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Does Central NJ exist?

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen about central NJ. I lived there for 23 years and it’s all true. The most mystical thing about Central NJ is the way my cell phone used to go dead as I passed through Princeton. The telecoms had a firm dividing line leaving some parts of central NJ as a dead zone. Angie’s List doesn’t cover central NJ. Yep, my subscription was useless. Other interesting fact: there is no local news in NJ. You either get your news from Philly or NYC. You HAVE to choose. Central NJ does exist. For the record, it’s tentatively aligned with NYC. But NY shouldn’t get cocky about it.

More interesting facts about Central NJ:

It’s the definition of suburbia. There is nothing rockin’ about it. My former resident Millenial had to go to Wayne for rock, or whatever it was she called it.

There’s a natural geological feature that runs roughly from Lawrenceville to South Brunswick called the terminal moraine. The telecoms seem to have used this feature as their signal cutoff point.

When it rains hard enough, you can’t cross from south to north NJ and parts of central NJ become bathtubs, especially those towns bordering the Raritan river including the misnamed Bound Brook where the brook refuses to remain bound.


20 Responses

  1. NJ has a special place in my heart. My very first American friend at UVA in the second year (of even being here in this country) was from NJ and she was kind and friendly and treated me like everyone else when others were snobbish and just ignored my existence and perhaps wished I would go away.

    • I’m not at all surprised. There’s a strong Chinese and south Asian presence in Central NJ. Everybody just gets along.
      Ain’t nobody got time for that Trumpism sh*t.

      • There are a lot more Trumpkins in Central NJ than you might think. Perhaps not where you used to live, but there are infestations in towns near us.

        Roz in NJ/NYC

        • Now that is what sane/decent people would call “infestations”. Thank you!

        • Nothing would surprise me. A lot of central nj voted like lemmings. But I worked in pharma R&D and it’s very diverse.

  2. I don’t like Colbert and have never watched his show. But since I live in Central Jersey, I watched the video. Cute.

    Our house is in Marlboro (Western Monmouth County). We’ve been living there for nearly 50 years.

    You are wrong when you say there is no “local” news station. There is NJ12 which also has a separate NJ traffic-and-weather channel. Also, NJ’s PBS station has some news programs specifically about what’s happening in NJ.

    Note: Both my husband and I were born and grew up in NYC. We’ve had an apartment in Manhattan for 20 years.

    Roz in NJ/NYC

    • I stand corrected. I don’t think I ever watched NJ12.

      • Actually, I don’t watch it except occasionally for the weather report.

        Roz in NJ/NYC

        • Actually, I’ve never had pork roll at the diner. Seriously. I never knew if Taylor Ham was the same thing and I didn’t want to look like a furriner. So I just asked for the geeek omelet.

          • I’ve never had “Taylor pork” (to quote our esteemed governor). Period.

            On one of the food forums on which I participate, there was a thread on the NJ board about Taylor Ham vs. pork roll. There is a huge Central NJ contingent, and every one of them called it pork roll.

            Roz in NJ/NYC

          • Ok, so the guy I worked with who introduced me to the concept of Taylor Ham was a South NJ person who was living in central jersey. He told me it is officially Taylor ham but everyone calls it pork roll. I used to see it on the menu at the local diner as Taylor Ham but I think if you order it, you’re supposed to call it pork roll.
            Anyway, here in Pittsburgh, no one eats bologna. It’s Jumbo. I have no idea why but if you ask the deli for bologna, they’ll give you the “you’re not from around here are you?” Look.
            Also, we have a substance called “chipped ham”. Imagine a less lean variety of pork roll sliced razor thin and piled up on top of a hamburger bun. Sometimes presoaked in bbq sauce. Just a little tip from a latent yinzer.

          • Btw, I miss my proximity to the city. I used to catch the train from Somerville station. But living in central NJ with so many suburban developments and identical people who live there where I was definitely an anomaly? Yeah, that I don’t miss so much. And the traffic. I don’t miss that either. The traffic in Pittsburgh is light compared to NJ and I’ve gotteb used to the long red lights. When I first moved back, It was difficult to sit at a red light without me ready to hit the accelerator a nanosecond after it turned green. I don’t do that now.

  3. Don’t get me started on traffic in our area! Route 9N/S can be a nightmare. At certain times of the day, I avoid particular sections like the proverbial plague and take back roads.

    We don’t take public transportation to NYC. We drive and time going in and coming back to when traffic tends to be light. (Yes, that’s possible!) Door-to-door, it’s about an hour or a bit more. Whenever possible, we grab free street parking. Otherwise, our building has a garage.

    Roz in NJ/NYC

  4. there are some big, hidden forces behind trump. Seems like he is a puppet to many different malevolent forces. Who are they and what are they doing to America?

  5. Off topic. 😛

    And now a few words from the Swedish Chef:

    Yjey bork bork derr skjorbjdyrgjy doo yey borg de spyrngderngbyrng yoo BORK BORK BORK!

    Esbjy birgjy dirgjy de Kirstjen Nielsjen. Hjrdjmjrjuk de faskjst bjtsk. Und hjr bossen de Dynyld Troomp ejs de fjukken trjajtor fyr fjukken Ruskya.

    Fjukken djem allen!

  6. Love Ted Lieu and the whole CA delegation in congress is smart, dedicated and articulate.

  7. Trump Chump farmer has lost $250K off his farm’s value (so far):

    “Madoka damn it, when I voted for the Leopards Eating Human Faces Party, I never dreamed a leopard might eat MY face!”

    All together now: “WOMP, WOMP!” 😈

    • Well, maybe he will learn something. Hillary tried to warn them but they did not want to listen. They were too taken with the false promises of prosperity and nationalism.

      • I hope that you are correct, but I have come to despair of the ability of a sufficient number of Stupid White Folks (or as we call them around here, “cr@wd@ds” 😈 ) to wise up.

      • I found Farmer Doofus’s spirit animal. 😈

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