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A Majority of U.S. Women Fear Gender-Based Violence–and With Good Reason!

And let’s please just start calling it “violence,” without qualifying it as “domestic” and somehow less important than violence committed by strangers. According to a recent survey of 1,000 adult women from 18 to 70 years old:

Fully half (54%) of American women worry they or someone they know will be a victim of domestic violence. Younger women ages 18-29 are most worried, with more than two-thirds (68%) saying they are worried about this threat. Of these younger women, 36 percent say they are “very worried” and 32 percent say they are “somewhat worried.”

In contrast, half (50%) of older women ages 30-70 say they are worried about domestic violence, with 23 percent of them saying they are “very worried” and 27 percent “somewhat worried.”

Fear of violence was even higher among African American women–60 percent are “worried” about being hurt by someone close to them and 34 percent are “very worried.”

And get this:

Two-thirds (66%) of all women and 73 percent of younger women say that addressing violence against women should be a top priority for President-elect Obama and Congress in the first year of the new administration. Most significant, eight in 10 Black women (83%) say violence against women should be a top priority.

Good luck with that.

Women live in fear of violence for good reason, according to recently released report on federal crime statistics, the National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS).

A new government report showing huge increases in the incidences of domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault over a two-year period in the United States deserves immediate attention from lawmakers and the incoming administration, Human Rights Watch said today. The statistics show a 42-percent increase in reported domestic violence and a 25-percent increase in the reported incidence of rape and sexual assault.

The National Crime Victimization Survey, based on projections from a national sample survey, says that at least 248,300 individuals were raped or sexually assaulted in 2007, up from 190,600 in 2005, the last year the survey was conducted. The study surveyed 73,600 individuals in 41,500 households. Among all violent crimes, domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault showed the largest increases. Except for simple assault, which increased by 3 percent, the incidence of every other crime surveyed decreased.

“The numbers in this survey show an alarmingly high rate of sexual violence in this country,” said Sarah Tofte, researcher for the US Program at Human Rights Watch. “This should serve as a wake-up call that more must be done to address the problem in the US.”

The projected number of violent crimes committed by intimate partners against women increased from 389,100 in 2005 to 554,260 in the 2007 report. By comparison, the number of violent crimes against men by intimate partners went down.

The report says that previous methodology used by the government to compile crime statistics greatly underestimated the rate of gender-based violence in the U.S. The increases in 2007 may reflect that change in methodology, suggesting that past reports have underestimated the atmosphere of constant threat that women must live with in this country.

At least one male columnist, Errol Lewis of the New York Daily News, has addressed this issue.

The best gift any adult can get for a youngster this holiday season – particularly the girls in their life – is straight talk about the epidemic of domestic violence that hurts or kills women and girls in every corner of our society.

We’ll someday look back and wonder what took us so long to shake off the shameful cloak of silence that keeps people from talking about domestic violence.

Gee, I wonder if it has anything to do with a pop culture where women are referred to as bitches and whores, and where high school girls are portrayed as sex objects in movies and on TV? And of course he doesn’t make the connection to the misogyny we have seen on public display for the past year.

And what about a presidential candidate and now President-elect who not-so-subtly encourages misogyny in the media and among his supporters? Does anyone seriously think that President-elect Barack Obama will really do anything to change the lives of American women for the better? This is the man who gave Hillary Clinton the finger, who compared Sarah Palin to a pig, and who has refused to address the disgusting behavior of his top speechwriter, and who has invited misogynist and homophobe Rick Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration. None of the so-called “feminist” organizations seem poised to fight for women’s rights to physical safety either. We have to find ways to and force the media and our government to take gender-based violence seriously. Women should not have to live in fear of violence and death just because they are women!

I absolutely believe that Barack Obama must take responsibility for dealing with the problem of violence against women. The first step he needs to take in this direction is to educate himself and raise his own consciousness. He should have to watch videotaped interviews with women and girls who have been raped and abused. We women must force him to wake up from his male chauvinist stupor and start being a President who respresents women as well as men and gays as well as straights. He needs to fire Jon Favreau and publicly acknowledge that he was wrong not to do it sooner. He could have made a difference by calling out the media and his own supporters for their sexism and misogyny over the past year. Instead he chose to use this disgusting behavior to advance his own career. The President wields a great deal of influence. If Barack Obama doesn’t lead on this issue, his attitude will translate into greater increased in violence against women.

Update:

In the comments, Bluelyon points out that columnist Errol Lewis (quoted above), while well meaning, has drawn a faulty conclusion from the shocking statistics about violence against women. He suggests talking to young girls about it, but what about the boys? Isn’t it even more vital to educate them about this problem? After all, most of the perpetrators are men. Thanks, Bluelyon. As sensitized as I have become to sexism, that one got by me.

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288 Responses

  1. I heard a statistic on the radio today that 1 in 3 girls are victims of sexual abuse — I group that in with violence as well because the motivation of sexual predators are the same as men who beat women: domination.

    There really is a war against women going on — and it seems to have started a long, long time ago.

  2. Today on the news (in Chicago), I heard a report about an adult male who was recently arrested for the rape of a 12 year old girl. I don’t know when this rape took place, but the rape kit that ultimately led to his arrest, wasn’t even turned in – or if it was, it wasn’t used by the authorities until recently.

    The report was intended to focus on the poor implementation of the rape kit findings even though the kit is used in emergency rooms everywhere.
    I wish I had listened closely. But the message was clear. The kits are used after a rape. The police ignore or avoid using the results.
    For what purpose? Is it to protect men? or is it to avoid giving validation to the victims? What?

  3. Wow, BB. What an amazing post – and one that really shows the magnitude of the problem women face in America.

    It really is a war, with women fighting, suffering and dying in silence.

    No more, no more, sisters! Awake and scream! There are more than 150 million of us and we demand that this end now!!!

  4. Angie,

    The number is usually found to be 1 in 3 to 1 in 4 women who experience sexual abuse or before age 18. The percentage of boys who are sexually abused is pretty high also. The difference is that girls tend to be abused by family members or family friends, while boys are often abused outside the home by coaches, scout leaders, that kind of thing.

  5. btw — sorry bb — but don’t hold your breath about Obama getting his consciousness raised — I truly don’t believe the man has a conscience.

    as for these women:

    Two-thirds (66%) of all women and 73 percent of younger women say that addressing violence against women should be a top priority for President-elect Obama and Congress in the first year of the new administration. Most significant, eight in 10 Black women (83%) say violence against women should be a top priority.

    Where the f*ck were they during this election?

  6. bb — the radio report I heard said 1 in 7 boys were sexually abused.

  7. Thanks, madamab. We can’t allow this to contine. How many years has it been since the early days of the “second wave” when women fought to have rape charges taken seriously and to force the system to deal with sexual abuse of children? We’ve made some progress in terms of getting society to recognize these problems exist, but actually changing things? Not so much.

    Every day in this country women are raped and/or murdered, mostly by men they knew. And it often seems that our culture just accepts this as “the way it is.” And of course the cable channels use the more sensational cases with young, beautiful victimes to sell products.

  8. leslie – The rape kit issue is one that has been a huge problem for a while.

    Someone who has been really on top of it has been Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney, my personal heroine. She has been a huge advocate of processing rape kits and identifying rapists through “cold hits” on DNA.

    Link

  9. Angie,

    That’s the number for boys that I’ve usually heard, but I’m guessing it’s really higher. Most of the time the perpetrators are men, although women do sexually abuse children.

