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Drunken Rant Open Thread

“George Bush is an a**hole and a c**t”"

“George Bush is an a**hole and a c**t”

MODERATION RULES FOR THIS THREAD ONLY:

1.  Six drink minimum

2.  Profanity required

3.  No insulting or attacking other commenters (unless they are trolls)

4.  No racist or sexist comments (small penis jokes okay)

5.  myiq2xu is sole judge, jury and moderator

6.  Thread closes in two (2) hours or when the moderator passes out

Go for it!

Where's my f**king cheeseburger?

Where's my f**king cheeseburger?

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273 Responses

  1. Fuck, I haven’t started drinking yet! (It’s only 2 in the afternoon here, mate. Can I use that as an excuse?)

  2. I love the last.

    Now, what is the rule–six drinks to start? already on numero three….

  3. goody! scrubs!

  4. “Goody” doesn’t count as profanity does it? Christ, what was I thinking?

  5. I think some other rude mother here needs to start another joke theme. Otherwise, we may be stuck with me again.

  6. (downing shots…hard to be first a party..)

  7. Hey joanie!

    I have to say something about the other thread where the discussion is about what happened to Lynette Long: FUCKERS!

    (That still doesn’t do it, though. May need to start drinking earlier. Is that okay on Sundays?)

  8. joanie – I liked your last joke theme.

  9. I don’t drink. Does that mean I can’t play?

  10. I fucking thought that picture of Hasselhoff was Don Henley, and I thought, what the fuck are you doing with a drunken picture of Don Henley?

    So the National Organization of Women think it would be “nice” to have more women in the Obama administration.

    I hereby recommend that they be renamed to the National Organization of Doormats. Anybody wanna second the motion?

  11. Yes, scrubs, I think it is! What are you drinking anyway?

  12. BB, it’s ain’t a party without you!

  13. I mean, I don’t fucking well drink. Tough toenails! I’m not leaving!

  14. Fuck NOW!

    What a betrayal.

  15. Myiq–that wasn’t a command–easy now….

  16. It lines my kitty litter box.

  17. “National Organization of Doormats”

    I second that motion!

    I have to go to the store but will Fucking drink me some wine when I get back! (You guys are going to be SOOOOOOO ahead of me, damnit.)

  18. where is myiq? I thought a good host always entertains the geeky early guests so that they don’t feel awkward. before the party is in full swing.

  19. Boomer — I picked up an interesting wine at the local winery – -it was made from Peaches and was simply delightful…

    Can I interest you in a glass?

  20. brb

  21. we need angie to get this party started.

  22. SOD, I have to agree with your comment on the last thread. I think we need to hold the laundry list of all the people Murphy cited responsiible, but I am not going to let women who abuse other women off the hook. No way.

    We are NOT victims.
    We fucking make choices. It is my choice to demonstate sisterhood, goddamn it, and other women could too–if they chose to!

  23. BB, if you’re up here — I’m serious. Would you join me on the Common for some miq2xu-style misbehavin?

  24. SOD, I take exception to that. What am I, chopped liver?

  25. murphy,
    are you really going to stage a public stoning?

  26. joanie — I’m so sick and tired of watching other women trash Hillary and Sarah Palin for gender related bias reasons.

  27. Joanie – you and I can’t carry this party all our selves can we?? We need reinforcements!!

  28. SOD,

    Thanks, but I’m in recovery. I had more than enough alcohol before I quit though–enough to last two lifetimes.

  29. I was trying to find some Obama jokes, but I couldn’t find anything that was actually funny or not praising him.

  30. You must be joking…really???

  31. I’m not drinking…I’m high on rage. I cannot believe what happened to Lynette Long and her friends.

  32. BOOMER — bwwwaaaahahahahahah!

  33. joaniebone, a-yup.

    we have to wake people up somehow.

  34. there isnt enough fucking alcohol in the world for one woman to survive ONE lifetime.

    (but sincere congratulations to you BB for your sobriety. it is an AWESOME challenge.)

  35. I have to say that I have personally been brutalized- in the past and NOW for daring to be smart , ambitious, attractive -at the same time. and let me tell you, the brutality is from other women.

    I could not help but take what Sarah Palin went through very personally.

    People assume you are stupid. It is your job to prove you are not. Life is a fucking set-up.

  36. murphy,

    I am very worried that people will actually line up to stone you, and I am serious.

