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Totally Inappropriate Open Thread

For Chuckles – (oYo)

What’s on your mind??

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293 Responses

  1. I haven’t pissed off enough people this week anyway

  2. from last thread….
    Ok How many cups of tea should you get from a teabag?

    I am lucky to get one but I remember on the jeffersons that mama jefferson got 5 cups of tea from each teabag….

    I dont know how she did it? Must have been a championship teabagger?

  3. aw, I still adore you, myiq!

  4. It is when they stop talking about you that you should worry. Screw them!

  5. (((oYo)))

  6. The PUMA-obsessed blogstalkers think they can ruin my reputation by quoting me quoting Rodney:

    “I went home with a fat girl once a bunch of times”

  7. totally inappropriate joke:

    What is the difference between men and government bonds?
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    Bonds mature.

  8. angie: lol

  9. if charles is lurking he is gonna need years of therapy after that video!

    Newsflash Myiq2xu loves breast…of course I find them nice myself-

    Of course I wouldnt breast feed as a child my mom should have been clued in back then but Noooo!

    I had to come out to her in the parking lot of the Hong Kong Chinese Buffet Restraunt on Navy Blvd in Pensacola !

    what a drama queen…my mom not me…Oh I can be one just wasnt that day.

    I mean that day was to my mom like the day Kennedy was shot….Come on now you know where I get it from.

  10. I’m starting to think there was a memo sent out to Oblogastan to go after the cnbc guy. I think they told them to push the racist thing. Totally coordinated to kneecap him.

  11. LOL Angie

    what is the difference between a lawn mower and a man

    Wel if sharpen the blade and keep a lawn mower well oiled it will last you for years….men just turn over and fall asleep!

  12. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    We don’t know – it’s never happened.

  13. what’s that useless bit of skin around a penis?

  14. Oh brother!!!!

  15. Q; What do women’s breasts and toy trains have in common?

    A: They’re supposed to be for kids, but it’s grown men that play with them.

  16. KO is now a Gay Hero because after Prop passed he went on TV and ranted about taking marriage rights away from the LGBT community….

    the key was After…KO always late and comming up short!

  17. Why am I laughing at that..

  18. fuzzy — LOL

  19. dak — LMAO!

  20. Bob Somerby has a great article up on Chris Matthews and KO over at Daily Howler.

  21. Angie how many men does it take to put down a toilet seat?

    we dont know that has never happened either

  22. Q: What are the three words no man wants to hear?

    A: Is it in?

  23. What’s a man’s idea of housework?
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

  24. fuzzy — LOL!!

  25. Dakini…heck with the new “Head O state” adult sex toy men are really obsolete as far as the Obama girls are concerned….

    I mean if you had to choose between A Pampers shapped toy and Myiq2xu?

    Just kidding

  26. I LOVE the jokes (laughing)

  27. my iq- or how bout these 3 “where your dicK/”

  28. This one is for Dakinkat:

    Q: Why did the AMA decide circumcision was wrong?

    A: They found out they were throwing away the best part.

  29. sorry “wheres your Dick?”

  30. fuzzy: as long as it vibrates, I could care less

  31. “where your dicK/”

    Is that all?

  32. Or how about theis one

    Did you hear about the discount Moyel?

    when he does a bris he works for tips

  33. as long as it vibrates, I could care less

    Q: Why do blonds hate vibrators?

    A: Chipped teeth

  34. lol, my!!! that is a good one

  35. LMAO-myiq2xu…gosh see we men at the conflu are as good a man basher as any one….

  36. Weren’t you guys supposed to not mention Traumatized By Boobies? Get ready for the lawsuit, I hear his 401k’s a little depleted.

  37. Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

    Finally the first blonde says “Darn, I can’t get in the car!” The other blond replies, “keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down”.

  38. Dakinikat I think you need to go to the french quarter there is a shop there called the “Second Skin”….

    I am sure they have something there that vibrates tittlates and even does your taxes!

    you will find them in the back next to the ball gags and collars…

  39. Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?

    A: You have to hollow out the head.

  40. LMAO

    what do you call 5 blondes in a freezer?

    Frosted Flakes!

  41. Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

    A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

  42. What happens when you dye your hair blonde?

    You IQ drops 25 points

    how do you tell the real blondes from the fake ones on prom night…

    Tell them to stand on their head…the real blondes will not be wearing underwear

  43. fuzzy: I know it well, walked by it every night for three years to get to a gig, and attended a great drag wedding in the back of the bar next door. i wore a big black mae west like hat with maroon feathers, a black corset, black french lace thigh top stocks, extreme stilletos (also lace) and a very ruffled short black slip … i had a ton of fun

  44. An Englishman, a Frenchman and Polish man are drinking and arguing over why the head of the penis is larger than the shaft.

    The Englishman says “It’s to increase the man’s pleasure during sex.”

    The Frenchman says “Non! It is to increase zee pleasure of zee woman!”

    The Polish guy says “It’s so your hand doesn’t slip off”

  45. Ask SM Fuzzy is red bearded with reddish brown head hair….not a blonde hair on me….

  46. myiq — LMAO!!

  47. Q: What’s a blond say when she’s “in the mood?”

    A: “I’m sooo drunk!”

    Q: What’s a brunette say when she’s “in the mood?”

    A: “Is that blond b**ch gone yet?”

  48. Q: Who wears a forest ranger’s hat and carries a can of kerosene?

    A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest Service.

  49. Dakinikat I knew you were my kinda girl!-In a get up like that I am suprized you didnt stop traffic! Now poor charles is really gonna need therapy!

    I bet you were one hot momma….

    OK sheri tag is comming toFLA in July anyone wanna go meet her in Daytona or where ever she is gonna be?

  50. A Polish guy came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting “honey I’m home!” What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing. “Don’t laugh!” he screams. “You’re next!”

  51. sorry I am so wanting to meet all my PUMA friends If I have to get out a push ol’ elrubella hither and yawn I will….

  52. Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest Service

    I went to California State University Stanislaus

    It’s named after a Native American chieftan

    I don’t think he was Polish

  53. Ok what is the old saying about Greeks bareing jokes angie?

    Oh yeah be glad you are not turkish!

