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Tears of a Clown

What's the matter?  Don't ya like clowns?

What's the matter? Don't ya like clowns?

I don’t blog to be liked.

I didn’t come here because I was lonely and wanted to make new friends.  I started blogging because I have strong opinions and a compulsive need to inflict them on other people.

I intentionally cultivated an obnoxious online persona and chose an ugly homicidal clown as my avatar because I want my arguments to stand on their own.  I don’t want people to agree with me because they like me, I want them to agree with me because they think I’m right.

If Person A says 2 + 2 = 4 and Person B says 2 + 2 = 3 then I will say that Person A is right and Person B is wrong, even if Person A is a jerk and Person B is a saint and a friend.  And I’m not going to change my position even if all my other friends side with Person B.  It’s not about how I feel about Person A or Person B, it’s about what I think is true.

Last year we saw people we liked and respected fall victim to Kool-aid logic.  They liked Obama and wanted to be part of the “in” crowd so suddenly they had no problem believing that Hillary was a racist bitch and that it was okay to call Sarah Palin a stupid c*nt.  They turned on Hillary supporters like rabid chihuahuas and attacked us as Republican ratf*ckers despite the years we spent advocating liberal causes and beliefs.

I’m not claiming to be infallible but if I have to choose between being right and being liked then I will never be popular, and I’ll never get to sit with the kewl kidz.

I can live with that.

43 Responses

  1. My name is Kat5 and I have a confession: I, too, am unkewl. Maybe that’s why I like you, myiq, in spite of your avatar’s homicidal tendencies. Consider unkewlness an advanced state of being – it’s where we safely land after having navigated the straits of kewl, upchucking all the way.

  2. Yours is a healthy point of view and, like you, I have nothing to prove either.

    I used to think of myself as a liberal and a progressive. Not anymore. I think of myself as Independant. I do not subscribe to the Republican or Democrat machines who seek to control us and manipulate us all for their personal gain. Just look at the news reports on Democrats and Republicans in Congress. Pay for play is the norm and not just the Chicago way.

    We need third party candidates. I know that trying to get a new party is an uphill climb, but the more I read and hear I think it is the only way we can restore our Constitutional form of government.

    I

  3. I kinda have the notion that many of us here were not always in the kewl kidz crowd, but more like the kidz who got stuff done crowd

    It’s been a rough year all around – but I think we’ve made some real headway – Dakinikat has scoop up all the input and is doing a great job sorting our input – PUMAs just want to get on with putting the pieces of our constitution, primaries, honest votes, etc. back together again – the heck with those screwballs who want credit for undone work and to control us – let’s just move on. 🙂

    Hoooray for Klown!

  4. Damn, that is one ugly clown.

    But you, whether you care or like it or not, I love myiq 🙂

    And since when has the majority ever been right–or kewl? We’re not joiners, we’re PUMAs. They prowl on their own, with confidence.

  5. Who would have thought a year ago that so many of us loyal democrats would not have a party to call home? As the year went on, it got worse and worse for us, so many staying to go down with the Hillary ship, so to speak. If it were not for this blog and several others who understood and understand, life would have been intolerable during the 2008 election year. I think we all were beat up (verbally) by friends, relatives and co-workers who drank the kool-aid and were mega upset that we did not follow suit. Trying to reason with Obots using facts and figures became impossible and some people I thought were friends still are not speaking to me. I am still trying to recover from finding out that democrats are just as corrupt as republicans.

    • Susan:

      Trying to reason with Obots using facts and figures became impossible and some people I thought were friends still are not speaking to me. I am still trying to recover from finding out that democrats are just as corrupt as republicans.

      I gave up trying long ago.

  6. A long time ago I wrote a post on how I think what drew us all together is that we are outsiders. We all had some experiences where we felt outside the consensus reality and were able to see things more clearly. That ability to step back and see the world stripped of all the rules and norms is what made us see what Obama was. I don’t know if that makes sense. But that post got a huge reaction. People wrote about their experiences of feeling different and outside or uncool.

    What made us see that Obama was a phony when so many other people bought the con? We’re nonconformists. We’re not afraid to stick to our guns even when everyone disagrees with us.

