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I love shopping online! I have to ask myself , could I get any more indolent than I am now? I mean, how much easier can they make it for you then by keying in your credit card number (and in many instances they remember it for you for God’s sake!) while all you are required to do is just hit the “Submit” button and wait for the latest thing to arrive. It’s like Christmas all year round!

I must have been bored this week because I was very busy as you will see. It even required my credit card company to call and ask if these purchases were actually mine. Yes, yes, I replied, not to worry, I was just in that kind of mood.

My ink cartridge to my printer went dry so I ordered a new one online to the tune of $26.00 and the roll started from there.

The undercounter radio that I have had for about 12 years suddenly stopped working. I loved that radio which also came with a light and timer. Off I went to the computer in search of a new one and found almost the exact same item only this time upgraded to contain a c.d. player and an instant weather report! Order placed, address given, credit card recorded, and “submit”. Easier then fighting the crowds. And who can actually go without having an instant weather report at their fingertips? This item had my name engraved right on it.

Eventually I found myself tuning into Home Shopping Network trying to find ideas for a gift for my son in law for his upcoming birthday. But I had tuned into the “cleaning” segment which was holding a demonstration of a bathroom tile product assuring miracles. For $18.00 I was guaranteed a look of new tiles which they assured me was better than replacing the entire bathroom so I was hooked! I placed my order, telling myself that $18.00 was enough to satisfy my desire to have a bathroom that shone from top to bottom! Candy Spelling, eat your heart out!

A day or two later I was “beckoned” to Amazon (we are on first name basis by the way since as soon as I logon they greet me with “hello Patricia”). How many clerks at Target can say the same I ask? Anyway, they had a sale in their used book section and I took the bait. To the tune of $22.00. Not bad, I told myself. And some of those items are gems. Complete form and “submit”. Beats the prices at Barnes and Noble and no problem parking. I am doing good!!

Back to Home Shopping where today’s “hot pick” was a car battery charger that could be plugged into a cigarette lighter and guaranteed to start your car without the mess and worry of cables. For $24.00 I could kiss away those fears of being stuck in the dead of night in a lonely spot with only the wolves and a few hearty lurkers looking on. Again, another purchase on the way.

However, I wasn’t quite done. The next “special” of the day featured a prepaid cellphone for $49.00, no shipping and handling, equipped with a camera, voicemail, text messaging, along with carrying case and two rechargers! As this item had no a no contract clause as well as 300 prepaid minutes included, who could resist! Since one of my granddaughters had broken my other cellphone, I felt the absolute need to rush to the computer and again make a purchase without leaving the house! This time HSN asked for my birthdate! Obviously we are breaking down barriers here.

My daughter in law is running in the Boston Marathon in April for the Mass Eye Center and had pledged to raise $5,000. Seeing that her mother had already made a donation I doubled my pledge to $150.00. I want my daughter in law to make her goal but I also wanted to look good in my son’s eyes! (I am also very shallow in many respects but that is neither here nor there.) The cause is a good one and she has been training for months in all kinds of weather. Besides, online donations are easy and quick!

But wait, I am not done! While browsing through Overstock.com I came across an oil painting that would look great on my living room wall. That wall has been driving me nuts for months. It “needed” something. So, credit card in hand, I placed another order. I was thrilled!

Back to HSN where they featured a “nozzle” for $18.00 which had a 5 way function. You can sprinkle your flowers and shrubs, wash the car, hose down the deck, clear your gutters, and wash windows all with the flick of a wrist! Could I get any more excited? I think not so back I went online in the hopes that the item had not sold out. Another “best buy” was on the way. And I also saluted myself for the simple fact that I was assisting a faltering economy while I was at it. “Two birds with one stone” as they say. Attack my commonsense, if you will, but leave my patriotism alone!

My granddaughter also has a birthday coming up and what better way to say “I love you” then a wardrobe for her American Girl doll! The damned item cost about $50.00 which is more than I spend on my own wardrobe but she is adorable and loves her Emily Doll, so why not. Chalk up another online sale. Grandma just loves her little Olivia!

One of my sons looked at me like I had just announced that I was planning on selling the house and moving in with him when I mentioned the car battery charger. I think his exact words were along the lines of “are you nuts? Those things do not work!” Another ungrateful child asked if I was planning on spending all of his “inheritance”. My daughter was less vocal but came equipped with nursing home brochures that she thought I may want to peruse. A third son inquired about the last time I cleaned the gutters and pointed out that I do not have a deck.