  54. A man says to his wife: “I want you to tell me when you climax during sex.”

    The wife replies: “But honey, you hate it when I call you at work.”

  55. fuzzy: I can probably do that!

  56. Stanislaus is a very common Polish name — a couple of Kings named Stanislaus actually. I’m sure there is no relation to the N.A. chieftan.

  57. I remember the name Stanislaus for all in the family….Meathead was gonna name his baby that if it was a boy instead it was a girl….cant remember the baby’s name

  58. I’m going to be in Greece in July. I’m taking 2 months off this summer & going.

  59. a Polish guy walks into a bar, the bartender is watching the news on tv. A man is standing on top of the building about to jump. The bartender says to the pole, I bet you 10 bucks he jumps, and the pole says, you’re on. They wait a few minutes and the man on the tv jumps to his death. as the pole is taking the money out of his pocket to pay the bartender, the bartender says, I can’t take your money, I saw this on the news earlier. The pole says, I did too, but I didn’t think he’d jump twice…

  60. gary — LMAO!

  61. fuzzy: I lived in the quarter for five years and I’ve been in the bywater for nearly 10 … i’m not exactly a burbie doll

  62. Stanislaus Stivic….archie bunker wanted it named after him he said why dont you call the kid Archie Stanislaus Stivic….Meat head said Arch because of his initials man….ASS!LOL

  63. How do “polish americans” counterfeit 10 dollar bills?

    They scratch a zero off of a hundred….

  64. LOL!!

  65. I’m going to be in Greece in July.

    Angie, really? I’ve always wanted to do something like that — you’re so brave!

  66. One day A string walks into the bar and aske for a drink

    the bartender say we dont serve string here

    next day the string comes back and asks for a drink

    the bartender says I told you we dont serve string here

    third day the string is about to go into the bar but bends himself back over under himself and rubbs his ends on the sidewalk before going into the bar

    Agian the bartender says I told you we dont serve string here…

    the string says no problem buddy I am a Frayed Knot! can I have a shot of wiskey now

  67. hi y’all!!

    ok, my porn name is Penny Oakland. sounds like cowgirl porn.

    Fuzzy, are we going to Parliament next week?

  68. kb — brave? Half of my family is there & I’ve got my own place to stay. LOL

  69. Dakini I suspected you had a secret life you never told me about….

  70. kiki (big hugs) yes we are going to the P-House next week I would not miss you for the world!

  71. but, after I graduated from college I spent a month 1/2 back packing through Europe — that was pretty exciting (the other half of the summer was spent in Greece exploring the islands).

  72. Angie, your nicknme is kiki? it was my nickname growing up and some relatives still call me that

  73. An innocent young woman is going to marry a Greek man, and before the wedding her mother warns her:

    “After you have been married a few days he will probably tell you he wants you to “roll over” so he can try a different kind of sex. If he does you tell him no!”

    Sure enough, a few days into their honeymoon the man asked his new wife to “roll over” so they can try something different. She tells him “No!” as her mother instructed.

    “What’s the matter?” he asks. “Don’t you want to have kids?”

  74. (((Fuzzy}}}

  75. San Torini? Mykonos? or the Isle of Lesbos?

    sorry those are gay destinations….you would probably still have a lot of fun Angie!

  76. kiki — yes it is — my Greek nickname is Kiki — my American nickname is Angie.

  77. What’s the weather like in the summer?

  78. I remember Charles. I mainly remember him storming off all the time because people weren’t being serious enough

  79. fuzzy — I’ve never been to Lesbos but I’ve been to Santorini & Mykonos — and yes they are the “gay” destinations because they are the most beautiful of all the islands — you know, the gays always like the best! 🙂

  80. myiq-

    You heard about the young greek man who never left his vilage because he didnt want to leave his brothers behind?

  81. Angie that is why we love you and all the Puma Ladies here!

  82. my Greek nickname is Kiki

    I thought you said it was “Kinky?”

  83. Q — Why did the Greek man grow a mustache?
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    *
    A — He wanted to look like his mother.

  84. wasnt Dukaukis wife’s nickname KiKi? I think she was the smart on it that family….

  85. You heard about the young greek man who never left his vilage because he didnt want to leave his brothers behind?

    Q: How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?

    A: With a crowbar

  86. fuzzy — lol — I almost wrote the Greek brother joke!

  87. wasn’t it Kitty?

  88. I really want a T-shirt that say

    Somewhere in….

    Hawaii
    Indonesia
    Kenya
    Chicago

    A village is missing its idiot!

  89. I think you are right kiki it was kitty ….

  90. Angie, that sounds like a lot of fun.

    I’ve got family and a place to stay in the Azores but I’ve never been there. I’ve never had money and time at the same time….

  91. For what it’s worth, here’s what’s on my mind.

    I just read over at Hillbuzz that Socks, the Clinton kitty who was given to their secretary, Betty Curry, when she retired, had to be put to sleep, suffering from feline cancer. See: http://hillbuzz.wordpress.com/2009/02/20/goodbye-socks/#comment-38207

    Here’s what I posted:
    “I’m so sorry to hear about Socks, and hope to extend my condolences to Betty and her family, and the Clinton family. I was hoping I might get to meet him one day, because the local paper back home, where Betty and her husband retired, did a nice feature article on Socks last spring, showing photos of Socks and Betty at events supporting pets and animal welfare. He was a star at 19 years old! (And appeared to be a good napper in his later years.) Also, I’ve lost cats, and one parakeet, after years of companionship, so believe I can empathize with the loss of a pet as a family member. So glad Socks had one last walk in the sunshine, and pray they will all meet up with him at the Rainbow Bridge. Thanks for letting us know, so I can try to send a note to them.”

    Hillbuzz also has a nice photo of the book written about letters from kids to Socks and Buddy, and photo of Hillary holding Socks in 1999.