  10. madamab,

    We need Carolyn Maloney in the Senate!

  11. angienc – they were voting for the black guy.

    😦

  12. I don’t live anywhere near NY. How can I help get her elected?

  13. bb — I wouldn’t be surprised if the number was higher for boys as I would be my life that even more of that abuse goes unreported due to the shame-factor (which I am guessing is higher in boys).

    not to be too OT — but TCM is showing Christmas in Connecticut with Barbara Stanwick right now — if you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor & watch!

  14. leslie – sign my petition anyway! You don’t have to be from NY.

  15. I guess I didn’t mean elected…. But unless her last name is a good Irish Kennedy name, what can she do?

    I have heard all of you refer to Carolyn Maloney for such a long time. It seems like she is a permanent part of the NY pliotical landscape.

  16. madamab,
    I’ll sign it right now!

  17. Thanks for the tip Angie! We just switched it on!

    My favorite Barbara Stanwyck movie? “Double Indemnity.” That vinyl wig she’s wearing is priceless…and the dialogue!

    “I love ya baby. I’m with you all the way…straight down the line!”

    LOL!

  18. madamab,

    I signed it when you first posted it, but I just signed again because I didn’t see my name. I might have clicked “anonymous” before. I also didn’t contribute. Do you have to give money to be counted?

  19. leslie – since 1992 she’s been serving the people of New York. She would be such a great Senator…

  20. I wish I could get TCM. Comcast makes you buy some sports package to get TCM. Wierd.

  21. BB – no, you don’t have to contribute. The petition won’t let you sign twice from the same computer either. So you’re probably okay.

  22. I don’t know what happened then, because I definitely signed it a couple of weeks ago.

  23. BB – that was a different petition. Mystery solved!!

    🙂

  24. My favorite Barbara Stanwick film is Double Indemnity too! I adore her.

    We were talking about old movies the other night — me, fif & SHV — I love old movies — dialogue was so much better then then now days — I think because they couldn’t really on special effects.

    BTW — fif — if you read this — I can’t believe I left out the all time best Capricorn man ever — Humphrey Bogart!!

  25. OK, that explains it. Thanks!

  26. bb~
    where I live, you have to spend $75-100 /month to get TCM. I always look and sigh and hope I can remember to name those movies in my netflix queue.And they are always those wonderful old films that the neighborhood blockbusters doesn’t carry and the employees have never heard of.

  27. um, that should be “rely on special effects”

  28. leslie — I’ve never used the netflix (afraid of technology) but I have to start now that I know you can get the old movies through it since you are right — the kids at blockbusters have never even heard of them.

  29. angienc – Do you know the movie “Ball of Fire?” My husband goes nuts over that one. He is a huge Stanwyck fan!

  30. angienc2 — I have had some good interactions with netflix people. They have been prompt and polite, and they actually talk with you instead of at you.

    I felt the same way (technology) but my sister talked me into it. I must say, it wasn’t a bad decision.

  31. Thanks for this post bostonboomer. This jumped out at me and pissed me off:

    The best gift any adult can get for a youngster this holiday season – particularly the girls in their life – is straight talk about the epidemic of domestic violence that hurts or kills women and girls in every corner of our society.

    I am sorry, but this is crap. I am not surprised it is a man that wrote this. It isn’t the “girls” that need to be talked to about violence directed toward them. It’s the BOYS who need to be talked to and TAUGHT not to do it.

    ARRRGH!

  32. some trivia for you — Sydney Greenstreet (Mr. Yardley in Christmas in Connetticut) was also Signor Ferrari in Casablanca and S.Z. Sakall (Felix in Christmas in Connettticut) was also Carl in Casablanca.

    I wonder if we can do 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon with Humphrey Bogart?

  33. Madamab I just cannot believe the scope of this problem in our supposedly enlightened country.

    I am one of those guys who thought it was bad but had no Idea how bad it really was.

    I never imagined men could be so hateful to women I hope you all believe it when I say how shocking this is.

    Oh, and I am a pretty informed guy. I want to help see the dirty little secret is that even in LGBT relationships Domestic Terrorism exisits.

    My Douglas left a abusive partner before we found each other. I met the guy he tried to clock me too one night over a small matter.

    Gays want to sweep domestic abuse/terrorism under the rug because it makes us look bad to the str8 community but it happens among us.

    The scale of this problem is crushing to littl old fuzzy. What can I do to help?

  34. The Ballad of Francine Hughes
    acapella

    Francine Hughes is the woman about whom The Burning Bed was written

  35. I loved Christmas in Connecticut ! I just ordered it from netflix. I bought it for my sister for Christmas a few years ago. If she only lived closer, I’d get to see it more often.

  36. Welcome to the terrifying reality of being a teenage girl these days. I can’t even go to the grocery store to get some milk for my mom without some nasty, fat old dude staring at me inappropriately. It is terrifying.
    And I can’t watch TV sometimes because every time I turn it on there is more and more proof that I am just a sexual object in this society.
    Sorry, it’s depressing, I was all ready in a sad mood and this post made it even worse. I started crying after I read it because it was all too much and I feel powerless.

  37. madamab — of course I know Ball of Fire — Sugarpuss!! Plus, Gary Cooper.

    anyone who hasn’t seen the movie, take a look here at Stanwick as Sugarpuss O’Shea singing Drum Bogie:

  38. Fuzzy:
    Come to Ohio and give me a hug. And do some shopping with me and make me laugh. 🙂

  39. I had an Aunt Blanche in east St Louis she planned to die in the house her children were born in no matter the nieghborhood was going to hell.

    She carried a shotgun to her car every day looked just like Stanwyck from “The Big Valley” days…

    Oh can I say she used her hand gun in the back yard to “keep Practiced”

    NO one ever gave her a problem she died peacefully in her home she was 93 yrs old I think.

  40. fuzzy – it is awful, isn’t it? And shocking in its sheer magnitude.

    Shtuey had a very good idea: to make a video interviewing various women who have been victims of violence and putting it on YouTube. It would put a human face on this tragedy, like Spielberg’s project (Shoa, I think it’s called) about the victims of the Holocaust.

  41. bluelyon — you are right about that — I worked at an all boy’s Catholic high school for year & they talked so effing much about how horrible abortions were but never ONCE about the boys’ responsibility to NOT participate in creating unwanted pregnancies in the first place.
    But of course, it is always the woman’s fault for getting pregnant in the first place.

  42. angie – I think you are more of a movie fan than I am, and I didn’t think that was possible!!!

  43. Last year, when I was seventeen I worked in a resturaunt for a little bit and the Supervisor, Pete, was this creepy old dude with a huge nose. He would harass all the girls, namely me, and he was an *ss to all of the boys and the women over thirty.
    He would always make these provocative comments to me and imply I was a little sl*t or something. And he would look at me all nasty and I was terrified of being aloe with him and I would try to hide when he came near.
    I eventually had to quit, and my friend told me to write to Corporate but I told her to forget about it. I shouldn’t have, but sadly, I have that “accepting” attitude too.
    There are just certain men I never feel safe around, and they are everywhere. It comes with growing up.

  44. madamab — when I was little we were not allowed hardly any tv except for when movies came on (this was back in the days before cable). The movies were always on the Sunday Matinee & they were always the old classics — I grew to love movies from those days.

