This happened to a friend:
1.) When she was a lady in waiting in Once Upon A Mattress as a senior in high school, the cast decided to throw each other off during the last performance. Her partner was a nice looking tenor. As the last note of “We Have An Opening For A Princess” ended, all the ladies grabbed their partners and kissed them. (It wasn’t in the script.) This friend French kissed her partner on stage. Was he surprised? Yes. Did he see it coming? No. Did it throw him off as intended? Yes. Was it hilarious? Absolutely. She says she’d do it again.
2.) Summer session. Friend was taking physics. Finals over. Hanging out with friends. They said, “we have this annoying roommate who passes out cold when he’s drunk and he has a pre-employment physical next week”. Friend considered for a few moments and asked “Do you have an electric razor?”
Why, Yes! Yes they did!
So this friend and the roommates got the victim drunk, waited for him to pass out. Then he was de-pantsed and the friend delicately held his penis out of the way as she shaved all of his pubic hair off. The next day, she was in a car with the victim who had woken up sans pubes, his roommates tenderly taping them to his bedroom door. He looked embarrassed and confused. Friend acted shocked and appalled. She had no idea his roommates could do such a thing.
In retrospect, she probably shouldn’t have done either of these things. She apologizes. It was supposed to be funny. But it probably wasn’t. Ok, the first case was funny and he wasn’t the only one kissed. It was a planned practical joke by a cast of a dozen.
The second was humiliating. I’m sorry I did it.
At least I’m not a pedophile.
Let’s not get all sans culottes, people.
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I’m driving to NY today to see BiFF. We are hitting the city tomorrow and crashing in some edgy artsy boutique hotel in Brooklyn tomorrow night. (I suspect there is a foodie connection to the location). I have been told to wear walking shoes and *try* to look hip.
Packing my best black jeans, black leather jacket and ankle boots, and got my hair cut last night. “I like it all wild and messy. You’re that kind of girl“, said Andrew. “If you mean disheveled, go for it”, said I. He certainly did. It’s a bit Chrissy Hynde but blonde and longer and messier and wild.
Hip. ✅
BiFF can be seen with me now.
Gotta get my ass in gear and update my navigator and throw a load of laundry in the wash so I can hit the road by noon.
Will try to take pics and check in. Try not to mess up the place while I’m gone.
Filed under: General |
The Confluence 
RD, I posted this at another site:
This is just a question and my heart is in the right place: Should the sailor who dipped the WAC and planted one have been arrested, dragged away from the VE parade and thrown into the brig?
It’s one of the most iconic photographs that LIFE ever published, loved by most who saw it as the embodiment of the joy, relief and exuberance that America’s young fighting men and women felt after winning the war in the European Theater. Is no quarter to be given for spontaneity and unwise actions with no ill intent? No grades of offense?
When I was in college and I was making my way across campus as best I could in pelting rain, a young man dipped under my umbrella, tilted my chin and said, “You’re a Libran, aren’t you?’ Then he softly kissed me on the lips and backed away into the rainfall. Magic. It was one of the most romantic moments of my life, so much so that I began to doubt that it had ever really happened at all. I’d hate to see something like that just evaporate like one of those long ago, evanescent raindrops from our world.
Having said all of that, Franken’s behavior was highly objectionable, frattish dickery totally unbecoming to a man in his late fifties and he should have had his face slapped good and hard. As to the picture, it looks like he’s pretending to grope his fellow radio personality’s breasts not actually doing so. A stupid, disrespectful act but not assault. He was not a Senator and he was not her boss. He should stay in the Senate and continue his work. His apology was immediate and contrite and I believe that he’s sorry.
Saw that Kirsten Gillibrand said, today, that Bill Clinton should have resigned after his consensual affair with twenty one year old Monica Lewinsky. Why? Because it was discovered? Is that the tipping point?Because if it’s the act itself then JFK should have been kicked out of the White House unceremoniously for those nooners with “Fiddle” and Faddle” and all the times that Secret Servicemen stood guard at hotel room doors listening to Kennedy “make love” to movie stars, strippers and prostitutes. And don’t even get me started on FDR!
But Gillibrand won’t say that about Kennedy and Chris Mathews would cut out his tongue before making such a suggestion-because Kennedy(!)- but they’ll say it about Clinton because he’s still a no account from Arkansas who also happened to be the best President of my long lifetime.
William is right in my opinion because if we don’t live in the grays, if we don’t make distinctions between the impulsive and inhumane, the correctable and the criminal, we’ll purity test ourselves clear out of the public arena.
That’s how I see it.
Yeah, Franken was a dick when he French kissed her. On the other hand, shows are supposed to be a little wild and crazy and out there. It’s bad if it’s only coming from one gender all of the time and not in the spirit of fun. I don’t know the context. But if she said it was unwanted, then I believe her. My partner kinda got into it. It almost turned into a practical joke on me. I’d still do it again.
As for Monica, even by her own account, it was her who came on to him. She was like a governmental groupie. She even bragged about it to Whatsherface. Monica was a victim. But not of Bill Clinton. She was a victim of a right wing noise machine that wanted to get rid of Bill.
If I were a guy these days, I’d be afraid of doing anything, which, as you point out, takes all the fun out of life. I don’t want someone else lowering the bar for what is considered sexual assault to the point that any action, no matter how trivial or insensitive is confused with rape, pedophilia and harrassment. What Roy Moore was doing was creepy and possibly illegal. What bill was doing with Monica was probably hot at the time but stupid. What Franken was doing? Well, does it rise to the level of Louis CK? I dunno. The fact that he took a picture suggests that it was less than what I did with that poor passed out roommate. There was no power dynamic. But I shouldn’t have touched him while he was asleep even if there was no intent to do anything to him sexually and there were witnesses.
It just wasn’t nice. Funny? For about 20 minutes after I did it. Was that 20 minutes of hilarity worth it. Debatable. Probably not from my perspective. From his roommates’ perspective, it was priceless.
But men are dicks.
PS. Have a fabulous time!
I once slipped the tongue to a big, stiff clod of an actor during an audition just to get some sign of life out of him.
In my defense, I did whisper in his ear “let’s just go for it” before the assault.
Lololololol!!!
Cuteness break SQUEEEE *klunk* 🙂
I can’t stop watching this and I’m not sure what I think,
Was this consensual?
Please, please, I’m kidding because these are two adorable toddlers who are way too young for martial arts.
Decades ago, I was sharing an elevator (after my Jazzercise (!) class) with two Yuppie couples and their respective three year olds.
We were all looking straight ahead, as one does in a NYC elevator, until the little ones espied one another and ran into each other’s arms.
I heard Tchaikovsky*-you know what I mean-and laughed and laughed with joy. It was so pure.
* Romeo and Juliet.
BiFF and I have decided on hipster names for today. He will be Hanes and I’ll be Kai.
We’re still working on the spelling for Hanes. It might be Heines. (Not to be confused with heinous). Or Jeines.
Need better glasses. Ours are not Dutch architect enough.
Haynes with a y.