    Otherwise, Bill O’Reilly awarded Hillary the “Patriot” label tonight for expressing her musical preferences for the Beatles and Rolling Stones during her trip to Indonesia (especially early Beatles). I read/saw part of the initial interview, when HRC also said she listens to classical music when working because it’s relaxing.

    The lady has good tastes in music, in IMHO.

  92. its a greek brother joke heck I thought it was a gay joke….

    well I guess there isnt any difference

  93. fuzzy — his wife was nicknamed Kitty (for Catherine) — he was Greek, she wasn’t — I think she was Jewish.

    Kiki is the equivalent of “Angie” in Greek — my “Greek name” (and actually my “real” name as it is the one I was baptized” is “Angelaki” & the nickname is Kiki. In the states though, I go by the American version.

  94. Hot. Steaming hot in the summer.

  95. OMG! That video is soo funny and I am so going to catch hell for it.

  96. Hate to interrupt the jokes – but I just read that Socks died. It’s a FOX link but it’s such a cute picture.

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/02/20/socks-feline-face-clinton-white-house-dead/

  97. I am so going to catch hell for it.

    Blame me – I’m not housebroken

  98. I don’t think it is that hot — it gets hot in Athens because it is a valley, but the breeze from the water is nice. The islands of course don’t get as hot as the mainland. Our house is right outside of Athens in the mountains (and right by the beach) so it is really nice there.
    Plus, we have AC. 🙂

  99. katiebird, I’ve been to the canary islands, which i’m guessing are probably a lot like the azores. it’s wonderful there. Fuzzy, you’d love carnaval there on Tenerife, it is like THE gay event of europe.

  100. my post went straight to spammy!

    KB — Athens is on the same longitude as NYC. It gets hot but not unbearable because of the mountains & sea.

  101. A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Is this some kind of joke?”

  102. Hikllary’s taste has never been in question…Liberty belle I to lost my Mueseta and Meme kittys to feline corona virus they were loyal and good…It gives me comfort to know that they and my sweet rutherfiord and Bill (rescue dogs) are up with douglas waiting for me to join them…..

    I sure remember socks he was a cute kitty and chelsea loved him so I remember they did a documentary on socks and his life at the white house too. They were so lucky to have their friend with them for so long….I am glad he was blessed with a long and happy life!

  103. myiq: I frequently do blame you but in a sick, twisted way, I know where you’re coming from.
    So, I guess that means I need to be housebroken too.

  104. Then winter would be better for weather and crowds? (I’ll never get to go but like to be organzied about imaginary vacation planning LOL)

  105. Scorching. Then you’ve got the German tourists in August.

  106. I LOVE places with both mountains and sea/ocean. How I ended up with neither – in Kansas – I’ll never know. I berate my parents for it every chance I get.

  107. Seriously, myiq, don’t change (much). You’re skating near the edge but we can’t take ourselves too seriously and your edge is, well, edgy. I kinda like it.

  108. Winter. Better.

  109. RD-

    I went over to “Focus on the Family” they are outraged by the video about TaTas on your sight it is bad enough you let women and gays speak their mind here but that video above was the last straw….

    You are offically gonne burn with the rest of us….

    Oh and they are gonna protest outside your home on tuesday nights and try to anoint you with peanut oil!

    (dont laff they trid to do it to me at my bar one night said if they anointed me that I would go str8….)

  110. Seriously — no, do not go to Greece in the winter — the summer is the only time to go — the islands are dead in winter & if you can’t go to the islands & the beaches then you miss the real beauty of Greece. I never go before the end of May because the water is too cold to swim before June.

  111. But I would avoid going in August — way too crowded.

  112. You’re skating near the edge

    I try to keep it within the bounds of what they play on basic cable.

  113. kb — have you ever been to Big Sur, CA? Mountains on one side & ocean on the other? That is what Athens is like.

  114. Seriously– please ignore 3 Wickets advice about Greece — it effin’ snows in the winter. It is a wasted trip to go if you don’t go in the summer — I recommend June — before high season starts (which is July 15 to end of August).

  115. Fuzzy: Focus on the Family ain’t got nuthin’ on my mother. She already left everything to me in the Rapture Clause of her will. (Seriously)

    I’m not afraid of no Christians. And if I have to go to heaven with them, I hope I ended up being too bad to be accepted.

  116. Oh and RD the fact Theat CL is afraid of Boobies ithat vid is kind of like garlic to a vampire… It is excelent CL reppellent!

  117. tenerife is an active volcano. you can drive up to the top and go from tropical to tundra in about an hour. There’s also a part that is like driving on the moon. reminded me of going through the badlands this summer.

  118. RD, for what it’s worth, myiq didn’t start it.

  119. Hi all…can I rant??

    Yesterday, my daughter called to say she couldn’t find her debit card. I had just deposited over a grand to cover her school books and tuition balance.

    I quickly checked my internet banking to find that someone stole her card at the train station and went on a shopping spree and emptied the account in one day. I spent the whole day working on this disaster.

    I hate people! Thanks…I feel better now.

  120. have you ever been to Big Sur, CA?

    Despite the image you see on television and in movies with a few exceptions the California coast isn’t sunny and hot.

    Typically we have cold winds, colder water and overcast skies.

    Most CA surfers wear wetsuits for warmth.

  121. Angie, Yes — I grew up about 100 miles north (?) of there and we’d go camping there in the summer. It’s gorgeous. (I want to go back)

  122. 3 Wickets: Believe me, I defend myiq on what seems like a daily basis. But he’s brilliant at times and just plain incorrigible at others. What can I say? Sometimes his comments make my day. We have to keep him. There’d be no other place where he would get this much positive and negative attention.

  123. Big Sur??

  124. We’re going there (actually traveling from wine country to LA through Yosemite) for vacation this August. (big sur, etc.)

  125. myiq — I know the water is cold in CA — I’m talking about the look.
    Also, the Med. is actually too cold to swim in before about mid-June — but it is nice starting then. That is why I don’t go before end of May — spend the first couple of weeks visiting family & the rest of the time at the beach from dawn to dusk.

  126. angie, I will disregard 3 Wickets, listen to you and not go in the winter. I totally respect your opinion in all things.