  37. People just can’t believe it.

  38. On SNL, they’re lambasting Biden for being a total gaffe-meister and idiot.

    Works for me!

  39. Joaniebone, yes true. definitely. But, women who hate/hurt/demonize other women are like the Kapos in concentration camps.

    very tragic figures. cowardly, compromised, and complicit, YES.

    but who was REALLY to blame?

    not the Kapos. The NAZIS.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kapo_(concentration_camp)

  40. madamab — I thought they did satire on SNL; when did they change over to being a reality show 😉

  41. “She’s as dumb as a rock.”

    They really need to believe that or they feel so completely, utterly helpless and inferior.

  42. Murphy – I agree. Stay safe. We can protest in other ways.

  43. I’m in the spam filter. Help!

  44. SOD,

    Good for you! I’m still not on good terms with my sister since she ranted about Sarah Palin to me.

  45. ok joanie — your turn!

  46. SOD – yes, it was too realistic to be funny. 😉

  47. There was a really sad troll in there with you Murphy. He was really embarrassed about the size of his pee pee. Poor thing.

  48. How about posting stupid quotes from Obama? Here’s one:

    “I am like a Rorschach test,” he said in an interview with The New York Times. “Even if people find me disappointing ultimately, they might gain something.”

    Can someone explain what the fuck that means?

  49. dont be silly, i was talking about a mock stoning — it WOULD be a fascinating sociological study though.

  50. Forgive me for quoting anything associated with Oprah and Whoopi, but I love this! It’s dedicated to NObama and his rac*st, misogynist, lying, cheatin’, stealin’, koolaid drinkin’, dirtbag obots….

    “I curse you. Until you do right by me everything you think about is gonna crumble!
    Until you do right by me, everything you even think about gonna fail.” – Miss Celie, The Color Purple

  51. P.S. – I’ve had several glasses of Chilean Chardonnay.

  52. BB – the only thing ordinary people wil gain from supporting Obama is a Kool- aid hangover the size of Canada.

  53. Re: boomer’s BO quote:

    that fucker is in way over his head.

  54. He sees dead people…and he doesn’t even know they’re really alive.

  55. BB, it means…..he’s an inkblot, I guess

  56. unbroken line of fallen heroes?

    wtf??

  57. Lakota – great quote and EXCELLENT movie!

  58. Kiki,

    I just wish I could *blot* him out of my mind.

  59. murphy,

    I could debate that point with you, and I’m not sure it is the time to do it.

    What i am talking about is not blaming women, but challenging then to be responsible for the choices they make tand they consequences.

    I spent years in therapy to get away from a serious abuser, and my brilliant gay feminist shrink would never let me blame anyone else for where I was.

    It is a choice people make to participate in ugliness, and unless they are truly mentally ill, then their souls know it.

  60. Lakota,

    That’s is a perfect quote. And how ironic that Whoopie and Oprah are Obama codependents.

  61. pardon my miserable typing made worse by FOUR scotches

  62. I think people would take a “mock” stoning as an invitation. Again, I am serious. Seriously worried about our world right now.

  63. Can I just say that SNL is not funny? No wonder no one watches it unless Tina Fey is on.

    Time to go now…have a great night, everyone!

  64. I think our first order of business is to grab these women that support the current patriarchal system with their subtle subserviency educate them.

  65. Obama in Minneapolis pretending to already be the Democratic nominee:

    “… this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal…”

  66. Good night, madamab.

  67. I wonder if it’s blot or blight

  68. joaniebone — absolutely, I agree 100% — challenging, educating, inspiring, terrifying, nudging, persuading.. ALL of those things. Since we have the knowledge of what’s REALLY going on — gained through the kind of painful and scary experience you yourself endured, it is our DUTY to help other women in just the ways you described.

    I only object to the “blaming” — and that may just be me being semantical.

    OOPS! no fucking swears in the previous god damn paragraph,

    i’ve only had 2 fucking drinks. what the fuck is wrong with me!?!

  69. Murphy,

    He sees dead people in the audience. Zombies?

  70. geez, that’s Paul Rudd on SNL? I thought it was Ben Affleck

  71. Kiki,

    Obama is definitely a blight on my life.

  72. Murphy,

    Years ago I was in a consciousness raising group. Remember those? It was great!

