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Steeler Quarterback accused of rape


From the Associated Press:

A woman has filed a lawsuit accusing Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of raping her last summer in his penthouse hotel room at a casino in Lake Tahoe during a celebrity golf tournament.

Roethlisberger’s lawyer denied the allegations Tuesday, and noted that the woman, who was working at the hotel as an executive casino host, never went to the authorities.

“Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone. The timing of the lawsuit and the absence of a criminal complaint and a criminal investigation are the most compelling evidence of the absence of any criminal conduct,” David Cornwell said in a statement. “If an investigation is commenced, Ben will cooperate fully and Ben will be fully exonerated.”

I really hate cases like this. We see them every year or two and they never end well. First of all let me say that I am not offering an opinion on Roethlisberger’s guilt or innocence, but I can predict much of what will follow because the pattern is always the same.

There will be some people who will reflexively believe that the woman is telling the truth and that Roethlisberger is indeed a rapist. They will continue to believe that even if the woman recants her story and dismisses her lawsuit. There will be others that will reflexively insist that the woman is lying and that Roethlisberger is falsely accused. They will continue to believe that even if a jury says otherwise.

Michael Jackson, Mike Tyson, Kobe Bryant, and William Kennedy Smith are all men who were accused of sexual assaults in recent years. Jackson and Smith were acquitted by juries but some people continue to insist that they were guilty. Tyson was convicted and sent to prison but some people insist he was innocent. Bryant’s criminal case was dismissed and he settled out of court with his accuser.

The woman said Roethlisberger struck up a friendly conversation at her desk during the golf tournament last July.

The next night, she said he telephoned her to tell her his television sound system wasn’t working and asked her to look at it. She said she was unable to find a technician so she handled it herself because she had been told it was important to please the celebrities.

In Roethlisberger’s room she said she determined the TV was functioning properly but as she turned to leave, the 6-foot-5, 240-pound quarterback blocked her exit, the suit claims.

The lawsuit said he grabbed her and started to kiss her. It said she was “shocked and stunned that this previously friendly man, that appeared to be a gentleman in her previous contacts with him was suddenly preventing her from leaving, was assaulting her and battering her.”

She said she feared that because he was a football player he could or would physically harm her if she tried to fight him off, but that she objected and protested several times.

“But instead of stopping, Roethlisberger began fondling plaintiff through her dress and between her legs,” the suit said. He then “held her against her will and physically moved plaintiff and pushed her onto his bed” where he raped her, the suit says.

Roethlisberger is not facing criminal charges so if he is guilty he will be getting off lightly even if he has to pay millions of dollars. On the other hand if he is innocent then his reputation and earning ability from endorsements will be damaged even if he never has to pay the woman a dime. Either way an injustice will be done.

Either way we’ll never be sure which injustice it was.

102 Responses

  1. This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I have a real issue with people filing lawsuits for something that is a CRIME, when they haven’t tried to get that crime prosecuted as such.

    Sorry, but you go to the police and have the person tried if there is enough evidence. Filing lawsuits because you were so “damaged”, while not seeking to have the person charged under criminal statutes is bullshit fortune-hunting, IMO. If someone committed a crime against you, then either seek to have them prosecuted or STFU. I am sick and damn tired of this “J’accuse!” crap that makes anyone with deep pockets a target. Lawsuits are for CIVIL matters, not crimes.

  2. I agree these are always ugly, difficult cases. First it’s a person with deep pockets, so you have to be a bit suspicious. But then it’s often exactly the type of person you imagine could have an ego or whatever that would lead them to feel they can do this sort of thing.

    If an innocent person settles, then this sort of thing will go on again and again. Sort of like the fun past time of kidnapping in many countries. Or like spam in our email, if it didn’t work, they wouldn’t do it.

    If a person is raped, and by a rich person, they know the odds are way not in their favor and there’s almost no way to get sympathy or justice.

    I agree, it will be bad for both sides no matter what really happened.

    • I have no idea if he did it or not, but if she is claiming he did then she needs to pursue a criminal investigation. If she can’t get justice that way, then fine, sue.

      But going straight to “lawsuit!” without first trying to prosecute him and see him JAILED is bullshit, and says to me that she is not so much interested in justice as in the fat check he’ll write to settle out of court.