  127. RD dont worry when you get to Heaven the best part will be the section where you will see millions of people who repeatedly drop their drawers and kick each other in the ass those are the fundamentalists who will realize that they wasted their life on false piety and self-righteousness….

    when they could have been having a good time like the rest of us…

    I am not even gonna tell you what will be happening in the Obama bot section….lets say it will not be pretty….

  128. And myIQ is quite right. We used to bring our coats to the beach as often as not. Still, that’s the sort of beach I love.

  129. I’m new to the blogosphere RD. Just did a grand tour of everyone else in the past two hours. You’re the only place with the lights on and the disco ball spinning. And frankly, that guy at DD who I don’t know was a prick today. Glad I never knew him.

  130. {{Stateofdisbelief}} I am so sorry. That’s a horrible, horrible thing to happen.

  131. Seriously, on February 20th, 2009 at 10:58 pm Said:

    angie, I will disregard 3 Wickets, listen to you and not go in the winter. I totally respect your opinion in all things.

    Smart girl! That’s why I love you!

  132. Awh, Seriously..

  133. I had just deposited over a grand to cover her school books and tuition balance.

    Burn up the phone lines. Find out where the card was used and call those stores. Ask them for duplicates of reciepts. If the card was unsigned they are supposed to check ID, and if it’s signed they are supposed to match signatures.

    Raise hell, you have nothing to lose and $1,000 to gain.

  134. {{{SOD}}} That is terrible!

  135. Fuzzy: As long as you will be there, I’m sure I won’t feel lonely.

  136. SOD–don’t worry, you’ll get it all back. My neighbor’s identity was stolen and it didn’t affect his credit rating or anything.

  137. oh my god SOD, how awful.

  138. SOD — the issuer might cover the loss on a stolen card, check with them.

  139. SOD: I’m so sorry. I hope the bank helps you out with this. Sometimes, the world can be so unnecessarily ugly.

  140. myiq — I’ve been on the phone all day. Went to the bank…filed a police report…talked to the WaWA the SOB went to 7 times. (among about 30 other stores and restaurants)

    the card says “See ID” on the back…but they let the shithead forge her signature without even checking.

    Hopefully the police will follow up — the manager at the Wawa said there are surveillance cameras and I got the exact times of the transactions. I also told them to watch for him to come back in and get a “decline” on the card since we closed it.

  141. I’m going to take your advice and ask for the receipts too. Good idea myiq. thanks!

  142. Sorry Three Wickets, you seem nice, but angie reigns supreme.

  143. I remember when I was young living in San Diego ….going to the beach and swimming in the water …years later I when I was older I went back got in the water and ran out screaming it was so cold….

    I never remembered it being that cold when I was a kid called my mom about the water and she said:

    ” Michael Of course you didnt notice the cold back then your balls hadnt dropped yet!”

  144. Thanks for letting me rant — carry on! (that’s why I love this place)

    🙂

  145. anybody seen this?

    Ailing Sen. Ted Kennedy may not return to the Senate, and speculation is brewing that the veteran Democratic lawmaker is setting up his wife, Vicki, to succeed him, according to a report Friday in the Boston Herald.

    how would that work, MA people? when is he up for election again?

  146. I need to sleep – I can’t wait to be on vacation next week, for 3 main reasons: I get to see my daughter, I don’t have to work, and……….I get to meet Fuzzy!!!!! can’t wait 🙂

    have a great night y’all!

  147. SOD that is awful…I have had that happen to me but I caught it early and the dumb asses who stole my card used it at the Hub at the U of F and were caught on camera committing the crime….I did get my money back!

    I also had to do 2 police reports one in the city of Gville where the card was stolen and one at the university where it was used (2 different jurisdictions)!

    I hope you have simular luck with all the survaliance they probably were caught on camera committing the crime!

  148. night kiki!

  149. big Huggs to RD I would never let you feel lonely….you would be surrounded by the people who know you here all 5,434,619 hits of us!

  150. night kiki

  151. Fuzzy — I dont’ care if they put them in jail..I just want my money back.

  152. Just make sure that your daughter lets the bank people know that no one else but her has ever known her PIN number.

  153. cant wait to meet you and your daughter!

  154. how would that work, MA people? when is he up for election again?
    ************
    Mass is one of the few (only) states that fill an open Senate seat by special election. An election needs to be held ~165 days after the seat becomes open. There will be a lot of contenders for that seat..there hasn’t been an open seat or contested election for ~25 years in Mass.

  155. SOD. The bank has money set aside to cover bad transactions like this. Once a card is stolen, it is not your problem, it is their problem. If the bank won’t trust you, then call Visa, MC, AmEx and complain. Tell them, you’ll twitter them to death online.

  156. SOD I bet that could be arranged the punching their lightsout that is!

    I sure hope they resist arrest when they are caught!

    Personally if they went to prison the obots because i bet thats what they were would become some ones priison b*tch!

  157. good to know 3W. 🙂

  158. gary: It isn’t unusual for wives to take over. Remember Mel Carnahan? He was elected posthumously. (what does that say about John Ashcroft?) Anyway, his wife filled his seat but was not re-elected. I have a feeling that the Kennedy era is passed, which is why he may have fought so hard for Caroline. It’s over though. Time to move on. I’m betting that Vicky won’t fill the Kennedy legacy. If they still want a Kennedy, there are plenty others to choose from. If they want someone new, they have a deep bench.
    Massachusetts will survive. There will be a Democrat to replace Kennedy. I think we can count on that.

  159. RD — I think you’re right.

  160. SOD: I don’t know whether this will help you now (actually, it surely won’t) but I have lost several debit cards and I always cancel them the moment I can’t find them. Even if I’m pretty sure they will turn up later, it’s worth paying the $7.00 for a replacement than risk having the card fall into the hands of a ne’erdowell. Just tell your daughter that the next time the sucker is missing that she call the bank and cancel the card right away.
    It saves everyone a lot of trouble.

  161. Thanks SHV, I didn’t read the whole article at the herald, I guess I should, I just assumed that by setting her up for his seat they mean she would be appointed. But I guess she’d still be a pretty good favorite if she has his machine behind her.

