Wut?!?

A little more from the WaPo article on the Michigan Wayne County canvasser:

Palmer said she and Hartmann had been concerned since the primary vote last summer that a number of precincts were out of balance. She said she never believed that corrections, which were made in some precincts, would change the vote totals in the county or the state in a way that would upend the victory for Biden, who carried Michigan by nearly 150,000 votes.

As the judge in PA said to the Trump campaign who claimed they were prevented from witnessing the count even though they had a non-zero number of monitors in the counting room:

“I’m sorry, then what is the problem?”

If the clerical errors were easily fixable and not going to change the election results and Biden won Wayne County by a non-zero number of 150,000 votes, then why put your reputation on the line and refuse to certify the results in the first place?

I think Republicans are underestimating the degree to which voters are tired of Donald Trump’s temper tantrum, although death threats are never acceptable (but do we know who made them?).

Regardless, it is very, VERY inappropriate for the outgoing president who lost the election to make a phone call to a canvasser after she decided to change her vote to certify. Some would call that a conflict of interest and election interference, no matter what Donald Trump said to her. Some would say that. Probably no one on the Republican side of the aisle but some regular Americans would surely find it objectionable. Especially any voter in danger of having their legally cast mail in ballot cancelled by a Republican canvasser under pressure.

Yeah, just really stupid, Monica.

Is anyone else sick of Donald’s fit? Is it time we block his cell phone signal and make him use the White House switchboard?

Jeez, you can never turn your back on this party for even a second.

Hey, Noah, build me an Ark

So, I found this (thanks Suburban Guerilla):

Western Pa state Sen Camera Bartolotta (R-Monongahela) musing about how we need all restaurants to stay open because “the creation of our country started at pubs in merry old England” https://t.co/gegaqd4spu

— Ryan Deto (@RyanDeto) November 19, 2020

It reminds me of the Noah story in the Bible. Remember? Noah spent most of the year building an Ark out of masks because God told him a flood was coming? But so many people made fun of Noah for being all “righteous”. Noah, went right on building that Ark and probably did afternoon press conferences where he stood on a rock in a long robe and his ratty beard and his human microphone of his immediate family only and belted out the warning God gave him. And the people went, “FLOOD, flood, FLOOD, flood, FLOOD, FlOoD!!!”

Then they laughed and walked away and slapped each other on the backs as they went into what was the equivalent of a bar back then to drink some “Sumerian Queen Ale made of slow roasted ancient grains, grown in the Anatolian sunshine in the land between the rivers and kissed by a touch of honey”. I’ll have a growler of that.

Noah despaired that all of those poor people were going to die and by the time they realized it, god would have to shut down the bars and temple prostitute private stalls -again- but the people did not listen.

So they drank and ate and fist bumped and did that kiss on both cheeks that freaks out Americans anyway and generally made asses out of themselves about how no stupid God was going to tell them what to do and there was no such thing as a great flood and that it’s all FAKE PROPHECY!!! MUGA!! (Make Ur Great Again).

Then the rains came. At first it was off and on. There were a few weeks where everyone had to stay home and teach their kids how to write on those squishy cuneiform tablets with the new styluses and the wife started losing her mind about how everyone was tracking mud in the hut and didn’t anyone wipe their feet anymore and I swear to Baal, if I have to slaughter and butcher one more lamb instead of making reservations again I’m going to scream. Damn, that Noah, damn him!

Where was a patriarch supposed to find some peace and quiet anymore what with the inns all closed??

As soon as those first sprinkles were over, the MUGA crowd went out and laughed at Noah and shook Japheth down for his lunch drachmas and did not build themselves even so much as a dinghy made of masks.

Then the rains came in earnest and it rained and rained and rained. And pretty soon, everyone knew someone who had died but the false gods whispered in their ears that they had died of suffocating comorbidities, not drowning. So they partied more and opened up NEW bars featuring “Marduk’s Scat Stout” made with … well, you don’t want to know. And they defiantly went out to more temple prostitute stalls and inns even while Noah said, “I wouldn’t do that it I were you”.

