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Obama And The Bloggers: A Play in One Historic Act.

A Glimpse of the Future?

A Glimpse of the Future?


THE SCENE: It is 2108. The world is clean, lawful, peaceful, prosperous and well-informed. The struggles of the 21st Century are far behind us.

We find ourselves looking in on the Museum of United States History, in the “Hall of Presidents Past.” A group of students is being led by a tour guide, and they are stopped in front of a holographic display entitled, “The Blogosphere and The Election of President Barack Obama.” Showing on the transparent wall are three life-sized representations of bloggers. There is a man in his late 30’s, white, with dark hair, wearing a button-down shirt and khakis; the label under him reads “Male Obama Blogger.” There is a woman, in her late 30’s, dressed in black and wearing chic glasses; the label under her reads “Female Obama Blogger.” Finally, there is a woman in her 40’s, dressed in business attire; the label under her reads “PUMA Blogger.”

TOUR GUIDE: And now, here is our exhibit on our first – but not the last – African-American President, Barack Hussein Obama. He was President from 2008 – 2012.

Here at the Museum of United States History, we assume that you already know the most basic facts about every President. Our goal is to focus on little-known but important aspects of each President’s history. That is why we have chosen to represent the way so many in the so-called “progressive” blogosphere helped elect President Obama.

STUDENT #1 (raising hand): The “blogosphere”? What’s that?

STUDENT #2 (to #1): Don’t you remember? There used to be something called the Internet where people would talk about politics and other topics of interest.

STUDENT #1 (with dawning comprehension): Ohhhh! That was the baby version of the Worldwide Peoples’ Network!

TOUR GUIDE: Exactly right – the Internet became the WPN. (smiling) Now, if I may continue?

STUDENT #1 (embarrassed): Sorry, ma’am.

TOUR GUIDE: Thank you. Now, many people are not aware that President Obama’s campaign was fiercely championed by the “progressives” in the blogosphere.

STUDENT #2 (raising her hand): Uh, ma’am? Sorry, but what’s a progressive?

TOUR GUIDE: At one point, people who considered themselves on the liberal side of politics adopted the label of “progressive.” This label, for some time, hid the fact that they hated women and the Presidency of Bill Clinton, and allowed them to take over the blogosphere from people who really were liberals.

STUDENT #1: Wow! Progressives sound like complete idiots!

TOUR GUIDE (smiling): You have no idea! Where was I? Oh yes. Progressives’ advocacy for President Obama was so inflexible that many on the left broke away and formed their own blogosphere. These bloggers called themselves “PUMAs,” representing either “Party Unity My Ass” or “People United Means Action.” Later in the 21st Century, these PUMAs formed their own UnParty, with which you are all familiar by now.

(THE STUDENTS NOD AND SMILE. STUDENT #3 holds up a pawprint badge that had been magnetically stuck to his jumpsuit.)

STUDENT #3: PUMA POWER!!!

TOUR GUIDE (holding up her own badge): PUMA POWER! (resuming the tour) Well, now we’re coming to the interactive part of the display. You’re going to love it, I promise! I need a volunteer to read a short sentence out loud.

(ALL THE STUDENTS raise their hands. The TOUR GUIDE picks STUDENT #3 out of the group.)

TOUR GUIDE: All right, John. Come to the display and read the sentence shown on the wall. Then, watch the reactions of all three bloggers to what you say.

JOHN (reading): “Today, Senator Barack Obama voted to give telecommunications companies immunity from prosecution for their illegal wiretapping activities performed at the behest of the Bush Administration.”

(ALL the holograms come to life.)

MALE OBAMA BLOGGER: Well, I know Senator Obama promised to filibuster this immunity, but that doesn’t matter. He’s just doing what he needs to do to get elected.

FEMALE OBAMA BLOGGER: Yeah! What you said!

PUMA BLOGGER: This sucks! And Obama broke his promise to vote against immunity, but Hillary didn’t. Why aren’t you supporting her instead?

(ALL holograms stop speaking.)

TOUR GUIDE: Did you see what happened there, John?

JOHN: I think so. Barack Obama broke a very important promise, and the PUMA blogger was the only one who said anything.

