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SOTU Pregame Show

I don’t know what else to call it.

Will Donald try to bite back in public and attack Democrats in every other sentence?

Will Democrats just sit back and take it as all the tut-tutters have been telling them this morning. “Yes, he’s going to fling feces at you from the podium in subtle and not so subtle ways. Maintain your decorum anyway. You are not allowed to get angry. Nay, even if he is symbolically flinging poo at every one of the voters that sent you there. Do not break a sweat.”

That’s going to be difficult.

One thing I’ve heard over and over again this am is just what an entertainer Trump is. Gosh, I would love to see him on a unicycle spinning Melania on his head as he cycles over a titerope. Who’s with me here? I think that’s something we can all get behind. Why should the president keep all these talents hidden?

But is the House of Representatives and Joint Session of Congress really the right setting for Donald’s Erzatz Cirque Du Soleil? Surely, the Sergeant at Arm’s has something to say about titeropes and First Ladies in full torque.

Will there be a declaration of a national emergency? (I suspect the markets would object). Will he strip naked and body surf the teleprompters? Get the bleach, Ethel!!

More likely, he will read his speech like a third grader, one that he wrote himself with all the “tremendous” and “fantastic” accomplishments he’s accomplished during Executive Time.

Then we’ll get the real SOTU from Stacy Abrams our Happy Medium and we will feel like we can get through another day until…

Bernie gets on and yells at all of us.

Got any better predictions? Leave them in the comments.

Addendum: I have heard it said that the best antidote to abnormal Trumpian behavior is to model normal behavior. And I applaud in advance anyone who wants to go that route. But it only works if the abnormality is exposed before it is corrected. I don’t know what that will look like but I’m interested in some creativity here. And professional game consultants would probably be worth the money.