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    • The Silver Lining of Thanksgiving Past
      I had originally intended to write a rather cynical Thanksgiving weekend post – pointing out that the Indian tribes who helped the pilgrims in that first Thanksgiving feast made a big mistake by helping Europeans figure out how to live and prosper in the new world. Their reward, ultimately, was slavery, scalp bounties, smallpox (sometimes […]
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Americans Who Pay Attention Leadership Council

Press Release

The Americans Who Pay Attention Leadership Council met recently to discuss the most effective way to cut the budget deficit. After having examined recent trends and similar historical events, they have decided that resolving the employment problem should be the focus of public and private initiatives and that policies to bring down unemployment would be the most effective way of reducing the deficit.  Higher employment has been shown to stimulate economic growth and lead to higher tax revenues.

“It’s unlikely that the private sector is going to be able to contribute to higher employment levels without a ‘carrots and sticks’ campaign”, says a senior director of the leadership council.  “The focus of the private sector is on the next quarter, according to our data.  Unfortunately, we do not see a movement within the White House to formulate policies that would lead big businesses to focus longer. The 2009 stimulus package was underfunded and not well designed to have a lasting effect.”

The leadership council plans to meet again to monitor the White House’s response to the ongoing unemployment crisis, which it says has been “pathetic” in the preceeding four years.

A second topic that the leadership council explored was the nature of President Obama’s political philosophy.  The leadership council has determined that President Obama is not now nor ever has been a member of the socialist party.  The irony of such claims to the contrary were not lost on the council.

“Clearly, we must do a better job of moving Americans away from television and radio sources of news.  They’re lowering our collective IQ and making us a global laughingstock”, the senior director said.  “Americans Who Pay Attention recommend a cable news free diet and only occasional consumption of NPR.  Excessive intake of focus group driven memes has been shown to be harmful to the American standard of living.”



One Response

  1. Damn, I find myself about to buy a Nicky Minaj song from iTunes. It’s like anti “hey, kids, get off my lawn!” syndrome.

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