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SOTU Live Blog: Spotting the buzzwords

"Michelle's Mai Tai was this big. No lie"

Hi there, sports fans.  It’s that once a year event again.  No, not the Superbowl, although, the Steelers are going again and this is a Packers free zone.

It’s the SOTU address.  Oh, joy.  When it comes to post SOTU critiques, we can expect the kool aide mainliners to sound a lot like Matt Bai did yesterday when he wrote about how Obama had to reach out to the online community.  (Warning: the following excerpt is nauseating.  Reader discretion is advised):

Mr. Obama is probably the most talented writer to occupy the office in the television age  (presumably, Matt is very young); his political career was made possible, in large part, by the candid memoir he wrote as a younger man. So it is hard to understand why he hasn’t tried to use that talent the way Kennedy capitalized on his personal charm.

You can easily imagine Mr. Obama sitting in front of a keyboard at the end of a long day, briefly reflecting on the oddity of a personal encounter or on the meaning of some overlooked event, or perhaps describing what it is like to stand in the well of Congress and deliver the State of the Union address. It could be that in order to expand the reach and persuasiveness of the modern presidency, Mr. Obama simply needs to be his online self — not so much a blogger as a memoirist in chief, walking us through history in real time.

It always feels better after you purge.  Do it now before the speech.

So, on with the show!  This year, I would like to invite corporate minions to chime in whenever they hear a potential consultant crafted buzzword.

Let’s try to not get petty.  Yes, Michelle is an amazon but do you know how hard it is to get clothes made for an amazon?  I’m only 5’9″ and a size 10 and let me tell you, nothing fits.  It sucks.  But I digress.

Let’s do this thing! Ready, set, buzzzz.

161 Responses

  1. Oooo, we get to see the limo leave the White House. Well, that’s special. Very CEO.

  2. But not as CEO as a helicopter.
    OTOH, when the helicopter shows up at your site after 6pm, it’s never a good sign.

  3. C-Span is doing a “play by play”. What we need is a Howard Cosell type to do color commentary.

    “There’s Kirsten Gillibrand sitting next to Jim DeMint. You wouldn’t think they had anything in common but they both own black labrador retrievers named Vinyl. Kirsten says she gave the dog to her son as a Christmas present. DeMint has been teaching the dog to attack hippies. It’s little things like dogs that bring us closer”

  4. Nope, I’m not going to put myself through it. There must be a Law and Order on TNT.

    • Try Criminal Minds on ION. (but I repeat myself)

      • totally stuck on Criminal Minds lately usually can’t stand that stuff, but reality has been so bad that CM seems almost relaxing

  5. Jeez, does the president need that many bridesmaids? Who gets to hold his bouquet?

  6. Who was that blonde woman in the red jacket?

  7. oh brother. Giffords ribbons. How about if the right wing just stopped Dixie Chicking people they don’t like? that would be so much better than some sentimental symbolic gesture

  8. Ruth Bader ginsburg is such a teeny, tiny woman. She’s elfin.

  9. Michelle in silver long sleeved sheath. Good choice.

  10. There she is! She looks great.

  11. The blonde in the red jacket is Kathleen Sibelius, I think.

    • No, I saw Kathleen Sibelius come in after clinton. I don’t know who that blonde is. After awhile, they all start to look alike.

  12. I hear that there will be not one but TWO stupid Republican responses.

  13. Are Alito, Scalia, and Thomas boycotting because of the Corporate personhood thing?

    • I didn’t notice. They aren’t there? Maybe it had something to do with Scalia and the Tea Party thingy?

  14. Here comes the president.

  15. I thought they used to play Hail to the Chief. Whatever happened to that?

  16. Hillary is a class act.

  17. Oh, god, he’s about to open his mouth. Stomach is already churning.

  18. Why do i find this man so uninspiring?

  19. “But now we are sitting all next to each other so it’s all cool and groovy now.”

  20. More treacly, schlocky sentimentalism trying to rise to greatness and failing miserably.

  21. Sit together tonight, work togehter tomorrow. I have to pass that piece of rhetoric past Brooke for the latin word.

  22. Let’s not move forward, ok? I don’t like what your future looks like.

  23. The fact that the stock market is roaring is not a measure of success. That’s a measure of how much money we are being forced to put in our 401K to get a tax break.

    • Some analysts are predicting it will get up to around 15 and then crash again because they think this is another false bubble. And some are tying a crash to likely US entry into war with Iran. So if war with Iran starts to seem likely, I might pull my money out of my 401k and put it ??? somewhere else. But I can’t foresee being able to retire anytime soon, so it’s all pretty unnerving.

      • put it in to an annuity. They aren’t as sexy and you don’t make as much, but they are safe and your money will always grow, sometimes not much, but it will grow. They have five year annuities so you don’t have to leave it there forever.

  24. Did he mention that housing sales have hit a new low?

  25. We used to have good jobs.
    But we’re going to do away with all that! Welcome to America!

  26. The rules wouldn’t change if the rulemakers didn’t change them

  27. Sorry, I just got home. We still have the largest economy in the world. nice to know.

  28. math and science? MATH AND SCIENCE???
    I know plenty of talented scientists, right here in this country, who are out of fucking work!