Anyway, it didn’t end well. The scribes had a hard time keeping up what with recording the fatalities and nothing but a pile of clay tablets repetitively defiled by lines of single wedges. But the good thing is they convened a symposium on the new field of numbers. They met in improvised covered mask boats and periodically issued press releases on the benefits of mask arks but that they had come to an impasse on the precise definition and length of a cubitt.

Meanwhile, Noah looked sadly at the people drowning and dying and the people’s representatives held press conferences where they exhorted the people to defy the rain and drink more beer like the Anunaki did in Merry Olde England. No need to wear themselves out with worry and mask raft building. And Noah prophesied that it was going to be a long, very expensive cleanup but that they brought it on themselves because they would not wear a mask and build an ark of their own.

Oh, yeah, there was a rainbow, courtesy of Pfizer and Moderna. They were quickly promoted to demigod status. But many people did not live to see it.

2020 Republicans of Merit

Roll credits:

1. Brad Raffensperger, Georgia’s Secretary of State *

That’s it. That’s all I got.

* Appearance on this list does not imply endorsement of the Republican Party nor does it indicate that Mr. Raffensperger is a Democrat, knows Democrats or includes Democrats as personal friends. We can be fairly certain that we would find Brad’s opinions on many topics to be odious. However, he appears to have put country before party in this one case so he deserves recognition but not a “schwing!” What Mr. Raffensperger has done shouldn’t be remarkable and yet, here we are, calling it out, because it is so rare in 2020.

Sorry about that, Brad. We hope the death threats stop.

*************

We are learning a little more about why Giuliani wants to throw out ALL of the mail in ballots from 7 counties:

Giuliani argued all mail-in ballots from seven democratic counties, including Allegheny County, should be disqualified and not counted.

“Mail-in ballots are exceptionally dangerous…We weren’t allowed to observe absentee ballot counting…There were 1.5 million absentee ballots that Republicans could not see…This is an outrage…They stole an election,” said Giuliani.

Well, that makes more sense than the other objections I’ve heard about mail in ballots. Apparently, it’s an insult to black voters to assume they are mentally or physically incapable of using their polling locations. Like I said, I’m not sure I’m buying it… nah, not working for me.

It’s about *choices*, Trump nuggets. We have the freedom to choose how we want to vote and now that we have legit paper trails with mail ins, coupled with the freedom from standing in hours long lines and exposure to Covid, this seemed to be a rational choice expressed by hundreds of thousands of people in those 7 counties and some of us aren’t even black.

Soooo… there’s that.

But the weirdest thing is, I never even considered how dangerous my mail in ballot was. I had no idea that they could spontaneously combust and people could be disfigured. Why didn’t anyone tell me?? Why didn’t they send asbestos gloves and blast shields with them? I feel like my trust has been violated. Voting by mail is all fun and games until somebody loses an eye. There should be black box labels on those things or a PSA from the surgeon general.

Warning: voting by mail is a dangerous activity by reprobates who enjoy risk taking behavior. Side effects include maiming, mutilation and possible death. Studies have shown that people who vote by mail are, um, well, actually, we’re just making shit up. There are no studies. It’s just pieces of paper with words on it and little circles to be completed in blue or black ink. Or sharpies. Turns out there’s nothing wrong with sharpies. Sorry for the misdirect. Alright, you know what? Forget we mentioned it.

🙄

But it’s absolutely unforgivable that the Republican monitors weren’t able to see what was going on with a non-zero number of representatives standing 6ft away and using binoculars.

Just sad, really.

Rudy Giuliani wants to cancel my vote because why… exactly?

Judge Matthew Brann asks the Trump team: “At bottom, you’re asking this court to invalidate more than 6.8m votes, thereby disenfranchising every single voter in the commonwealth. Can you tell me how this result can possibly be justified?”