      • Good point. I’ve seen that in companies way too often. For many companies there is the 20K rule. If the law suite is 20K or less, just pay to make it go away because that will actually be cheeper.

      • The standard of proof is much lighter in a civil case. She might not have believed she could have won a criminal case based on hearsay. Basically it would have boiled down to his word versus hers. He could always claim consensual sex. They almost always do.

        • Plus, it seems the alleged incident took place a year ago…. is it possible that the statute of limitations for rape in that area is only a year and she waited too long to charge him criminally….?

        • And also, she would be a huge target if she put the football team in jeopardy. They’ll still hate her, but with a civil suit she has less chance of being harassed or attacked by deranged fans (and yes, everyone would know her identity, shield law or not).

          • As it is they are in all likelihood going to parade her sex life center stage(because if you ever had consensual sex before everyone knows that means you were “asking for it “/snark). For all we know this is what her therapist recommended as part of the healing process. It says she was hospitalized for depression after the incident. She may very well still be coming to terms with the whole incident. This may be what she was advised to do to take back her power.

  3. Wonder if he will be buying his wife a new expensive ring. OK someone had to say it. You know you were thinking it. 🙂

  4. An injustice will be done for sure but I am a huge sports fan and some of these sports heroes are not so heroic. They are over-paid, pampered from the first time they could throw a spiral or pick it at short and if you were left handed with a curve ball fugettaboutit.. Hell, half the Dallas Cowboys have been arrested in a hotel room. I knew Rothlesberger wasn’t too bright after his motorcycle accident. He thought he was invincible.

    • good point . ……im sure we will wait & see how this plays out…

    • Has Roethlisburger ever been accused of similar behavior? I’m sure now there will be copycat accusations as gold diggers and their ambulance chasers try to cash in.
      Seems to me that hotels where these incidents happen ought to have rules in place regarding unescorted workers entering occupied guest rooms.

      • That was my first thought too: Why, oh why did she go to his room alone? I wish women would be more alert or “street-smart” than that. We have to!

        And I’m defenitely not trying to put the blame on her or in any way defend him, as I actually tend to believe that she’s telling the truth about what happened.

    • Cheap shot alert.
      Lots of people are injured or killed by azzwipes who don’t know or care how to drive safely.

  5. Well here’s to hoping that the innocent party is eventually vindicated.

  6. I’m a bit unclear on this story, did he say sex happened but it was consensual, or there never was sex?

    Is he married? Because if he’s claiming it’s the first, then right there he’s admitting adultery so that doesn’t do much for his cred. or his reputation, if he had much of one to begin with.

    Could it also be possible that her lawyer told her no criminal charges because it would be too hard to prove, better to go for the money, and better yet, hope for a settlement, to stay out of court altogether, since she would be dragged through the mud more than he would.
    I’m sure neither one wants that, so I suspect they will settle. Even if she’s just gold digger, I’m sure he’d rather just have this and her go away soon as possible.
    And next time his tv breaks, just read a book!

    • Reading between the lines (“Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone”) I’m guessing sex happened.

      The question is whether it was consensual.

      • His words against hers.

        • “The testimony of the victim alone, if believed by the trier of fact, is sufficient to sustain a conviction”

          • That looks almost as good on paper as the Democratic Party platform.

            Being a female rape victim means they get to analyze what you were wearing. Analyze if you were sexually active and if you were active with how many people. Then there is always the “mentally unhinged” angle.

          • Yep. But we have more than 200 men freed by the Innocence Project from lengthy prison terms, because they were innocent of rape charges. And these were mostly cases in which an accuser identified them–usually in good faith–as the rapist.

            (Eyewitness testimony is about the least reliable type of evidence around; even from rape victims who were with their attacker.)

            Which is why you should never convict anyone on the strength of only one witness, without any other corroborating evidence.

          • Chavez–But those were cases where the assailant wasn’t known to the victim. In this case, the alleged rapist was not only checked into the hotel under his own name but a public figure, so there’s no question of mis-identification.

      • Ah…the art of nuance, you gotta love it!

  7. Flip side:

    What happens if she (or someone else in a similar circumstance) is just making this up? What sort of punishment should there be?

