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Quotations from Emperor Obama

obamabook

Are you ready for the Change we’ve been hearing about?

It is an unofficial requirement for every citizen to own, to read, and to carry this book at all times.

Printed in a size that easily fits into pocket or purse, it is comprised of quotations borrowed from the President’s speeches and writings. His guiding principles will enlighten the minds of the people and prepare the way for a new era of change. In order to master the President’s ideology, it is necessary to study many of the basic concepts over and over again, and it is best to memorize important statements and apply them repeatedly. Learn earnestly and diligently.

Together we can bring about the next great era in the American story.

That is the introduction to Pocket Obama, a book of quotes from our Dear Leader. The book, which is already sold out on Amazon, was published by the History Company on January 8, 2009. Is it a joke? The History Company sells historical replicas, and many of them are quite pricey. In a quick look around the site I didn’t see a lot humorous item, but this one seems intended to be funny. Even as snark though, this book is seriously creepy.

Customers at Amazon have been busy posting reviews of the little blue book. Several have also posted alternate photos under the official photo to express their outrage. Here are a few of the customer comments:

You may think it’s funny NOW…, But, wait and see. This is seriously a forshadowing of things to come. Keep your eyes open and don’t be a little sheep being led to slaughter.

Pocket Obama cured my insomnia! I used to be troubled by sleepless nights. But reading in bed this collection of the wisdom of President Obama — e.g., “The true test of the American ideal is whether we’re able to recognize our failings and then rise together to meet the challenges of our time. Whether we allow ourselves to be shaped by events or history, or whether we act to shape them” — has enabled me to awake each morning refreshed and ready to serve Chairman Obama.

I am not worthy to lick his boots. Forget all you used to know. Landing on the moon. The parting of the Red Sea. None of it matters anymore. We are truly favored to witness in our own time the culmination of man’s achievement. Let us now celebrate with a glass of Kool Aid.

Hope & Change! I bought this book and read some of it to my landlord. Guess what?! He said I didn’t have to pay rent any more! And when I went to fill up my gas tank, the service attendant saw my book, winked, and said, “No charge!” At the DMV, standing behind 30+ others, I held up my pocket Obama and was immediately ushered to the front of the line!

Wow! At just $5.95, what a great investment! It’s like an all-access pass and everything is free!

Thanks, Mr. Obama!

And so on.

What troubles me about this is that the propaganda campaign has been so intense and over the top since the election that it has become very difficult to distinguish serious Obamabotism from parody. And with the economy tanking as it is, the joke feels to me like it’s in kind of poor taste. What do you think?

This is an open thread.

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236 Responses

  1. Key-rist on a crutch! Thank God it is an alleged parody –what scares me is the outrage 1/2 the Obots are sure to have for daring to make fun of Dear Leader and the other 1/2 will take it seriously.

  2. I guess it’s a good thing that SOME people have a sense of humor about it.

    Boston Boomer, I can’t believe it’s sold out at Amazon though. That kind of makes me feel panicked

  3. I can think of a couple of other little booklets that have had great impact on sending countries down the road to ruin — Mein Kampf and the Communist Manifesto.

    Of course, professional PR people in organizations have long used the technique of providing little cards, etc., to their volunteer speakers to help them with their talking points in public appearances. Not brainwashing but helpful tools. Obama’s booklet, on the other hand, would be pure propaganda.

  4. (lurking)

  5. Here’s another one – Chia Obama. It’s got to be a joke – but who knows?

    http://www.chiaobama.com/

  6. btw — I say that at least 1/2 of the Obots are taking it seriously, because I don’t believe this book is sold out from all the SANE people who see it for what it is.

  7. Afro

    Come play.

  8. kb — GMTA

    I can’t believe it’s sold out at Amazon though. That kind of makes me feel panicked

    I do find it cute that they “borrowed” phrases from Obama’s speeches, since most of those phrases were borrowed by Obama from someone else.

  9. I finally see your new avatar Afro. You have a pretty smile.

  10. I find it creepy too. Did we elect the guy to provide comedy relief for the next 4 years? Is this what we are now reduced to, electing the guy that we can parody best in literature? i’m gonna be sick.

  11. I started reading “3 cups of tea” and it’s interesting.

  12. this whole so-called election cycle has been one sick joke.
    Fair elections are a thing of the past in this country.
    By the time the next so-called election cycle arrives we will be in the middle of a depression.
    We has cheated the young of this nation out of a good education and the teaching of critical thinking.
    There has been a draining of jobs for years.
    Unless the people wake up and remember the beliefs this country was founded upon we will become history.
    It is time for vigilance and pick people who really care about this country to run for office and make damn sure the ballots are counted and the voting places are not overrun by thugs.

    WOMEN WITH INTELLIGENCE AND EXPERIENCE,MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM AND COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY ALWAYS

    PUMAS,BUBBAS, AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE

  13. Angie! — We must be right if we both said it!

  14. Thanks for the update, fif — that’s encouraging.

  15. There’s also a Pocket Biography of Obama. Clearly someone thinks people are going to carry these books around with them. Has this happened with other President and I just didn’t notice it?

  16. I have to wait until Wednesday KB.

  17. Well, I know there were a lot of funny books about the “sayings of Bush” — didn’t they call them Bushisms?

  18. I’m still waiting too. I bundled my copy with a book that doesn’t come out until tomorrow. But, I should get it by the end of the week.