STUDENT #1: You mean – President Obama essentially gave the telecom companies permission to spy on Americans without repercussions?

TOUR GUIDE: Yes, Virginia. Bet you didn’t know that about him!

(ALL the students mutter confusedly.)

TOUR GUIDE: But this type of refusal to hold candidate Obama to account was not the only aspect of “progressive” advocacy. There was a darker side to it.

ALL STUDENTS: Ooooooh!

TOUR GUIDE (smiling): Indeed! (more seriously) The Obama bloggers actually spread false stories about President Obama’s opponents, both in the primaries and in the General Election. Believe it or not, they accused Hillary Clinton of making Obama’s face look darker and his nose look wider, in order to emphasize the fact that he was black.

(THE STUDENTS look puzzled.)

STUDENT #2: But didn’t people already know that President Obama was black?

TOUR GUIDE: Yes, of course! But it didn’t matter how nonsensical the accusation against Secretary of State Clinton was – the Obama bloggers would insist that it was true. Here, Virginia, you try reading the next sentence and we’ll see how the bloggers react.

(VIRGINIA steps up to the wall, and reads aloud.)

VIRGINIA: “I have absolute proof that Hillary Clinton has doctored this photo to make Barack Obama look more African-American.”

(THE BLOGGERS stir again.)

MALE OBAMA BLOGGER: OMG! I knew it! She’ll do anything to get elected!

FEMALE OBAMA BLOGGER: God, what a bitch! Has she no shame? She’s a racist!

PUMA BLOGGER: Hahahahahahaha! That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! You idiots, those are two different photos!

(THE BLOGGERS freeze again.)

JOHN: So, what happened to that story? Was it true, or not true?

TOUR GUIDE: What do you all think?

STUDENT #4 (hesitantly): Um, true?

TOUR GUIDE: Believe it or not, it wasn’t true. The PUMA blogger was 100% correct. Despite the progressives’ claim of “absolute proof,” there was none.

(ALL STUDENTS, shocked, whisper amongst themselves.)

TOUR GUIDE: Now, there was one more aspect of this election that was very under-reported at the time. That was the sexism of the progressive blogosphere.

I said before that the progressives hated women. Well, that was never more clear than when Barack Obama ran against John McCain and Sarah Palin in the General Election.

STUDENT #4: You mean – President Sarah Palin?

TOUR GUIDE: Very good, Jimmy! Yes, President Sarah Palin. But the first time she appeared on the national scene, she did not do very well. And unfortunately, the progressive blogosphere did not treat her very well either.

VIRGINIA: What about the female Obama bloggers? Surely they were at least fair in the name of feminism?

TOUR GUIDE: You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But no. Very few of the female bloggers criticized her on issues. Most were content to make fun of her looks, and her supposed lack of intellect and experience. Not only that, but they spread a lot of rumors about President Palin’s son, Trig – they said he wasn’t even hers.

JOHN: But why?

TOUR GUIDE: It was just another way to get President Obama elected. The “progressives” decided that nothing was more important than defeating the Clintons and electing Mr. Obama. You see, they thought that the Clintons were too moderate, whereas Mr. Obama represented a more leftwing side of the Party.

JIMMY:  They DID? But didn’t President Obama bring a lot of evangelicals into the Democratic Party? People who preached inequality for women and gays? Why would that be seen as leftwing?

TOUR GUIDE: Well, the progressives didn’t see it that way. They assumed President Obama was a liberal, even though he told them he wasn’t.

(STUDENT #2 raises her hand.)

TOUR GUIDE: Yes, Elaine?

ELAINE:  I don’t understand. How could these people have had any influence on the election? It doesn’t seem like they were smart, informed or truthful about very much of anything.

VIRGINIA: You mean, they were sexist egotistical lying hypocritical bigots!

(The entire group laughs.)

TOUR GUIDE: Ah, yes, “Nine to Five.” Still a classic! But to answer your question, it was because during the days of President Bush –

ALL STUDENTS: Worst President Ever!

TOUR GUIDE: Yes, indeed – the blogosphere was the only place for liberals to talk about how bad Bush was. The corporate media refused to report the facts about the President for several years. So, the progressive blogosphere built up a huge readership as the place to go for unbiased news. But unfortunately, what their readers didn’t know was that hatred of Bush did not equate to a love of liberal ideas like social and economic justice.