I have yet to buy my son in a law a birthday gift but there are so many online outlets that I am not worried. And the beauty of this is that one need not be “dressed” or “properly turned out” to shop online. That is until Home Shopping insists in the future that all sales be done by Webcam, then I may just have to alter my online habits. But for now I am “good”. I just need to remember to tip the mail carrier a little more this Christmas. And I think I know where I can order that “perfect gift”……..

63 Responses

  1. My nozzle can sprinkle the flowers and shrubs, but you can’t wash the car or hose down the deck with it.

  2. Ah shopping. Here’s a good one for you:

    It’s Toni Basil’s music video about shopping. Very silly.

  3. Pat, ROFL!

    Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this,

    with most online retailers, returns are easy! 😉

    A return label is usually included with your order so if you buy something that you later decide totally sucks, wrap it, slap the label on, and leave it outside for the UPS guy.

    (You know the UPS guy will be swinging by your place
    once or twice in the next day or two, dont you?)

  4. Pat, I am deeply grateful to you. I admit that I’ve been cutting back on my on line purchases. Perhaps we can organize round robin splurging to keep the economy afloat. Our patriotic duty!

    Love this: “It even required my credit card company to call and ask if these purchases were actually mine.”

    Catarina, that is one of my fears. The UPS driver was a regular, now I’ll probably have to display my house number so that it can be seen from the road. : (

  5. Hey, I’m on a first name basis with Amazon too! I’m trying really hard to cut down…

  6. Your kids sound like mine LOL. I’ve learned to be very quick at changing tabs when I’m browsing over something to buy. Furthermore I lie outright over the prices of things.

    Mind you I haven’t bought much stuff lately-ebay’s charm has been wearing off. 😦

  7. hey Pat
    Empire Wine delivers a great selection of fine wines right to your door!

    • See, it is “tips” like these that I live for!

      • I’ve gotten to the point that I buy practically everything from Amazon–not just books and DVDs, but gardening equipment, tea, kitchen tools, appliances, you name it. They have the cheapest prices around.

        • And those special days that announce “no shipping and handling”. Who can pass up that bargain??

          • I hate to admit this, but I am an Amazon “Prime” customer. I get everything with free 2-day shipping. It’s nearly instant gratification!

        • Amazon is a horrible employer. I refuse to patronize them for the same reasons I would never give Kmart or WalMart a dime.

          It isn’t worth the savings when fellow middle, lower income people are abused at the hands of the company. Jeff Bezos has gathered himself one hefty fortune on the backs of the workers he either pays minimum, or tricks temporaries into doing at the prospect of becoming a real employee, which will never happen. He’s a revolving door for temps.

          • I didn’t know that about Amazon. Not that I buy all that much there, but it’s going to but it’s going to be even less now!

  8. Bluefly.com is offering an extra 20% off today!!!!

  9. pat you should never pay s&h.

    or full price!

    there are always discount codes

    just google the name of the retailer plus “free shipping” and ‘coupon” or “promo code”

    retailmenot.com or couponcabin.com are sites where you can find codes, to name a few

    I’m never going to the mall again, never.

  10. Malls are miles away — and the selection is pathetic.

    So I’ve turned to online shopping —

    Around Xmas time lots of stuff was reduced — so my trusty credit card was put to work.

    I love the post season sells — buying summer clothes in the winter etc.

    In the long run I’m saving money on fuel and time plus I can get what I want not the choices of the store buyers.

  11. (giggling)

    Pat, I ended up reading the whole thing out loud! Laughing and laughing!

    You made it all up. Right?

    • Nope, unfortunately these items will soon be appearing at my home!

      • Don’t feel bad, Pat. You should have seen the spree I went on for my birthday and Christmas (both in the same month). Now I can barely buy food. But so what, I have a lovely pair of red Wayfarers, red bag and wallet, and all kinds of other stuff.

  12. Oh, joy! Sorry to be OT, but I just heard that 0bama is working away at filling those open positions.

    Latest is the guy he is putting in charge of his new Food Safety Group. Who is it?

    Only Michael Taylor – a former freaking LAWYER & LOBBYIST FOR MONSANTO!