    I can’t wait.

  19. It’s like the CIA used to be. There’s intelligence, then there’s counter intelligence, then counter-counter-intelligence. You lose track after a while, then just end up not trusting anyone. I can see that being part of Barry’s okey dokey strategy.

  20. Angie,

    I can’t believe all those copies were sold to people who thought it was funny. The reviewers seemed offended by it. There have to be some Obots that bought it for the (recycled, as you point out) quotes.

  21. “What troubles me about this is that the propaganda campaign has been so intense and over the top since the election that it has become very difficult to distinguish serious Obamabotism from parody.”

    LOL. Or, er, not-LOL. I can’t tell if I’m laughing anymore. Or snoring. Or gagging. Who knows? It’s self-serve parody.

  22. The – Chia Obama.!No one could make this shit up
    http://www.chiaobama.com/

    There’s the” happy face “Obama and the determined face Obama…even his Chia is two faced!

  23. “I can’t believe it’s sold out at Amazon though. That kind of makes me feel panicked”

    Axelrod likely has a huge pile of ’em in his backyard. Possibly fertilizing the tomatoes?

  24. bostonboomer, on January 26th, 2009 at 11:28 pm Said:

    Angie,

    I can’t believe all those copies were sold to people who thought it was funny. The reviewers seemed offended by it. There have to be some Obots that bought it for the (recycled, as you point out) quotes
    ************
    I would guess that 80% bought it for the same reason that they bought the plates, coins, etc. The true believers. There is no way that they sold out the first press run to people who thought is was a gag gift.

  25. There are some pretty funny comments out there on the web about whether the book is satire.

    And, of course, I forgot about Mao’s Little Red Book. It was hilariously funny to read — but it was not meant to be so. I thought a lot of things Obama did during the campaign were funny and silly, like his speeches, his music, and his logo — but he got elected.

  26. Last night I was reading some of the classic mind control techniques, and they all sound like what the Obama campaign did and what happened on the Obamablogs:

    PEER GROUP PRESSURE – Suppressing doubt and resistance to new ideas by exploiting the need to belong.

    “LOVE BOMBING” – Creating a sense of family through physical touch, thought & feeling sharing and emotional bonding.

    4) REJECTION OF OLD VALUES – Accelerating acceptance of new lifestyle by constantly denouncing former beliefs and values.

    [Conversaion stories]

    5) CONFUSING DOCTRINE – Encouraging blind acceptance and rejection of logic through complex lectures on an incomprehensible doctrine.

    6) METACOMMUNICATION – Implanting subliminal messages by stressing certain key words or phrases in long, confusing lectures.

    [We are the ones we have been waiting for!]

    CHANTING OR SINGING – Eliminating non-cult ideas through group repetition of mind-narrowing chants or phrases.

    [Yes we can!] [O-Ba-Ma, O-Ba-Ma!]

    FINANCIAL COMMITMENT – Achieving increased dependence on the group by ‘burning bridges’ to the past, through the donation of assets.

    FINGER POINTING – Creating a false sense of righteousness by pointing to the shortcomings of the outside world.

  27. Well, bedtime for me. Have a good night guys and gals.

  28. I’m tired so when I first read this post I thought it said “In order to master the President’s theology,” which is even more creepy.

    I’ll just stick to carrying my pocket U.S. Constitution and brandish it at Obots like I’m warding off vampires.

  29. Alwaysthinking,

    That’s the thing. The possum seal and the Obama seal on the plane, all those things were so silly that when you see a book like this you almost think it’s meant to be serious.

  30. Night, CWaltz!

    Britgirls– LOL!

  31. The mind control outline pretty well sums it all up, along with the pretty wrappings of the marketing campaign and the intimidation!

    Chilling indeed!

  32. Right, BB, while we were all laughing at the silliness, millions of others were soaking it up. So now we are confused about what the book really is meant to do — provide a little humorous relief or sink into our brains. (I actually think it could be used for the latter.)

  33. I too think this just a reflection of things to come.
    Some might think this a joke, remember those kids who were singing Obama’s praises? I think there is some truth to this little book.
    Obama would like nothing more than to have every American worshiping at his feet. He believes himself the Messiah of our day, and that is very dangerous and abnormal thinking.
    Just a little peek of things to come.
    God help us!

  34. I guess we’ll find out for sure when they pass out reading material in the reeducation camps!

  35. That’s some scary stuff upthread BB.

  36. bostonboomer, on January 26th, 2009 at 11:28 pm Said:

    Angie,

    I can’t believe all those copies were sold to people who thought it was funny. The reviewers seemed offended by it. There have to be some Obots that bought it for the (recycled, as you point out) quotes.

    Exactly bb — no one but Obots bought that book — I’d bet my life on it.

  37. paper doll, on January 26th, 2009 at 11:30 pm Said:

    There’s the” happy face “Obama and the determined face Obama…even his Chia is two faced!

    LMAO!

  38. Night CWaltz!


  39. Alwaysthinking, on January 26th, 2009 at 11:38 pm Said:

    And, of course, I forgot about Mao’s Little Red Book. It was hilariously funny to read — but it was not meant to be so. I thought a lot of things Obama did during the campaign were funny and silly, like his speeches, his music, and his logo — but he got elected.

    With all due respect — that wasn’t what got him elected it was all the illegal money & voter fraud that got him elected.

