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Friday: It wonders me

Our Full Service Library

Stuff I find fascinating, in no particular order of importance:

Update: The NYTimes reports that the Obama administration is ready to offer a compromise to the Catholic bishops on the birth control matter.  So, some of you women will have more rights than some of you other women.  Just because we are more than half of the population does not mean we are adults that can make these decisions without our churches weighing in.

You Obama apologists who can’t imagine that Hillary would have been more progressive can bite me.

1.) Why are traffic laws considered “optional” in Philadelphia?

2.) The Duggars.  If they are trying to live debt free, why aren’t they off the grid?  Where are their solar panels?  Do they think that using them is the same as admitting that global warming exists?  They’ve got 20 fricking acres with few trees and lots of light exposure.  And the reason they aren’t generating their own electricity is…why, exactly?

3.) Speaking of farms, they don’t grow any of their own food.  Those kids look like they’ve never seen a garden and they eat canned green beans.  What’s up with that?  Shouldn’t those little rugrats be outside weeding?

4.) Why is there so much packaging on a bottle of salad dressing?  There’s an outside shrink wrap, a perforated paper seal, and one of those barriers between you and the vinegary goodness.  You know the kind?  It’s got a little tab and you’re supposed to pull it and it’s supposed to come right off?  Has anyone ever gotten that thing to come off or do you just end up grabbing a sharp knife and go at it like Anthony Perkins from Psycho?

5.) Why is it that when you get your car inspected in NJ and it fails because of some stupid short circuit in an oxygen sensor that blinks on and off but just happens to blink on the minute you drive it into the inspection garage and you take your car to get the sensor replaced that the garage can’t stick an new inspection sticker on your car if you don’t have the *original* paper work?  Yes, the garage can login to the state DMV database, look up your car’s inspection history, see exactly what needs to be done with your car, and fix it.  But if you don’t have the original report from the state inspection station in hard copy format, they can’t stick a new inspection sticker on the car.  No, you must return to one of the few inspection stations in the state and get them to print off a new copy of the old inspection report, return to the garage that replaced the sensor and present them with the hard copy before they are allowed to give you a new sticker.  Why? What is the universal guiding principle behind this procedure?

4.) Why is your favorite salad dressing so expensive?  There is no reason why oil, vinager and a secret selection of spices should cost $3.99.  It’s not like it’s going to get you high or make you more beautiful.  It’s just salad dressing.  (I’ve tried to reproduce it.  I can’t)

29 Responses

  1. #4: What brand and flavor? 99% sure I can find or create a recipe for you. You’re right. Salad dressing is one of those things that you should just never buy. It’s ridiculously easy to make (once you know the recipe) and otherwise you’re just giving your money to Kraft.

    • Gazebo Greek Salad dressing. The stuff has powerful mojo. Addiction is virtually guaranteed. It sort of reminds me of Lawry’s San Francisco salad dressing, which I can’t find in my stores.

      I know this dressing should be easy to make. I consume it in mass quantities. It’s good as a marinade. Jeez, I’m beginning to sound like a commercial.

  2. But but but….every sperm is sacred!

  3. Best bleu cheese recipe:

    1 cup of mayonnaise
    1 cup of sour cream
    3/4 cup of bleu cheese
    1 Tbs of lemon juice
    Salt and pepper to taste.

    Delish! AND, it actually contains bleu cheese.

    • Oh, wow, that does sound good. Must be delishus on wedges of iceberg lettuce with bacon bits and a sprinkling of chopped egg and diced tomato.
      Is it lunch yet?

  4. I want to know if the Catholic bishops have any objection to paying for viagra coverage in their medical plans to unmarried men.

  5. oops, for unmarried men.

  6. When I lived in Topeka in the 1970s there was a local lawyer who was in the headlines all the time for filing crackpot lawsuits. It turned out that he was doing something else worthy of headlines. He started his own church….. And (at least at that time) the only members were his own family. Fred Phelps started his own church pretty much so no one could tell him what to do.

    It’s wildly hilarious that his church evolved into a platform for him and his family (and his ILK in other churches) to tell the rest of us what to do.

    And that somehow the idea of Separation of Church and State has evolved into something totally different. The State doesn’t control The Church…. But, The Church is controlling The State.

    What happens if we all start churches? Do they all get the special treatment Obama is giving The Catholic Church?

    Where does it end? Exemptions to any law some “church” doesn’t like? Or an acknowledgment that there are State Approved Churches?

    • I like it! Let’s start a church only for women.

      • Ha! And that’s the minute we discover that Our Church doesn’t qualify under some magical regulation.

        Seriously, The Catholic Church gets to have a rule that they won’t ‘hire’ women as priests? Who else gets to be that blatant? And they don’t have to fully fund health care to women? Who else gets to be that blatant? And The Catholic Church doesn’t have to report the sexual abuse of children to the authorities? Who else gets to be that blatant?

        It’s pretty clear that one church at least exists outside the laws governing the rest of us.

        • Just supply you congress members with free Get Out of Hell cards like the big churches do. 🙂

      • I’ll volunteer to be the janitoress!

