Again, Beaker Street is on now.

  3. Scandinavian social democracy? Ja!

    Maybe we could hire Bjorn and Benny to write us a less hostile national anthem! 😀

  4. Off topic, but cute. 🙂

  5. “But you know, it might not be the right kind of white.”

    No problem; they really mean “white”, not specifically Anglo-Saxon.

    They just don’t feel quite safe enough (yet) to come out and just say “white”.

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