  162. We’re going there (actually traveling from wine country to LA through Yosemite) for vacation this August. (big sur, etc.)

    That’s a zig-zag tour.

    Wine country is north of SF bay, Big Sur is way south. both are on or near the coast. Yosemite is on the other side of the state in the Sierra Nevadas, and my hometown is the “Gateway to Yosemite”

    LA is on another planet.

  163. I think we’ve had exactly two women elected to statewide office, and maybe one Congresswoman. It’ll never happen.

  164. thanks RD — she did call as soon as she realized it – unfortunately, it was a full day after the theif got their hands on it. She uses it only infrequently and had to go into Phila for a Dr.s appt. She used it to get cash for taxis and must have lost it then.

  165. W the f*cking fake rancher moves back to Dallas. Some of W’s neighbors in the Preston Hollow neighborhood of Dallas.

    Tom Hicks, the Rangers current owner. Hicks owns a 29,000-square-foot mansion and large property adjacent to the cul-de-sac, according to property records.

    Other neighborhood homeowners include Mark Cuban, who owns the Dallas Mavericks basketball team, billionaire businessman T. Boone Pickens, Republican donor Harold Simmons and recently retired Exxon Mobil CEO Lee R. Raymond.

    Just in case anyone hasn’t had more than enough W to last you forever.

    Love the jokes, keep it up.

  166. Back in the early 90’s credit card fraud was the way to go.

    The stores didn’t check ID and when the card was almost maxed out you could drop it in a store parking lot and someone else would get busted trying to use it.

    My psycho ex-girlfriend (the abusive one) did time for CC fraud.

    We really were strange bedfellows

  167. Lindy Boggs replaced Hale Boggs (LA) in the US House after his plane “disappeared” in Alaska. I think she won re-election — she also went on to be Ambassador to the Vatican. She lives in the French Quarter. She is the mother of Cokie Roberts.

  168. Margaret Chase Smith replaced her husband when he died. That’s how she got her Senate seat.

  169. btw — I’m a fan of Lindy — she came to my 4th grade class & gave a speech about women in politics — made a big impression on me. Later, I worked at a firm where her sister was a partner.

  170. Did you all see who won the fifth “Hardball Award” this week? (If you can stomach Tweety.) The hypocrisy is breathtaking. Of course, to me, the real motive is transparent. It’s all part of his job to “help BO be a success.” Since she’s now an extension of Obama (in Matthews’ eyes), then her “moxie and street smarts” are a reflection on BO–as if it’s news to the rest of us. What a complete jerk. He even has the nerve to talk about the “critics who could have humiliated her during her run for the Senate.” Critics? Why WHO could that be?!

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/29266253#29266253

  171. Myiq — we may not make it to LA – we’re just doing the whole West Coast-estravaganza tour.

    can’t talk my family into letting me stand in line for a day to be a contestant on The Price is Right, and Elton John isn’t in Las Vegas, so for me, I’m good stopping at Yosemite and Sequoia and going back to San Fran.

  172. well all fuzzy has to get hios rest if he want to kick this cold to the curb….night all

  173. Hattie Caraway replaced her husband in the US Senate and then became the first woman to win a seat in the US Senate. She won re-election and served for 1932 to 1944. She was defeated in her third election by William Fulbright.

  174. A man in Silicon Valley makes a bazillion dollars with some new computer software. He is single w/no kids and decides to buy a ranch in Montana and where he can marry and start a family.

    His first weekend at his new ranch he is sitting on his front porch reading the paper when he sees a truck approaching. His ranch is so big it takes nearly10 miniutes for the truck to reach the house. When the truck stops a cowboy type emerges and says “Howdy!”

    The cowboy tells the man he is his next-door neighbor and he came over to welcome the man to a party that night. The cowboys says “There’s gonna be lots of food and booze and f*cking!”

    The man asks what he should wear, and the cowboy says “It don’t matter, it’ll just be you and me!”

  175. fif — yeah, I saw it — made me sick — LOVED how he said he had “failed to give her credit for the guts it took for her to run for the Senate knowing that she *could* be humiliated by her critics” without batting an eye. Hey, moron! YOU were the LEADER of her “critics” who were trying to humiliate her. And don’t forget your comments just this past year that the ONLY reason she won was because her “husband cheated on her.”

    also LOVED how the @sswipe pointed out that giving the award to her was “the first time to a woman.” He can’t hide his sexism even when “rewarding” a woman! GAH.

    Tweety — you, sir, are a wanker extraordinaire.

  176. Tough partys in Montana 🙂

  177. Tough partys in Montana

    That kinda depends on your point of view

  178. Tweety — you, sir, are a wanker extraordinaire.

    Gak! I know. I’ll second that. And I’m certain that it is only because of his man-crush on Obama. Suddenly, after last spring, he notices her “moxie.” Jesus, what an asshat.

  179. You wanna hear something inappropriate that happened to me today? So I was dressed casually (2 hours sleep last night) in my favorite new deep purple shirt. I’m a “winter,” it looks fabulous. I got compliments all day long. It was delightful.

    Until the dean of the law school (that is to say, my boss), looked at me and said, “You are always SO stylish! That color makes you look just like Michelle Obama!”

    Uh, thanks? Frenchy laughed his ass off when I told him about it….

    I’ve missed you-all. Have been buried in work for 2 weeks.

  180. ok,I actually was in bed and reading the latest New Yorker and saw this cartoon I just had to share. I hope it doesn’t offend myiq……..

    http://www.newyorker.com/humor/issuecartoons/2009/02/23/cartoons_20090216

    goodnight for real this time {{ }}

  181. Jadzia — LMAO too!! Poor thing — what a back-handed compliment!

    kiki — good night for real this time!

  182. LA is on another planet.—-

    miq2xu!

    well — I agree, but…..you forgot wine country down here!
    think film Sideways!

    geez.

    the Sur is fab. Eat at Nepenthe — the coast drive is better!

    I miss Yosemite!

    there is a lot of wine in CA.