      • I like it. 🙂

      • I’m not kidding. We need to start our own church or they’ll never listen to us. Without the protection of the first amendment, we have no protection at all against these maniacs.

        • Is it a requirement of a Church that Religion and a belief in God is required? (no… Unitarians, I think don’t require that) …. What are the steps to forming a church. And how do you keep the A*Holes out?

          • I think we can accommodate the “belief in God” requirement in a way that wouldn’t scare away the atheists.

          • One could work up one’s own version of the declaration of faith that Reverend Billy of the Church of Life After Shopping stated:

            “We believe in the God that people who don’t believe in God . . believe in.”

    • In Sweden the separation of church and state, 10 years back, made it possible for smaller – and as it seems “outlier” – religious organisations to be recognized. One example is Det missionerende Kopimistsamfund, The Missionary Church of Kopimism.

      From their “About” site:

      Our faith
      From all at one and from one to all – and then back – exchange without beginning and without end. Everything to everyone’s delight, and everybody’s joy of it all. No privileges, no exclusions – everywhere. Every believer has all knowledge – all knowledge is spread by every believer to all people without exception. Start the exponential cascade.

      And no, this isn’t a piece from The Onion, lol.

      • It sounds delightful but probably more innocent than you imagine. I picture it as a slumber party religion. And it’s not like they don’t have a belief system. That paragraph right there tells you everything you need to know about them. They’re mission is to share themselves and knowledge with the world and to be non-judgemental and violate every copyright law known to man.

  7. We keep a pair of pliers in our Kitchen utensil drawer just for pulling those tags. And yes, we go straight for the knife if there isn’t a decent tab to pull.

    It’s amazing how that Tylenol guy changed the world. Is there any evidence that all this stuff has to be sealed so tightly?

    • I’m (relatively) young, strong and my last two physicals in the past year show me to be so healthy it’s sickening. So, if I can’t ge the bloody things open, what does a more fragile 84 year old man do?

  8. Car inspections?

    You should have heard the wailing and gnashing of teeth when PA went from every six months to yearly inspections. That pool of free money for the garages and dealerships dried up.

    In other words they didn’t pay our state Senators and Representatives enough unlike your garage owners associations did to get such draconian laws passed.

  9. I tried looking up Gazebo Greek salad dressing on the web and what I found was Gazebo Room dressings, one of which is Greek. Is that what you are referring to? If so, perhaps the Secret Dressingmasters in the Fortress of Gazebo have made their dressing irreproducible on purpose. If one wants to save money on dressing, perhaps a second-best alternative would be to make one’s own salad dressing at home and see if one can make it good enough to eat in its own terms?
    When I have the patience to make a salad, I begin by making the dressing first in the bottom of the salad bowl. It can either be a sour and savory dressing or it can be a sweetnsour savory dressing. For a sour-base I use lemon juice. For sweetnsour I use balsamic vinegar. Either way, my best guess is the dressingbase is about 3/5ths aqueous and 2/5ths “oileous”. Then I put in the flavor agents.
    Sour.. I pour in some lemon juice and a little soy sauce and then pour in a bunch of olive oil to eyeball taste. Stir it all up hard with a small fork, crush in a couple or few garlic cloves with a garlic crusher and mix it up harder. (Garlic chemicals somewhat emulsify the oil and lemon juice better.) Shake in some oregano. Grate in a small red onion, stir it all up again. Then squeeze in some anchovy paste and mash/mix it in with the fork. Then some half-and-half mixed coarse-powdered romano and parmesan cheese. Then I cut up all the salad ingredients in on top of that and mix it all around in stages.

    For sweetnsour . . pour in some balsamic vinegar and soy sauce( rather more than for above) and then a bunch of olive oil to eyeball-taste and beatwhip it all up the same way. Put in some powdered ginger and whip some more. Squeeze in 2 (no more) garlic cloves and whip some more to emulsify. Then some smallish bluecheese crumbs and chunklets and some walnuts crushed up semi small in my hands. No onion, no anchovy paste, no Italian cheeses. Then put in cut up salad ingredients and mix up same as before. Dried cherries are very good in this.

    Granted the lemon juice base dressing will not be the same as Gazebo Greek. If “not the same as” means “just not as good as”, perhaps one could experiment putting in some Gazebo Greek dressing on top of the homemade dressing after it is all made in the bottom of the bowl. How little Gazebo Greek would one need to add to that to get just enough of the G Gr taste to make it close enough? That might be a way to lower the cost of G Gr useage without having to delete the G Gr altogether to delete the cost.

    If one is concerned with calorie intake, one could use less oil and put in a small amount of guar gum. I have begun experimenting with
    guar gum as a thickening agent. Put about an eighth teaspoon in and spend a minute stirring it fast and thoroughly. Give it a few couple minutes more and it will begin thickening nicely for that ummy
    yummy gummgoo mouthfeel which oil has traditionally delivered.

    As to those Duggars, I guess you had to watch videos about them to see pictures of their 20 acres? I could never stand to watch that.
    They are probably so drained having to deal with eachother that they have no energy left for gardening. And Big Poppa Duggar is probably spending too much time being proud to even think about it.

    • Thanks, I copied this to study later. I have never used soy in a dressing I’ve made, but will start doing so.

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