  40. 😀

    Maybe it is small because he does have a lot to say.

  41. No, I don’t think it’s Obots because on Amazon it has a little blurb saying “Customers Who Bought Related Items Also Bought” and links to a TON of John Wayne related stuff. John Wayne? WTF??? They even have a spoken word collection of poetry by John Wayne called “America. Why I Love Her.”

    I just can’t imagine that Obots even know who The Duke is.

  42. afrocity — I think you left out an important “not” in there! LOL

  43. Angie,

    I looked at some of the quotes in the excerpts at Amazon. Those didn’t seem to be snarky. They are arranged by topic, and the excerpt ones were about religion.

  44. OT…yesterday was the first sunrise in Pt. Barrow AK since Nov. 18
    (nice pics) Too much Obama give me a stomach ache.

    http://luminous-landscape.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=18236&pid=254770&st=100&#entry254770

  45. britgirls — I don’t believe those Amazon “customers who bought” linky things. It’s all a conspiracy — is it Tuesday yet?

  46. Afrocity,

    He also hasn’t done much. Hence the “pocket” biography. The employment section could be one page.

  47. Next thing you know, Favreau will start weaving in John Wayne quotes into Obie’s speeches.

    😉

  48. angie lol my poor attempt at sarcasm.

    His accomplishments are page two.

  49. Here’s a good one. Obie could pull this off!

    “Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have the dinner ready when you get home.”
    John Wayne

  50. britgirls, on January 26th, 2009 at 11:42 pm Said:
    I’m tired so when I first read this post I thought it said “In order to master the President’s theology,” which is even more creepy.

    I’ll just stick to carrying my pocket U.S. Constitution and brandish it at Obots like I’m warding off vampires.

    ___________

    OMG, I just about peed my pants laughing so hard.

  51. Great one britgirls.

    I think I’m seriously losing the string on this. So this is a book manufactured by the secret Obot police to try and appease those in the John Wayne wingnut right, who are already convinced that Barry is Mao, but the people who are really buying the book may really be straight up Obots who are too dupid to know the difference. See, it just starts to hurt the head after awhile. Maybe it has nothing to do with politics. Just come wiseguys out to make a buck from everybody.

  52. britgirl! LMAO

    OT but did you know John Wayne was a total right-wingnut who whistled “God Bless America” whenever he went to Dallas because he was so “proud” that was were JFK was shot? Yeah — that’s right — I got that straight from a reporter on the Dallas Morning News who interviewed the “Duke” several times when he was in Dallas (although he was forbidden from reporting that little tidbit about our national “hero”).

  53. Three Wickets! So funny! I guess someone has to bite the bullet and just order the damn thing to see if it’s a joke or not.

    I’m not volunteering BTW.

  54. britgirls — I’m not IT either! I would rather wipe my you know what with the $5.95 — it would be money better spent.

  55. The book jacket endorsement is by Senator-Elect Jack Handey.

    Some of his thoughts on the small book created by a small minded small person:

    Whenever you read a good book, it’s like the author is right there, in the room talking to you, which is why I don’t like to read good books.

    If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.

    The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. “Uh-oh,” he thought. “This watering hole is reserved for skeletons.”

    If you ever fall off of the Empire State Building, go limp because then people might think you’re a dummy and try to catch you, because hey, free dummy!

  56. Angienc — I agree that the vote fraud got him through the primary and into the general election (we saw some of the intimidation first hand in TX). Not so sure, however, that fraud had much to do with the final vote, but who knows? So many people, including one well-educated family member, many local officials, and some neighbors, seemed to fall for him.

  57. ooh, but you know what I am willing to do? I’m willing to go to a Barnes & Noble with a coffee shop in it & shamefully sit down & read the d@mn thing cover to cover (it will take what, 5 minutes?) and then leave without buying it. Heck, I bet I could transcribe the whole thing in 10 minutes — or even better, I’ll bring my little dictation recorder & have my secretary transcribe it & I’ll upload it here (don’t worry, I will give my secretary hazard pay for that job). Still, that is 10 minutes of my life I will never get back.

  58. That book has to be a joke. Use the Surprise Me feature. When you get to the end of one segment, click again and you’ll get another round. After awhile you see that they selected the most vapid and not very grammatical bits of Obama’s stump speeches and such. No. I would not buy it, but it has to be satire.

    Doesn’t it?

  59. Alwaysthinking — that illegal money didn’t stop coming in during the GE (all those pre-paid credit cards & obviously fake names that no one seems to be investigating). Couple that with ACORN (wtf happened with all that? seems to have been dropped) and the Ohio “register & vote without an ID” and I’m totally convinced there was voter fraud in the GE. Until there is a fair, impartial investigation into ALL OF THAT no one will convince me that he won OH, PA. NC or VA.

  60. Prolix, it that the Al Franken “Deep Thoughts” Jack Handey. Al endorsed the book? That’s a clue.

  61. Hey! I’m in moderation — bb, free me!

  62. Roses and lunch during secretary’s week (or whatever it is called today) would not be enough to reward your secretary!

  63. bluelyon — of course the book is satire — but not very successful satire, because the “sold out” status is courtesy of the true believers who don’t get it. That is my position.

  64. Angie, as a general rule, you never want to be starting sentences with relative strangers with the phrase:

    “ooh, but you know what I am willing to do?”

  65. 3W, I was just being facetious, but it sounds like something Jack Handey would endorse.

