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DeJoyless.

I ordered some socks from amazon about a week ago. I should have looked at the ETA before I placed the order. It doesn’t look like it was a Prime item. Anyway, the order was placed and the arrival date was somewhere between February 17-24. In the year 2021.

It was my hope that I could wear them in the hospital. They’re over the knee socks so I wouldn’t feel more undressed than necessary in my hospital gown. But with this delivery date, I’ll be home long before the socks arrive.

Ok, so I’m thinking that they are made on some remote island in the North Atlantic and first they need to shear the sheep, spin the wool, dye the wool and then knit the socks so that they are ready for the boat that comes once every two weeks to pick up items and leave off medicine and other supplies.

My mind wandered a bit on a excursion around the world to find this remote place. Did they still speak an archaic dialect of Old Norse? What kind of folk dress do they wear? Is their diet limited to salt cod and lingonberries? How many months out of the year do they not see the sun above the horizon and do they toil at their looms by the shimmering light of the aurora borealis? Such were my transports of fancy I resolved to content myself with as I awaited my cable knit over the knee socks in black, navy blue and gray.

But yesterday, when I went to check on another amazon order, I accidentally clicked on the sock order and discovered that they weren’t sitting in a small weatherbeaten shed on a dock of a small remote island, wrapped up in brown paper tied with twine.

No, indeed. They were sitting in some utilitarian USPS distribution center in the strip district of Pittsburgh, probably lying in a heap under a metric ton of other packages.

I could walk to that distribution center and retrieve my package in a few hours. Nevertheless, I will be forced to wait until sometime in the middle of next week to get my socks. Because that’s when the delivery is scheduled and no amount of bewilderment and impatience on my part appears to be able to move it. The socks arrived there yesterday in the early hours of the morning and they haven’t gone out for delivery. They are paused, stuck in some Schrodinger’s quasi existence, close enough for me to almost touch them and simultaneously as far away as a tiny island in the Svalbard archipelago.

Trump is gone but his f#%^ed up postal system is still with us.

4 Responses

  1. The Postal Service governing board needs to be replaced. Something easier said, than done. Only then, can the Postmaster General be replaced.
    However, it appears our Democratic representatives in DC are on it.

  2. RD, I was lost in your socks’ origin story. Perhaps you can write a novel when you are recuperating with a chapter or two written during your drug induced haze????? Or perhaps an Austenesque romantic tale with tons of witty dialogue where women won’t back or bow down for any man. I’d buy it!

  3. This is just another bit of crap we have to put up with because for 40+ years the GOP (now really the GQP) have decided that only they can control things.

  4. Re the slow mail: I had an Amazon package stuck for almost 2weeks in VA. Took 2 days once it left VA. That was 2 weeks ago, and I guess I have little faith in the post office. We need a big overhaul.
    Good luck, RD.

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