Well, we have come to the end of this part of the tour. Did you all enjoy it?

(The STUDENTS nod and smile.)

JOHN: It made me even prouder to be a PUMA.

TOUR GUIDE (winking): Me too, John. Let’s take a break before the next phase, when we’ll learn some little-known facts about Presidents Jeb Bush, Sarah Palin and Chelsea Clinton. Now, who wants hot cocoa?

(ALL THE STUDENTS cheer.)

(LIGHTS OUT.)

64 Responses

  1. I love it!

  2. Tell nit like it is

  3. oops – nit=it

  4. Thanks guys – it’s been so long since I’ve done one of these…I just haven’t had the heart…but I’m starting to think that many of the Kool-Aid types will get a clue soon, which gives me hope.

    🙂

  5. I love it! but thought that we’d hear about President Hillary Clinton too –

  6. Joanelle – I wish!!!! I don’t see it happening though, unless she goes Independent after a couple years of being SOS. She will not run against Obama as a Democrat ever again, I’m pretty sure.

    I think Obama’s Presidency will give rise to at least 16 years of Republican Presidents…unless we can make something else happen in 2012.

  7. Brava, brava — the concept of an Obanaut being interactive is great irony.

  8. madamab, on December 28th, 2008 at 12:13 pm Said:

    Joanelle – I wish!!!! I don’t see it happening though, unless she goes Independent after a couple years of being SOS. She will not run against Obama as a Democrat ever again, I’m pretty sure.
    ****************
    The only hope for Hillary would be if Obama does an LBJ and doesn’t run in ’12. He could be indicted or the job beats him down so much that the “retires” for health reasons. He is a very weak man; I don’t think #2 is a total fantasy.

  9. I agree SHV – he doesn’t seem strong physically or psychologically – and MO may do him and the nation in fairly quickly

  10. I want to know about the Term of President Hillary Clinton too , being a history buff and all wasn’t she elected in 2012 after bos disastrous first term ??

    teee heeee

  11. Thanks for the humor Madamab.
    I certainly needed some.
    Your choice of “Virginia” wasn’t by accident, was it?
    🙂

  12. Angelasmith – Of course not! 🙂

    Swan – From your mouth to Jeebus’ ears!

    And really, MO is a liability to Obama. She is just too angry and entitled for her own good. She is like a louder, meaner version of Caroline Kennedy.

  13. It is interesting how many Obots are suddenly “seeing things” about O that they hadn’t noticed before! 😯

  14. Are the zombies finally realizing they are under the bus with us?

    Or should we make them get their own?

    😉

  15. Well, the Pres. Jeb Bush part gave me the willies, but another wonderful production, Madama B!!

    *** applauds wildly ***

    Pres. Chelsea Clinton, now that would rock!

  16. This is one of your best madamab!

    I love it!

  17. I’m for the option of B0 imploding during his first and only term, which he will not get to serve out in full. I am convinced that only one of the many truths needs to get out for the game to be over.

    Meanwhile, on the other evil side of town, the puppet master has unlimited resources to keep the secrets secret. (It must be Tuesday somewhere.)

  18. Really good madamab! Excellent!

    Every time I think people are getting it, they seem to drop to another level of zombisam. A number of people I have run into know what Barry is, but still” hope” . They would rather a false hope than no hope at all. When folks can finally let go of the hope blanket is an individual thing.

  19. paper doll, on December 28th, 2008 at 1:20 pm

    The hardest hope to let go of is false hope; our job has to be to try to give people some real things to work toward and therefore feel hopeful about.

  20. Thanks everyone!

    Is TC acting weirdly for anyone? I can’t log in to WordPress and I have to access the page via Blackberry.

  21. Oh, gawd, I strongly believe they should have their own bus, I don’t want them under here with us. 🙄

  22. Sophie, on December 28th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
    IMO, it will be ” game over ” when the top, global 1 percent are though with Barry and that is some time from now. They want him to shred every social safety net 1st. …oh and bait every wackadoodle on both sides of every conflict into aggression…Barry’s undo list is long .