    Chinese scientists aren’t better. They are just more numerous.

  29. He’s going to trade having our jobs go overseas to increasing the visas so the college students stay here!

  30. “The future is ours to win. But to get there we can’t just stand still”
    Oooo, so profound.

  31. “out” is blessed buzzword prefix.
    First use of the word sacrifice.

  32. There’s a man who has never innovated in his life.

  33. But how many of us are going to be left after the next round of layoffs?

    Do we innovate here and let Chindia do the grunt work?

  34. If you assemble teams of the best minds in your fields, we’ll let you run Scrum meetings at 7 in the morning for the offshore developers.

  35. Here’s a question. If all the cars are electric how do we fund highways. Wouldn’t we lose all the revenue from gas taxes?

  36. Oh, God, please don’t let him be president in 2025

  37. Who decided to sit them all together? That wasn’t to show bipartisanship. That was to make sure one party didn’t look too obviously disapproving.

  38. Please do NOT tell me how to raise my kids.

  39. How about high standards for teachers?
    Race to the top? I don’t trust it. That’s was what got food stamps cut, IIRC.

  40. WTF is he going on about math and science?? I don’t know why he is beating on this.
    THERE ARE NO JOBS
    There are thousands and thousands and thousands of unemployed scientists.

  41. Poor lady. I hope she can find a job.

  42. We will have the highest number of unemployed smart people.

  43. No jobs without some kind of global labor standards.

  44. Give me cheap high speed internet.

  45. You and what money?

  46. The tracks are already there.

  47. Ooo, I can already hear the republican poison pills. You can have high speed internet but we must make sure it is completely free of pedophiles.
    Oh, and Comcast wants a two lane system

  48. Yes! Let’s cut taxes on corporations!

  49. Shoot, I got distracted. What did I miss?

  50. What would be an unnecessary burden on business?

  51. Hooray! More deregulation! Worked out really well in Airlines, energy, and banking.

    • But wait! There’s more. Wait till I tell you about what the feds have been pushing onto the states. I just found out about it today. You’re going to love it.

  52. Biden’s looking a little nervous. Reulating credit card companies cut a little close to home

  53. Unnecessary paperwork? Will this cover mortgages?

  54. deficit spending.
    much harder to fix that after you let the rich keep their tax cuts

  55. Anything?
    Be careful what you wish for.

  56. Here it comes. Will the mortgage interest deduction get thrown on the table?

  57. Wow — Sibelious is really giving him the stink-eye.

  58. Call me skeptical.

  59. What does he mean, “slashing benefits” ?

  60. And yet that’s just what you did.

  61. Yep, simplify the tax code means there goes the mortgage deduction

    • What happens to the housing market if they dump that?

      • I have no idea. Presumably, there would be a carrot offered up front to keep people from revolting.

        • Because as it is, I don’t see how people can afford to buy property in states like NJ or CA. It’s gotta be a lot cheaper to rent.

          • Not really. Renting here is ridiculously expensive as well. My friends decided to buy a nice townhouse because they desperately needed more space. But their condo is underwater. So, they’re going to rent it out to cover the mortgage.

          • Wow. But, then where do they live?

          • They will live in the new townhouse but they will rent the condo they currently have because they can’t sell it.

            As for how we do it, we spend about half of our net income on housing. And of that money, about half is mortgage and the other half is property taxes and association fees.

      • The housing market would fall through the toilet.

        djmm

        • mebbe. mebbe not. people still need to live somewhere
          betcha they’re going to offer a big restructuring
          but of couse, people in my bracket will really get nailed

  62. Oh, that is soooo not true. Al Gore worked really hard on streamlining government agencies.

  63. He’s not the class clown. He’s the class ass.

  64. Wait! I thought that combat operations in Iraq were over last year. Isn’t that what he told us?

  65. Kerry’s on a date with McCain?

  66. This date night …. it makes it look like everyone’s giving him a standing O …. instead of seeing the half that’s sitting down.

    Very clever.

    • I see plenty of people sitting down but they aren’t sitting in chunks.
      Actually, I do see some chunks. But not as many.

  67. But if they are military *women*, all their fetuses are belong to us!

  68. There goes Boehner, turning on the waterworks.

  69. Blah, blah, blah. Blech.

  70. Shall we blog the Republicans? Both sets?

  71. Damn, Hillary looks good.
    I remember a study of congress by some social psychologist that foudn that the members who were physically touched the most were the most powerful alpha members.
    Hillary is getting a lot of touching tonight.

  72. In summary, it sounds like the Big Dawg has been coaching him. Whether he’ll be able to carry any of it off remains to be seen. I have my doubts.
    But it wouldn’t matter if he turned out to be the second coming of Christ for his remaining 2 years. I don’t vote for people who steal my vote.