  66. Alwaysthinking — it’s administrative assistant day now. But I have a “legal secretary” which seems to be the title in vogue now for a person of her training, etc., which is why I refer to her as my secretary. No insult was intended.

  67. 3 Wickets — we’re family here — the only strange one is you. LOL

  68. Prolix,

    We should publish a book of your comments! It would be a lot funnier than Pocket Obama.

  69. That’s the complement from you I’ve been waiting for all day.

  70. bb — thanks for freeing me!

  71. Prolix — I second bb — I’d pay the $5.95 for yours.

  72. No problem, Angie. You guys are making me laugh–and I needed that!

  73. I do wish I could find an old copy of a Chinese medical journal during Mao’s era. It was sent seriously to medical libraries in the US. One article reported that when a soldier was injured, Mao appeared to him miraculously on the field and he immediately stood up, despite his horrible wounds, and praised him for saving him. The thing was in living color, too.

  74. BB,

    Thank you. At least my book would be typeset as opposed to crayola stenciled by a 27 year old plagiarist.

  75. I don’t think it’s satire … I looked at the publisher’s website and they sell Presidential memorabilia. I think this book is a straight transcript of his speeches.

    This is really creeping me out.

  76. Prolix — did you write this review on Amazon:

    How exciting. Now I can be an Obamatron everywhere I go with my Dear Leader tucked nicely into my government provided pants!

    britgirl — on closer investigation, I have to agree — it wasn’t intended as satire but it certainly IS satire. (and it is definitely Obots who bought it out)

  77. also lurking

  78. Yep, I’m with you, Angie, on the illegal money thing — I doubt we’ll get the answers in time to do any of us any good at all. Still, I was sad to see so many people who were apparently hooked on the O.

  79. Gotta go to bed. Have a good night all.

  80. I like this one too:

    Yes, you will read this and you will Obey the One.

    Remember, you will – Obey the One.

    …now bring me your little sister.

  81. night britgirls!

    Hello elderj!!

  82. So the collaborative filtering feature on Amazon that recommends other John Wayne wingnut books is a conspiracy by the right? Will have to check in with Jeff Bezos. Didn’t know he swung that way.

  83. hey angie

  84. Angie,

    Didn’t write that one, but my endorsement would go something like this:

    I love my Obabible. When my mother brings her friends down in the basement where I live, I just call up one of the handy quotes and it leaves my mom’s friends looking at me like the RCA dog. Also, it is good when I go to the Sbarro’s or Taco Bell — you know when the table tilts to the left, you can always use the little blue book to make it tilt back to the right.

  85. Am I the only one LMAO at the reviews? This guy brings up a good point:

    Why buy this book here? Im sure it will be provided for free in the re-education camps.

    but sadly, the little grasshopper is wrong –nothing is free in Obamaland.

  86. Is there a name for Obot type creatures who come from the far right and who march to the radio frequency of Rush Limbaugh. Is it even physically possible to astruturf from the right.

  87. Prolix! LMAO — of course, yours is the best one — OMG I have to catch my breath!!!

  88. I’m going to move before they take me to the re-education camp

  89. Angie — I’m just not up to date on current titles for the week — I was just joking (not insulted). I used to have a secretary and an administrative assistant in addition to my professional staff of medical journalists. (And they had some humorous ways of getting back at me from time to time — like leaving a naked mannequin upside down in my chair when I returned from lunch! I discreetly won’t say more about that :).

  90. Prolix,

    You should post it. We could all go rec it up to the top too.

  91. Hi elderj!

  92. Speaking of satire, have you all seen this?

  93. Bluelyon. I’m not seeing the palm branches, but omg anyway.

  94. bluelyon — I did see that. It is disgusting to me how we are so far gone in this country that we can’t even recognize sacrilege when we see it anymore. (and no, you don’t have to be religious or a Christian to recognize that recreating Jesus’s entrance into the “city” complete with donkey & palm fronds with Obama as “Jesus” is sacrilege).

  95. Frenly,

    Don’t be so quick to dismiss reeducation camp. Personally I’m hoping for the great weather of Gitmo and an activities director from Abu Ghraib. We are talking F.U.N.

  96. Bluelyon,

    OMG, I read about that, but I never imagined…What is wrong with these people??!!

  97. elderj — you & me both! I hate to sound cold-hearted about this, but I figure in 2 years anybody who has the need & the $ to file bk will have done so by then — I’m outta here after that.

  98. At first I thought the artist was serious, but I think he’s just as appalled at the Obama worship as we are. Gawd…at least I hope that’s his take. There is snark, just in the description.

  99. Prolix,

    Don’t get your hopes up. We’ll probably get sent to Oklahoma in the summer or Montana in the winter. They have those camps built all over the west now.

  100. What Angie said.

    No offense to any Iowans, but what is up with your state.

  101. Great weather at Gitmo maybe, but I wouldn’t count on AC — and I need AC like the flowers need the rain — I’m so weak, I’d fold like a cheap suit & start naming names after one summer day without AC.

  102. Britgirls, Wayne was a sexist and a chickenhawk, I’d think he’d be an object of admiration for the liberal blogger boys. They have a lot in common.