    ……………………

    they kind of did it like overkill in a way……

    Hey , CA is a big place……….! ask Huell Howser…………
    having wine righ tnow!

  183. Angie….I smell Cheeze Whiz. 🙂

  184. Did anyone post this today?

    Socks, the Clintons’ White House Cat, Dies

    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory?id=6926488

    The picture alone is worth the link: Socks at the Press Briefing Room podium during their White House years–ready to take questions. The article is really sweet too–remember his dust ups with Buddy, the dog? Betty Currie took good care of him until he passed at the ripe old age of 18. R.I.P. Socks.

  185. SOD — did you check your mail today?(I know you’ve been kind of busy) but I’ve been on it! LOL

  186. kiki: lol. Barsotti is one of my favorites.

  187. I wouldn’t do any Napa Valley winery tours, I’d spend my money on a hot-air ballon ride over the place.

    The tours are bullshit – one winery looks like another.

    If I was gonna see one thing in the SF bay area it would be Alcatraz

    Fisherman’s Wharf and Chinatown are overrated, but Golden Gate Park is worth a look. Coit Tower gives you a great view of the city. PacBell park is beautiful if you want see the Giants play.

    Shit, I should write out a list of places to see and avoid. Simofish could too.

    One thing to avoid in SF – Chuckles Lemos

  188. I miss CA too. I’d do Napa, SF, Yosemite, double back via Gilroy to Monterey, head down coastal route 1 thru Big Sur, Obispo wine country, Santa Barbara, Santa Monica. Sorry, daydreaming.

  189. Michelle Obama dresses double her age. Of she were any other FL, she’d be roasted for frumpiness.

  190. SOD! I’ll get ’em for ya!

    It chaps my ass hearing about thievin’ vermin!

  191. We lived near the Barsotti’s and knew Charlie Barsotti–his daughter was a good friend to a few of my sibs.

  192. Another yearning ex-Californian here. I would go to the Lost Coast area.

  193. SOD — Make sure to Go Carmel — really beautiful.

  194. Angie, wanna hit the beaches topless?

  195. Kerry didn’t even notice that Hamas slipped him a note?

    Frederick Jones, the committee’s communications director, told CNN at the end of Kerry’s meeting with UNRWA chief Karen Abu Zayed that “she handed [Kerry] a letter addressed to the president of the United States along with other materials.”

    The U.S. considers Hamas a terrorist organization and has no contact with the organization.

    Kerry, D-Massachusetts, first learned that the letter was included in the materials, Jones said, after he left Gaza for meetings in Israel,

    He’s clueless.

  196. MyIQ, That’s a good list. Also, I love hwy 1 through Marin County, Muir Woods or Samuel P Taylor Park. Ocean Beach in SF.

  197. (Booking flight to Greece……)

  198. that’s my territory 3 wickets.

  199. Joanie! Hi!!

  200. joanie — what makes you think I don’t? 🙂

  201. Hi Sissy! Sammy P!!!

    I’m thinking of taking my boys to the Redwoods for spring break.

  202. Angie–I would NEVER think you don’t , in fact, assuming you needed another fine pair to hang with.

  203. SF, Yosemite, double back via Gilroy to Monterey

    I would want to go from Saratoga (Silicon Valley) over Hwy 9 to Santa Cruz. At the top of the the hills behind Saratoga is Skyline Blvd. About 1/4 mile east of Hwy 9 you can park and walk to Summit Rock.

    From Summit Rock you can see Silicon Valley and most the South Bay ( if the weather is right)

  204. SOD — I did that Napa Wine Train thing — I loved it!

  205. …not that we “hang” exactly….

  206. myiq — mail call!

    angie — I did see that Napa thing, and my friend has a son that lives in Santa Cruz — he also recommended Carmel.

    We’re plotting our course now…thanks!

  207. Joaniebone!!!!!

  208. Here is the site for it — it’s about $100 a person but I had fun — 3 hour train tour of Napa Valley.

    http://winetrain.com/

  209. Kisses to SOD!

  210. Make sure to Go Carmel

    Make lunch reservations at the Cypress Room at Pebble Beach.

    If you have reservations they won’t charge you admittance and you can skip lunch and check out some of the most beautiful real estate in the world for free.

    17 Mile Drive

  211. Joanie — yep, still pass the pencil test here. In Europe you attract more attention if you wear a top at the beach (as in: look at the tourist! LOL).

    I hate tan lines anyway — I think boobies end up looking like fried eggs when they are all white next to a tanned torso.

  212. I’m meeting SOD somewhere in her travels, and
    I MEAN IT!

  213. This photo is about 2 miles north of San Francisco.

    It always amazes me that wilderness and cities are right next to each other in California.

  214. Myiq — isn’t there some stretch of road around that Carmel/Big Sur area call “Slide and Die?” because of it’s treacherous curves, high mountain location??

  215. Katiebird! that’s gorgeous!

  216. Definitely the 17 mile drive. Hit the ridiculously beautiful public beach at the end. Wave at Clint.

  217. SOD — LA is overrated, imo — the city itself really isn’t very attractive. Sure, seeing Hollywood Blvd is fun but meh.

    I actually visit LA quite often though because I have some good friends that live there. But I do a whole “LA fabulous weekend” staying at fancy hotel, going to the “in” restaurants, etc. It is fun, but pretty shallow. LOL

  218. Angie — do you stop at wineries for tastings? My daughter will be a newly minted 21 year old and we want to get sloshed on samples while my hubby plays designated driver.

  219. don’t forget Monterey — !

    Steinbeck country……..!

    (for real)……..

  220. Actually, I like highlighting my nipples with tanlines.

    And I like a “white bikini”. But yes, the ultimate in geekiness to wear a top on a European beach.

    Two kids and mine are still up there. Not sure how. I have a friend that described hers (after nursing) as looking like
    “a pair of socks holding a golfball each”
    YIKES! Scared the crap outta me.