    At present, there is hardly a downside at all to making a false accusation (I have no idea if the present case fits that description); but there have been false accusations in the past, and the “punishment” for this is so slight as to not discourage anyone in the future from doing the same thing.

    • Simple, no criminal complaint, no civil suit.

      • Frankly, MY solution is for men who don’t know a woman well enough to know their charecter to keep it in their pants. It really isn’t that difficult of a concept.

        I get really tired of men who seem to think they can have their one night stands without any consequences. Surprise gentlemen! You too can have consequences!

  8. Had obama been looked into this closely we would not be discussing him . He would be long gone!!

  9. What WMCB said.

  10. “Either way we’ll never be sure which injustice it was.”

    Actually, we will know. This woman will be judged in the court of public opinion as the guilty party, an immoral gold digger. He character will be attacked, she will be paraded across the news, any smut they can find including her past sexual history will become media fodder. By the time this is over she will be viewed as lower then the scum on your shoe.

    People wonder why she didn’t report? She did and her lawsuit includes casino management.

    “When she later told Harrah’s security chief Guy Hyder, the suit said, she was told Harrah’s Tahoe casino president John Koster was close friends with Roethlisberger, and “most girls would feel lucky to get to have sex with someone like Ben Roethlisberger.”…The woman’s lawyer, Cal Dunlap, said in the suit that McNulty fell into a deep depression afterward, and spent most of the last six months in and out of hospitals.”


    I hate cases like this too, because people always want to be “fair” to pretend everything is equal and there are two sides to the story. BS, things are not equal and someone who files rape charges is someone who has lost so much they feel like they have nothing left to lose. Whether she wins this suit or not, it has already cost her more than he will ever have to suffer.

    Let’s get real. I’d rather be a wealthy sports figure accused of rape then a victim trying to prove my case. The system will forgive rape, they won’t forgive a woman who tries to fight back.

    • Thanks so much for your comment, yttik. Frankly, I’m stunned by some of the attitudes on display here and am at a complete loss for words.

    • someone who files rape charges is someone who has lost so much they feel like they have nothing left to lose

      No, that is the case MUCH of the time, but not all of the time. Women do exist out there who will file suit absolutely falsely. I’ve personally known one. And I have personally known women who have threatened to bring false rape charges, and taunted the guy with that threat.

      Genuine rape victims deserve nothing but support, and I am well aware of the shame and public pressure to not report, etc. But to say that NO WOMAN ever accuses falsely, whether for monetary gain or spite, is ridiculous. They do exist.

      • This is why I hate these cases.

        Only two people know what really happened. Both versions are plausible. One of them is lying.

        I don’t know either person and I only know the facts that have been alleged in the news story. I doubt I will ever know enough to conclude who is telling the truth.

        BTW – I despise rapists. There are only a few kinds of scum lower than than a rapist. The only problem I would have with a “1-strike and you’re out” law for convicted rapists is making sure that they are really guilty.

        As Chavez pointed out above, the Innocence Project has freed over 200 men wrongly convicted of rape.

        • This is why I hate these cases.
          Only two people know what really happened. Both versions are plausible. One of them is lying.

          Yep, me too.

      • Yes. They do exist. But to jump to the conclusion that she’s only doing this for the money is worse than ridiculous.

        • When did we do that? I merely said that going for a large civil payoff without attempting to get criminal charges filed for the CRIME is not a good thing IMO, and makes one wonder.

          I believe that in this country, the burden of proof rests on the accuser, not the accused. I don’t reverse that standard just because the accusation is rape.

      • and what puts such a woman in this position? Oh that’s right, it’s men who can’t keep their peckers in their pants.

        When you play Russian Roulette with your sexual partners and engage in casual sex(to the point you don’t even know the charecter of the person you are sleeping with) I refuse to feel sorry for you. I refuse to believe that this isn’t the cosmic/karmic equivalent of women who end up routinely paying for such behavior.

        • But in any consensual sex act, there are TWO parties who needed to use the judgement to know the other person, and “put themselves in that situation”. He can keep his pecker in his pants, and she can shut her legs.

          • My point is that this predicamint wouldn’t have occured at all if this man hadn’t engaged in casual sex. We pillory women for this kind of behavior routinely. Yet men seem to think they should get off scot free(Heck they are looked upon as studs).