  45. OH HAI, Angie!!!
    ((((Angie))))
    Fuzzy, you had an Aunt Blanche? I love the name Blanche, because Blanche/ Rue McLannahan is my favorite Golden Girl! 😀

  46. You guys have a thing for old movies.

  47. LI – I’m sorry – I had a really bad work experience when I was your age too.

    {{{hugging LittleIsis}}}

  48. LittleIsis

    I would love to go shopping it would help me a bit I love to shop and my sister in law and her mom swear that between me and my brother (her hubby) we make the perfect husband….and I dont mind hoolding her purse while she trys on a dress no matter how rediculous I look with that designer purse in my hands…

    She is my best friend!

  49. ((((hugging madamab))))
    It’s all right. Sad Little Isis is leaving now. She is cheering up a little bit 🙂

  50. leslie — btw — if you have never seen it, order “The Philadelphia Story” with Katherine Hepburn, Cary Grant & Jimmy Stewart (not to be confused with Philadelphia with Tom Hanks) — one of my all time favorites — luckily for me it comes on TCM quite often.

  51. When the head of the catholic church makes a woman becoming a priest ; or helping a woman become a priest ; punishable by excommunication from the church and thereby according to that church condemned to hell for all eternity unless you fully repent of your sin ; when the President select of the USA which is supposed to be the most progressive country in the world openly uses misogyny and sexism to get selected , what we are fighting is pandemic ; when so many cultures on the planet devalue women as little more than chattel ; we have no choice but to fight it .

  52. That’s a great idea madamab, but we have to make sure that part of the project is focused on disarming the “it’s the woman’s fault too” mentality that so many in our culture suffer from. I cannot tell you how many times people have argued about how “she” deserved it – because she stayed; because she forgave; because she was unfaithful; because because because.

  53. Fuzzy:

    Would you hold my purse while I tried on a few dresses? You would be my pal if you would! Fuzzy, you’re the best 😀

    *dances with Fuzzy*

  54. little isis — sadly there is a lot of that when you work in a restaurant — I worked as a waitress when I was in college — luckily by my sophomore year I got a job at a family owned Italian restaurant (not a chain) & the husband & wife who owned it treated me like their own daughter — they didn’t allow any of that sexist crap or bad language in their place.

  55. angiens2 — I just bought “The Philadelphia Story” yesterday!
    I love that movie. It is one of my favorites!
    I also loved “Philadelphia” with Tom Hanks.
    But “The Philadelphia Story” !!! it is one of the best movies evah!

    Too many good movies, so little time… 😦

  56. Little Isis — I promise you that if you watch “Casablanca” “The Philadelphia Story” “Some Like It Hot” “The Maltese Falcon” “Double Indemnity” & “Mildred Pierce” you will have a “thing” for old movies too!

  57. Of course I have excellent taste when phelping her pick out her clothes!

    We also like to experiment in the kitchen…Lisa had lots of gay friends growing up and it was a requirement that her potential husband ahve a gay family member…

    My brother sweated that one for a while so when I came out to him he was almost overjoyed that he could ask her to marry him.

    I couldnt have let him down he is a nice guy. If I wasnt gay I would have pretended so he could get his girl he has to beautiful daughter and love them completely.

    Also he wrote our city’s domestic partnership law and supports single payer healthcare and gay marriage…

    Does this make him an enlightened republican? Or is he just a real democrat in denial?

  58. leslie — LOL! talk about synchronicity! I agree — The Philadelphia Story is one of the best movies evah!! I could watch it over & over.

  59. SOD,
    You are so right. because because because……..
    And it hasn’t changed in the 60+ years I’ve been around.
    *shaking my head and my fist*

  60. SOD – Absof*ckinglutely. No woman “deserves” to be treated with anything but respect and love.

    OTOH, as a sisterhood, not as individuals, we are falling down on the job. There are so many of us that I think we feel someone else MUST be doing something. It’s like in The Tipping Point – sometimes the more people witness a violent event, the less likely they are to take action.

  61. Swannie:
    I agree. I always thought that Patriarchal Religion is part of the problem.
    My mom made me read this book when I was thirteen or so by some evangelical Christian woman, called Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Heart Mind and Body in a Sex Saturated World.
    It was the stupidest book, filled with Josh McDowell quotes, ect. But the woman who wrote the book said that teenage girls who dress in short skirts or whatever that get raped asked for it because they “sent a message” by dressing the way they did and it was supposedly partly their fault.
    And it also said that a woman’s purpose in life is to have children and serve her husband because Eve took the apple from the Serpent, or some bull.
    And then she went on to describe how unmarried young women should conduct their romantic lives, saying that a woman shouldn’t even kiss a guy before she marries: maybe on the cheek. And that when she hugs him she has to hug him from the side so her boobs don’t rub against him. Else she is advocating premarital sex.
    I don’t normally advocate burning books, but I threw that f*cking book in my dad’s fire pit.

  62. angienc2 — Don’t forget “All about Eve”.

  63. littleisis ~

    Your dad’s fire pit was the perfect place for that book!
    Good thinking.

  64. I love old films too. The ones Angie mentioned are great. “The Philadelphia Story’ is so swoonable – Cary Grant AND Jimmy Stewart AND “Cheekbones” Hepburn at her most gorgeous – WOW! What a movie, what a movie.

  65. Angie-

    that list is like the seven celuloid virtues that you have there…oh and after you watch the real movies you must watch the Carol Burnett Parodies of those films.

    You can see in each one of them she too loved the old movies as much as we!

  66. leslie — my eyes should be gouged out for forgetting “All About Eve” — but in my defense, the second I hit “submit” I went “D’Oh!”

    Bette Davis — also an aries like me — is my very favorite of all my favorites!

    Little Isis — you have to see that one too — plus, every Alfred Hitchcock that you can get your hands on.

  67. Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant in Bringing up Baby. I could watch it a hundred times and still laugh!

    I used to love old Joan Crawford movies. Talk about chewing the scenery! Mildred Pierce was one of my favorites.

  68. Angie: There is a lot of that EVERYWHERE. If I went into retail it wouldn’t change. And maybe if I watched Casablanca. Actually, I was looking at a previous thread where you guys were talking about old movies and I recognized all of the names because my best friend in the whole world is obsessed with old movies and old fashioned things.
    Fuzzy: I would say that makes him an underground Democrat, but the Democrats aren’t exactly advocates of Gay Rights or Gender Equality these days.

  69. fuzzy ~

    where do you find those Carol Burnett parodies?

  70. LittleIsis on this one ocasion I will condone the burning of books!

  71. a few are on youtube and sometimes you see her shows sold on TV

  72. little isis — and after you “graduate” into “great movies” by watching those — then we will move on to Martin Scorcese classics– Mean Streets, Raging Bull & Taxi Driver

  73. Pah! I am in moderation! Get me out!

  74. bb — Bringing Up Baby is a great one!

  75. In my Humble Opinion..(yes I spelled it out) Carol Burnett was the Best Drag Queen Ever!

    Bob Mackie owes her bigger than the Ernie Flat Dancers!

  76. I have a Tennesee Williams box set in my Amazon shopping cart. I’ve been trying to talk myself out of buying it, but I may lose the argument. Here are the movies:

    A Streetcar Named Desire
    Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
    Sweet Bird of Youth (Paul Newman at his most gorgeous!)
    Night of the Iguana
    Baby Doll (Banned by the Catholic Legion of Decency)
    The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone (Vivian Leigh and a young Warren Beatty)

  77. bb — if you like “Bringing up Baby” you’ll like “Holiday” too.

    angie — Have you ever seen “You Can’t Take it With you” and “Arsenic and Old Lace” ? “It Happened One Night” omg, what a collection of movies………….