  103. bb— ahh don’t harsh Prolix’s mellow. He (or she??) is just trying to ride off into the dark night with a smile

  104. I’m in moderation again! I’m sorry bb — please free me! 😦

  105. bb –you want torture? try New Orleans in the summer — 100 degrees in the shade with 100% humity — you can actually “see” the air. To describe it as sauna like is an insult to saunas. And, like I said — I bet they will not have A/C’s at the camps.

  106. Prolix and BB,

    Since Nancy turned down Alcatraz for Gitmo today, that lovely island in the Bay is also available.

  107. elderj — I’ve always thought Prolix was a guy — I think because his avatar (despite it’s color) is kind of masculine looking.

  108. Angie,

    “..I’m outta here after that.”

    with no particular destination in mind, as the song goes.

  109. Not to worry, kids, the bloom is already fading from the O-rose. Almost every day, I scan the subject heads and most intriguing stories from RCP, Instapundit, and a number of blogs covering the political spectrum. Not even a week has gone by, and there’s already a good deal of uh-oh-ness surfacing. For whatever reason, I’ve long been able to sense cultural and political, even economic, currents way ahead of time. (So why aren’t I wealthy, huh?) Maybe it has something to do with being a perennial outsider, more of an observer than a participant (something which served me well for a long time as a freelance writer).

    My strong sense is that the recent O-insanity will reverse course much more quickly than almost anyone would have forecast as recently as last week After all, O-worship is about as rational and substantive as the pet rock or hula hoop. Remember the macarena? Umm hmmm. Problem is, we’re stuck with a fad in the Oval Office and we’ll undoubtedly pay. But any Conflucian could’ve predicted as much , many months ago.

  110. 3 Wickets — oh no, I know exactly where I’m going — Greece — if I’m going to live in a country with a dysfunctional government I’m going to live in one that has perfected it.

  111. Did y’all see that the DC consulting/lobbying company with a 40% increase last year?

    It was the Podesta Group, as in the brother of the Transition Office. His brother said they don’t talk about things like that.

  112. Call me crazy, but I still think Hill can do 2012.

  113. I’ve always thought I was a guy too, especially given the masculine hair style of my avatar.

  114. Well, yeah. The ‘hairstyle’ looks like one of those displays some types of male birds make.

  115. Kat5 — I think you are right.
    As to the “O-sanity will reverse course much more quickly than almost anyone could have forecast” I would (ahem) like to remind everyone that I predicted back in October that if Obama “won” he would be “passe” before April & that by October 2009 you wouldn’t be able to find one person who admitted voting for him –In fact, I bet anyone here $10,000 cash money on it. No one took me up on that — good move guys. 🙂

  116. I got my wallet stolen last time I was in Athens. Didn’t take it personally, wonderful people. Hotter than a sonofab!tch that land. Lovely for a few weeks tour, but you will come back. Btw, that is not a question.

  117. Yes, Angie, NO would be a perfect place for a reeducation camp.

    Well, I’d better get some sleep. Night all!

  118. Night BB.

  119. 3 Wickets– I was born in Athens — have an apartment in the city & a house 40 miles outside near the beach — spent every summer of my life there until I had to start working for a living – unlike Ah-nold –I will not be back.

  120. Night BB!!

    Oh, my places in Greece have A/C.

  121. I can’t see anyone avatar (for some reason)

  122. It was the Podesta Group, as in the brother of the Transition Office. His brother said they don’t talk about things like that.

    BWAHAHAHA! Yeah, and I just fell off the turnip truck yesterday.

  123. elderj — clean your “cache” (whatever that is) & you should be able to see the avatars.

  124. Swell Angie, you’re a fortunate woman. Just wouldn’t have taken you for somebody who would let a single individual like Barry influence what you wanted to do with your life and times. Course, it’s absolutely none of my !^#$@@ business and I don’t have the full picture. You must be a dual citizen, but why now when America needs you most.

  125. also, by “my places in Greece” I mean my mom & dad’s — but what is theirs is mine an all that jazz.

  126. Angie,

    Good thing since turnip trucks are reeducation camp jitneys.

  127. aw, I love a hot bath in my jacuzzi

  128. 3 Wickets — no offense, but if America needs me they should have d@mn well LISTENED to me. Really, if people would just keep it in their head as a “given” that I’m always right, we could save a lot of time & heartache.

  129. That better be a berry or wifi you’re on afrocity. Nothing electric. Are you running on batteries?

    Prolix man, you take snark to an illegal level..

  130. three wickets, I am back at my laptop.
    I am not that ditzy.

    Angie it was a Lush bath.

  131. cache is cleaned… still can’t see it

  132. Prolix — LMAO!! See why you should write that book? anyone else would have written “taxi” not “jitney” — you are a rare talent. I’m so glad you’re on this board.

  133. Kat5, on January 27th, 2009 at 1:16 am Said:

    Not to worry, kids, the bloom is already fading from the O-rose. Almost every day, I scan the subject heads and most intriguing stories from RCP, Instapundit, and a number of blogs covering the political spectrum. Not even a week has gone by, and there’s already a good deal of uh-oh-ness surfacing. For whatever reason, I’ve long been able to sense cultural and political, even economic, currents way ahead of time. (So why aren’t I wealthy, huh?) Maybe it has something to do with being a perennial outsider, more of an observer than a participant (something which served me well for a long time as a freelance writer).

    You are a participant observer — your assessment of yourself is the personality type who can indeed see trends ahead of time. We tend to stand back and watch — never followers — never sheep — never part of the mob.