    I guess what has happened is another peeling of that onion. Some people could step outside of the Obama hypnosis, but they have some other hypnosis they can’t step outside of. ‘

    And that’s OK. People have different needs and differences in their ability to accept change. It’s just the need to blame somone else for your choices that is the problem.

    For me, it was a problem that I couldn’t just let it roll off my back. I really do kind like people to like me–just not to the point that I will change who am to make that happen.

    • I didn’t say I don’t want to be liked, it’s just not a priority

      • The nice thing is that all kinds of people like you Myiq (and you too Boston) just because you have integrity…and can see through the nonsense that was/is Obama’s campaign/presidency.

      • Well that’s good, because I like you whether you want me to or not.

    • It’s true bb. I was also thinking that this experience also reveals another way in which we all have our triggers, and our blind spots. Einstein said the definition of genius is to be able to hold two diametrically opposing thoughts simultaneously. Many people cannot tolerate that kind of dissonance, and react intensely, trying to categorize and force things into a box. Good vs. evil, right vs. wrong. Gray makes people uncomfortable. We are outsiders alright–outside the box. Fine with me–I get claustrophobic in a box.

  7. Myiq, I said this to dakinikat below, and I’ll say it here as well: I really like that TC has not become an echo chamber, and I applaud RD and you and others for keeping it from becoming so.

    I really don’t understand people who are so deeply, terribly discomfited and alarmed by the simple fact that everyone doesn’t agree with them on everything. I like that we can disagree and still like each other, still respect each other. You don’t seem to see disagreement as a personal threat – and I like that about you.

    I am sure that when the principles we are working on get nailed down for PUMA and TC, they are not going to be absolutely 100% in agreement with my views. Guess what? I don’t plan to get the vapors over that. If I wait around for a group that totally agrees with me in every detail, including the order of importance of those details, I will be a party of exactly one. Either that or I’ll have to bend and twist what I truly think in order to “fit in” and parrot what I’m “supposed” to parrot.

    Like you, I don’t want validation, and am not looking for it. I’m looking for general consensus, and a lively ongoing conversation about the rest. I’m LOOKING for disagreement – and if it’s not there, if it’s pushed out, then I am going to be sorely disappointed. I don’t want PUMA or TC to become ME. The world doesn’t need another masturbatory blog.

    • Oh, crap, spammy got me again.

    • Again, that’s what I like about Hillary. She could debate anyone, anywhere, anytime, and not lose her composure. She is so strong in her own core principles and knowledge, that it doesn’t affect her personally if someone else objects or attacks her. That is real strength. BO is so thin-skinned, he gets all pissy if he is challenged in any significant way. Applause only, please. Blech.

      • Hillary sat down with one of her most rabid opponents (Richard Mellon Scaife) and impressed him.

        She didn’t caricature or demonize him.

        • Not to be ageist here, but I sometimes wonder if some of this group-think and aversion to disagreement is generational.

          Seriously, we have all these kids growing up who have rarely if ever been told they are wrong, or exposed to criticism at all. One study I saw said that something like 60% of college students have many of the earmark characteristics of narcissism, and I’m not surprised.

        • That’s one of the things that made me admire and respect her even though I might be more liberal than she is on a lot of issues.

          • I suspect Hillary’s a lot more liberal than she appears. But she’s also pragmatic and a realist and knows that (in the past, anyway) the majority of Americans deem me and my country (waving at you from just north of the 49th parallel) socialists (which is just plain crazy! We’re pampered capitalists with a love of universal health care, a wide social net and a belief in separation of church and state).

            I have American ties, and used to have “relations” with a Clintonista…he had insider knowledge, and tremendous admiration, about the current lovely and talented Secretary of State.

          • Nicole: I agree. I think Hillary is very liberal, but as I said, she is also a pragmatic politician and knows to get things done, you have to build coalitions. She has admitted that she moved too fast on UHC and it was like “walking into a buzz saw.” That is what BO is finding out now. In his arrogance, he is flailing all over the place, and as a result, is pissing people off all across the political spectrum. In her heart, she is a flaming liberal–as a politician, a centrist. Bill too.

        • Scaife is a real piece of work. He spent millions trying to destroy the Methodist church, since it is so mainstream and believes in dinosaurs and reaches out to gays and such. IIRC, Hillary is Methodist.

      • That is what drew me to her in the first place.