            For some reason men are high fived for sleeping around and led to believe there aren’t consequences. There are. You could find yourself on the wrong end of a lawsuit, in jail, or on a sexual predator list(because little girls sometimes like to pretend they are BIG girls).

            I refuse to feel sorry for a man who thinks with his little brain located down below instead of with the one perched upon his shoulders. I’ll reserve my pity for the woman he married.

          • My point is that this predicamint wouldn’t have occured at all if this man hadn’t engaged in casual sex.

            It wouldn’t have occurred if EITHER of them hadn’t engaged in casual sex.

          • Rape is not “casual sex”. Anytime you have “sex” with a woman and she immediately reports you to her supervisors, spends six months being treated for depression, and then goes on to sue you, it wasn’t “sex.” You definitely did something wrong.

          • Well, if we were to go with the assumption that he is “innocent” I’d argue that she could have just as easily gotten “knocked up.”

            He happened to be the one holding the barrel of the gun when the bullet hit the chamber.

            He doesn’t get a single iota of my pity, innocent or not. Hopping into bed with someone that you don’t know doesn’t make you a stud, it makes you an idiot(and apparently in his case, a plaintiff).

          • yttik

            I don’t now the woman’s situation at all. She may have well been having problems prior to the incident. The story is being given from her viewpoint since Harrah’s has declined a statement at this point.

            My point is and continues to be that the situation he finds himself in is the result of his own poor judgement(whether it was consensual sex or not). It isn’t much different then when a woman finds out later on that the man she went to bed with and who promised “baby, I love you” the night before was just using her and has no problem denying paternity.

    • Speaking of being fair, you should post more of that article rather than just the part that supports your assertion (though she didn’t report it to the police). Her civil case is going to be difficult enough as it is without a criminal charge/finding but the “cover-up” claim seems very borderline at best.

  11. I think it is vital that the police conduct thorough and professional investigations of alleged sex crimes. Interviews with suspects and victims should be videotaped, along with photo and in-person line-ups. Evidence should be properly gathered, tested and preserved.

    The victims need to understand that it is critical that they cooperate and are completely honest with the investigators, and not lie or conceal anything, no matter how embarrassing. If the victim is caught in a lie the whole case is usually ruined.

    Both the victim and the accused should be entitled to have their identities shielded, in the defendant’s case at least until the suspect is charged with the crime.

    These cases should not be tried in the media.

  12. Either the man is as stupid as it comes or she is lying. I do not know what to think. He’s guilty the Rooneys will throw his butt off the team. They expect their players to be well behaved.
    I am not saying she is lying because I haven’t heard both sides of the story. I also don’t let media decide one way or another what I think.
    I hope not because I love Big Ben.
    I am not getting into why no criminal charges because I don’t know the woman involved in the case.
    I may even get to be a juror in that case so I really have to keep an open mind.

    • No NFL team is going to cut a star player who hasn’t been arrested let alone convicted of a crime he denies committing. They would have to pay off his contract if they did.

      Maybe they would if he were found liable at a civil trial, which is another reason he might settle out of court.

      An out-of-court settlement is not proof he did anything wrong, and the terms would probably include a clause that the parties would not discuss the case or disclose the amount of the settlement.

  13. To spend so much time claiming ‘there are two sides to every story” is already a form of bias that puts people on the side that believes women often lie about rape just to get money. I realize people believe they are being fair and unbiased, but they are not. If a man is mugged in an alley nobody will discuss how there are two sides to every story, about how they don’t want to pass judgment on the perp. Nobody will say they want to keep an open mind about the crime. He will be immediately believed. There is a clear and obvious double standard when it comes to women who are raped.

    This woman reported the rape to casino management, and then spent the next six months in and out of the hospital with depression. And yet many people’s first thought is we had better give this man the benefit of the doubt. We better worry about him, his reputation, his money, his career, his right to a fair trial, the quality of the investigation. Would you feel that way about the perpetrators of a mugging?

    • Yes, I would. I believe that the standard is “innocent until proven guilty”, last time I checked. The burden of proof is on the accuser, NOT the accused.

      If someone says “Joe Smith mugged me”, and has no evidence whatsoever other than their word, I seriously doubt Joe Smith is going to jail, or paying any restitution. And I WILL presume that Joe Smith is innocent until proven otherwise.