  13. I saw something this week about how you’re unconsciously more likely to buy if you’re sad or stressed. After being exposed to sad stimuli people were way more likely to find objects desierable and want to buy them than those exposed to neutral stimuli. So not visiting shopping sites after reading about politics, only before, might help cut down on spending. 🙂

  14. At Christmas time, I found it was cheaper to order from Amazon and have items directly shipped than to box things up and ship them myself. I ordered $25 worth of books for my niece and Amazon did the shipping for free, plus they had a buy 3 books get one free deal, so my niece got a pretty nice box full of books (my sister bought about $20.00 worth of stuff at the mall and ended up paying over $10.00 for shipping, so overall I think I got the better deal).

    And, for my relatives in Canada, I ended up purchasing from an on-line Canadian site and was able to save a lot on international shipping and they didn’t have to pay that nasty tax (GST) they would have had to pay if I had shipped from Amazon.

    Off topic, but I was surprised to see that Obama is making the CEO of GM step down. I guess there is one standard for Citi and AIG and another for the car makers (that doesn’t at all seem arbitrary and capricious does it, especially considering that the car makers don’t have the same level of responsibility for creating the financial crisis).


    “GM and Chrysler have to prove their viability as a condition of a federal bailout released under former President George W. Bush, and both have asked the current administration for more money. Ford has not sought federal funds because it had secured a line of credit just before money dried up.

    Obama said Friday in an interview with CBS’s “Face the Nation,” broadcast Sunday, that the carmakers were going to have to do more.

    “There’s been some serious efforts to deal with a combination of long-standing problems in the auto industry,” the president told host Bob Schieffer. “What we’re trying to let them know is that we want to have a successful auto industry, U.S. auto industry. We think we can have a successful U.S. auto industry. But it’s got to be one that’s realistically designed to weather this storm and to emerge at the other end much more lean, mean and competitive than it currently is.

    “And that’s gonna mean a set of sacrifices from all parties involved — management, labor, shareholders, creditors, suppliers, dealers. Everybody’s gonna have to come to the table and say it’s important for us to take serious restructuring steps now in order to preserve a brighter future down the road.””

  15. So why didn’t Obama do that with the Wall St. bankers? I guess those auto guys did not give as much to the O.

    • When are people going to wake up and think about what’s going on?

      For AIG, the treasury was concerned about law suits and maintaining talented employees, so they inserted a special bonus saving clause in the stimulus bill.

      For GM and the other car makers, Obama says “that’s gonna mean a set of sacrifices from all parties involved — management, labor, shareholders, creditors, suppliers, dealers.” No concern about breaking contracts or losing talented employees (I hope the Unions are happy).

      The government gets to pick winners and losers, and somehow I’m sure the winners are the ones who financed Obama’s election.

    • That was my first reaction.

    • Why do you get better teachers with more money but you get better car workers with less money? This less money thing doesn’t seem to work well. Look at the AIG head, Liddy, who gets only a dollar a year. His advice seems to be worthless. And all these Wall Street guys, who got gazillions, made horrible decisions.

  16. I think Pat you have the right idea. We should just shop. I find watching the Sunday tv talkers is too painful. Maybe not too bad on Fox but the rest are just echo chambers for the one and no one is asking any hard questions. Other than Gates sending a skewed message today did anything happen to shake up the one. I am so glad he can find some time for these appearances what with all those new toys he won.

  17. Another great post Pat! I’m finding myself shopping more lately too (and mostly online). I’ve been pretty frugal since Christmas–in fact, I didn’t buy a thing. And then I bought one thing, a replacement for something that had broken, and then it was like a floodgate opened!

  18. OT:

    Jan 14/09: Obama will end ‘don’t ask’ policy


    March 29/09: Gates: No change soon on `don’t ask, don’t tell’


    • I cannot believe that any GLBT person voted for this guy, or that they continue to make excuses for him. He is so obviously homophobic it’s insane. His discomfort is palpable.

      No candidate was 100% perfect on gay rights, simply because of the political realities. but at least with Hillary one knew that she genuinely cared, and had a history of working and doing what she could to advance them. She is comfortable with gay people, completely at ease.

  19. Pat…step away from the credit card… 🙂

    & an update on the Emperor’s Grand Tour:

    Prospect of Barack Obama show causes UK to clear its decks

    With an entourage of 500 staff, an armour-plated limousine and a fleet of decoy helicopters, America’s new president will arrive for his first visit to Britain amid huge razzmatazz on Tuesday for the G20 summit.