    I love Jean Arthur and Jimmy Stewart. in “Mr Deeds Goes to Washington”.

  78. Little Isis …. see how smart you are !!!!
    what is scary is at what a young age the indoctrination begins .

  79. fuzzy — Carol Burnett is fabulous — I will never forget when she did Scarlett with the drapes! I’m going to look for the clip on you tube — brb.

  80. Fuzzy: You speak mah language!

    Angie: My bff mentions Martin Scorsece a lot.

  81. littleisis – Can you imagine a woman writing insane drivel like that? The self-loathing of people like that is astonishing. It’s like all those evangelical ministers (Ted Haggard comes to mind) who scream and yell about how evil teh ghey is, then it turns out they’re having gay sex with meth-addicted hookers.

  82. Lets not forget the Wizard of Oz….and Gone with the Wind….both out in the same year but one was recognized and one was not…Wizard of Oz was of the two IMHO the better flick but it was overshadowed by GWTW!

  83. Angie,

    Taxi Driver is my all-time favorite movie. Good Fellas is close.

  84. leslie: a better place would maybe be in a lake somewhere.

    Swannie: The indoctrination continues. And it drives my mother crazy. But maybe it’s in my nature to resist.

  85. It Happened one Night if you watch that film and that travesty Titanic back to back….IHON wins hands down. see actuall survivors of the event were used as consultants it the making of the film.

  86. wow BB, how can you resist? I say get it. You deserve it!

  87. I realize this is about women, but there has been mention of sexual abuse to boys and men.

    I have a son. He was sexually assaulted by someone he trusted. Some of us had a feeling about the guy’s interest in my son and tried to say something. BUT, a guy being sexually interested in a guy and assaulting the guy are two DIFFERENT things. We did not anticipate the latter. The police wanted my son to report it. They wanted to arrest the guy. At first my son was angrier than I ever have seen him. Then, he just wanted to forget it. He did not report it. The perpetrator was a fairly high profile person in the arts. My son’s father died and I think he saw this guy as a mentor.

    As a mother I had told my son that he better not get anyone pregnant, and, if he did, he’d better be prepared to take FULL responsibility, including marriage.

    I guess the irony is that it is my son and not me who had this experience. It probably is less reported due to embarrassment.

    It is all part of the incredible amount of violence in our society.

  88. I thought it was Mr Smith goes to Washington-with Jimmy Stewart?

  89. leslie — yes — I love all of those too — It Happened One Night especially — I read that when Clark Gable took off his shirt in that movie & wasn’t wearing an undershirt the sale of undershirts dropped dramatically & the makers were ticked off!

  90. LOL! I remember that Scarlett skit on Carol Burnette. I loved her movie parodies.

  91. BB — (I used caps to get your attention) Order that box set now.

    And if you go to care-evanston dot org and then link to amazon, and order it, the animal shelter gets some kind of contribution.

    that reminds me, i have to do that tonight.

  92. resisance IS in your nature, it is in all of ours because other wise we would all be Stepford Wives ewwwwwwwwwwww

  93. fuzzy….you are SO right. Mr Smith it is…
    How could I have blown that?

  94. leslie confused Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (with Jimmy Stewart) & Mr. Deeds Goes to Town (with Gary Cooper) — easy to do with those titles plus they are both great movies, btw.

  95. madamab, on December 19th, 2008 at 11:06 pm Said:

    littleisis – Can you imagine a woman writing insane drivel like that? The self-loathing of people like that is astonishing. It’s like all those evangelical ministers (Ted Haggard comes to mind) who scream and yell about how evil teh ghey is, then it turns out they’re having gay sex with meth-addicted hookers.

    I swear it was the dumbest book I have ever had the misfortune of reading. Some of the stuff in it was so stupid I just laughed as I read it. Maybe I can find it on Amazon… Ted Haggard repulses me and everyone like him, but sadly, I was raised by Self Loathers The indoctrination began at a young age, as Swannie says. Lucky me, people may wonder about me sometimes, but its unbearable to see the spirits of young girls being suppressed by bull sh*t like that.

  96. The Doily Sisters!!

  97. Fran,

    I’m so sorry your son was hurt like that. It’s too bad he didn’t report it, because pedophiles keep right on doing it and don’t stop. But I can also understand his reluctance to deal with the results of reporting it.

  98. IHON is classic beyond classic.

    Old movies are the best.

    But don’t you tell me “The Wizard of Oz” is better than “Gone With The Wind!” Them’s fightin’ words!

    (However, never shortchange old Judy Garland movies. She was so talented!)

  99. Vivienne Leigh was such a wonderful actress.

  100. Fran, my brother was gang-raped aboard ship (he was in the Navy). He never told anyone.

  101. which actress/actor was it that had to cut her hair in WWII because all the women in the work force had copied the style and it was affecting production because the hairstyle did not mesh with heavy machinery ….

    Great women ruled Hollywood then what the F*ck happened Paris Hilton Linsay Lohan? give me a break!

    Oh and Nicole Kidman will never ever ever be a Bette Davis or CKate Hepburn!

    What class they had!

  102. Aw! The Wix of Oz is one of my favorites! But I love Wicked, and Elphaba. Want to see that play so bad.

    Poor Wicked Witch, she got a bad rap!

  103. My bad. It was SHANNON Ethridge

  104. Little Isis,

    Don’t feel bad. When I was around 11 years old, I read “Twixt Twelve and Twenty,” by Pat Boone. And nobody even forced me to read it. Ugh!

  105. Here it is (the “dress” is at 3:39)

  106. Fran, oh my goodness, I’m so sorry! I agree that these things often go unreported.

    {{{hugging Fran}}}

    One of my best male friends was sexually abused by his uncle for three years from the ages of 13-16. Once my friend finally said something, the family didn’t want the embarrassment, and basically told the uncle to cut it out. He did and that was that – at least, to the family.

    Of course, my friend has never gotten over it. He actually thinks his sexuality was changed because of the abuse. And he sees his uncle all the time. It’s very unhealthy and sad, IMHO.

  107. bluelyon — what a terrible thing to happen. How did you ever find out? Your brother must have trusted you so much to tell you. I am so sorry that happened.to him.

    My sister was molested by a neighbor when she was 8 or 9, but didn’t tell any of us – in fact I think I am the only one she told and that wasn’t until just a few years ago. (She is in her 50’s) I wish she had told my parents, But then they were so old fashioned in so many ways, they might not have done anything (sadly).

  108. bluelyon – That is incredibly awful. I hope he can talk to you about it. I am glad that my son was able to talk to his friends and to me. Just like girls and women, they need to know that it is not their fault.

  109. Fuzzy,

    Titanic was so bad that by the end I wanted to put Leonardo DiCaprio out of his misery. The only part of that movie I enjoyed was the special effects when the ship sank.

  110. Bluelyon,

    How horrible!

  111. leslie and Fran – I actually found it out through a male friend that he told. He’s never told me to my face. We were both abused as kids by a female babysitter. We have talked about that. Not the other though.

  112. bluelyon – Good God, that’s horrible!! Good thing I have an endless supply of hugs.

