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    • Hope Is Bullshit
      I am unintersted in “hope.” Or as we called it in the Obama bullshit years, Hopium. Hope is not a plan. Hope is bullshit. Luck is real, but you don’t count on luck other than in the sense that the harder you work, and the more things you do, the more likely you are to […]
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Jeezus tap dancin’ Christ, impeachment hearings are NOT that hard to justify.

I just heard a politician on my earbuds doing the “on the one hand, on the other hand”, mealy mouthed shuffle about how it’s our constitutional responsibility to do this and there sure seems to be plenty of cause but “I’m not there yet” crap.

Please. I swear Democrats need a massive, brain rattling dope slap. Where are my leather thigh highs??

Look, we got it. You don’t want to look political. You don’t want to lose seats next year. You wish that people would just read the Mueller Report.

Ain’t nobody got time for that. You’re more likely to get them to pay attention if you re-enact it on Drunk History. Or get Benioff and Weiss to adapt it for HBO and get Miguel Sapochnick to direct an episode. You’ll have a zillion explainers on YouTube reading that thing obsessively and trying to piece together what’s behind the redaction bars like they’re Melissandre’s prophecies. We would be riveted.

In the meantime, there is a perfectly sane, non-political argument for starting impeachment hearings, even if, and I sincerely mean this, the senate decides to never even go to trial once the articles are written up.

Mueller told us why.

The 2016 elections were manipulated by a hostile foreign power and every American should pay attention to that part of the report.

Because it’s going to happen again.

I can’t think of any American of any party, Democrat, Republican, libertarian or FullyRawCannibal, who thinks it’s noble thing to lose the ability to actually choose the buffoon you want to run the country. No one likes the prospect of no choice. And they are going to be livid if Jill Stein becomes president due to the hacking stylings of Hillsborough High School’s Coding Club.

Donald Trump is not the President I would have chosen. Heck, for all I know, he might not actually be president. At this point, the Republicans are never going to vote to convict him unless they fear they’re going to lose their seats. They’re having way too many erections playing with the virtually unlimited power they have. But if they’re not afraid of losing in 2020, we have a right to know why they’re so damn fearless. It might be misplaced confidence for all we know.

Maybe we should all be concerned about what chaos might ensue in the wake of the 2020 elections. Our enemies would love for our country to descend into Westerosi factional fighting that ruins our economy and goes on for years.

I’d be surprised if a case can’t be made that we need to get to the bottom of what the Russians did to us so no one else can do it either.

Please stop dancing on the head of a pin and just call the roll.