— Jon Swaine (@jonswaine) November 17, 2020

It’s not that any of the ballots are fraudulent. It’s just that we voted for the wrong person. If only someone had told us ahead of time.

Look, they’re not going to get away with this. If they somehow make their “there are no bones in ice cream therefore the ballots must go” argument work, they will trigger some massive reaction. I’m not sure what form of reaction that would take but wouldn’t recommend it.

It’s redundant to call Trump infantile. Oh, sure, he’s not much of a man if he can’t take it when 75,000,000 people tell him “no”. It’s just in this case, he is determined to make us submit, just like any bully beating up people in order to own the playground.

He will not get away with it.

Patchouli and Chocolate Sauce

It’s the five or six million extra, unnecessary ballots that are unconstitutional. Superfluous. Inefficient. What kind of nation are we that we permit so much excessive, irrationally exuberant voting? It’s a disgrace.

I’m a lawyer for the Trump campaign pic.twitter.com/19YFlU8qDg

— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) November 16, 2020

BTW, who vetted the Georgia Secretary of State before he was appointed? Is it too late to find a Tobin and Squi problem for him?

He’s simply not taking direction and getting rid of the excess Biden and Ossoff votes. We never had this problem with Kemp. Someone needs to get on that. What’s Rudy doing these days?

***********

Off Topic:

I’m not a royal watcher. You won’t find any teacups decorated with images of William and Kate’s wedding in my house or anything. But I am a fan of The Crown. It gives you real insight into just how difficult it is to be the complete antithesis of Donald Trump. Queen Elizabeth would be much happier in the country stalking deer and raising horses and dogs. She’s not flashy or fashionable. She has a healthy ego but not an overbearing one. And she’s definitely not emotive, to a fault. Her whole life has been dedicated to the service of her country. In a way, she’s taken great pains to erase herself and become a symbol of stability, fortitude and perseverance.

Ok, that was off, off topic. This aside is not about the Queen.

Like I said, I’m not a Royal watcher. But this season, The Crown introduces us to Diana. I’ve had to put aside the fact that Charles and Diana were famous and just be open to the story. And after binge watching the season, I’ve come to one conclusion: Prince Charles is a gigantic asshole and Camilla is a selfish, manipulative narcissist. No, no, don’t talk me out of this feeling. I want to savor it for awhile. That doesn’t mean that Diana was faultless. She wasn’t. Mostly, she was just really young and her youth was cut off before she had a chance to experience anything. She wasn’t so much married to Charles as she was hired for a very demanding job after a brilliant interview.

It’s too her credit that she recognized that Charles was in love with someone else and tried on more than one occasion to call off that wedding spectacle.

Whatever happened between the three of them, I found myself loathing Charles and Camilla every time they hypocritically found an opportunity to snog each other. The courtiers and servants covered it all up. Diana was earnest to a fault and sincerely believed time after time that she could make things better by being a better person. It never worked. He hated her by the end of it all but in part this was due to Camilla’s posh voice in his ears for years and years.

Anyway, I just thought I’d get that off my chest. Charles and Camilla are thoroughly unlikeable. I’m just surprised that William and Harry can stand to be around them. It appears that William takes after his grandmother in that respect. We’ll never really know how he feels about it. It’s not in the job description.

How to survive an autocratic breakthrough? F}#% if I know.

See Masha Gessen for analysis:

HA! You probably thought we could just drag him out of the White House by the hair. I think it’s all starting to dawn on us that the Republican Party leadership is going to let this go on indefinitely even though Trump was defeated and can’t get undefeated. Gessen talks about vertical alignment and what that means to the rest of us.

It’s not a good thing.

*************

Meanwhile, Moderna has posted some very good news on a Covid vaccine:

https://twitter.com/dereklowe/status/1328329134452461569?s=21

More good news:

I went looking for a sink to kinda restore my 1950’s bathroom to its sort of original style, minus the colored tile. I’ve been looking for months and months. The ones I saw online were all colored pink or blue or green or had some kind of fatal flaw.