  221. katie, you should show the beautiful SF skyline photo of yours!
    (My katie is so talented…)

  222. angie, I used to live on Hollywood Blvd. It was pretty sleazy. I didn’t have secure parking and the prostitutes used to come up from Sunset and use the bed of my pickup to turn tricks. I would go to work in the am and find condom rappers, needles, etc. I hear they cleaned it up though down towards the theaters, but Iived on near the corner of La Brea so I was close to there.

  223. Geebus joaniebone…

  224. SOD — yes you do — the courses of the lunch are served with different wines & there is a “wine educator” too. At the end you go on a private tour of a winery. And myiq is right — if you see one winery you’ve seen ’em all.

    I went one day on the train, one day to about 5 different wineries. The best part about the train was not worrying about driving. (I was the designated driver on the day we just toured the wineries — I actually just swirled & spit!) 😦

  225. don’t forget Monterey — !

    Steinbeck country……..!

    ——————–

    I miss the sardines.

    (trying to ignore the biology chat)

  226. SOD, I was late developing by decades, so I still can’t get over having any at all.

  227. The last time I was on Hollywood Blvd it was midnight and I had to go to the bathroom so I ducked into a McD’s.

    Paid a quarter to get in the ladies room only to find a freakshow of people piled in there with many of them doing their business right on the floor in the sink areas.

    Needless to say…I held it till we got back to the hotel.

  228. SOD- sorry to jump in here, but maybe you’re referring to “devil’s Slide”, which is a treacherous part of Hwy One between Half Moon Bay and SF- Take that route from SF south to Santa Cruz, then go to the UCSC campus (one of my alma maters) and go to the top- breathtaking vistas of Monterey Bay.

  229. Three wickets, sorry to embarass. I always cause trouble while I’m here (blush).

  230. SOD, LOL, that sounds like the Hollywood blvd I remember.

  231. joanie — its genetic. My mom is suprisingly “up” for 2 kids, 60 years & double D.

    gary — jeez! what a horror story about Sunset Blvd. I always stay at the Mondrian on Sunset when I go — it is nice there — at least now.

  232. “That one” is hanging in my office and gets an outrageous amount of exposure and compliments.

  233. No worries. Have got my head turned. Love the crab shack at Half Moon Bay.

  234. SOD @ 11:04p
    What WAWA stores? My oldest granddaughter works in the human resource department of WAWA.
    I will give her a call tomorrow with the information and see what she can do to help.
    She started with the company when she was 16 years old and worked her way up and they are paying for her college.
    If I can help let me know

    WOMEN WITH INTELLIGENCE AND EXPERIENCE,MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM AND COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY ALWAYS

    PUMAS,BUBBAS,EQUALISTS AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE

  235. what has happened is that LA spread north to Ventura and Santa Maria spread south to Los Alamos — but — Carpinteria to SB to Solvang to Los Olivos to almost Los Alamos is pretty untouched?

    santa ynez is all wine — all the biggies…?

    don’t miss Cold Springs Tavern if you drive by here…….
    rustic…. in the mountains….

  236. Sounds great ang…I’ll tell my hubby, our official “vacation planner”

    By the way…I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it, but we always rent homes when we travel…it’s much more cozy and often way cheaper and they are great digs. You can check it out at http://www.vrbo.com (vrbo=vacation rentals by owner) . You rent directly from owners.

  237. Hard to say what Katie is blushing over.

  238. We can all go visit Scrubs too!

  239. We stayed in the Dominican Republic

  240. joanie — I love scrubs but no way am I sitting on a plane for 24 hours. The only way I will ever get to Oz is starting in Europe with a stop over in Hong Kong (great shopping!)

  241. Where’d MYIQ go? Rats. I always chase him away.

    I am so lame that here on the West coast, I can’t stay up as late as you all. 12 hour workday, and I’m beat!

  242. angie, ooh, the mondrian, nice. that’s “the strip” on Sunset. I lived further down in the dregs, there’s a huge difference between Hollywood and West Hollywood…

  243. Joanie, I just sent you an email.

  244. Angie, I told Scrubs that I’d sit on the plane and gleefully arrive with my butt nice and warm!

  245. SOD — love that place in the Dominican Republic!

  246. Nighty-nite, family. Sissy, I’ll check mail before bed….

    I love you all.

  247. Katiebird, I’m thinking you took that photo from Twin Peaks..

  248. It was a lot cheaper when I was therein 1973. The Dominican Republic was “the place” for quickie divorces in the ’70’s.

  249. Angie — everything was great except the mosquitos. My daughter looked like an oozing science experiment by the end of the week!

    they have these women that will come to the villa and give you a massage on the balcony and a mani-pedi for a total of $25.00! It’s crazy cheap there.

  250. SHV – I wish everything was still as cheap as it was in 1973!

    Gosh…you could get a whole meal at a restaurant for 3 bucks back then!

  251. gary — I know it is nice — I’m telling ya when I do LA I “do LA” My days there are like that movie LA Story — breakfast at the Polo lounge, eyebrows done by Anastasia, oxygen facials (same ones Jen Aniston gets!), fancy dinners*. LOL — I can go to Greece for a month cheaper than a long weekend in LA!! 🙂

    *btw — the food in LA is so pricey and mostly s*cks (no butter, no cream, no taste) — that’s how the people stay so thin — they don’t actually eat those expensive dinners they just go to “see & be seen”

  252. SOD — I NEVER get bitten by mosquitoes — I’ve been bitten only about3 times in my entire life and I grew up in NOLA! My dad says I must have sour blood. LOL

  253. Three Wickets, no — it was out of a window of Coit Tower. In the full size photo you can see some of the marks on the window.

  254. Mondrian, meh. Nice lobby, nice Cuban restaurant, small rooms..

  255. katiebird — what the heck is Coit Tower? everyone says you should see it when you’re in San Fran, but I don’t really know what it is or why I should see it.

  256. You actually went up the Tower. Stupid me, didn’t even know you could do that..

  257. 3 Wickets — not my rooms at the Mondrian — I always get suites.

    Besides, in LA I average about 5 hours in the actual room — just sleep, shower & get dressed.

    (I get my hair done at salons & my make up done at the Mac store on Robertson everyday that I’m there! LOL).