  73. Is Angie going to show up or is she out for the whole day and night?

  74. Hell-OH OH Howard Dean (pouring drink over his head) I have had it with this shit, no more Ms. NICE GUY

  75. In the spirit of camaraderie, I will offer a rant, albeit not a drunken one because I’m drinking the soft stuff these days:

    Howard Dean – a complete putz.
    Bill Richardson – can you say schmuck?
    John Kerry – a major nochschlepper
    John Edwards – groisser gornicht.
    The DNC – a pile of drek.

    Good night folks.

  76. In a new afterword to his memoir, 1960s radical William Ayers describes himself as a “family friend” of President-elect Barack Obama.

    –Chicago Tribune

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/politics/obama/chi-bill-ayers-barack-obama-book,0,1806710.story

  77. Shit, I picked the wrong week to stop drinking.

  78. Very nice, Heidi Li. You’re in good form tonight! Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite.

  79. It’s so good to have people here to talk to.

  80. State of Disbelief, I think we should make a T-Shirt that say’s “Obama is a SEXIST PRICK”

  81. I picked the wrong week to come out of my coma.

  82. Okay, I’m back!

    Got my wine, chugging first glass (Ick) in order to catch up!

    The thread looks very fucking serious so far. Guess that’s the mood tonight, eh?

    No pee pee jokes?

  83. You start, scrubs. Where did Joaniebone go? This isn’t much of a drunken rant thread, is it? I guess myiq slid under the table.

  84. deadgirl — no matter how appropriate, I’m sure that t-shirt would not go over well.

  85. Ummm, what is a nochschlepper?

  86. Murphy, I am definately not talking about blaming, especially because it is pointless.

    But I do take accountability seriously and I will definately hold women haters of all genders accountable.

    And I am angry in the way people tend to be when they are betrayed, angry at other women that have demonstrated viciousness (just the right word) to me and other women.

    We can start our movement more easily by joining with the huge amounts of women that already love other women. We can create a large home for any newcomers that have searched their souls.

    we will not bring over all the women, but we can try.

  87. Obama’s pee pee is so small, Michelle is STILL wondering how she got pregnant!

    🙂

  88. It will soon be waffle time!

  89. Here is another T-Shirt idea…. “N.O.W. where are those C*NT5 when you need them???”

  90. scrubs

    what is a nochschlepper?

    Someone who schlepps nochs???

  91. yo pee pee is so small, you used it in a pinch to sew a button.

  92. deadgirl — Now that one’s got a lot of potential.

  93. LOL SOD!!! Turd in a punch bowl!!! CLASSIC!!! LMAO!!!

  94. Just got friended by one of my oldest friends on Facebook. Turns out she chug-a-lugged the kool-aid. She is ecstatic that Obama won and quotes Krugman that if you aren’t thrilled to death there’s something wrong with you. OK. Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

    What happened to Lynette Long and friends is completely unbelievable. Why aren’t DC women protesting this restaurant?

  95. Nochschlepper = a hanger-on who nobody wants around.

    And good for real folks.

  96. yo pee pee is so small, you have to call women c*nts.

  97. Oops – meant good night for real.

  98. bostonboomer, nowhere does myiq state those drinks have to be booze. Care to knock back some hardcore Perrier with me?

  99. His pee pee is so small and immature, he still wears diapers.

    (Barack still wondering how he got her pregnant, too. And twice, to boot.)

  100. yo pee pee is so small, your dentist grabbed it instead of the floss.

  101. Apparently a noch schlepper is a lawyer who doesn’t work very hard but “drags along” to meetings and hearings just taking up a chair.

    http://books.google.com/books?id=z-QDf8LlQaAC&pg=PA75&lpg=PA75&dq=noch+schlepper+definition&source=web&ots=Cbuw9mH2ej&sig=Y9KOaIJSIBlame-rYrQsZI2osd0&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=2&ct=result

  102. Whadda guy!

  103. ugsome,

    I think I’ll dig up something with caffeine in it. That’s my drug of choice.

  104. Heh, heh, so a nochschlepper is sort of like a booger!?

  105. Heidi Li, is a NOCHSCHLEPPER like a DINGLEBERRY???

  106. Howard Dean’s pee pee is so tiny that his wife refused to accompany him on the campaign trail. His pee pee is so sad and pathetic that he lives in fear that Hillary Clinton will find out about it and tell Bill.

  107. yo pee- pee is so small, your sperm thought they’d find better digs in a chapstick.

