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Adventures in home maintenance: what not to do

1.) If your bathroom has a popcorn ceiling, never tint your ceiling paint slightly blue because if you ever need to repaint, it will take three coats of paint to cover it up. And once you roll on that first swipe of white paint, there is no going back.

2.) You know those little decorative screws that attach the lighting fixture to the metal bracket behind it? Yeah, well those suckers are slippery and before you manage to climb down from the counter without breaking your neck to retrieve it, it will have rolled into some inaccessible space. They are the work of the devil.

3.) Don’t store your replacement vinyl plank flooring in your basement where it can be covered by 8 inches of sump pump backup water during a hurricane, rendering it unusable. This is especially painful when the basement floor is the thing that needs to be replaced.

4.) Buy a ladder that actually reaches. Conversely, don’t buy a house with a living room that has 14 foot ceilings. The roller extension isn’t long enough.

Your turn.

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19 Responses

  1. I’m at the kid’s ballet class. Her teacher has a big voice. He sings the positions. Too funny.

    It almost makes my headache bearable.

  2. Your basement has a floor?

    Also… Please check your mail for a moderation issue. Thanks!

    • Yup. I finished it a couple of years ago. The kid uses it as her lair. Went downstairs to bring her dinner during her English class and found out where all my missing spoons had gone off to. She’s got to clean that up or no Germany trip for her.

  3. Don’t climb on really really tall ladders to change window shade battery packs and have to reach and contort your body in thin air off to the side while not falling 15 feet to the floor. You will pull a muscle and have a horrible backache for at least two weeks.

  4. So is the house in market-ready condition yet?

  5. Don’t paint anything red. It takes five coats to get it that way and seven to change it to another color.

    • I have never owned a house. It is a long and bitter story of betrayal, lol. I won’t tell it. But regardless of Monster’s good advice and yours. I am determined to one day own a house and paint my dinning room red.

      • Then use Red Wallpaper — Seriously.

      • The secret to using red paint is to use a tinted primer first. IIRC, a gray tinted primer is recommended, oddly enough.

        • I tried that on my front door but It didn’t help. The color is still uneven.

      • I put it in my office because it’s supposed to stimulate the imagination and I was trying to write fiction. I thought it looked gorgeous for a few years but then it got old. I never did finish the book.

  6. Don’t put off installing gutters because “It never floods here.”

  7. Don’t buy a house.

    My apartment is all I need.

    The maintenance technician fixes things when I need them fixed.

    I didn’t have to buy appliances.

    I HAVE ZERO DEBT. :mrgreen:

  8. Do not decide over a long week end to open up the kitchen and dinning room and living room so you can have an “open floor plan”. It really is a bigger job than those TV shows make it look like. Sometimes those walls you take down are holding up the upstairs.

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