Scenes from a tent in Trump Country.

Stuck in a tent during the rain. 

Darryl: The air mattress is de-flated a little. You might have to, you know…

Charlene:  Ok, I’ll blow it and you tell me when it’s firm enough. 

{{Pause}}

Charlene: I walked right into that, didn’t I?

Darryl: I’m not saying anything. 

Charlene: Pass me the bourbon. 

Morning after an all night downpour:

Darryl: Did I see a big fleece hoodie in your car?  

Charlene: Would you like me to get it for you?

Darryl: If you wouldn’t mind. I’m freezing. 

Charlene: Anything for you. Just say the word. 

{{pause}}

Darryl:  Which word do I say?  You’re not going to make this easy on me are you?  Antidisestablishmentarianism 

Charlene: {{chortling softly and turning over}} Nope. Guess again. 

Darryl:  We can’t see the grill. 

Charlene: Or anything else. Screw it, let’s go get pancakes at a diner. You have to drive. I can’t find my glasses. 

Darryl: I gotta grab a hat or they won’t let me in the door. 

Charlene: {{peeking at hair in ponytail and no mascara in the mirror}} I don’t look all that hot either. 

Darryl:  That means we are fitting in. We have butter snaps!  We won’t starve!!

Charlene: {{waiting for omelet and singing loudly along to Queen on jukebox}} Another one rides the bus, Another one rides the bus, and another gets on, and another gets on, another one rides the bus. 

Darryl:  {{peering over his kindle- dead giveaway}} Alright, Charlene, this isn’t a karaoke bar. 

A little later

Darryl: You should read this article about gerrymandering if I can figure out where it’s from.  By someone at CNN. 

Charlene: {{googling}}

Darryl: How do you spell that? 

Charlene: G-E-R-R-Y-M-A-N-D-E-R-I-N-G

Darryl: no

Charlene: that’s not how you spell it?  

Darryl: I meant CNN. C-N-?

Waitress brings breakfast. 

Charlene: Can I have some of your sausage?

Darryl: {{running with it}}. Go ahead Charlene. Take a bite. It’s a big thick sausage. You know you want to. Juicy and delicious. 

{{Charlene loses it. Can’t stop laughing.}}

Darryl: {{not letting up}}. Go ahead, order some pie. 

Darryl pulls into gas station 

Charlene: Why are we stopping here?

Darryl: Because you’re on a quarter tank. 

Charlene: I was going to stop on the way home. 

Darryl: We’re going to do it now. {{pulling up to pump}}

Charlene: You’re on the wrong side. 

Darryl: Damn Japanese car

Charlene: It’s Korean. 

Darryl:  I’ll bet it’s NORTH Korean. It’s got the gas thing on the north side of the car. 

{{Darryl fumbles for the gas latch and pops the hood}}

Charlene: {{laughing}} Where did you get your PhD?

Darryl: Shuddup, Charlene. I’m checking the oil. 

Advertisements

BiFF and RD in Trump Country

BiFF and I are camping again this weekend in a part of PA where Trump won by a good bit. BiFF has been away from his home attending to some family matters and wasn’t prepared for the wilderness. The park ranger recommended Walmart so off we went. 

Just a heads up: I’m a Target person. I think BiFF just orders stuff off the Internet. 

Anyway, there we were, meandering through this gigantic store the size of two football fields (I exaggerate but you know what I mean. It was like IKEA but all on one level).  BiFF was looking for clothing to blend in. Just basic T’s and a long sleeved shirt. I forced him to make a decision because the store was making me antsy and nothing had a Swedish name. 

We went to the cashier. I wasn’t feeling too hot yesterday so I went in search of water while BiFF settled the bill. 

Later, he asked, “Did you see the guy in front of me in line? He had a T-shirt on with a picture of Che Guevara that said “Socialism is for F*gs””

I looked at him in his polo shirt with the country club logo and his hat that screamed “East Coast Elite”.  (He’s actually bi-coastal, not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

Hmmm…

We are now referring to each other as Darryl and Charlene and hiding our French press and shallots. (they’re onions, dammit)

*************************************

Good op/ed in WaPo today on how the Democrats did themselves by using the “personal responsibility” meme instead of sticking to “steep discounts for groups of several hundred million!” 

Feel free to use it, DNC. No, no, don’t thank me.