  23. Heidi Li, on December 28th, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    Indeed and well said .

  24. paper doll – Obama certainly seems comfortable with the Rush Limbaugh conservative agenda of ending the New Deal.

    I mean, it’s not like the New Deal worked or anything. Why would we want to keep doing something that helped raise tens of millions of Americans from poverty into plenty? That would be so, so, un-REPUBLICAN!

    /snark

  25. I hope B0 isn’t thinking he’s smart enough to outsmart the puppet master…

  26. Agree with Taggles – one of your best playlets, madamab!

  27. Sophie – Who is the puppet master? I’m thinking that’s one of the scariest things about Obama. Who has bought him?

  28. madamab,

    I have soooo missed your plays. But this one was well worth the wait. I think it’s the best ever! It’s brilliant!

  29. Awwww, thanks, BB and everyone!

    🙂

  30. I guess Hillary never made it to the Presidency?

  31. Brava, madamab.

    But are we still a republic?

    Benjamin Franklin wants to know 😉

  32. That was such a nice break from poring over spreadsheets.

    {smiling wistfully}

  33. madamab, on December 28th, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    Basically when things do not work, the top 1 % make out like bandits….even more than usual. Certainly we have seen that for 8 years…. They know what they are doing .It’s simple math.

    total F-up = more loot

    They wish to continue to loot . But now when it all goes splat, they want a “Dem” at the wheel . The fact that he’s perceived as AA makes it extra fun for them.

  34. madamab: that’s the 650 million dollar question–who (or what)is the puppet master. Right now, it seems to be the same as GWBs.

  35. I have hope …in the adverage person, But I seem to park my cynicism here, at the Confluence lol! But scratch any cynic and you’ll find a disappointed idealist . The cynicism is the resulting anger.

  36. paper doll – I could not agree with you more. I do not buy all the anxiety about socialism. I wish! I think he is going to continue GWB’s disastrous crony capitalism.
    Hillary would have changed things drastically, and McCain would have changed things somewhat. The top 1% cannot have that.

    Heaven forfend they should lose their villas on Anse Chastenet!

  37. BB, re: Hillary – Not unless something very drastic happens. If she goes third-party, she could have a real shot IMHO. Otherwise, nagahapin.

  38. Four years is a long time , and this guy is already fucking up big time … who knows what he will get caught at .
    Does anyone else have the feeling that Gov Blago is playing if I go down, you go with me, bo ??

  39. Yep. I think the steps are as follows: If I go down, Rahm Emanuel goes down, and if he goes down you are in big trouble.

  40. I am so hoping that Blago opens his big fat mouth. He seems to be perfectly willing to throw Obama under the bus.

    Will he be allowed to? Who knows – but if I were Blago, JJJr, Valerie Jarrett or Rahm Emmanuel, I wouldn’t get into any small planes!

  41. More about Blago and Fitz and the other witnesses:

    Link

  42. “Oh, gawd, I strongly believe they should have their own bus, I don’t want them under here with us. ”

    What you said!

  43. PumainSeattle – I don’t want people like Kos/Bowers/ Arianna/Aravosis/Sully under our bus. But friends and family who were fooled by the propaganda – I want them back!!!

    🙂

  44. It is 2108. The world is clean, lawful, peaceful, prosperous and well-informed.

    wow, how did that happen? surely it wasn’t the Jeb Bush presidency. must have been Chelsea’s 🙂

    I love this play.

  45. New post up by taggles!

  46. kiki – Of course it was Chelsea’s! After her, the world came to its senses. It’s just that Obama was so bad that we had to go through some more Repubs in office first.

    NEW POST UP!!!

    🙂

  47. I have a feeling Blago isn’t going down, least not in proportion to the crimes, because he does want to take others down with him. I think that “whomever” is going to protect the rest of the dominoes, the last being B0.

  48. Teh Precious will implode before his first term is over. The walls are closing in. Claustrophobia is a b!tch. From Yahoo News via Politico:

    “The media glare, the constant security appendage and the sheer production that has become a morning jog or a hankering for an ice cream cone – it’s been closing in on Barack Obama for some time.