    While shallow, clueless folk fell for the Obama con/snake oil/traveling preacher man game — we could see that he is nothing by a naked con-man.

    Today I was in Seattle (Boat Show) and young and dumb with that awful Obama graphic — the circle with the blue and red lines. Enemy territory. But most of the Obama signs are gone — just a few cars.

    The young and dumb (and really delusional old farts) will hang on myth — these are the hard core. The ones who decided that gosh a dem had to be better than bush and voted for the con man — will realize the error of their way.

    So WHEN DO WE GET TO SAY — WE TOLD YOU SO!!

  134. afrocity — oh, I’m jealous –I’m going to have to wait for the weekend — I’m too lazy to clean my bathtub during the week.

  135. Angie, yeah. If only people would listen as well as they read blogs, the world would be a finer place. And I’m being serious.

    So guess your mind’s made up? Not even a little bit of shimmy room?

  136. I’ll probably move to Africa once they start the camps….

  137. 3W, as a child my baby bottles were filled with vinegar with a scotch chaser.

  138. Wasn’t my Governor Blago a handsome rascal today?

  139. elderj! LOL — do you have family there or are you just curious to go?

    3 Wickets — don’t take everything I say too seriously –if the bottom falls out for real (and we haven’t hit bottom yet) then I’ll do whatever I do then — 2 years from now is way too far ahead for me to plan.

  140. Prolix,

    Acetic acid with ethyl alcohol. That would explain the lava.

  141. I have friends there and can live pretty well for low cost

  142. Prolix,

    If you’re a woman, I’m pretty sure I know you. If you’re a man, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know you.

  143. but — I do mean it when I say that the next 2 years will be the years of the BK attorneys — filings are so high right now (a traditionally “dead” month) & they are only going to get higher — after that though, it will dry up as everyone who can afford to file will already have filed.

  144. afrocity — what did Blago do today?

  145. elderj — where in Africa? Don’t go to some place like Sierra Lyon (no matter how cheap) even though it is supposed to be beautiful it is dangerous!

  146. Karl Rove has been subpoenaed again concerning the firing of the US Attorneys. I wonder if he’ll ignore this one.

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/01/26/house-judiciary-chairman-subpoenas-karl-rove/

  147. Angie, that’s what we used to call in college a mindf#@k. Boys hate that sh!t.

  148. I meant Sierra Leon.

  149. Blago was on the VIEW today

  150. 3W, I’m a guy, got all the original equipment and never been into cross dressing. As for not wanting to know me, what a coincidence, that’s the same thing they say to me at family reunions.

  151. GAgal — does a bear sh!t in the woods? Obama will not pursue it either — bank on it.

  152. frenly,

    Sh!t, another one who sounds serious. Which country? You know I grew up there in Africa.

  153. Ghana…

  154. afrocity — what did he say? did he tell Joy to STFU? If so, I vote for him to be President.

  155. Afrocity, was Blago charming on the View. Did he try and hit on Elizabeth.

    Angie, you know business is all about cycles. BKs as you call them now, incorporations and IPOs later. Contract law is contract law. You should stay with us.

  156. 3W — where in Africa did you grow up?

  157. It was a good interview and JOY made an ass of herself. She kept ruffling his hair

  158. Liz, had a death in the family and was not there.

  159. A bear and a rabbit were sh!tting in the woods next to each other. The bear turned to the rabbit and asked, “do you find that sh!t sticks to your fur?” The rabbit said, “Yeah, as a matter of fact.” So the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass.

  160. LOL

  161. OMG. Jon the Groper’s girlfriend – works for the White house (whatever that means), is a former Maxim model and graduate of Harvard. He’s even deleted his Facebook account. Yeah, I wonder why. That’s pretty much the article as a whole, but here’s the link.

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,483285,00.html

  162. frenly,

    I don’t know you, but I respect you. So I will tell. Uganda. Land of big daddy himself Idi Amin Dada.

  163. Thanks for the visual 3w.

  164. Ghana is a good one — stable government/economy. You never hear any bad stuff going down in Ghana (of course, you hardly ever hear anything about Africa in the American press unless it is a slow news day). Plus, English is the official language.

    3 Wickets –I’d poke my eyes out before I did contract law. I do debtor’s bks because I actually enjoy helping people file for bk.

  165. 3 Wickets — I told that joke here on this board a month ago!

  166. Q: What’s the difference between an Obamabot and a sack of manure?

    A: The sack.

  167. Afrocity,

    Which visual, the poor rabbit or Idi Amin.

  168. Well it’s a Richard Pryor joke, so you don’t own it…nah, nah, nah…

  169. Jmac, on January 26th, 2009 at 11:17 pm Said:

    Here’s another one – Chia Obama. It’s got to be a joke – but who knows?

    http://www.chiaobama.com/

    Someone on liberal rapture said they were going to get the chia-obama to put pubes on their head-o-state, uh, toy.

  170. Jon Favreau’s alleged girlfriend is not only a former Maxim “model” but she is also a former contestant on the reality show “For Love or Money!” GAH! How did a reality show wh0re get a job in the WH? Isn’t there some kind of screening or back ground check involved? I mean, pretty girl, but if she has such low self esteem to pose in Maxim it is no wonder that she’s dating a pig like Favreau. Here is here quote from Maxim about the kind of guy she is looking for:

    What she really wants in a guy: “You have to be passionate about something. I don’t care if it’s your job or your hobby or your shoes. Something has to make you tick; something has to make you move.”

