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Biggus Dickus

Jeff Bezos, aka “The Richest Man in the World” and owner of The Washington Post, struck a blow against AMI, the parent company of the National Enquirer yesterday. He outted the tabloid for trying to blackmail him with intercepted sext pics between himself and his girlfriend Lauren Sanchez.

Jeff was having none of it. If the title of The World’s Richest Man doesn’t guard you from personal exposure, I don’t know what does. I mean seriously, Bezos is going to actually get so embarrassed by some dick pics and hot chicky baby shots that he’s going to become a broken man and do whatever David Pecker tells him to do? Does he look like Lindsay Graham?? No. He does not. Jeff can just buy his own country and live out the rest of his life in luxury. It’s not like courtiers are suddenly going to stop sucking up to him.

This extortion move is so stupid, kludgy and short sighted that it almost feels like Donald Trump’s sticky little fingers are all over it.

But the reason that AMI threatened Jeff is much more troubling and could have serious implications. The thing that got Jeff on AMI’s extortion list is that Jeff and his security consultant, Gavin de Becker, started to investigate how AMI got the texts in the first place. His phone wasn’t hacked. That means that whoever got the texts was an entity sophisticated enough to intercept the transmissions. Or penetrate the cloud. It is suspected that a foreign country did this. Possibly it was Mossad from Israel or Britain’s MI6. That last one seems improbable though. Why would Britain want to intercept Jeff Bezos? Was it the Prime membership increase? I only ask.

Here’s the really big deal. No one knows how the intercept happened. What freaks me out in an indirect way is that Amazon is one of the world’s biggest cloud service providers. Now, I’m not saying that anything bad is going to happen to your data or your zillion compound library that is busily docking into all of the receptor sites in the pdb. But the possibility that someone who can intercept Jeff Bezos’ iPhone transmissions and get away with it is very frightening when it comes to what else could be intercepted. Should we all be concerned?

Back when I was in R&D, oh those many years ago, I looked into cloud computing on behalf of my comp chem group. I sat in on a seminar by a security expert at a proteins conference. A company like a pharma doesn’t always want to upgrade its hardware to run simulations and docking experiments but it could put billions of dollars worth of data at risk by running calculations in an insecure cloud environment. Could the R&D community trust that the data would be safe? According to the speaker, Amazon was supposed to have the gold standard in terms of data security. Its security specialists rivaled or exceeded our own government national security experts.

But now we see that even Bezos’ dick pics aren’t safe. Yes, a phone intercept is one thing. The interception of thousands of businesses data is something much much bigger. I’m not suggesting that such a thing has happened or is possible. I’m just extremely troubled by the proximity of this breach of privacy to Amazon’s cloud service.

I hope de Becker and Bezos knows who did it and I’m betting dollars to donuts that Donald Trump knows too.

We are headed into uncharted territory, oh best beloveds. All the ugly things are about to hatch out and there are some desperate parties who will try just about anything to keep from being exposed. It feels like anything can happen. Scary.

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