I am officially over-the-hill

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I ran across this post at Salon and realized I am ready for the old folks home:

The ladybits have seen hot pink pubic dyes and dollar sign stencils. They’ve encountered jewelry of the pierced and clip-on variety. They’ve been available in different flavors.  They’ve even recently become aware of labia tinters.  But this week they really sat up and took notice when actress Jennifer Love Hewitt announced on “The George Lopez Show” that she has pimped out her yoni with Swarovski crystals. Or, as she put it, “It’s called vajazzling.” Of such great import was the news of the Ghost Whisperer’s crotch bling that Broadsheet actually received a press release from the Lopez camp about it. I shit you not, America.

Discussing her new memoir “The Day I Shot Cupid,” debut author Hewitt said that after a painful breakup, “A friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady and it shined like a disco ball,” adding the imperative that “women should vajazzle their vajayjays.”

If anyone wants me I’ll be out front yelling at the neighbor kids to get off my lawn. This is an open thread.