Not even an ounce of a post-convention “bounce” – does that qualify as a post-bounce?

Conflucians: What was Obama thinking when this photo was taken? Give us your take in the comments section. (Photo from STJ memorial service)

 

Good Golly Post-Electable Post-Bounces!  David Axelrod and anatomically sensitive Obots will have an OMFG-meltdown once they read this headline from Politico’s David Paul Kuhn: 

Obama’s bounce smaller than others

Barack Obama’s post-Democratic National Convention bounce in the polls appears to be slightly smaller than the norm of past conventions, and it’s gradually depreciating.

Oooh, nuanced SHRINKAGE!  (h/t MadamaB)

Obama’s 3-point bounce exceeds that of John F. Kerry, the Democratic presidential nominee in 2004 who did not rise in the polls following his convention. But Obama’s bounce is less than a third of what Al Gore received in 2000 and Bill Clinton received in 1992. Even Bob Dole, following the 1996 Republican convention, received a 4-point bounce in the polls, 1 point more than Obama.

BOB DOLE?  You mean Mr. Spokesperson for that “blue pill,” gasp!  “Shrinkage” + “Bob Dole”  mention in the same article = Eugene Robinson and Bob Herbert “phallic symbolism” conniption in 5,4,3,2… – well in the meantime while ‘Gene and Bob have their post-electable post-bounce post-growth meltdown, let’s keep reading: 

But any Obama bounce, if it is sustained, could be said to be a victory for Democrats. In the days since Obama gave his address, the news cycles have been captured by the unveiling of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as John McCain’s running mate, the opening of the Republican convention and the threat posed by Hurricane Gustav.

Isn’t a “sustained bounce” against the laws of physics?  Of course Politico’s not implying that Obama’s post-electable post-bounce is flopping in the wind.  The article does say that “any Obama bounce, if it is sustained, could be said to be a victory.”   If it’s SUSTAINED?  Not even the Magic Blue Pill can help the Post-Electable Democrats.  Back to the trounced “bounce”:

A CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll and a Zogby Interactive flash poll, both completed over the weekend, have found the presidential race is in a dead heat. According to both polls, Obama attained no statistically significant convention bounce.

Et tu, Zogby and Brazile-supporting CNN?   Not even a eensy-weensy statistically significant convention bounce?  Not even a “sustained” bounce?   Not even after the most best-est historical-est speech in the galaxy? 

I’m post-surprised.