So yesterday, I went to Construction Junction in Pittsburgh to see if I could find what I was looking for. I looked a dozens of old sinks and was just about to give up when I just casually gave a second look to one I had passed over initially because it looked like it was attached to one of those ugly oak vanities that I’m trying to replace and all of the sudden, the light shone upon it and choirs of angels started to sing like the grail beacon in the Monty Python movie. I had found it.

It’s pristine, it’s white, it’s the right year, shape, size, everything. How much was it?

$5.00.

That’s right, you can get a better than now sink in perfect condition for next to nothing. Architectural and salvage reuse stores are amazing.

Well, it was one good thing to happen in 2020. Everything else lately has kind of been suboptimal.

Adulation Addict

This happened:

President Donald J Trump just drove by at the #MarchForTrump https://t.co/OblyNwlybz

— The American Girl (@TheAmericanGrl) November 14, 2020

When a scene like this makes it into a movie, we assume that it’s gratuitous exaggeration of a character flaw that prepares the audience for some upcoming denouement. It’s not supposed to be real.

Script writers will have an abundance of material to work with in the future.

They’ll probably have to tone it down.

*********

Word is that he was on his way to play golf.

😅😂🤣🙄😅🤣🙄😅😂😅😂

Election 2020: it’s a wrap.

All the remaining states are called:

Donald is going to have to overthrow the government in several states simultaneously to get it to flip his way. Ain’t gonna happen.

So, now that there is ZERO doubt about who the winner is, prolonging the White House hostage crisis, and not taking a stand against it, should be regarded as a hostile act against the American people.

That’s not an exaggeration or hyperbole. Now is the time for that walk up to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Order the Pods, cancel the cable bill, and remove any sharp objects.

Oh, and change the nuclear football code. We don’t want Philly and Pittsburgh to become smoldering cinders.

Cue the music. It’s Friday.

Friday the 13th, 2020

Looks like it’s a bad day for the Trumps. Arizona called it, Biden increased his lead in PA to 60,000 votes, Trump’s law firm representing his nuisance claims against the voters have bails on him, Charles Koch has congratulated Joe and Kamala and…

Duhn, duhn, duhhhhn…

NY Magazine is reporting:

BREAKING: A Trump insider has told NY Magazine that Trump is "out of money and worried about being arrested".

— Heidi Krassenstein (@ALampoonLedger) November 13, 2020

(Reported in multiple tweets, therefore, it must be true.🙄)

Just because this story appears to be entirely believable to those of us who have been watching Donald escape accountability all his life, that doesn’t mean it’s true. It could be that he’s floating a trial balloon to see if he can make a deal to stop the White House hostage crisis in exchange for a pardon or immunity or simply a one way ticket to the Cayman Islands where he can live out the rest of his days with an ankle bracelet.

IDK.

But it sounds promising.

Because his chances of overthrowing the election just got smaller. A lot smaller. He’s running out of options, money and time.

Poor Donald. He gets blamed for everything he does.

The White House hostage crisis: day 6

Arizona has *finally* called it for Joe Biden. He’s up to 290 electoral college votes.

By the way, congratulations to Mark Kelly, husband of former congresswoman Gabby Giffords, who now goes to Washington as Arizona’s senator. Kelly is a former astronaut and now new Democratic senator, which makes him a bit of a smarty pants, overachiever that Trumpers appreciate so much. 🙄

Oh and congratulations to newly elected Democratic Senator John Hickenlooper from the great state of Colorado who beat Republican Cory Gardner. So we picked up two, lost one in Alabama, and have the opportunity to pick up two more in Georgia. It. Could. Work! That would make Kamala Harris the tie breaker in the Senate. That means Mitch McConnell would be relegated to the role of just another senator!