      • “If someone says “Joe Smith mugged me”, and has no evidence whatsoever other than their word….”

        I seriously doubt that. If a man walks in claiming to have been robbed, absolutely nobody hearing his story is going to stand there and demand that he prove it, here on this website, because we aren’t talking about what goes on in a court of law, we’re expressing opinions about the incident.

        • Like anyone will question what on earth he was thinking carrying cash and credit cards in his wallet and then tell him that he “asked for it.” Or accuse him of just wanting to bilk the person who mugged him.

      • Well then I guess those men the Innocence Project freed should have stayed in jail because a court of law originally found them guilty. I don’t know where you live but I’d love to live in a world where the verdict is always right. But court decisions are often wrong; and time and again a guilty person walks while an innocent man does time.

        I seriously hope you recuse yourself if you’re ever on jury duty for a rape case because you seem to have a very fixed opinion about women who “j’accuse.”

        • No, I don’t have a fixed opinion – I’ve said that I have no idea if a rape occurred or not. You, however, seem to be really angry with me for not assuming the man’s guilt. So which of us has a fixed opinion?

          I DO, however, have the opinion that the burden of proof is on the accuser. And by the way, my approach to a criminal charge of rape is very different from a lawsuit seeking a cash settlement.

          • You really should go back and read your first comments:

            I am sick and damn tired of this “J’accuse!” crap that makes anyone with deep pockets a target.

            I haven’t said where I stand on this case because I don’t have enough information. From the little that’s available, her story sounds credible but we still need to hear his side. And, I’m certainly not going to accuse her of gold digging just because she chose a civil suit over a criminal one.

            IF, however, it turns out to be true that the casino deterred her from reporting the crime, I think they should pay through the nose AND have criminal charges brought against them. That’s the sort of cr@p that gets my blood boiling.

          • gxm, the context of that remark was my contention that rape needs to be prosecuted for the CRIME it is, not made a cash cow. I have a very different view of criminal charges of rape than I do lawsuits for money. If you do not file charges, but instead go after the money, then that to me is reason for suspecting the story, and IMO those type cases do a disservice to the cause of women who DO report rapes to the police, and attempt to see prosecution.

            You can accuse me of being unsympathetic to rape victims if you want, but you don’t know me, or to what extent I have experience with rape victims. Suit yourself.

  14. “My point is that this predicamint wouldn’t have occured at all if this man hadn’t engaged in casual sex. ”

    Oh come on. Now you sound like a hypocritical family-values Republican lecturing women that if we kept our legs crossed they wouldn’t have to worry about having abortions.

    I don’t care how many sexual partners either one of these people has had, it’s irrelevant. You’re implying that a man who sleeps around is “asking for” a rape accusation. How far off is that from saying that a woman who sleeps around, or is as a sex worker, is “asking for” a rape?

    • The truth of the matter is that if you don’t know who you are sleeping with then you shouldn’t be surprised when and if there are consequences. Whether those consequences be concieving or finding yourself on the wrong end of a accusation.

      From where I am sitting saying that you should be careful who you choose to have sex with is a far cry from saying that a person should have the choice of having or not having sex taken from them.

  15. “…our legs crossed we wouldn’t have to worry…” More coffee please.

    • I would argue that woman who has casual sex can find herself facing consequences just as dire. If you pick the wrong man you could find yourself with an eighteen year obligation that you are facing solely on your own or facing a medical procedure that could effect your entire life.

      One night stands are the equivalent of Russian Roulette for both sexes.

  16. “And yet many people’s first thought is we had better give this man the benefit of the doubt. We better worry about him, his reputation, his money, his career, his right to a fair trial, the quality of the investigation.”

    Yeah, it’s called our system of justice.

    • In a court of law perhaps, but not here. There is no other crime but sexual assault where all the concern and focus and worry is about the perpetrator.

      From reading this thread, it is obvious that many people view Ben Roethlisberger as the victim who must be sheltered, protected, defended.

      • Not from my viewpoint. If he is a victim, it was because of a choice he made. It isn’t like he is accusing her of raping him. Frankly, it sounds like someone might need to relook at the concept of quality over quantity and actually might want to consider that hopping into bed with someone without any idea of their frame of mind of mind or content of their charecter might just be a bad idea.