    • On the other hand, there are some things that I don’t really want to talk about here. I don’t want to talk to someone who is anti-gay or anti-choice, because that’s beyond the pale for me. The Confluence is a liberal blog, and there are some issues that are basic for us.

      And it could be that for the people who got so angry with us, it’s just completely beyond the pale if someone disagrees with them about that one particular issue. And that’s fine too. So leave and go your way, but don’t call me names and blame me for your need to leave.

      • BB:

        I have an uncle who is Gay. I had many a friend when I was in my twenty’s who were gay or lesbian. Some I have lost contact with. Some have died from AIDS and still others are close family friends.

        I try not to discuss the gay/Lesbian thing with people I do not know. It has caused many a fight and I once broke a man’s jaw over his remarks. So, like you, I try not to get into this with people I do not personally know and even then I tend to walk away.

  8. Thanks for this post, myiq2xu.

  9. I never have sat with the KewlKidz. Never once bothered me. Usually the Kewlies were wrong about most everything since school. There is a line from Stardust:

    “I can tell you that all the men I ever envied as a boy have lived unremarkable lives. So you don’t fit with the popular crowd? I’d take that as a very good omen.”

  10. Bravo!

  11. I think what bothered me the most about this group of so-called “progressives” is that they seemed to have lost all sense of humanity. The hateful things I saw written about Sarah Palin’s infant son (yes, even HE was attacked) was so beyond the pale that it actually brought me to tears. Because I defended Sarah and her family, I was kicked off of blogs that I had been visiting for over a year and they were regulars on my blog. Now, I’m the pariah among many of my past blogger friends and I won’t say that this doesn’t hurt. However, I would rather close my blog and walk away than associate with anyone who would stoop so low as to make fun of a child with Down’s Syndrome….or any child (or teenager) for that matter.

    • That is what has bothered me most of all too–having to accept that not just Republicans participate in smear campaigns and lie about their opponents.

  12. Me too, SOD. I can get pretty sappy. I was just so relieved that I wasn’t alone in thinking Obama was a con man. These place was a refuge for me during the election season. But now we have to find ways to move forward, and maybe some of the people who shared the refuge with us will need to go elsewhere. Fortunately they are still on the internet for anyone who wants to find them.

  13. “it’s about what I think is true.”

    (nodding,)

    Thank you for posting this, myiq2xu. It’s well said.

  14. Yeah thank you MYIQ…
    *hugs*
    New post upstairs! *wink*

  15. ZOMG! And I fell in love with him for the teeth!

  16. I’ve never really though of the Confluence as unkewl. A lot of the writers and readers are educated and/or professionals even if they’re low key about it. That’s not a hoola hoop groupthink kind of kewl, but it’s not exactly riffraff either.

  17. I love being unkewl. I was against the Iraq War and George W. Bush when both of those things were unkewl. Look where we are now.

    The unkewl have good judgment.

  18. For the record, I think you are swell even if I disagree with your postings from time to time. I appreciate that you don’t sugar coat things and have no qualms stating where you stand. If I had to choose between hanging with people who tell me what they think I want to hear or people telling me what they think I need to hear I choose the latter.

    I’m going to compliment you myiq. You remind me of my better half. He goes toe to toe with me if he feels I have something wrong. I recognize myself as fallible, so I appreciate that he can and will find any flaws in my logic and expose it to light of day. He keeps me grounded and on my toes and that is a gift.

  19. Sometimes you make me laugh, some times you piss me off, but you almost always make me think. I like that. And I miss you when you aren’t around. I find your sense of humor delightful. And I admire you and many others here at TC who voice their strong opinions without regard for their own personal popularity, but because it’s the right thing to do. (This goes not only for the posters but also for the commenters.)

    I say, sock it me, let it all hang out, all of that.

  20. What you described seems to be the defining trait of most PUMA and also something that is present in a very small percentage of the population. Solomon Asch studied this in his classic social conformity experiments.

    I’ve seen it explained elsewhere that the people that don’t conform in the experiment are strongly independent with high self-esteem. I also suspect that people with certain personality disorders may also exhibit the same non-conforming behavior. Most follow-up studies focus on the people that conform at least some of the time, I haven’t been able to find any that try and explain the people that never conform.

    This trait is a key element in why I think that a forming a formal third-party is not viable in the future of PUMA. Herding cats anyone?

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