  108. Half a bottle of Spanish rioza. Need a god fuck. :-O)
    Wife asleep already. Can I hang out with you all women?

    Is talk about Hillary’s SOS offer Ot tonight? I have a new – at leat different – perspective on this.

  109. Yeah, bb, you are going to NEED caffeine for this thread!

    Where’s Mikey? (myiq)

  110. bostonboomer, make a full pot of coffee, please. Clearly a woman after my own heart.

  111. Joaniebone,

    That one is so strange that it almost approaches the level of one of Pat’s comments.

  112. You need to clean it with a q-tip

  113. yo pee pee so small hookers give you a discount

  114. His pee pee is so small, they called him a girl at birth! (No offense to any of us chicks.)

  115. ecoast — Rules are rules!

  116. yo pee pee so small it’s a spaghetti serving for one.

  117. Yo pee pee is so small you can’t hit the toilet when you pee standing up.

  118. Yo pee pee so small, the Guiness Book calls it the world’s largest clit.

  119. EXCE-FUCKING-LLENT, mates!

  120. It looks like a skin tag to me.

  121. yo pee pee so small you use finger cots for condoms

  122. yo pee pee so small I need a microscope to give you a blow job

  123. your pee pee is so small, I found it in a can of vienna sausages.

  124. Who mentioned that?

  125. My little FINGER is bigger than yo pee pee!

  126. yo pee pee so small, I served it with beans.

  127. The long, long schlong gimbeled and jived. Far and wide It dithered. I searched back it’s dank and slippery snail trail. What a sad sad state to find it so, attached to nothing but slate.

  128. Okay, I’m starting glass number 3. Hard to catch up with you all.

  129. now this is the spirit!

  130. yo pee pee so small they make test tube babies with it

  131. How many obots will have rotting teeth from all the sugar in the kool-aid?
    Just think of the fun that could be had with a denist drill.

    don’t get mad get even

    WOMEN, MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM AND COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY ALWAYS

    PUMAS,BUBBAS, AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE

  132. My sides hurt!! LOL

  133. roofingbird–I read that in Viagra spam once.

  134. My hubby says hi!

  135. yo pee pee so small it wears elevator shoes.

  136. His pee pee is so small, even a jackhammer can’t get it up!

  137. Yo pee pee so small, it’s labeled ‘NOT ACTUAL SERVING SIZE’

  138. Oh shit, I never saw the single file sperm one! That’s excellent! Who came up with it? Cheers to whoever it was.

  139. scrubs — h/t to my hubby on that one.

  140. Yo pee pee so small, they sell it in the toy dept.

  141. yo pee pee so small, they had a funeral for it, thinking it died or something.

  142. After measuring exactly how much wine fits my big wine goblets (Reidels giving to me last Xmas), I realized that I was fueled on too much alcohol during late night blog reading during the stressful Hillary primaries and the fraudulent convention. I’m now rationing myself to 2-1/2 glasses (where a glass = 5 oz.) per week. That is the least amount that seems to work towards preventing strokes in people. Less doesn’t do it. Not that anyone I know of in my family has ever had a stroke, and I’m not in the age range.

    Ah, Palin!

    I’ve come up to a response when someone trashes Palin. I say that I myself recognize that I will never match her accomplishments–I will never be a state governor or a mother of 5. That seems to shut them up because then they seem to be belittling me, and frankly, maybe they are looking at where they stand, too.

    I don’t add the following:

    I was a mediocre basketball player on a losing team. Palin took her team to state. I would never be allowed in a beauty pageant, but this mother of five at 44 is stunning!

    Left the Party!

    Oh, I should celebrate, but all I have left of my alcohol quota is 1/2 glass, which I polished off with dinner. I smiled after I mailed my voter registration form yesterday afternoon. I’m no longer a Democrat, but rather “Decline to State.” I was asked to mention my previous party.

    There was no space to add that I was once a Teen Democrat, a page in the state legislature, a Young Dem in college…and my earliest memories are of being involved in campaigns–since about age 4.

    Bye-bye corrupt party of Obama, Pelosi, Dean, and Brazile, funded by Soros.

  143. Smaller than Ken doll’s??

  144. Yo pee-pee is so small you can use a bandaid for underwear

  145. My little toe is bigger than you pee pee.

  146. The nurses went to catheterize Obama’s pee pee and exclaimed, “WTF? Where IS it?”

  147. Even talking Barbie said “is that all there is?”

  148. Sorry, I’m hosting a kegger too.

    Grandpa got paroled!