    Now the president-elect appears increasingly conscious of the confines of his new position, bristling at the routine demands of press coverage and beginning to chafe at boundaries that are only going to get smaller. . .All presidents and would-be presidents struggle with “the bubble” – the security detail and the always-there reporters that impose barriers to any spontaneous interaction with the outside world. But Obama seems to be struggling particularly hard, particularly early.”

    Full article here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20081228/pl_politico/16882

    All I can add is HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! The White House is a lovely prison.

  49. KJMontana – love it! Here’s a quote from Bill regarding life in the White House:

    “I don’t know whether it’s the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the federal prison system.” —Bill Clinton, on life in the White House

  50. KJM – OMG, no he didn’t just complain about being Preznit. Ya know what, Obama sweetie, there’s a little blonde lady in an orange pantsuit who would be verrrrrry glad to take that onerous duty off your hands, and let you be ambassador to Kenya.

    What a f*cking, f*cking *ssh0le. How DARE HE.

  51. madamab
    great play.
    on tv today infomercial for backtrack coin.
    On 60 minutes show on how backtrack got to the whitehouse. What are the odds on them telling the truth about the cheating?
    Wouldn’t be wonderful if your play became the real thing.

    WOMEN WITH INTELLEGENCE AND EXPERIENCE, MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM AND COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY ALWAYS

    PUMAS,BUBBAS, AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE

  52. […] at Partizane and The Confluence Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Obama-Biden News Round-UpGuess who is supporting […]

  53. Thanks, helenk!

    Um, no, I doubt “60 Minutes” will hold forth on caucus fraud, delegate theft and intimidation, ACORN, and the shameful, disgusting coverup of all of Obama’s foibles and scandals.

  54. I can’t believe he went to Kokonuts Shave Ice & Snacks. Everyone there knows that Matsumoto’s Shave Ice in Haliewa (on the North Shore) is da best.

  55. Excellent play, MadamaB! I’ve been hiding for a few weeks, unable to bear anything Obama or even PUMA, because everything seems so futile and depressing, but this one actually got a genuine LOL from me…genuine enough that my O-supporting partner wanted to know what was so funny. So I told him about your play, but left out the part that gave me the delicious lol…President Sarah Palin. 😀

  56. In their ever-present deference to the greatness that is Obama, the media must point out that The One has it far worse than any other President-elect in history:

    “For Obama, who received a Secret Service detail earlier than any other presidential candidate since the practice began, the scrutiny is much more intense.”

    Will my gag reflex ever settle down? I’m tired of always having vomit in my mouth–it’s spoiling the taste of my wine.

  57. I’m in moderation–don’t know why. Please rescue me!

  58. Okay, Nell – I can’t rescue you, but here is your comment:

    In their ever-present deference to the greatness that is Obama, the media must point out that The One has it far worse than any other President-elect in history:

    “For Obama, who received a Secret Service detail earlier than any other presidential candidate since the practice began, the scrutiny is much more intense.”

    Will my gag reflex ever settle down? I’m tired of always having vomit in my mouth–it’s spoiling the taste of my wine.

    LOL!

  59. Love the play! Isn’t it interesting that although McCain ran at his age, it seems inconceivable that Hillary could run in 2016. I don’t think she would be too old.

    I also am relishing the fact that some Obots are starting to smell a rat. Hey Obots, get your own damn bus! We’ve become rather proud of ours and suddenly find no room in it for you. 🙂

  60. Thanks, Madamab! 🙂

    Forgot to add–loved the new play. It’s been so long since you’ve posted one, I didn’t realize how much I missed them!

  61. I really loved the play, also, Madamab. Thanks so much. It certainly cheered this Hillary supporter. I also believe that Hillary will be strong at age 70. Hope we see her in the Oval office before that though.

  62. Madamab – this wonderful play renewed my thoughts of an All the President’s Men type book being worked on, even as we speak by some quiet little nerd reporter who couldn’t seem to get the “news” out because his paper didn’t want to print it. I see the book coming out in the early second quarter of 2009 -wow – what could happen then…another play????

  63. OT -with the end of the year upon us a colleague sent this cute little recap to me.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tlu3zo0jNc8&NR=1

  64. That’s really pretty joanelle!!!

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