    {{{bluelyon}}}

  113. madamab — how can anyone compare Gone with the Wind & the Wizard of Oz — they are so totally different — I love them both — they were both made in 1939 (can you believe it?) & were both nominated for the Oscar that year (GWTW won best picture & best director).

  114. fuzzy — I don’t know about Nicole Kidman… She was super in “The Hours”. And despite the reviews of “Moulin Rouge”, I loved her in that.
    But you are right. She is no Kate or Bette.

    bb — Can you believe it! Pat Boone! And our parent thought he was so clean-cut. Wasn’t he cheating on or beating his wife?

  115. {{{fran}}}
    {{{bluenylon}}}

    Some people in this world are incredible sick I have a difficult time believing they are part of the same “human race” as the rest of us.

  116. I also have an endless supply of dark chocolate, which I am always happy to share.

    {{{passes chocolate around the Intertoobz}}}

  117. She carried the whole film Ms Judy did!

    Ms Leea had Olympia D’Haviland and Butterfly McQueen….to their credit and mammie I loved her…

    she spoke the truth in a segr@gated world when she said

    “Better to play a maid in the movies than to be a maid”

  118. I agree that none of the “stars” now days compare with the REAL movie stars of yesteryear.

    But at least Nicole Kidman & Charlize Theron come “close” looks-wise.

    Oh, and I loved Moulin Rouge — how can you not love something so over-the-top theatrical as that?

  119. Little Isis , that is how most women used to grow up …reading crap like that telling us how to be good wives , that our worth was determined by the man we had etc etc

    TH The Good Wife’s Guide
    From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

    http://j-walk.com/other/goodwife/index.htm

    Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
    Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
    Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
    Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
    During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
    Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
    Be happy to see him.
    Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
    Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
    Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
    Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
    Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
    Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
    Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
    A good wife always knows her place.

  120. I loved Butterfly McQueen when Rhett Butler gave her that red petticoat, and when she would say “It ain’t fittin’, it just ain’t fittin’!”

    Plus Olivia DeHavilland – incredible actress too.

  121. fran and bluelyon – hugs to both of you.

    and what angie said is how I feel in a nutshell. Calling those people “human” is insulting to the rest of us.

  122. Swanie — I have a copy of that in my desk — I always look at it when I want to get outraged!

  123. swanspirit — “Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.”
    I think it was Roseann Barr (or maybe Phyllis Diller) who said ,
    “Just before my husband comes home from work I throw things into the closet and spray Pledge behind my ears to let him think I’ve been hard at work all day.” LOL

  124. madamab — did you know that Joan Fontaine (she is in Suspicion btw — a great movie) is Olivia De Havilland’s sister? Joan had tried out for the role of Scarlett but the studio offered her the role of Melanie & Joan replied , with disdain “Melanie? You can give Olivia Melanie!” (there was some sibling rivalry there). Of course, Joan lived to regret it as Olivia won the Oscar for that role & she became, for the first time, a bigger star then Joan.

  125. Angie…..it makes me laugh …..really hard belly hurtin laughter … ROFLMAO

  126. SWanspirit I need my vomit bucket and I only got halfway through that tripe….

  127. Swanspirit – wow.

    Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
    A good wife always knows her place.

    Is it really difficult to see how the current atmosphere of women as chattel developed?

  128. swanie — I showed it to my mom — she had the same reaction!

  129. butterfly mcqueen was prissy sorry mammie was played by Hattie McDaniel sorry my last post was confusing…

  130. oh angie — I so agree with you on “Moulin Rouge”.
    Over the top and beautiful stars to boot! what’s not to love.

  131. yes angie, I did know that…and frankly, Joan was a TERRIBLE actress. Have you seen “Ivanhoe?” Elizabeth Taylor ate her lunch, her dinner and her breakfast in that movie. LOL

    Olivia was far more talented and more beautiful, IMHO.

  132. Do you guys remember a book that came out back in the ’70s or early ’80s. It was written by some born-again Christian. It was about how to be the perfect wife. One of the pieces of advice was to meet your husband at the door wrapped in Saran Wrap with a drink in your hand. I can’t remember the name of the book right now, but it was a huge best-seller, all about how to be submissive to your husband.

  133. swanie — I meant my mom had the same reaction as you — she laughed her ass off!

    And this is from a woman who has her husband of 41 years wrapped around her little finger!

  134. On a lighter note….. When I was in college, working as a secretary, I was offered a job with the top guy (a Nobel Prize winner in science). I had the feeling he was a dirty old man, so I said ‘no’. I found out years later that he was brought up on sexual harassment. My tip-off: He introduced himself to me on the elevator and I knew that a man of his stature had only one interest in a young, unimportant, but pretty girl. My mother taught me.

  135. bostomboomer – that was Maribel Morgan, I believe. The book was The Total Woman, as I recall.

  136. bb – wasn’t that “Cosmopolitan” ? lol

  137. sorry tried to go back and read that it is such tripe….such awful nasty stinking rotten tripe-the good wifes guide? tripe!

  138. oh yes, sorry fuzzy – it was Hattie McDaniel I liked.

    BB – Saran Wrap? A friend of mine went to our theatre ball in Saran Wrap. There were a lot of layers, but ya know, it didn’t leave a lot to the imagination!

    😉

  139. Jeebus, look what I just found over at Amazon.

  140. fuzzy ~ please tell me what is the site you refer to as YTD .

  141. Early suffragists included abolitionists, who saw a woman’s lot being not much better than a slave’s; since she could not hold property, control her own income, or seek custody of her children if divorced. Kentucky in 1890 was the last state to consider women as chattel property, who could not own the clothes they wore.

    And evidently GWB and the preacher chosen by the current president select STILL do not think women can exercise the right to choose ……….

  142. Oh and Hattie McDaniel won the oscar for playing mammie in GWTW best supporting actress….a first for any african american woman.

    The next african american woman to win a best supporting actress oscar?

    Whoopi Goldberg- in Ghost

  143. Bluelyon,

    That’s it! The Total woman. It was ridiculous and a big seller.

  144. bluelyon…

    What is that!!! ugghhh

  145. I’ve been beaten, friends of mine have been beaten, family members don’t admit to it.

    It’s the state of affairs at this point in time.

  146. Whoopi won for The Color Purple, not Ghost, IIRC.

  147. Bluelyon – you know the scariest part? The guy who wrote “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” thinks that book “The Surrendered Wife” is a good guide to relationships!

    I’ll scratch that one off my “must read’ list!!

  148. bb — I think you are talking about Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin — LDS love this book

    The author also wrote a book titled The Fascinating Girl — haven’t read it, but I’m sure it is full of the same tripe.

  149. I misspelled her name. Here is Marabel Morgan’s wikipedia page

  150. Fran,

    Back in my younger days, I was asked to go into a few offices for a chat with older men. It’s amazing how your radar always picks up the signals too. The problem is a lot of women don’t listen to the internal warning bells.

    I think we all probably have stories like that. I was once groped by a salesman when I was shopping in a furniture store. I still shudder to think of it–especially because I felt really creepy about him and ignored the signals.

  151. If I tell leslie what YTD is everyone promise to hurl no veggies at the old fuzzybear

  152. oh gawd madamab!

  153. Deja_Vu, that is awful. So sorry to hear it.

    {{{hugs Deja_Vu}}}

    You know who was great in The Color Purple, besides Whoopi?

    Oprah. A flaming narcissist, but a great actress.