    Job, shoes, empty suit –all the same in her mind. (shakes head) (btw, she would have been better off with a shoe freak).

  171. afro: LOL

    I can’t believe the fun I’m having reading foxnews. I’ve always thought Demi Moore and Ashton K made a cute couple. But I don’t whether to laugh or be creeped out by this story about Rumer Willis having pictures of her future stepdad on the wall of her boarding school room.

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,483105,00.html

  172. good night angie, 3w elder…

  173. Sorry for the OT, but this may need an Action Monday night and Tuesday morning! Pelosi seems to be on the right side this time.

    Officials: Family planning money may be dropped
    WASHINGTON – House Democrats are likely to jettison family planning funds for the low-income from an $825 billion economic stimulus bill, officials said late Monday, following a personal appeal from President Barack Obama at a time the administration is courting Republican critics of the legislation.

    Several officials said a final decision was expected on Tuesday, coinciding with Obama’s scheduled visit to the Capitol for separate meetings with House and Senate Republicans. [….]

    Several Democrats said Monday night that Obama had spoken personally with Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., about removing the provision. Waxman is chairman of the committee with jurisdiction over Medicaid and a close ally of Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif.

  174. G’night afrocity.

  175. gnight afrocity, et al… I’m hitting the sack….

  176. GAgal — it is totally creepy.

    Poor Rumer —

    Rumer Willis also says she hates her jaw and is insecure like every other 20-year-old.

    She hates that jaw with good reason. Can’t they do reconstructive surgery on that?

    Personally, I don’t think Demi & Ashton are a cute couple –who does she think she is, Cher? Well she isn’t & only Cher can get away with that sh!t.

  177. What she really wants in a guy: “You have to be passionate about something. I don’t care if it’s your job or your hobby or your shoes. Something has to make you tick; something has to make you move.”

    It might be stretch beyond shoes, but wonder how she feels about guys who get turned on by cardboard.

  178. G’nite Afrocity, frenly

  179. night afrocity! night elderj!! Love you both!

  180. myiq!!

  181. I’m making a small request — we need to call frenly by his proper name — elderj — I don’t know why he is doing this frenly thing, but he is elderj, dangumit!

  182. I don’t want to be un-frenly.

  183. myiq! LOL!

  184. Still not sure if the cardboard licking Jon Favreau is related to the “Swingers” Jon Favreau.

  185. I was really busy today, I’m just now catching up on comments.

  186. Well, puppy and mommy are tucked in, so I’m off to bed myself. G’night angie, myiq, et al. See ya soon.

  187. night 3 Wickets

  188. Is it true that the kennedys are now out to get Patterson?

  189. Seriously — that is what that rag the NYT is reporting — we all know how reliable they are!

    Here is a joke my cousin just sent me — I think it is pretty funny.

    The Irish Blonde

    An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at the casino and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.’

    With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,’Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!’

    As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed ‘YES, YES, I WON, I WON!’

    She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumb founded.

    Finally, one of them asked, ‘What did she roll?’
    The other answered, ‘I don’t know – I thought you were watching.’

    MORAL OF THE STORY

    Not all Irish are stupid; not all blondes are dumb; but all men are men.

  190. Where did you read that about the Kennedys?

  191. Ugh. Haven’t read the comments here yet, just responding to what BB wrote.

  192. I won’t link to fox again, but it seems Obama has inadvertently been linked to Bush by google-bombing “miserable failure”. The story:

    Newly minted President Barack Obama has enough problems to tackle without a Google bomb getting thrown into the mix.

    In 2003, haters of President George W. Bush with a mean streak and tech savvy managed to Google-bomb him as a “miserable failure” — meaning that a rash of users linked Bush’s name to the words “miserable failure” so that if the term was Googled, Web sites referencing him would show up higher in the search.

    Even though Google eventually diffused the phenomenon in 2007 by improving the link structure surrounding the term, now Obama may be dealing with the aftermath.

    According to a Search Engine Land article, Obama is inheriting all the old links from Bush’s biography to the term “miserable failure” because the link to his biography was swapped for Bush’s on the White House site on Inauguration Day.

    As a result, a search for “miserable failure” on Yahoo will likely yield Obama’s biography, and on Google, a search for “failure” will do the same.

  193. Seriously:

    It’s probably true, and about as big a threat as having the Quakers wanting to kick your ass.

    The Kennedy endorsements couldn’t deliver a single state, Teddy’s probably not gonna be with us much longer and none of them has much pull in NY anyway.

  194. Oh, angie. That one is so priceless. I don’t think you would find many men who disagree with it.

    Except my gay mates – they will argue that they don’t respond to boobage the same way as the straight guys. Huh Fredster?

    🙂

  195. myiq — don’t forget Teddy & Kerry didn’t help Obama on wit in MA during the primary.

  196. Did anybody read my little funny about the chia obama and the Obie head-o-state? I dunno…it cracked me up when I read it on liberal rapture.

  197. Oh man–the torch of uselessness has been passed to a new generation of empty suits, you are no longer needed. And she announced that she dropped out, making you all look even more pathetic than usual.