But what’s this I hear? The Georgia Republican Party and its congressional delegation are attacking their own GA Secretary of State alleging voter fraud lost them the top of the ticket? Funny how voter fraud in Georgia *stops* with the top of the ticket, and probably the two senate candidates but somehow doesn’t affect down ballot congressional races. Unfortunately, almost but not quite half of the voters in Georgia will need to see this drawn out on a white board in little stick figures before they get it.

In the meantime, out going president Trump, is still holding the White House and the rest of the government hostage because, get this, he claims his monitors were not able to watch the vote count in Pennsylvania.

😅😂🤣😂😅🤣😂😅😅😂🤣

You can definitely tell where voters are getting their news when they recite this ridiculous claim. “I don’t get my news only from Fox. I have a variety of news sources.” Hmmm… do your news sources also include the transcripts from the court where RNC lawyers presented their nonsensical claims?

These are too good:

The most famous scene came in Pennsylvania, where a Trump lawyer strained to avoid acknowledging that their people were, in fact, allowed to observe the vote-counting process in Philadelphia:At the city’s federal courthouse on Thursday evening, attorneys for Trump asked a judge to issue an emergency order to stop the count, alleging that all Republican observers had been barred.Under sharp questioning from Judge Paul S. Diamond, however, they conceded that Trump in fact had “a nonzero number of people in the room,” leaving Diamond audibly exasperated.“I’m sorry, then what’s your problem?” asked Diamond, who was appointed to the federal bench by President George W. Bush. Denying Trump’s request, Diamond struck a deal for 60 observers from each party to be allowed inside.At one point on Friday afternoon, 12 Republican observers and five Democrats were watching the count, according to a ballot counter who was working.

After that “nonzero” answer, Diamond pressed the Trump campaign lawyer to be more explicit — and he suggestively invoked their standing with the bar: “I’m asking you as a member of the bar of this court: Are people representing the plaintiffs in the room?” The lawyer responded more directly: “Yes.” By the end of the hearing, Diamond invoked his right to make sure lawyers in his courtroom acted in good faith.

The transcript from one of Trump’s legal challenges is fascinating. The judge trying to get to the bottom of whether they WERE allowed to have observers:

Judge : “Are your observers in the counting room?”

Trump lawyer: "There's a non-zero number of people in the room.” pic.twitter.com/CU4VbqIfj4

— Man vs Baby (@mattcoyney) November 6, 2020

See, if you get all your news from Fox, you miss all of this comedy gold. There are even reports of some Trump monitors using binoculars in the counting room. That’s right, only the Trump counters needed binoculars, every one else could see what was going on. Nevertheless, the state of PA let the babies have their way to get as close as 6 feet from the counters. Close enough to breathe coronavirus on the poll worker volunteer. “Nice set of healthy lungs you got there. Be a shame if anything happened to them.” Oh, sure, everybody is wearing a mask but spending that much time that close to other people in a confined space clearly violates CDC guidelines, which is probably why the Trump counters specifically asked for it. We have already seen that Trumplicans have complete disregard for the safety of others when it comes to Coronavirus.

Anyway, it’s really too bad that Trump voters are buying the mockingly stupid voter fraud “I CAN’T SEE THE COUNTING EVEN WITH MY BINOCULARS AND ACCESS TO THE VIDEO FEED!!” claims of the Trump monitors. It takes away another opportunity to share the humor and potential retrospective satire of future SNL skits. It could have united us in our communal embarrassment of Trump’s image on the national and international stage. As it is, 75 MILLION of us are laughing ourselves blue over the red faced humorless anger of the other 70 million whose brains are wired to Sean Hannity’s butt.

“I’m not getting all my news from Fox and Hugh Hewitt!” my ass. 🙄

They don’t have to get their news from Fox and OANN. It’s a lifestyle choice. No one is born with the attraction to pathological liars. They chose to get their “news” from sources that don’t tell the truth; we choose to ridicule them relentlessly for it until they actually start broadening their horizons.

Kumbaya.