Yeah, this will help

30 years of peace

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Israel National News:

Documents revealed by Wikileaks show that Egypt continues to see Israel as its primary military threat despite a decades-old peace treaty. Egypt and Israel fought against each other in four wars before signing the treaty in 1979.

United States diplomats have been frustrated as Egyptian leaders focus on being prepared for war with Israel while ignoring threats such as terrorism and weapons smuggling.

“The United States has sought to interest the Egyptian military into expanding their mission in ways that reflect new regional and transnational security threats, such as piracy, border security, and counterterrorism,” said one leaked file.

“But the aging leadership, however, has resisted our efforts and remained satisfied with continuing to do what they have done for years: train for force-on-force warfare with a premium on grounds forces and armor.”

A leaked memo addressed to U.S. General David Petraeus ahead of a 2008 visit to Egypt warns that Egyptian Defense Minister Mohammed Hussein Tantawi in particular is the “chief impediment” to U.S. efforts to involve the Egyptian military in fighting modern threats. “During his tenure, the tactical and operational readiness of the Egyptian Armed forces has decayed,” the memo stated.

This is why I am skeptical of WikiLeaks. I cannot see how publishing this information can possibly contribute to lasting peace in the Middle East.

What do we gain by having this knowledge made public? How has WikiLeaks made Hillary Clinton’s job easier?

Now some fans of WikiLeaks have been defending the secretive organization by pointing out they have only leaked a small portion of the State Department cables. But that begs the question – what do they still have and why haven’t they released it yet?

Someone once said that the best way to lie is to use the truth selectively.

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I hereby resolve . . .

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Okay, that hangover should be mostly gone by now. Riverdaughter is still MIA so in her absence I’ll seize control do a New Year’s resolutions post.

Here’s some tips on making and keeping your resolutions.

1. Be specific Don’t say “I’m going to lose weight” say “I’m going to lose 10 pounds by March 1st.”

2. Be realistic Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Unless you’re going to boot camp losing 10 lbs a week isn’t gonna happen.

3. Make a plan If your goal is to lose weight then figure out how you intend to do it. Again, be specific. Don’t just say “I’ll diet and exercise.”

4. Write it down and sign it It’s a contract with yourself. An oral contract is worth the paper it’s printed on.

5. Go public Post your resolutions somewhere you’ll see it. The fridge is a good place. Tell family, friends and co-workers. If everyone does it you can be a mutual support group. (see below)

6. Join forces If you and someone else commit to a joint plan you’re both more likely to keep it.

Okay, my first resolution is to lose 10 lbs by March 1st. I plan to cut out beer, sugary drinks and sweets, reduce carbs by 50% and walk 2 miles everyday after lunch.

I also resolve to be more sarcastic and less tolerant of contrary opinions. I figure I’ll be able to keep at least two out of three.

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

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Wakey-wakey – it’s a brand new year!

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I know what you’re thinking (Oh gawd, can’t he see I’m hungover? Leave me alone!) but somebody had to do the first post of the year and Riverdaughter was partying like a rock star last night so don’t expect to see her until noonish.

Here’s a few things for you to practice focusing your blurry eyes on while you wait for the pounding in your head to go away:

New year proves dangerous time for the depressed
With every new year, it’s murder for Neal Smither and his crew.

Suicide, too.

As owner of Crime Scene Cleaners, Smither’s job is to clean up the bloody messes left behind when people kill each other or themselves – and those first few weeks after Jan. 1 are his busiest time of year.

See, some people don’t just whine about their problems, they DO something about it!

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Cry me a river:

Ex-Treasury chief Paulson loses $1 million on DC home

Few know better than former Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson how the struggling U.S. economy has battered home prices.

As former President George W. Bush’s top economic adviser, Paulson played a lead role battling the U.S. housing downturn and deep financial crisis it sparked.

But last week it got personal.

Paulson sold his three-bedroom home in a tony Washington neighborhood last week for close to a third less than his initial asking price and more than $1 million below what he paid for it more than four years ago.

Fuck him and the village idiot he rode in on.

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Screw perp-walks. This is how you do it:

Of course China’s a whole different question. There governmental official Zeng Jinchun, who was convicted of taking $4.7 million in bribes, was executed a day after top Communist Party officials promised to crack down on graft.

“This court finds you guilty. Bailiff, you may fire at will.”

(Oh shit, he REALLY IS an authoritarian!)

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While all you city slickers are complaining about a few snowflakes:

Tornado kills three in Arkansas
A tornado whipped up by an unusually warm winter air has torn through parts of north-west Arkansas, killing three people, injuring several others and knocking out power to thousands of homes and businesses.

The victims were killed at Cincinnati, a hamlet near the Oklahoma border.

Wanna take bets on whether they were in a trailer park?

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This is why I didn’t join the navy:

20 Sailors Rescued in Pacific Near Marhall Islands After Boat Sank

The Coast Guard says 20 sailors were rescued Friday near the Pacific’s Marshall Islands after their boat sank in rough seas.

The Jeljelet Ae was hauling construction materials from the Marshall port of Majuro to an island 200 miles away Thursday when the crew was forced to abandon ship and board life rafts.

I grew up watching Gilligan’s Island and Jaws. If the choice is sink or swim I choose “neither.”

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He should have stuck to video games:

Man hit by SUV while playing live Frogger

A man in Clemson, South Carolina, had to be hospitalized after he was hit by an SUV while playing a live version of an arcade game, CNN affiliate WYFF reports.

The 23-year-old man and some friends were acting out the video game Frogger, in which players try to send frogs across a busy highway without getting run over.

Police said the man, whose name was not released, yelled “Go!” and darted into traffic, where he was struck by a 2010 Lexus SUV.

With a little more effort he could have won a Darwin award. Unfortunately for the human gene pool he survived.

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He has a big problem:

Tall Passenger Says He Was Forced to Stand for Entire Flight

It was standing room only for one unlucky flier, who says he was forced to stand for more than two hours during a Spirit Airlines flight because he was too tall to fit into his seat.

On a flight from Chicago to Fort Myers, Fla., Brooks Anderson realized that he wasn’t just too tall to slide into the airline’s small coach seat comfortably; at 6 feet, 7 inches, he was too tall to fit in it at all.

I know this guy. He always sits in front of me at the theater.

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Okay, that’s it for now. Quit lollygagging and get your ass up. You have New Year’s Resolutions to write.

(I hate that fucking clown. I swear to gawd I’m gonna kill him. Just as soon as my head stops pounding.)

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