My post on religious narcissism is getting a lot of hits. The hits come and go. It’s clearly hit a nerve probably because it feels truthy. But I’m not the only one who has made the connection between some religious people and narcissism. And I’m not condemning all religious people, not by a long shot. I have no problem with those people who know their boundaries and can coexist peacefully without insisting on sticking their beliefs into our heads. I’ve long been a proponent of God 2.0, that is, a new kind of experience that is independent of bronze age mythology. In other words, god needs a rewrite and a makeover but I can live with the metaphorically minded in the meantime.
We can not rule out the possibility that the right, seeing a potential push back against their ramming religion down our throats, is going to fight dirty. I’m not Frank Luntz or Karl Rove and I am not employed by Fox News (or I would be a lot wealthier right now) so I can’t tell what form their coming attack is going to take but I’m pretty sure that there are agents out there combing the blogs looking for trigger words and memes. I’m not being paranoid or inflating my influence. It’s just something they do and they wouldn’t be doing their jobs if they didn’t scour political and cultural blogs for potent memes. It happened in 2008 and it’s going to happen more and more leading up to the 2014 and 2016 elections. There’s a lot at stake.
This meme has legs so I expect them to start conjuring a response. No one likes to be called a narcissist, even if they only think that it has something to do with vanity while they miss the bigger personality disorder. It might put the religious off their kibble if they start looking undesirable or if they start to sense that the rest of us are on to them. It could trigger narcissistic rage, which is Bill O’Reilly’s forte, or it could mean that the rest of us can gain a toehold to resist them. They’re not going to like it in any case so I’d keep my eyes and ears open for a response.
I’m trying to put together a post that explains how to deal with people with narcissistic personality disorder but it’s not an easy one to write because there is no magic bullet that will make these people stop behaving the way they do. It’s harder in America because the critical mass of “nones” hasn’t been reached here that would be a more powerful counterweight to the religious narcissists. The “nones” category is growing rapidly (I suspect there are many god 2.0 people among them) but our culture still reveres the religious and because these people have a powerful microphone right now, they will get a greater amount of attention than they are entitled to.
So, I’m going to punt for awhile while I continue gathering my resources and instead recommend a podcast from Mormon Stories. Mormon Stories is hosted my John Dehlin, a Mormon on the liberal end of the spectrum, who is studying for his PhD in psychology. I highly recommend this podcast in general because Dehlin’s interview style ranks right up there with Terry Gross, IMHO. Where has this guy been?? He should be way more famous. Another great podcast host is Seth Andrews of The Thinking Atheist, whose warm, resonant radio voice reassures thousands of disaffected new atheists that they’re not alone.
Anyway, what I really love about Dehlin’s podcast is he is documenting the struggle that modern Mormons are having with their church in terms of gender equality, homosexuality and the history of their church. These Mormons want to stay connected to the culture they grew up with for many good reasons but they need the church to recognize their concerns. Dehlin takes a rigorous approach to religion in general and some of his podcasts have explored the types of religious believers that exist in this country as well as why religion is so compelling from a social psychology perspective. Here are a couple episodes from that latter category.
One of the things I took away from these podcasts, as well as Seth’s podcast, is the importance of knowing you are not alone. Just because your entire family, neighborhood, culture appears to be spouting anti-birth control nonsense or is obsessed with the pedophile that is lurking behind every tree, doesn’t mean everyone is going nuts. If you speak up, you may find you have a lot more people on your side than you thought. They tend to keep quiet when they think they are outliers.
The other thing I learned, that Ryan Cragun confirmed, is that it is a LOT harder to organize people on the left side of the spectrum because they don’t consider themselves to be joiners. This will always be an advantage to the right. Now, we might want to try to figure out why the left and the skeptical community don’t join forces in the same way the right’s disparate communities do but I suspect that it might go back to our childhoods. If you are forced to join a religion or social structure that you may not feel affinity for, you may resist any attempts to join a sympathetic one in the future. That’s just one working hypothesis.
One final thing, Cragun says that religious fundamentalists are a lot more unpopular than they or we are lead to believe. He says the problem with popularly reported surveys is that the participants are rarely asked to rank fundamentalists in the same way they are asked to rank atheists. Consider those surveys in the same light as the ones commissioned by WaPo where people are asked to rank taxes, the budget deficit and every other thing except unemployment as the most important things that government should tackle. So, yeah, fundies are living in denial when they think they are universally loved and admired.
Gotta go now. Get your headsets on and enjoy.
Filed under: General Tagged: | Bill O'Reilly, Fox News, God 2.0, John Dehlin, mormon stories, narcissistic rage, religious narcissism, right wing, ryan cragun, Sam Vaknin, Seth Andrews, the psychology of religion, The Thinking Atheist