    In addition, a team from the White House kitchen will travel with the president to prepare his food. As one official put it: “When the president travels, the White House travels with him, right down to the car he drives, the water he drinks, the gasoline he uses, the food he eats. America is still the sole superpower and the president must have the ability to handle any crisis, anywhere, any time.”

    “He does have a huge amount of challenges to try to tackle,” said Larry Haas, a political commentator and former aide in the Clinton White House.

    That is putting it mildly. But Obama is far from alone in dealing with his intense schedule. At his London “diplomatic base camp” will be an array of the best and the brightest from his new administration. Chief among them will be former rival Hillary Clinton, now secretary of state and the public face of American diplomacy.

    It also offers a brief break from dealing with domestic woes, where Obama’s popularity has been slipping slightly in the face of the scandal over AIG bonuses and political splits over his huge proposed budget. Holding high-powered meetings with world leaders will allow Obama to remind Americans how much the rest of the world still admires him.

    Michelle Obama will have eight of her own staff, including a secretary, a press officer and bodyguards. And Obama’s personal aide Reggie Love – called by the president “the kid brother I never had” – will be at hand to provide pens, Nicorette gum, throat lozenges, tea or even aspirins.


    • The rest of the world won’t admire him for much longer, I predict.

      We have an economy in crisis and Teh One needs 500 followers to pick up after him? What does this guy think he is, an effin’ Royal Emperor?

  20. OK Pat Johnson shoppaholic: Here is an intervention shop stopper. There is a new Bill Ayers web site with his own ka-boom t-shirts for sale. Now that may be a bargain you could look at and just say, “No way. I am done.”

  21. They have a post about it on NQ. You may be right about the satire of it but it still might work as a shop stopper when you get down to those last pennies.

  22. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/mar/30/aig-chiefs-pressed-to-donate-to-dodd/

    “As Democrats prepared to take control of Congress after the 2006 elections, a top boss at the insurance giant American International Group Inc. told colleagues that Sen. Christopher J. Dodd was seeking re-election donations and he implored company executives and their spouses to give.

    The message in the Nov. 17, 2006, e-mail from Joseph Cassano, AIG Financial Products chief executive, was unmistakable: Mr. Dodd was “next in line” to be chairman of the Senate Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs Committee, which oversees the insurance industry, and he would “have the opportunity to set the committee’s agenda on issues critical to the financial services industry.”


    Sorry, off topic, but this stuff makes me sick, no wonder no one was minding the store, they were paid to look the other way.

  23. Oh, I just love Amazon! I remember when my dh first told me about the “Internet”…about 10 years ago I guess. He sat me in front of the computer & showed me what I could do with it. I thought he was a lunatic…sit in front of a box and type messages or play games? Then he told me I could shop online…right…I remember my exact words to him “Hon, no self respecting woman will ever buy online…we need to see it, touch it, feel it…” Boy, have I swallowed those words about a million times over the last few years;-)

    I have to admit, I scaled back spending since November. But I was in a bit of a splurge mood this week and got:

    cute pink combo safe for my daughter
    replaced my bose headphones (my toddler broke)
    stencil to use on my kitchen cabinets
    new balance beam scale (I’m sick of digital)
    soaps from my favorite maker (soapsbytami)

    It is like Christmas every day:-) I love love love it!

    ***A word of advice to all you shoppers. What with credit card numbers being compromised, I came up with an idea so that if one credit card was compromised, I could lessen the chances of all of my cards being compromised.

    I only use 1 card for all my online purchases. This way, if my info is stolen online, it will only affect one credit card. I don’t use this credit card for any other reason except online purchases.

  24. I’ve been looking through the comments, and I don’t see much intervening. More like egging on. Come on, people. The CALL is even in caps!

    To ease you out of the habit, here’s my suggestion: go to mybarackobama.com or whitehouse.gov, or whatever it’s called these days, and stare at all the things you wouldn’t want to be caught dead in a ditch with.

  25. Well, Pat, Dubs and his appointed successor will be proud of you for doing your patriotic duty and shopping! The only thing is — the car battery charger. I don’t think you want to get stuck on a lonely road in the middle of the night to discover that plugging the battery charger into the cigarette lighter that runs off the car battery is kind of pointless…

  26. It’s free shipping I find hard to resist, personally.

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