        Sure, sex is a part of who we, as individuals are, it isn’t the sum though. As long as sex is treated as the sum, there are going to be consequences.

        • I agree cwaltz. I think it is extremely rare for women to lie about rape, but if you believe they do and you are a rich celebrity, then I suggest you protect yourself accordingly by not having sex with strangers you don’t know.

          • I empathize with her side. I have little doubt I’d be a poor jurist.

            You’d figure someone could come up with the equivalent of a prenup for these guys always arguing the sex was consensual.

            I, the undersigned, am choosing to engage in casual sex with Mr. Sportsguy with the sole purpose of bragging rights and orgasms yadda, yadda, yadda……

        • Does your standard also apply to women who can’t keep their legs closed or just men who can’t keep it in their pants?

          • My standard applies to both sexes. I can’t begin to count the number of women I know who regret that they didn’t know Guy A was an asshat BEFORE they slept with him.

      • “There is no other crime but sexual assault where all the concern and focus and worry is about the perpetrator.”

        Ben Roethlisberger is not being, and apparently will not be, charged with a crime.

        • Just because you ren’t charged with a crime doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t guilty of one.

          • Well, you’d be a lot closer to finding out the truth with a criminal charge since the ultimate purpose of one is to determine guilt as opposed to guessing based on civil accusation.

          • I don’t agree. The burden of proof would make it harder to convict (since freedom rather than financial worth is at stake) but just because it isn’t met doesn’t necessarily make him innocent of the actual crime. I’m not the young ladies lawyer but I would imagine that a year after the fact makes it a little difficult to gather evidence.

  17. You are really twisting what people are saying here.

    “There is no other crime but sexual assault where all the concern and focus and worry is about the perpetrator. ”

    I would really like to see some evidence of this statement, which seems exxaggerated. I don’t think there’s any crime where people worry about the perpetrator — but in a fair and just society they worry about anybody being falsely accused of anything, or being tried in the media.

    Again, I think you’re completely misstating the crux of peoples’ arguments here. Nobody is assuming guilt or innocence or stating which of these two people is lying. It’s
    impossible to know, that’s the whole point of an investigation and a fair trial — things you seem to think should be abandoned because this is a rape case.

  18. “Nobody is assuming guilt or innocence or stating which of these two people is lying.”

    Really?? Well let me recap some of the words that have been said here:

    “bullshit fortune-hunting?”

    “Filing lawsuits because you were so “damaged” (damaged in quotations as if you must be making it up)

    “she is not so much interested in justice as in the fat check he’ll write”

    I think your opinion is pretty clear. You believe she is lying.

    • Not just lying but lying to extort money.

      • which means you have already reached a conclusion which is no different than someone who has concluded that HE is the guilty party.

        • Exactly! Because she’s the victim, it’s okay to find her guilty until proven innocent. Only the alleged rapists are innocent until proven guilty.

          • Frankly, at best he was guilty of poor judgement. It evidently never crossed his mind that he could find himself at the wrong end of a lawsuit. (Hello, Mr sportsguy do you READ? You certainly aren’t the first guy to find yourself in this predicament.) At worst, well I don’t even want to tell anyone what he deserves if he did rape her(I can guarantee it involves far more than having to give up money).

  19. “My standard applies to both sexes. I can’t begin to count the number of women I know who regret that they didn’t know Guy A was an asshat BEFORE they slept with him.”

    It doesn’t sound like it. Seems like you’ve been saying that a guy who can’t keep it in his pants and gets accussed of something was asking for trouble so too bad for him but a woman who can’t keep her legs closed was just a victim of a male asshat as opposed to someone who was also asking for trouble. Either way, it’s sounds like guy bad-women victim or heads I win, tails you lose..

    • What I am saying is there is exactly what I have said throughout the thread. You’ll find my comments peppered throughout that say it just as easily could have been her facing a pregancy and asked to prove paternity(because there are consequences for women too.

      Lying isn’t something either sex has the market on which is why KNOWING the charecter of the person you are sleeping with might actually come in handy.