  154. No, Angie. The Total Woman is the book I was thinking of. I never actually read it, but it was a huge media sensation for the longest time. Here it is:

    http://www.amazon.com/Total-Woman-Marabel-Morgan/dp/0671732110/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1229748407&sr=1-1

  155. blu-sorry you are so right I am wrong I just liked her acting in ghost so much loved her in the color purple to!

    but still it was more than 50 yrs between oscars for AA women

  156. and today in , of all places the NY TIMES

    http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=990CE7DB133DF935A3575AC0A963958260

    Women as Chattel: In China, Slavery Rises
    E-MAIL Print Single-Page Reprints Save Share
    LinkedinDiggFacebookMixxYahoo! BuzzPermalinkBy SETH FAISON
    Published: September 6, 1995
    In the shadow of the ancient wall that still surrounds this city, several hundred people gather each day along a muddy street to offer themselves to employers at an unofficial labor market.

    Many are young women from the countryside, and for them the market holds a special danger: it may be the first stop on a journey that begins with the promise of a job, sees rape and violent beatings along the way and ends in a life of domestic slavery.

    They can see what happens in China but they cannot see what they did to Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton ??

  157. OMG — do you mean to tell me that we on here just came up with 3 different books (Total Woman, The Surrendering Wife & Fascinating Woman) all of which were written post 1970 & all of which were best sellers & all of which are premised on being submissive to your husband?

  158. I just looked it up and Whoopi won the Oscar for “Ghost”

    fuzzy, you are correct once again!

  159. I’ve got a “groping” story about a hair stylist. I was fourteen. He didn’t grope me…he pretended that he need me to sit oddly for him to blow dry my hair and then, um, pressed his leg into my crotch. When the regular chair didn’t work to “dry” my hair, he had me move into another one. Eventually, all the rest of the stylists left and it was just him and me. I was so scared. Fortunately, my mother showed up to pick me up and I got the hell out of there.

  160. Thanks for clearing it up, leslie… I thought it was The Color Purple.

  161. swanspirit-

    Oh and now they give a $hit?

    what about last january when it mattered?

  162. no veggies hurled…but definitely it’s sleepytime for me, gotta get up and slosh my way through ice and snow to go sing in temple tomorrow.

    Everyone stay strong and send supportive thoughts to each other. The War On Women continues and gathers strength, and violence and abuse are everywhere in this f*cked up society. We must make it our mission to end the hatred and make this world a more peaceful place for everyone. Make love, not war, and be good to each other.

    Peace to you all.

    PUMA PEACE HAKA 👿

  163. Young women are not safe because they are sex objects and older women like me are invisible or dismissed as useless.

  164. thanks I am a whoopi fan….aaI was ready to turn in my fan club card

  165. btw — Holiday Affair with Robert Mitchum is on TCM right now.

    I love Robert Mitchum — he was a true bad boy — once when he was in Shreveport filming a reporter at the local newspaper interviewed him & asked him if he liked to hunt; he replied that he “liked to hunt poontang” & they ran that quote in the story! LMAO! I guess the poor reporter didn’t know much about hunting!

  166. ‘night, madamab. I’m glad I don’t have to go out in the snow tomorrow. And we have another 7-10 inches coming on Sunday. I don’t think I’ll get out until Christmas Eve.

  167. night madamab!

  168. angie – LOL!

  169. woops I think htat was an old article still ……….

    and is it true Oprah the traitor is buying a house in DC to be closer to her bo ??

  170. g’nite madamab!

  171. I am just amazed… Whoopi won bazillion of awards for her performance in “Ghost”. She also won the Golden Globe for her role in “Color Purple”.

  172. Robert Mitchum. I loved him in Cape Fear. And did you ever see Night of the Hunter? Talk about Film Noir! Another good one was Out of the Past.

  173. boomer — I just read upthread that you hated Titanic. That is my absolute favorite movie of all time. There is nothing more romantic than the reunion scene at the end. I guess I shouldn’t tell you that I saw it (along with my daughter) 32 times in the theatre.

  174. Correction. I will have to go out in the snow–to shovel. But I’m not going to drive anywhere.

  175. btw — my grandfather on my mother’s side looked just like Robert Mitchum — same face, same build, but slightly darker hair.

  176. In fact, here is a picture that looks like it could be of my grandfather:

    http://www.fanpix.net/picture-gallery/079/384079-robert-mitchum-picture.htm

  177. Thank you Bluelyon … wow she has got it BAD ….

    I will never forgive her for not supporting women in this past election . He owes her bigtime, I wonder what her paybacks will be …

  178. SOD – I loved everything about Titanic except for the Jack/Rose story. What, the story wasn’t tragic enough? The part where steerage is flooding and the woman is putting her children to bed….and the man grabs his son just before being washed under? Bawled my eyes out! the frozen victims floating in the water….horrible.

    On the other hand, I wanted to pry Jack’s fingers off that damn board and push him myself.

  179. g’nite madamab. I trudged through the snow today, and we are supposed to get more. I plan to trudge again tomorrow, too. I’m going to the movies again! (I’m on vacation !)
    I’m going to see “Doubt” with two – make it three of my favorite actors — Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, Philip Seymour Hoffman.

    Aren’t they all wonderful?

    See you all sometime tomorrow.

    fuzzy – you never told me………………….

  180. angie – in my dad’s younger days he looked like Steve Allen. Sounds like him too!

  181. darlins i am fading fast have a great nite little
    thank you for being such wonderful company
    SWEETEST DREAMS
    and a little reminder 🙂
    GODDESS RADIO at 10 am on SAT

  182. SOD,

    Thirty-two times! Wow! Hey that’s OK. It bored me silly and it was so long that my butt hurt by the end, but who am I to judge? I tend to like mystery and suspense more than romance, but I have a lot of “guilty favorites” too. For example, I love “Legally Blonde” and “Miss Congeniality.”

    But my favorite movies tend to be darker ones–like Taxi Driver and Fargo. I love the Coen Brothers!

  183. Leslie Have my future x-bf on the other line sorry

    he thinks we need to give obama a pass on sellecting Rve Saddleback for his coronation invocation
    YTD = Y** to D********

  184. ‘night swannie!

  185. bluelyon. lol!! OMG — I can’t believe anyone could feel that way about jack and rose. The kiss on the bow of the ship…oh to experience that kind of romance….

  186. oooh bb, me too! I have a shelf for all my “quirky” movies.

    My all time favorite movie is “The Fisher King.”

  187. fuzzy…methinks your future ex needs help.

  188. boomer — I liked all of those movies too. Fargo was something else, with a great ending (the wood chipper);

    Another interesting and dark film was Pulp Fiction. It is a “watch it again” film.

  189. remind me to tell leslie tomorrow YTD off to bed I am not driving tommorrow

  190. ‘nite again.

  191. In 1967, I went to see “The Graduate” with a friend and ended up staying through a second showing. Then I went back and saw it again with my boyfriend. Another great movie that year was “The Producers.” I’ve seen that over and over.

  192. I love Pulp Fiction, but have to be in a good place mentally to watch it. It was on teevee the other night and given the emotional roller-coaster of the past months, I took a pass.

  193. Movies I could watch over and over and over:
    ET
    Titanic
    Coal Miner’s Daughter
    Napolean Dynamite
    Monty Python and the Holy Grail
    Air Bud (I Love Golden Retrievers and movies with dogs that talk!)

    OK — so I’m weird and have a weird movie list!