    (Mom decided to throw the fucking party at my place.)

  149. Ugsome, you are SOOOOO funny!

  150. CB,

    Congratulations, and thanks for the tip on responding to Palin haters.

  151. Oh, THERE you are!

    Grandpa got fucking paroled! Yeah, hand me another drink!

    Loving these pee pee jokes. Put that damn smile RIGHT back on my face.

  152. “Hung like a hamster”

  153. You guys are making me giggle like a loon.

  154. that small???? lol!

  155. What was Grandpa in jail for?

  156. yo pee-pee is so small, when you grab it to masterbate , they think you’re throwing a punch.

  157. My mother says I better change “my thoughts” on Barrack Obama, because “everyone thinks it’s wonderful” that he won. She was real threatening to me! FUCK! Could my own mother want to have me rewired because I don’t agree with the Obama hype and turn me in to the “thought” police? Damn! Now I know my own mother will be part of the Civilian Terrorist Force at 79! Will I have to go before the Truth Committee? And I thought I was gonna get a job as a maid in the White House! Dang! Had the costume and everything!

  158. pointing and laughing must be a regular occurrence for you

  159. yo pee-pee is so small, the hampsters are throwing their panties

  160. yo pee-pee is so small, your girlfriend prefers a cocktail pick.

  161. Crazed, they ran amongst the tiny weenies, little worms of barking terror. Searching frantically, they spied! The sea, the sea! They swam away and left the weenies to the fishes!

  162. PFFfttttt!

  163. ??

  164. Three words a man never wants to hear during sex:

    “Is it in?”

  165. SOd – okay.

    Read all the arguments pro and con for Hill to take/reject SOS offer – all the slice and dice here and a NQ. Hill should take SOS. Here is why.

    1. If we all can come up with these dozens of reasons pro and con with our limited facts published in MSM, imagine what kind of info Hill and Bill have on this now.
    They have all the info, all the pros and cons – so they know whqt they ae doing. And we all agree Hill is much smarter than Bill.

    2. Don’t worry about being fired in 6 months and she won’t have anything then. The tenure for these positions is generally 2 years. She is okay until 2010 elections. Even then what fucking reason will O find to fire Hill? We all know she will be an outstanding SOS, at the level of George Marshall. So what are we afraid of?

    3. remember O’s palae guards are now clinton people – Rahm, podesta. They will protect her.

    4. For obama to fire Hill, he needs an opposing agenda or point of view. Where will he get it?
    Most probably national sec adviser will also be a clinton person.

    5. Yes, we have to worry abt that oiiy slithering snake axelrod. I think in the first 6 monhs the whitehouse battle is going to be between Rahm E and Axelrod.
    Who do u think is going to win that battle? WH is not chicago campaing office. Axelrod will be nobody in DC.

    6. Imagine this. Suppose Hill solves isaral-lalestinian pro in the first two years. Will be a candidiate for Noel in third year. Who can touch her then?

    I will stop here. Let me throw in a couple of fucks, p*ssy,, to qualify myself in this post. Off to get another glass of Rioza.

  166. and what are you planning to do with that?”

  167. yo pee-pee is so small, blow-up dolls head for the door.

  168. Laughter is great medicine.

  169. from last night:

    “yo pee-pee is so small, the sheep said, “are you in yet”?”

  170. Joanie!!!! LOLOLOL

  171. LynneE,

    LOL! Wait till your mom finds out that Obama hates old people, especially old women. Does she know his top economic advisors want to privatize social security?

  172. yo pee pee is so small, you learned to use your tongue!

    🙂

  173. let me try that again…

  174. SOD,

    You are a real fucking creative woman!

  175. From Long Kiss Goodnight with Samuel L. Jackson and Geena Davis:

    Mitch Henessey: [singing] Putting the keys in my left pocket. Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. Gun in the right-hand side.

    Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge, people can see.

    Mitch Henessey: Ya want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off?

    Samantha Caine: Now you’re a sharpshooter?

  176. I hope this thread gets balanced out with one about alcoholism that causes so much tragedy in people’s lives.

    And I hope the women’s movement is not all about humiliating people over appearance of genitals.

  177. yo pee pee is so small your girlfriend gets the bulk discount at “adult ToysRus”

  178. yo pee-pee is so small, nicole ritchie’s thongs fit like grocery sacks.

