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Republican Lexicon

This is my attempt at a shorthand guide to quick interpretation of what Republicans really mean when they say something. The key thing to always remember, is that their words are all essentially propagandistic camouflage, meant to sound impressive, and to get people to react in the way that most benefits the speaker, and the Republicans. They have no more inherent meaning than that. I would not be surprised if the Republicans in office were all simulacrums of people, with pre-programmed tapes inside them. The effect is just about the same as if they were robots. Here are some of their words strung together in phrases or sentences, interpreted with their actual meaning.

Let the People Decide: The Republicans don’t want the incumbent Democratic President or Congress to make laws or appoint Supreme Court Justices, they first want another election which they might win.

The Seat Needs to Be Filled: The President is a Republican, so they must strike while they can, before a new President gets to fill the seat.

Original Intent: They have no idea what the original intent was, they have no knowledge of history or context. They just like the particular lines in the Constitution which seem to benefit them, and they argue that you can’t go beyond them. They love the Second Amendment, but skip the first clause, which actually conveys the intent of the Amendment. And never ask them why they think that corporations have any rights, since there is no mention of them in the Constitution, nor of skateboards, television, or two-piece bathing suits.

States’ Rights: The states run by Republicans do not have to follow any laws made by the federal government, if they believe they encroach on the state’s laws. When a state run by a Democrat passes laws that the Republicans don’t like, they immediately file a lawsuit, intending it to go to the Supreme Court, where it will be overturned, because the federal government rules, over Democratic states.

Majority Rule: For states run by Republicans. For states run by Democrats, the rights of the minority must be protected. Also, when they have a majority in Congress, everything goes through, but when the Democrats do, the filibuster is constantly used to keep the majority from ruling.

Activist Judges: Those who overturn state laws passed by Republicans.

Just Following the Law, Not Making the Law.: This is what Republican appointed jurists do, like when they said that corporations are people, or that the Voting Rights Act was no longer necessary,; or that Bush wins over Gore, but that it has no value as precedent, because it would make them look like fools if they tried to make actual precedent out of it.

Mob Violence: Demonstrations by Black people or various White liberals

Mostly Peaceful and Orderly Demonstration with Hugging and Kissing of Police Officers.: What happened at the Capitol on January 6.

Cancel Culture: Liberals trying to get shows taken off the air or movies boycotted.

Protecting People from Pornography or Dangerous Ideas: Republicans trying to ban books, burn albums, or boycott movies.

Freedoms: Those things that matter to you, mostly having all the guns you want, and not having to wear masks during a pandemic.

Anarchy: People not on your side contending that they have the right to demonstrate or protest against what they see as unfair laws which disenfranchise them, or against police officers killing them.

Protecting the Vote: Making sure that no one who will vote against Republicans can vote, without immense travail. Purging the voter rolls every few months, in the hope that poorer people and those without as much free time will not notice, and thus will be banned from voting. Writing state laws which give Republicans the right to overturn any state vote in which Democrats somehow win.

Voting Fraud: The Democrats won an election. They are not supposed to, particularly with all of our efforts to suppress, um, protect the vote. So there must be fraud involved.

The Party of Lincoln. He was likely our greatest president, and he was a Republican, before the parties realigned about 140 years ago. So even though Lincoln would unquestionably be a Democrat today, they need to use him for cachet.

Religious People: Republicans

Radicals, Atheists, Anarchists: Democrats

Globalists; People who do not believe in unfettered American capitalism which does not want to ally with any of the rest of the world.

What About the Deficit?: Democrats are in office, passing bills with spending in them

Deficits Don’t Matter: Republicans are in office, passing tax cuts for the wealthy

The Tax Cuts Will Pay for Themselves: They’ve actually stopped staying that, because too many people now realize that it is never true. So now they just pretend that they are also cutting the taxes of the non-rich, which they are not.

Taking Our Country Back: Getting it away from the minorities and the rabble. Going back to a combination of the Antebellum South and the Gilded Age.

Crisis at the Border: A good distraction, plus a chance to attack immigrants.

Elections Have Consequences: We won, so we can do anything we want.

There Are Many Questions About the Validity of the Election: We lost.

The Liberal Media: One of our most effective labels, we use it every chance we get; once things get in people’s heads, they become an easy button to push when we need it. Actually just about all the media is owned by the Far Right, but we don’t have to tell the suckers that.

Indoctrination: What we do, while we tell them the liberals are doing it.

Liberals: Anyone who is not us; people we want to defeat in elections and take power from. You’re either one of us, or you are a liberal. It implies that you allow anything, from hardcore sex films, to philosophy books, to music which criticizes us, to teaching evolution in school.

There You Go Again: Means absolutely nothing, but one of our people told Reagan to keep saying it, and the media loved it.

Thoughts and Prayers: Our only response to mass shootings. We say it the same way every time, same intonation, same phony seriousness. That’s all you are going to get from us, now let’s change the subject.

I’m Not a Scientist: Therefore, I do not have to respond to any questions about climate change, or the pandemic, or anything which involves any aspect of science. You can’t ask me about any of that, and since I am not a scientist I am not responsible for any of it, or doing anything about it.

I Didn’t Have the Opportunity To Read It: Anything that makes the head of our party, or anyone in it, look bad, I’ll just say that I didn’t read it; I was busy, therefore I cannot comment. Now, excuse me, I have a lunch appointment.

I Never Said That: I did, but so what, what are you going to do about it? I’ll just keep denying if. Even if you have a tape or transcript, I’ll just say that you took it out of context. Go bother the Democrats, I am going to get a haircut.

3 Responses

  1. The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce could use this as a supplement!

  2. Excellent lexicon, Wills.

    I have an appropriate MP, but TurdPress won’t let me post links of any sort on your threads.

    Our domestic fat cats, their hired GQP politicians and propagandists, and even Vladimir Putin and his minions, would be helpless–if not for the loyal horde of white peasants who are always willing to forgive their lords and barons their transgressions, as long as the lords and barons keep those uppity non-white peasants in even lower status.

    I would insert the Davis X. Machina quote about reactionaries cooking sparrows on curtain rods, but it’s also a link. TurdPress sucks fermenting goat mucus.

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