  194. I loved Pulp Fiction too, but there are some scenes in it that I just don’t want to see again. I do love Samuel L. Jackson. I’d watch him in anything. I even went to see “Snakes on a Plane” in the theater. LOL!

  195. boomer — let me guess, the Adrenaline shot scene, right?

  196. SOD,

    You’re not wierd. I can watch Napolean Dynamite over and over too. I love that movie. I liked Air Bud too. I went to it with one of my friends kids.

  197. Well that was bad, but the worst one for me was the scene toward the end with Bruce Willis getting sodomized.

  198. bluelyon — I agree about The Titanic & it is why I didn’t like the movie either — why make up the fake Jack/Rose story? There were enough real stories on the Titanic that could have been the focus of the story — I can’t remember the name of one famous older man who, after helping the rest of the women in his party onto life boats, his wife refused to go without him saying something like “they had been at each others side for x many years & she wasn’t going to leave him now.” So they both stayed on board & died. That is a real love story, imo — although the actors who would be needed for those roles would not be “young & beautiful” so I’m sure Hollywood would not be interested.

  199. SOD,

    I liked Beetoven–the one with Charles Groden?

  200. Well…… Since this is on topic, one movie I just got from Netflix was Bordertown. One of my brothers recommended it to me. It is based on a true story about the very high rate of rapes and murders of girls in the factory towns along the border of Mexico. (I can’t spell the word.) A good movie, but I could hardly take it. One of the young women, left for dead, survives and is determined to name her attacker. Jennifer Lopez plays a reporter who goes undercover in a factory.

  201. SOD — LOL — the only movie on your list that I could watch over & over again (and actually have) is The Coal Miner’s Daughter!

    Well, that is why there is chocolate and vanilla!

  202. bb — it isn’t Bruce Willis who gets sodimized in Pulp Fiction — it is Marsalles Wallace who does & Bruce Willis saves him with the Samuri sword.

  203. boomer — dog movies are the best. I’m so excited to see Marley and Me. I hope it lives up to the book. I’m taking my nieces when they’re here.

  204. btw — I love Pulp Fiction & Kill Bill Vol. 1.

  205. Movies I can watch over and over:

    The Princess Bride
    Tombstone
    Fargo
    The Fisher King
    Meet the Parents
    Shrek

  206. The most ridiculously irreverant scene in Pulp fiction is when Travolta is talking to Jackson in the car holding the gun on the guy in the back and Jackson hits the bump and the gun goes off. MESSY…

  207. Angie,

    There was an older movie about The Titanic disaster that I really liked. It was called A Night to Remember.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0051994/

    But my all-time favorite shipwreck movie is Lifeboat, with Tallulah Bankhead, directed by Alfred Hitchcock.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0037017/

  208. Strauss twas the lovely elderly couple that stayed on board together

  209. Ohhh. Hitchcock!

  210. Angie,

    Really? See, that shows how memories get warped and mixed up. I still don’t want to see that scene again.

  211. Since we are saying, movies I can watch over & over:

    Casablanca
    It’s a Wonderful Life
    All About Eve
    The Philadelphia Story
    The Sound of Music
    The Wizard of Oz
    Cabaret
    The Godfather
    The Godfather 2
    Fargo
    Raging Bull
    Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

  212. Boomer — I have that movie (A night to remember). My daughter and I were on such a Titanic kick we bought just about everythint Titanic and then went to the special Titanic exhibit when it was in Orlando.

  213. Another movie I can watch again and again is Jackie Brown. I absolutely love that movie. The scene where Robert DeNiro shoots Brigette Fonda is priceless. How ironic that I’m writing about it in thread about violence against women. There are so many unforgettable moments in that movie.

  214. Crap, I knew I would forget one — add to my list:

    Unforgiven

    my list could never be complete without one Clint Eastwood western on it — Unforgiven is definitely his best one, too.

  215. angie – I agree on the Sound of Music. Do you also like “My Fair Lady?”

  216. oh, heck, I forgot Some Like it Hot — the funnies movie ever! When Jack Lemmon says “I’m engaged!” & Tony Curtis says “Congratulations! Who’s the lucky girl” and Jack Lemmon says “I am!” I die laughing every time. So, my final list:

    #

    Casablanca
    It’s a Wonderful Life
    All About Eve
    The Philadelphia Story
    The Sound of Music
    The Wizard of Oz
    Cabaret
    The Godfather
    The Godfather 2
    Fargo
    Raging Bull
    Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown
    Unforgiven
    Some Like it Hot

    also through in every Alfred Hitchcock movie ever made as well as every Sean Connery James Bond film.

  217. bb- that’s why I said I had to be in the right mood to watch the movie. and I’d leave for that scene.

  218. Hey, why am I in moderation? My revised list:

    Casablanca
    It’s a Wonderful Life
    All About Eve
    The Philadelphia Story
    The Sound of Music
    The Wizard of Oz
    Cabaret
    The Godfather
    The Godfather 2
    Fargo
    Raging Bull
    Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown
    Unforgiven
    Some Like It Hot

    also every Alfred Hitchc*ck move ever made & well as every Sean Connery James Bond film.

  219. breaking news:

    Today Attorney General Jerry Brown filed his brief with the California Supreme Court arguing that Proposition 8 should be invalidated.

    His position demonstrates that he is a leader of courage and conviction.

    We are very pleased that upon review of the law, he has moved from his previous statements that he would defend Prop 8.

    As the state’s highest attorney, Jerry Brown has done his job today to defend the Constitution and protect the rights of minority groups, including the more than 18,000 same-sex couples who married in California .

  220. I love, love, love Julie Andrews. I will watch any movie that she’s in!

  221. Movies I can (and have) watched over and over:

    Taxi Driver
    Goodfellas
    The Producers
    Young Frankenstein
    The Seven Year Itch
    Cape Fear (both versions)
    Invasion of the Body Snatchers (both versions)
    Rebecca
    Rear Window
    Fargo
    The Big Lebowski
    Any Dirty Harry movie
    Dr. Strangelove
    Sleepers
    Annie Hall
    And many more

  222. SOD — I’m in moderation! Can you let me out?

    and yes, I agree about My Fair Lady — can’t believe I didn’t put it on my list — this always happens to me when I try to start narrowing movies down — I simply cannot do it — I have so many favorites!

    I also adore Sabrina (the Audrey Hepburn/Humphrey Bogart one).

  223. Wha happened to my comment about Julie Andrews?

  224. Oh nooo! I’m in mod purgatory!

  225. bb — I love every movie on your list!

    “Gentlemen — we can’t fight here! This is the war room!”

    god, I forgot Patton too — love that movie.

  226. I just typed a long list of favorite movies and it disappeared into the ether. It guess the spam filter didn’t like it.

    One romantic movie I just love is Rebecca. I can watch that again and again. Joan Fontaine and Lawrence Olivier and Hitchcock.

  227. blue lyon — I’m in mod purgatory too — at least we are in good company!

  228. Oh wait. It showed up. How did that happen?

  229. Oh, and I can watch Galaxy Quest over and over.

    Agree about Young Frankenstein. “Yes! He vas … my boyfriend!”

  230. Oh — I’m out now!

    bb — my favorite Joan Fontaine movie is Suspicion.

  231. I got another one of yours out a minute ago, Angie. I think something is funny with wordpress tonight. Yes, Suspicion is good too. Cary Grant is in that one, right?

