Context

This happened to a friend:

1.) When she was a lady in waiting in Once Upon A Mattress as a senior in high school, the cast decided to throw each other off during the last performance. Her partner was a nice looking tenor. As the last note of “We Have An Opening For A Princess” ended, all the ladies grabbed their partners and kissed them. (It wasn’t in the script.) This friend French kissed her partner on stage. Was he surprised? Yes. Did he see it coming? No. Did it throw him off as intended? Yes. Was it hilarious? Absolutely. She says she’d do it again.

2.) Summer session. Friend was taking physics. Finals over. Hanging out with friends. They said, “we have this annoying roommate who passes out cold when he’s drunk and he has a pre-employment physical next week”. Friend considered for a few moments and asked “Do you have an electric razor?”

Why, Yes! Yes they did!

So this friend and the roommates got the victim drunk, waited for him to pass out. Then he was de-pantsed and the friend delicately held his penis out of the way as she shaved all of his pubic hair off. The next day, she was in a car with the victim who had woken up sans pubes, his roommates tenderly taping them to his bedroom door. He looked embarrassed and confused. Friend acted shocked and appalled. She had no idea his roommates could do such a thing.

In retrospect, she probably shouldn’t have done either of these things. She apologizes. It was supposed to be funny. But it probably wasn’t. Ok, the first case was funny and he wasn’t the only one kissed. It was a planned practical joke by a cast of a dozen.

The second was humiliating. I’m sorry I did it.

At least I’m not a pedophile.

Let’s not get all sans culottes, people.

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I’m driving to NY today to see BiFF. We are hitting the city tomorrow and crashing in some edgy artsy boutique hotel in Brooklyn tomorrow night. (I suspect there is a foodie connection to the location). I have been told to wear walking shoes and *try* to look hip. Packing my best black jeans, black leather jacket and ankle boots, and got my hair cut last night. “I like it all wild and messy. You’re that kind of girl“, said Andrew. “If you mean disheveled, go for it”, said I. He certainly did. It’s a bit Chrissy Hynde but blonde and longer and messier and wild.

Hip. ✅

BiFF can be seen with me now.

Gotta get my ass in gear and update my navigator and throw a load of laundry in the wash so I can hit the road by noon.

Will try to take pics and check in. Try not to mess up the place while I’m gone.