This Is How You Do It

Watch and learn, Barry, or this is what will happen:

Drinking and driving is no joke.

Tin Foil Hat Tuesday Open Thread

Why cats hate their owners

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you!

So what’s on your mind?

WHY??? is this “mimicking human behavior”

Human behavior is to hurt women and grope womens breasts?

Why didn’t he make the thingy a male?

Caroline

Your lovely head very gently let down,
For it exists to be graced by a crown,
Only a mortal walks with his head bare,
Let a crown stand between yours and the air.

Our country has no literal throne,
The senate is the most you can own,
Let patience a noblewoman befit,
Like father, in the White House you’ll sit.

Mortals have campaigns and money to raise,
You only need avuncular praise,
Too long a modest raiment you’ve worn,
Accept the dignity for which you were born.

The sun exists to illuminate you
And the moon, lest the night hide you from view
We mortals your mere servants shall be,
At your whim, waiting incessantly.

A whole human race, which from Adam once grew
Exists to give bridesmaids and butlers to you.
A bow and a curtsy we learned long ago,
Gestures we’ll need to review, and to know.

If Uncle Ted thinks it be condign
No more is needed to fulfill the design
Than that you approach with reverence the throne
In a land made just for you to own.

The mystery of this world I will solve,
Around you it was made to revolve,
New genuflections prepare to receive,
While only the cynics still disbelieve.

A faint voice begged that it be heard,
Your conscience spoke an imperious word,
“Take not the bait!” it did implore,
You were admired, and might be no more.

Not Ready To Make Nice

Some Dixie Chicks for Connie and everyone who thinks we should “get over it.”

Those three ladies from Texas took a lot of sh*t for Natalie Maines saying they didn’t want a war and that they were ashamed of  George Bush. 

Turned out they were just ahead of their time.

This is an open thread.

Tuesday: Princess Caroline- Mean Girl

Intensely private Caroline Kennedy, socialite and *part* part time volunteer for the City of New York’s Department of Education (when she can fit it into her intensely private life), has decided she has the qualifications to take the seat of the junior senator from New York, Hillary Rodham Clinton, commoner upstart.

According to Politico, Kennedy has been taking snark lessons from Al Sharpton:

Kennedy spoke with Sharpton on Monday, and he said he told her about another “lady that wanted to run for U.S. Senate [who] came to Harlem, to the House of Justice, and they told me she wasn’t qualified; they told me she was just there because of who she was married to — and that was Hillary Clinton.”

Sharpton said Kennedy chuckled.

Titter-titter! I’m not sure I get the joke.  Let’s compare the two ladies individual qualifications, shall we?

Hillary Clinton	Lady Caroline Kennedy
Former First Lady	Daughter of Former First Lady
Champion of health care reform	Champion of intensely private people
Practicing lawyer before WH gig	Non-practicing lawyer
Worked for Children’s Defense Fund	Has children
Knows how to campaign	Gave her blessing to Barack Obama
Won two elections for Senate in NY Largely self made with mentors	Eww! You have to shake hands for this job? Has a powerful uncle who will throw tantrum on her behalf
Worked tirelessly for racial equality all her life Worked for women’s rights as human rights Fundraising powerhouse for downticket dems	Content with Obama campaign’s portrayal of Clinton as a racist Cool with “Hillary Clinton only won because of Bill” Uncle Teddy has promised that NY will finally get the attention it deserves (he has been withholding)

Well, I’m convinced.

The Brightest Moon

Notwithstanding the byline, this is most definitely by someone else. This time I was more careful not to louse it up. I honor her gifts, loquacity about the gifts of others, and utter taciturnity about her own.

The Brightest Moon

Clouds dance around her
in a state of exalted grace …
wax ecstatic
just to touch her face
blushing pink; flowing
wind blown veils of celestial lace
I stood entranced for time out of time
swaying gently in moonlit space…..
She bestowed upon me
a gift for my devotion
a translucent mirror
in which to see her impression
devised to part
veils of the future
lit from below and above
rivers of moonlight flowed between
divining the eternal twining
seeds of conception
the threads of life
woven on her loom of fates
a reflected vision
of her celestial self
a token of her love

— Swanspirit