  179. I love that movie!!!

  180. SOD and joanie – you guys are making me CRY!

    ecoast – it just isn’t the same with the p*ssy jokes. We are sort of insulting BO (I think – can’t remember the origin – that was 24 hours and one call night ago.)

  181. Only pee pee jokes allowed ecoast.

  182. you pee pee so small it turned down Secretary of State in Obama’s administration

  183. He is pitiful

  184. Aw. nijma, don’t kill the buzz man. We do this rarely and it is a safe way, safe place to let loose with some of our frustration.

  185. Nijima,

    This is just a blowing off steam thread. It’s time-limited.

  186. Thanks Nijma. I needed to be reminded by you to be socially responsible and sensitive. Otherwise, it would never have occured to me.

  187. yo pee pee so small you drive a Hummer

  188. Scrubs this was started and is dedicated to the guy in the picture wearing the “Sarah Palin is a C*nt” t-shirt. He looked like he had a camel toe

  189. yo pee pee so small, people think your bulge is a bug bite

  190. anyone who wears that should be ashamed

  191. SOD,

    When the history of The Confluence is written, you can be the fact-checker. What a memory!!

  192. yo pee pee is so small, your wife tried to change your diaper instead of the baby’s.

  193. That is hilarious!!!

  194. ugsome! LOL!

  195. yo pee-pee is so small, your balls are feeling lonely.

  196. yo pee pee so small, you use your wedding ring for a cock ring

  197. boomer! LOL — my memory is selectively good. Sometimes I don’t even remember where I’m going!

  198. ecoast,

    Watch it, or we’ll make jokes about you. Myiq is a straight man and he makes pee pee jokes:

    “hung like a hamster.”

  199. yo pee pee so small, you can have nasal sex

  200. His pee pee so small, even the mouse walked away in boredom!

  201. I fucking hope nobody drops by on “Tinfoil Hat Tuesday” to tell us that there is nothing funny about paranoia and other mental illness.

  202. Hi Katiebird

    (waving)

  203. yo pee-pee is so small, you’re still at the urinal trying to find what to shake.

  204. yo pee pee so small, you wear a thimble instead of a jockstrap

  205. We’ve been waiting for hours

  206. “I wonder why?” she thought, when she saw the cleft in it’s eye. Little did she know that a barnacle was the source of evil.

  207. Hi sis,

    don’t mind me!

  208. Obama can do whatever the hell he wants, for any reason or no reason. He doesn’t need a reason to fire her. Rahm hates her, and the Clintons basically have no loyalists, look at everyone who’s stabbed them in teh back, chief among them Kennedy. The normal rules don’t apply to them. And i’s not that he’ll fire her, it’s that she’ll be the scapegoat for every f*&^ up of his administration. Who would ever want to be Colin Powell to Obama’s W’s? Not even Colin Powell relished that role, and he’d already spent a lifetime bowing and scraping and covering up and weaseling for a$$hats. But even he got sick of it eventually.

  209. Hey KB! Grab a drink and join in! We have limited time.

  210. It’s so small your prison roommate asked for a reassignment

  211. ugsome: from last night-

    yo pee-pee is so small, you use a shot glass for an athletic cup.

  212. yo pee pee so small, girls squint when you flash them.

  213. The two hours are almost up. Who’s putting up a new thread?

  214. I’ll take that personally!

  215. SOD! OUCH!

  216. joanie — which one “Ouched” you?

  217. SOD! Wine just went up my nose!

  218. Yeah, I understand it’s not serious, but I’m still uncomfortable with any kind of humor that depends on humiliation,even if the male critter being insulted is purely hypothetical.

  219. A guy in a bar comes up yo a woman and says “Hey baby, how would you like nine inches tonight?

    She looks him up and down and says “I don’t think you could get it up three times in a row.

  220. Nijma — come back in 10 minutes for the new thread.

  221. MYIQ! LOL.

  222. yo pee pee so small, this wouldn’t work for you:

  223. sod,

    the prison reassignment

  224. Your urologist asked “and you’re here for….???”

  225. and I meant that it was FUNNY!

  226. yo pee pee so small, a medicine dropper is your penis pump.

  227. Besides which, I’m rather fond of the aforementioned appendage.

    Is nothing sacred?