  198. tis true Scubs. One can look and appreciate but not exactly with the **same** appreciation as my straight brethren. 😉

  199. OT — but how many packs a day do y’all think Obama is up to now?

  200. What do toy trains and women’s breasts have in common?

  201. Fredfster – I’ll go back and find it, bud. I skipped right to comments and am just now going back to reading them.

    Noticing that angie wants us to call elderj by his real name “elderj” instead of frenly. I don’t know why he is doing that either but I will certainly call him on it, angie.

  202. They’re intended for kids but it’s grown men that play with them.

  203. Ummm, they both go round and round? (answering myiq)

  204. Hey, I’ll send the guv some $$s if he needs them for his reelection and it will be just because the Kennedys are being assholes.

  205. Fredster – same here. I’m already planning to send Gov P. some dineros when he comes up for election.

  206. Here’s a joke I got regarding Martian Sex:

    The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles.

    They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.

    Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.

    ‘Just how do you guys do it?’ asks Maureen.

    The Martian responds, ‘Pretty much the way you do.’

    A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another.. Mauree and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.

    ‘I don’t think this is going to work,’ says Maureen.

    ‘Why?’ he asks. ‘What’s the matter?’

    ‘Well,’ she replies, ‘it’s just not long enough to reach me!’

    ‘No problem,’ he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite impressively long.

    ‘Well,’ she says, ‘that’s quite impressive, but it is still narrow.’

    ‘No problem,’ he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

    ‘Wow!’ she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.

    The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways. As they walked along, Mike asks, ‘Well, was it any good?’

    ‘I hate to say it,’ says Maureen, ‘but it was wonderful. How about you?’

    ‘It was horrible,’ he replies. ‘All I got was a headache . She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.’

  207. For Angie: He’s doing a pack and a 1/2 at least.

    And let’s hope he’s not stoopid enough to try using a patch and then smoking too. It can lead to very undesirable consequences.

  208. We’re gonna have to do a dirty joke open thread.

  209. fsteele,

    Isn’t it amazing what officials can say ‘late on Monday” concerning a final decision to be made ‘on Tuesday’? A-holes. My voice is doubly silenced living in a red state. It really sucks.

  210. Too funny, Fredster!

    Agree, myiq – but maybe make it earlier so some of our other naughty Conflucians can join in (yeah, BB, I’m talking about you).

  211. myiq2xu, on January 27th, 2009 at 2:43 am Said:

    We’re gonna have to do a dirty joke open thread.

    We’ll have to have some guidelines about how rude and crude we can be.

  212. Well I think it’s safe to assume the kennedys and cuomos won’t be teaming up either LOL

  213. Gotta throw steaks on barbie. BRB.

  214. Fredster:

    Betty White/Cloris Leachman level?

  215. Noticing that angie wants us to call elderj by his real name “elderj” instead of frenly. I don’t know why he is doing that either but I will certainly call him on it, angie.

    Thanks scrubs! LOL

  216. Hey myiq: I’m not opposed to any level, but that sounds okay. If anyone wants to take it higher, I’m game.

  217. Seriously:

    What can the Kennedy’s do to him? Write nasty notes?

    If they had enough power to hurt him politically then Caroline would be on her way to the Senate.

  218. Damn, letterman went on this big rant saying Patterson made up a bunch of lies to deprive ny of ck’s wonderfulness. He wasn’t kidding either

  219. Don’t do a dirty joke open thread now! I’m getting ready to go to bed (actually –I should have been there 2 hours ago!)

  220. Seriously — No he effing didn’t! What a hack.

  221. I had a long day and I’m tired.

    I’ll catch y’all on the flip side.

  222. Night myiq!

    I’m off to bed too — good night everyone!!

  223. Angie @ 2:54:

    Shit I’ve wondered how the hell you function during the day!

    Nah, we’ll have to plan on a day for it get our jokes together.

    Damn, letterman went on this big rant saying Patterson made up a bunch of lies to deprive ny of ck’s wonderfulness. He wasn’t kidding either

    Carolyn Kennedy fucked herself up for that position. (with the Obama head-o-state?) 😆

  224. Nite everybody!

  225. It was bizarre. Brian Williams was on and I’m sure they discussed it too but I couldn’t wAtch.

  226. He said she’s brilliant and hill was one kind of senator and she would be another and devote the rest of her life to it. Channelling Modo perhaps

  227. He said she’s brilliant

    Well she certainly did nothing to get that across did she?

  228. i can’t slepp. Entertain me.

  229. Can’t slepp?

  230. Can’t slepp down here either.

  231. RD must have fallen back to slepp again. That’s good. Rest when ya’ can.

  232. I have to say I do love the customer comments — inspired Nobamism at its finest. I’m sure that even as we speak, outraged Obamazomboids are rushing over there to flood them out with worshipful paeans to The One and His Book.

  233. Pathetic, but you can be certain many were sold to people who think it is a piece of history. I just hope that the quotes are properly credited to the person who actually wrote the words, and the teleprompter reader doesn’t try to pretend they were his original thoughts.

    Did you hear his “noteworthy” statement from the inauguration speech….”you will be judged on what you built, not what you destroyed”. Profound. In 30 seconds, I could name at least 30 people who have been judged on what they destroyed. What a maroon! He thought it was so brilliant, he repeated it in his Middle Eastern TV interview as though Hamas would buckle under because of his prophetic phrase.

  234. every day I have several WTF moments…… I gotta find a new country to move to.

  235. So the ponies are at the camp? Sounds like fun, how do I get there?

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