  232. Peter Boyle as Frankenstein: “puuht on reeetz!”

  233. Cary Grant! Love him and Audrey Hepburn in Masquerade!

  234. Fuzzy,

    That’s great news!

  235. thanks bb!!

    Yes, Cary Grant & Joan Fontaine — I’m big on Cary Grant (Capricorn, you know). Humphrey Bogart movies too (he’s another Capricorn)

    Which reminds me: The Maltese Falcon is one of my all time favorites that I can watch over & over again too.

  236. The scene where Peter Boyle as the monster gets up and runs out of the room with his arms flailing around is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

  237. Late and see everyone’s on to other things now but:

    Rape kits aren’t processed because it so expensive to do so. There was a report recently that in Florida -can’t remember which major city- there are 7000 rape kits sitting on a shelf that haven’t been processed. They said it would cost over a million dollars to process them and it does no good unless they have a reason to obtain DNA from a suspect. It made me wonder how many of those tests are from the same men. 7000 men? Or 1000 raping 7 times? I guess they’re still waiting for the eyewitness to come forward. Right.

    Fran, you mentioned your son being molested. My best friend from years ago was a gay man who commited suicide 10 years ago. When he was 15, he was raped by a guy he met one night that he thought was gay and was flirting with him. I don’t think the guy was gay, just a brutal rapist. This rapist was in his early twenties so he wasn’t really a pedophile, just a hater. It was really hard for me because I didn’t know what to call this piece of sh!t. Rapist, piece of sh!t,bigot a$$hole didn’t seem to be enough. Even now I can’t spit out the names he needs to called.

  238. “Frau Blucher”

    “neeeeiigh!”

  239. I love all of Bogart’s movies, but my favorites are To Have and Have Not and The Big Sleep. The chemistry between Bogie and Lauren Bacall was so amazing.

  240. help me! i’m in moderation

  241. Frequency
    Unforgiven
    The Shootist
    8 Mile
    Gladiator
    Dogma
    Long Kiss Goodnight
    Armageddon
    Lethal Weapn
    Jackie Brown
    From Dusk ’til Dawn
    O’ Brother Where Art Thou?

  242. OK…I fell asleep holding my laptop. I guess it’s time to say g’nite!

  243. myiq – oh yes, O’ Brother is fabulous. George Clooney rocks.

  244. You know what corny movie I really loved? Dianne Keaton and Jack Nicholson in Something’s Got to Give.

  245. That’s bad SOD….better get to bed!

  246. I loved The Long Kiss Goodnight!

  247. Yeah, bb. I love the blood pressure taking scene. Whee!!

    AND the one where they are sharing reading glasses.

  248. ‘night sod. Your post today was great! Let’s keep banging on them.

  249. Usual Suspects
    Sixteen Candles
    Better Off Dead
    Con Air

  250. bluelyon,

    I liked that movie so much I actually watched it with both Nicholson and Keaton doing commentary. I’m a sap sometimes.

  251. myiq – your list looks like my husband’s faves. Except for O’Brother (that one is on my list!) Andy Steven Seagall movies in there?

  252. oops….that should be ANY not andy.

  253. Speaking of John Cusak, what about The Sure Thing? I love that movie.

  254. Devil’s Advocate
    Parenthood
    My Blue Heaven
    Remember the Spartans

  255. anyone that likes My Blue Heaven is okay with me. Oh man, my daughter and I quote the dialogue from that movie all the time…

    When I say I’m wichoo, I’m wichoo!

  256. No Steven Seagal – violence in movies is okay but should be secondary to a good plot.

    The same with special effects.

  257. bb – how gorgeous was Lauren Bacall? Those two (Bogie & Bacall) were the perfect match.

  258. The Sure Thing. Not sure that I’ve seen it. What’s it about? I adore John Cusak though.

  259. bluelyon:

    I love it when Todd/Vinnie is mowing the lawn in his suit.

  260. Agree myiq. Have you seen The Onion Movie? It spoofs Seagal, using Seagal. It’s perfect!

  261. myiq – I love the grocery store. “What’s arugula?” “It’s a veg-e-ta-bul.”

  262. Risky Business
    Kingpin
    Something About Mary
    L.A. Story

  263. bluelyon — The Sure Thing — Cusak, a virgin college freshman (at a college in the east) travels to California with Daphne Zuniga (an uptight preppy girl) to meet up with a “sure thing” (Nicolette Sheridan) — on the way, he & Daphne Zuniga’s character — ta da — fall in love.

    It is a cuter movie then it sounds.

  264. Six Degrees of Separation
    The Hustler
    The Verdict
    Slapshot
    Cool Hand Luke
    How to Marry a Millionnaire
    The Odd Couple
    The Goodbye Girl
    House Calls

  265. I can’t believe I’m the only one who put The Princess Bride on their list.

  266. Newman flicks:

    Color of Money
    Where the Money Is
    The Verdict

  267. Angie,

    I even read Lauren Bacall’s autobiography. I was stunned when I learned that Bogie had a mistress for all the years they were married.

  268. and Slap Shot

  269. Cool Hand Luke
    Adaptation
    Big Fish
    Misery

  270. Those are on my list too, myiq.

  271. I love the Hustler — far, far better then the Color of Money.

    I also love The Sting & Cool Hand Luke but my absolutely favorite Paul Newman movie is Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid — that is a movie I can watch over & over again.

  272. The Sting.

  273. angie…xpost!

  274. bb — NO! Don’t tell me that about Bogie — I refuse! refuse! to believe it. (sticking my fingers in my ears 🙂 )

  275. Hi Conflucians,
    I realize we are on to movie talk now, but I’ve just had the chance to read BB’s post and I wanted to run an idea by you all. Once 51 Percent has its website up and running – I just put a post on Potpourri about where we are with that, with another logo for people to check out – it will have a section for guest essays and research. Maybe an essay of the week or month? Written in a way that is highly readable yet full of information (see why BB’s post put me in mind of this?). And we could develop archived categories including one with “witness” accounts or testimonies about experiences people have had with violence against women. Just throwing out some thoughts…

    Now I’ll see if I can contribute anything relevant to the flick conversation.

  276. Oh…and I love

    Wait Until Dark

  277. From what I can see nobody has mentioned one of my absolute favorite movies:

    The Graduate.

    Plastics. Elaiiiinee!!! Anne Bancroft. The young Dustin Hoffman.

  278. btw — the movie I quote the most irl is Cool Hand Luke — “what we have hear is a failure to communicate”

  279. New post–movie related…

  280. angienc2, on December 20th, 2008 at 1:06 am Said:

    That quote is fabulous.

  281. btw –I’m watching “Holiday Affair” with Robert Mitchum & Janet Leigh & let me just say — Janet Leigh was built like a brick house — Jamie Lee Curtis got her great body honestly.

  282. heidi — it sure is — and so appropriate in many real life situations! LOL

    of course, I should have written “here” not “hear” LOL!

  283. Heidi Li,

    I mentioned The Graduate. I watched it twice in a row in the theatre in 1967 and went back to see it again.

  284. Come up to the new post. This thread is getting too long!

  285. Wonderfully written, and very timely.

    Perhaps Caroline Kennedy can take this issue up as a cause?

    It would be so Democratic, no?

    It would. The stats are rising because of the economy. Very sad.
    The “matrix” of disrespect was something Tipper Gore tried to address, once.

    One would think a very large public apology would be in order for what the country has just witnessed. But? Silence. I wonder why?

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