      I’ll repeat it again since you obviously missed it above thread. One night stands are Russian Roulette for either sex. Our sexual identities are part of who we are but they aren’t the sum of who we are. If you aren’t considering the sum then you can end up with some pretty dire consequences up to and including winding up in court.

      • “My point is and continues to be that the situation he finds himself in is the result of his own poor judgement(whether it was consensual sex or not). It isn’t much different then when a woman finds out later on that the man she went to bed with and who promised “baby, I love you” the night before was just using her and has no problem denying paternity.”

        I long got your “actions have consequences” and moralistic take on this but your above slant is interesting. In the above, the “loose” man was, apprently solely, responsible for the situation he finds himself in while the “loose” woman was the victim of a guy who was using her in addition to her own mistaken judgement. Those are not equal standards.

        • Yep, he is responsible for getting into bed with her. Perhaps he should have considered beforehand that it was within the realm of possibility that hopping into bed with someone who he didn’t know enough about (certainly not enough to ascertain she was mentally stable or if she was above lying)was a bad idea.

          The analogy is meant to prove that both men and women are not above lying when it suits.

          For every woman accused of lying to gain benefit through sex I can probably find a man just as willing to lie to be the beneficiary of sex. The way to avoid all the drama is not to engage in sex until you have a fairly decent grasp as to who you are sleeping with as a whole(as opposed to just worrying about the big O) whether male or female.

        • Oh and I am not going to apologize for having morals either. Although I would argue that it is less about morality and more about the ability to learn from mistakes. I almost had to raise my first child on my own(I say almost because I met my husband when my son was an infant). My engagement in casual sex resulted in a child. The father wasn’t emotionally ready to be a parent(Fortunately, at this point I was financially capable of going it alone). I know other young women who were less fortunate and end up having to rely on the state.

          I’ll not for a minute pretend I didn’t enjoy the consensual sex that resulted in my son(I know I know I should positively be ashamed of myself for being such a brazen hussy. I actually enjoy sex, and my sexuality and I’m female) I’ll also not pretend for a minute that the result was not the consequences of my poor judgement and my inabilty to forsee that the sex might end with a consequence. I’m just lucky that in my case my son was not also forced to suffer through a childhood without a father figure simply because of my poor judgement or that I was smart enough to learn from my mother’s mistakes and not tether myself to a man I didn’t love for the convenience of saying my son had a daddy.

          My anecdote aside, nobody forced this man to go to bed with a woman who he apparently did not know well enough to determine whether she was emotionally sound(apparently it was more important to him to just ascertain that she was physically available if I were to give him the benefit of the doubt).

          One more time. Sexuality is a part of who we are but it isn’t the sum. The fact that a person makes themselves physically available does not necessarily mean that it’s a good idea to hop in bed with them. Not when you haven’t considered their charecter and the ramifications that could potentially occur as a result of going to bed with them. One night stands are Russian Roulette because you don’t have time to consider much more than the physical attributes a person is bringing to the table. You aren’t capable of really looking at a person in their entirety.

          This is all assuming I believe the guy didn’t rape her. That is making the assumption that she had problems that would have required months of hospitalization(as suggested in the article since she WAS hospitalized)before he got through with her.

  20. He is being treated with kid gloves in this matter. Do you think they would believe her over the most popular quarterback in the country. I bet if Vick had done this it would be a top story. He was brought to his knees for dogs, this is a human and no one cares

    • Kid gloves?

      He hasn’t been charged with a crime, he has had a civil suit filed against him. What should be done to him while this case is unfolding?

      Should an professional athlete at the prime of his career be suspended or fired until the case is resolved? That could take years, and if he is cleared he will never get those years back.

      Anthing that is done to him now would be a punishment for something that it hasn’t been proven he did yet.

    • Roethlisberger is the most popular quarterback in the country? That’s debatable.

      • Especially in New England, Baltimore, and a few other big cities.

        Oakland fans don’t much care for that “tuck rule” guy who plays QB in Boston neither.

        • I wasn’t thinking of Brady. He’s been gone for a year. I just don’t see Roethlisberger as that popular. Maybe I’m wrong.

          • well I’m from PA and he is quite popular and has a ring…. He certainly is a major player

    • Vick was brought to his knees because he was running a dog fighting ring…and had dead dogs and a mountain of other evidence on his property. kind of a different case, wouldn’t you say?

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