  228. Nijma — I am too….just indulged this evening. But the Obot prick’s prick is fair game.

  229. yo pee pee so small, you use a pine needle as a fig leaf.

  230. yo pee-pee is so small, john bobbit upstaged you in the sauna

  231. Why was John Wayne Bobbitt kicked out of the Marines?

    Unauthorized separation from his unit.

  232. ugsome, you have a special talent for this–it couldn’t be personal experience, could it?

  233. 😯

  234. joaniebone: no, I am just a cunning linguist, that’s all

  235. myiq2xu — lol!

  236. This thread is loading so slow for me–and that never happens for me on this site, even when AngieNC is having trouble with it.. Maybe I should break down and let the new Firefox upgrade install.

  237. SOD – you are the pee pee champion. Where do you get all these oneliners?

  238. yo pee pee so small, it was on cuteoverload.com

  239. yo pee-pee is so small, you prefer to fuck a pore.

  240. Nijima,

    There are several serious posts on the blog you can read instead. Live and let live.

  241. LOL!!

  242. I’m just making them up as I go along…

  243. Firefox is slower for me.

  244. My son just asked me why I keep laughing at the computer.

    Better not tell him.

    You guys are so ON!

    And Nijma, if you’ve been around here much, you know that we are quite serious most of the time and are also incredibly sensitive to the issues you speak of. We just HAVE to vent in safe company sometimes.

  245. on third glass of rioza

  246. To satisfy ecoast:

    A guy tells his wife he wants a divorce. When she asks why, he says he wants some new p***y.

    She says “If you had three more inches you’d have some new p***y right here!”

  247. yo pee-pee is so small, your erections are getting therapy for self-esteem

  248. ok…I’m beat…gotta go to sleep. it’s 1am here in EST

  249. yo pee pee so small it’s getting growth hormone treatments

  250. goodnight SOD. you are brilliant! I’m going to compile these. There are some good ones!

  251. Aw, shit, myiq. That was pretty good.

    NO, SOD, don’t goooooooo!

    Okay, if you have to. Great jokes tonight, btw. Sweet dreams.

  252. yo pee pee so small it doubles as a Bluetooth headpiece

  253. Safe company? This is quite public.

    But maybe i’ts time to get myself a drink.

  254. Yeah, joanie – a pee pee compilation! Woohoooooo!

    Maybe we can make money that we can then donate to our favorite new feminist movement, say something Lynette Long believes in.

  255. yo pee pee so small C*lin P*well put it in a vial and showed it to the UN

  256. someone pass Nijma the Xanax bottle

  257. public, yes, but also safe. The mods won’t let anyone trash us.

    If the Feds and secret service and msm want to come quote us, they can – all it does is give us a platform to air our griefs. As a consequence, they won’t.

  258. I found a clown thing today and thought of myiq, let me look for it.

  259. yo pee pee so small it has its own show on MSNBC

  260. ugsome – I wonder what Colin called it. A biological menace?

  261. Ugsome, that C0lin P0well thing finally got to me and I’m ROTFLMAO!

  262. YAY! We made Nijma laugh!

  263. See, it feels good, doesn’t it, Nijma?

    We promise we’ll go back to serious at some point.

  264. yo pee pee so small it’s the worm in the tequila bottle

  265. yo pee pee so small you don’t get laid, you get mislaid

  266. New thread up for anyone tired of small pee pees

  267. yo pee pee so small the mod’s name is mypp2xu

  268. I hope myiq is still smart enough to read this. When I saw it, I thought of him immediately. Here’s the setup.

    The link to this was posted on a linguistics blog (I’m a teacher so you see I can’t get too naughty, even anonmousley). It’s based on Spanish slang where the phrase Hazte para allá ” move over there” [pa’llá (contraction of para allá, over there) => payaso] becomes ¡Hazte payaso! (lit. Become a clown!): Move over!

    There’s even a nice picture of a clown with the Virgin of Guadalupe.

    http://swearindf.blogspot.com/2008/04/johny-miguel-tiburcio.html

  269. My God! After reading this thread I’m…intimidated! 😮

    And it doesn’t help that it’s cold here tonight and I have :

    SHRINKAGE!!!!!! 😯

    I haven’t started drinking yet either!!

  270. Wow, all this time I thought when my favorite ex-girlfriend called me a “payaso” I thought it meant “sweetheart”

    Next you’ll tell me that “chingate” doesn’t mean “you’re the best.”

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