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Stupid Football Stories

Is the Brady football story the dumbest story of the year so far? The Small-Evil-Group that runs the world, and to which no one we know personally belongs, must be trying to divert attention from something important if they are dangling this shiny object.

Under inflated footballs is not a story. Seriously. I can prove that an under inflated football has no effect on the outcome of a game. Here it is:

So, Bradshaw threw the ball, it was *almost* intercepted, but due to physics, angles and the Virgin Mary, it collided inelastically and right into the loving arms of Franco Harris.

Now, I guess you could say that with an under inflated football, the force of the collision would make the ball more like a lead zeppelin and less likely to ricochet but doesn’t that also suggest that the interception would have been successful and Harris and the Steelers would have gone home with nothing? Weird things do happen when fast moving flying objects hurtle through a crowded field. Anyone could catch it if they’re in the right place. The trick is to make sure you’re in the right place.

An under inflated ball is agnostic as to team membership. When Brady engineers the ball to act like a drone zeroing in on only members of his team who are wearing secret tracking devices, then I’ll care.

In other words, the best offense is a good defense, or something like that. The game was a blowout. The ball had nothing to do with it.

Now, what is it we’re supposed to be paying attention to?

8 Responses

  1. Now, what is it we’re supposed to be paying attention to?


  2. We know it’s not an accident. So, what is it?

  3. I thought the real NFL scandal was what the heck happened to the Packers in 45 seconds!!! Talk about taking the air out of their balls…

  4. I’m sick and tired of people calling Earth “the Earth”.

    We Earthlings need to stand up against those who would demean our homeworld.

  5. The ball deflation is more about the fact that New England is involved… AGAIN. They have had a ton of success in the last ten years but you can’t help to wonder what they havn’t been caught doing. Doing forget about spygate. Video taping the other teams plays and signs. In most team sports it would be a huge advantage to know what the other team was doing before they actually do it. Don’t forget the NFL brushed that under the rug and “tape” disappeared in existence. In the AFC Championship game Brady could have been throwing a basketball and the Colts would have still been blown out.

    • Exactly. New England cheats. If you don’t do something about the cheating in general for all teams, then it becomes a strategy.

  6. Cleveland is not in the path of the big storm, RD, and I’m assuming that Pittsburgh is safe, too.

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