    • I don’t vote for people who steal my vote and then call me bitter and clingy and gun nutty. The small town in PA where I was residing at the time of the 2008 election voted for Obama. I guess the rest of them didn’t mind being called bitter and clingy.

  73. I dunno. I’m fading here. I have to finish two reports, I have three big meetings this week and I have to give a presentation on Friday. Plus, I spent all day with a vendor who had to restore a database.
    I’m exhausted.

  74. Ewwww, this ryan guy reminds me of a cheezy TV preacher.

  75. “We face a crushing burden of debt- that our friends in the bonus class have stuck us with. But hey, we’re all friends here. That’s why you need to sacrifice”

  76. Health care spending debt is crushing us. So, stop going to the doctor for every little thing. consider unmedicated home birth. Learn self-appendectomy.
    Cut back on your insulin and learn to live with fewer limbs.

  77. Doesn’t he have TV preacher hair? How much you wanna bet he sneaks another God reference in there?

    • Ok, no god reference but smarmy and falsely sincere nevertheless.
      “Sacrifice and Die, you working class people or I’ll have to give up my beach house!”

  78. How does the Republican party get people to cut their own throats? Hmmm…
    That’s right, seniors, cut the younguns free. When it comes to social Security, let them fend for themselves. It’ll build character.

  79. Wait, the War on Poverty was a Democratic policy system.

  80. I think America is an “exceptional nation”, too, but our health system and our education system are not.

    Still, Ryan did a better job than Jindal did.

    • Really?? He was so smarmy. In essence, he is telling us we’re all spoiled and soft because we want to retire someday.
      At least that’s what I heard. how could that be better than anyone?

      • I meant his delivery of the limited amount that I listened to. Jindal sounded scared to death when he did the answer. It was a comment on style, not content.

        Am I one of your “usual suspects” or am I being paranoid?

  81. I couldn’t tell the difference. Between the two speeches

  82. Between Ryan and Obama? I could take only a few minutes of either, really.

  83. Gack, I can’t take Bachmann, at all.

  84. My couch is furious. I’ve got to go over there and calm it down.

    • Sometimes, you need to give it a full body hug. The pressure of your weight, especially in a prone (or is that supine?) position, has been known to relax tense hand tied springs.

  85. boy you two can talk!

  86. About half way through, I started answering BO with “Good luck with that” a couple of times before I slumped down, turned away from the tv and began humming. I’ve heard this song many many times before…I’ll hum a few bars:

    O, let’s all get along,
    We have to think about what we’re leaving to our children,
    The stock market is booming (which you should hear as the recession is over, thanks to me),
    (I am just so wonderful, improving everything, and can’t you see that I’m an innovator, so vote for me in 2012).

    gawd, our unemployment rate went up a tenth of a point so the rest of the country must have recovered, not us!

  87. Obama’s SOTU blew chunks. Ryan was better but only because he seemed like an adult. Now for something that may matter. It’s something I think we all know but hasn’t been acknowledged until now.

    I’m gonna buy the book on this when it comes out. Should be interesting reading since everyone and their dog was at fault.

    Financial Crisis Was Avoidable, Inquiry Finds

    WASHINGTON — The 2008 financial crisis was an “avoidable” disaster caused by widespread failures in government regulation, corporate mismanagement and heedless risk-taking by Wall Street, according to the conclusions of a federal inquiry.

    The commission that investigated the crisis casts a wide net of blame, faulting two administrations, the Federal Reserve and other regulators for permitting a calamitous concoction: shoddy mortgage lending, the excessive packaging and sale of loans to investors and risky bets on securities backed by the loans.

    “The greatest tragedy would be to accept the refrain that no one could have seen this coming and thus nothing could have been done,” the panel wrote in the report’s conclusions, which were read by The New York Times. “If we accept this notion, it will happen again.”

    • It was avoidable, and it’s news? It was fraud. Nobody is going to jail yet, and I think nobody will because Geithner the regulators were in it.

    • here is one of my main problems with Obama: He hired the guy that Clinton regretted taking advice from, Summers. The reason that he did that is because he was just like Bush. Bush said that we shouldn’t worry about his lack of experience because he would hire smart advisors that would give him awesome advice and he would be a good president.
      Obama said we shouldn’t worry about his lack of experience because he would hire awesome advisors and they would make him an awesome president.
      So what does Obama do? He hires some advisors from bush2 and some from Clinton.
      So now we have had a terrible inexperienced president who sounded stupid and was not that stupid and a terrible inexperienced president who sounds smart and is not that smart.When the f*ck are we going to have a smart experienced president again?

      • wanted to add that I am pretty sure Hillary would not hire the guy Bill said he regretted taking advice from and certainly NOT after he said girls couldn’t do math.

        Instead we got stuck with another legacy grad from Harvard.

        • Bill hired Summers and promoted him several times.
          After being Bill’s Secretary of the Treasury, Summers was President of Harvard for a while; now he is going back there.

          Summers never said he invented the Internet.

  88. What Stirling said:

    “Obama told us tonight that with work and sacrifice, we can have the richest criminal banks in the world.”

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