  258. I love and miss LA. We lived in Hollywood before moving to Oregon in the summer of 2007. You just gotta know where to go.

  259. Wow, katiebird, that picture is awesome. If I’d taken that I’d make it into a mural.

  260. I hear they did a good job remodeling the Steinhart Aquarium in Golden Gate Park. I used to take my son there periodically for the trifecta- the aquarium, the DeYoung Museum (now relocated), and the Japanese Tea Garden (still there and beautiful). The Monterey Bay aquarium is great, too, on Cannery Row.

  261. And, when you stay at the Mondrian you get in to the Sky Bar automatically — I’ve seen lots of stars there! (Yes, that is part of my whole “doing LA” thing I admit — spotting stars — geeky, yes, but I pretend like I don’t recognize them, never go up to them, etc, so that balances it out).

  262. ANgie — nothing to see…move along… 🙂

  263. Suites at the Mondrian. Who can afford that. Good for you for knowing how to treat yourself though.. I wish I had that abandon more often. No choice now. Recession and all.

  264. Oh, Three Wickets — I’m sorry you missed it. The view is wonderful.

    Somehow I didn’t get a photo of the tower but, here’s one of the lobby It’s covered in wonderful murals.

  265. Hey Joanie!

  266. Once I stayed at the sub-Standard on Sunset when the Mondrian stopped allowing pets (Pepa travels with me). The decor in the rooms hurt my eyes — blue rugs, orange bed spreads, big flowered curtains — horrible! And don’t even get me started on the blood orange tiled bathroom! Never again. Pepa now stays in the kennel when I go to LA.

  267. Angie — I have to disagree with you about the food in LA. When I first moved there, I assumed that it would indeed suck — for the reasons that you articulate. (If nobody eats, probably the food doesn’t need to be good, right?) But I found some really great places — Cafe Stella (Silverlake), AOC, Grace, Josie, Table 8, and those are just the “fancy” type places. Cobras & Matadors for yummy tapas. A zillion little strip-mall sushi joints. The Empress Pavilion for dim sum on Sundays with a cast of thousands.

    I could go on and on. And frequently do!!!!

    (Making restaurant list for upcoming LA trip. Mmmm, LA.)

  268. Seriously — Thank you very much! It does look good as a big picture. I think the copy I gave Joanie is about 30″ across.

  269. KB — did you see my question upthread about Coit Tower?

  270. Ghirardelli — okay goodnight all!

    xxoo!

    Sequoias rule, bigly!

    oh ps: Trees of Mystery!

    hahahahaha!

    there is a ton out here, for all…….

    ps: RD, I am going to get a fab couch. You, too!

    hugs, and some of SoCal is local? and still nice — it’s true — not all is like LA.

    here is a toast to redecorating, traveling, Greece, couches WE DESERVE, plus, WINE!

    xxoo!

  271. Jadzia — see, that’s my problem — I don’t go out to Silverlake — I mainly stay in the Hollywood, Beverly Hills & St. Monica area.

    I do admit that the sushi is LA is the best, though. But, I never get full when I eat sushi — we always go to Pinks for hot dogs though — love that place.

  272. One more LA note — I think the hotels must be hurting there right now. I’m going down in mid-March for a mediation and got a room at the Century Plaza for $125/night on priceline. Rack rate is 350+ for their cheapest room! Yes, I would rather stay in a cute boutiquey place like the Argyle, but the CP is great for business and I could not BELIEVE how cheap it is going to be. Clients will be happy too.

  273. Stateofdisbelief — I did but I accidentally left your name off the piece of my comment to Three Wickets.

    The second paragraph (the one with the links should have been addressed to you. Here it is:

    Somehow I didn’t get a photo of the tower but, here’s one of the lobby It’s covered in wonderful murals.

  274. Mmmm, Pinks! The lines are so crazy though that you know the only time I go? For breakfast when I am SUPER hung over. There’s never a line at 10am.

    Disgusting, I know. I do have a bad girl side. : )

  275. Jadzia — and I should add — go to restaurants that US Weekly says is the “hot” place to go (to try to see stars! LOL)

    Oh, I always go to the Griddle for breakfast one day of the trip — very good place. Saw Ian Zeiring there and Jason Priestly (separately).

  276. Jadzia — I, of course, go at 2:00 a.m. — at the height of the line — I think it is part of my “LA experience.”

  277. SOD — I posted that earlier. Remember the uproar when John Lennon said the Beatles were “bigger than Jesus”? See how far we’ve fallen? Now this empty suit is considered a “hero.”

  278. SOD: They must have worked pretty hard to find the right area code for that survey. Either that or they listed a URL to respond to on a carefully selected web site or two.

  279. Jadzia — the Argyle has been re-named the Sunset Towers. I’ve been to the restaurant & club there (when it was still the Argyle) because they do take pets (I feel guilty kenneling Pepa) but I really don’t like change — I’m afraid of having a horrible sub-Standard experience again, so like to stick to the place I know.

  280. Bad thread up

  281. I saw Angie’s mention of that poll. (I wish I missed BOTH citations) How embarrassing for the adults of this country. We’re a nation of illiterate high school students.

  282. Katiebird, did you take one of the bay and Alcatraz side..

  283. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,496309,00.html

    So..they’re creating robots that may turn on us? Great…just great.

  284. Three Wickets,

    Alcatraz (and odd beach activity)

  285. We’re a nation of illiterate high school students.

    High school was the best year of my life

  286. LOL “Damn–HAL is an Obot!!!!!!”

  287. katiebird, that’s very nice. People love getting married on that beach, or at Crissy Field next door.

  288. Three Wickets, I think it was a magazine shoot though — I don’t see a groom or much of a bridal party. I think it’s interesting to have that bride on one side and the family picnic on the other with Alcatraz in the background. And then all those sail boats in between…

    An awful lot going on.

    I got a good photo of the GG Bridge from there too. But, enough is enough….

  289. We used to have a great view of both the GG Bridge and Alcatraz from our balcony. My wife would love taking photos. Our view was to the west, so great sunsets over Pacific Heights. It is one beautiful city.

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