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Obama’s VP Selection: A Play in One Desperate Act.

The Democratic Convention Stage

The Democratic Convention Stage

THE SCENE: A conference room in Barack Obama’s campaign headquarters. Giant photos of The One and all of his various symbols (the Possum seal, the circular hands, the “Buy American“) are plastered all over the walls. The color scheme is aqua, magenta and off-white – the colors of Barackracy(TM)!.

Seated around the black granite table are BILL BURTON, DONNA BRAZILE, MICHELLE OBAMA  and DAVID AXELROD, Obama’s (real) VP selection team. The action takes place over several months, but has been distilled into one short span of time for dramatic effect.

BURTON: Well, Mr. President, let’s get to it. We’ve got a great list of options for you – all the Democratic bigwigs are just DYING to jump on the Obama Train!

OBAMA: Great, great. List ’em all for me one more time, Bill?

BURTON: With pleasure! I’ve got ’em separated into groups for you – you know, to sort of highlight what they’d give to your administration.

Okay, first up, we’ve got Democratic Governor VP’s.

OBAMA: Yeah, um – what would they give me again?

AXELROD (patiently): Executive experience, Mr. President.

OBAMA: Oh, right, right. Funny – I can’t believe my community organizing credentials aren’t enough for these people. I mean, what do they need from me, assurances that I’ve held a full-time job or something? Anyway, let’s hear it.

BURTON: Okay, here we go: Ted Strickland, Ed Rendell, Tim Kaine, and Kathleen Sebelius. Which one do you prefer, Mr. President?

OBAMA: Let’s see. Strickland. No, Rendell. No, Kaine. No, Sebelius. Dammit! I just can’t pick. Text ’em all and see what they say! (A slight pause, while AXELROD, BURTON and BRAZILE all type on their iPhones.) 

BRAZILE: Crap. Ted said no.

OBAMA: Really no, or Joe Biden no?

BRAZILE: Really, REALLY no. Here’s what Ted said (reading aloud): “Absolutely not. If drafted I will not run, nominated I will not accept and if elected I will not serve. So, I don’t know how more crystal clear I can be.”

MICHELLE: Ouch! That’s okay, honey. He was a Clintonite anyway. You’d probably have to hire a food-taster. (all laugh)

AXELROD: Yeah, I’ve got basically the same story from Rendell. He really wants you to pick Hillary.

OBAMA: As if! My supporters already think she is Satan. Can you imagine what they’d say?

BURTON: Hate to be on the receiving end of THAT blowback! Man, those guys are vicious. Anywho, good news! Sibelius is willing and available.

AXELROD: Uh, Mr. President? I’m getting some not-too-encouraging feedback on her. Apparently, she bored everyone to tears after Bush’s SOTU address.

OBAMA: Ah, well, so much for that. We need someone who is as dynamic a speaker as I am!

MICHELLE: Well, not QUITE as dynamic, Mr. President. (everyone laughs) What about Kaine?

AXELROD: Unfortunately, he’s a little too unpopular in Virginia to help you there. Another dead end.

OBAMA: Okay, fine. Who else have you got, Bill?

BURTON: Next up – the Post-Partisan VP’s!

OBAMA: Oh, these are my favorites!

BURTON: Mine too, Mr. President! OK, here we go: Chuck Hagel, Sam Nunn and Tom Daschle.

OBAMA: Oooh, wow. They’re all such great guys and sooooo Republican-friendly! Plus, Chuck Hagel has that whole anti-war thing going on. Hey, Donna, what do you think about this?

BRAZILE: Well, Barack, I just don’t like any of these choices. They are totally Old Washington. And Chuck Hagel? Are you serious? You know how your supporters would freak if you chose a Republican, even one they kind of like.

MICHELLE: Yeah, honey, I agree with Donna. Hagel’s out.

BURTON: What about Hillary’s supporters? Do you think they’d go for a more moderate VP choice like Daschle or Nunn?

(Blank, shocked stares all around.)

BRAZILE: Bill – you don’t think we need those crazy white Republicans, do you? Hell, I already told them to stay home. They ain’t voting for the President anyway.

AXELROD: Yeah, Bill. Get with the program. Clinton bad. Clinton voters bad. PUMA bad. Got it?

BURTON (intimidated): Yessir, Dave. Won’t happen again. Ready for your next group, Mr. President? It’s the Foreign Policy VP’s!

OBAMA (interrupting): Waitaminute, waitaminute. Everyone knows I’m stronger on foreign policy than McCain or Clinton! I mean, all those years I spent abroad

AXELROD: Mr. President, to be honest, that wasn’t your finest moment. The whole Georgia/Russia/Poland thing is taking its toll on your National Security numbers, too.

OBAMA: But-but-but – I was so Presidential in my windbreaker!

MICHELLE (soothingly): Now, honey, I don’t think it would be too hard to fix. All we’ve gotta do is pick someone seasoned and experienced.

BURTON (excited): Ooh! What about Wes Clark? He would be perfect. Your supporters love him and he is absolutely unassailable on the whole National Security thing!

BRAZILE (scornfully): Damn, Bill, try to keep up. He’s under the bus now! Remember, he attacked McCain on his national security creds? He’s not even coming to the Obama For America Convention. 

BURTON (embarrassed): Oh. I’ll add him to my “OTB” list. I guess I’ll have to buy some more memory for my iMac! Anyway, our other candidates are, um….well, gosh, there’s only one name left.

(ALL TOGETHER): Joe Biden!

OBAMA: Well, damn. I guess there’s no one left to ask. If only he didn’t have such a big mouth…Oh well. Go ahead and ask him.

AXELROD: Already done, Mr. President. He’s ready to serve! When shall I text your followers?

MICHELLE: How about 3 a.m.? (everyone laughs)

BURTON: Great idea, Michelle. Let’s do it!

OBAMA (standing): Well, everyone, I want to congratulate you on a job well-done. We will certainly ride to victory in the General Election with this wonderful ticket of Hope, Change and Experience!

BURTON (muttering): Yeah, if we get the nomination.

AXELROD (menacingly): WHAT did you say, Bill?

BURTON: Nothing. O’Biden 08!

ALL: O’Biden 08!

(LIGHTS OUT.)

185 Responses

  1. Awwww, roses are my favorite! Thank you, SOD! 🙂

  2. stunning and the Convention stage looks like a casino in Vegas

    fuzzybeargville

  3. Jus sayin…I am thankful Hillary isn’t on this trainwreck.

    Thank you God!

  4. laughing so hard I am crying!

    fuzzybeargville

  5. Finally!! I got in a little bit early on a post. Now going to read the play.

    I do not think Obama is happy about Biden as VP, judging by the sour expression on his face during the speech.

  6. dastardi-you are so right amen brother or sister

    fuzzybeargville

    I see a train wreck commin’
    commin’ on strong-
    I ain’t seen such a trainwreck
    in I don’t know how long-

    fuzzybeargville

  7. Yes, that stage is tacky as h*ll. What’s wrong with red, white and blue, Obama for America?!

  8. Hi BB! [[waving]]

  9. Caroline Kennedy- I did not say Biden I said “can we “buy dem” some more time” before we make an announce our true candidate!

    fuzzybeargville

  10. oops new england accent does her in again-

    fuzzybeargville

  11. I am starting to think that our very own madamab is working undercover in the Obama campaign. How else does she continue to capture these meetings she writes so brilliantly about? Hmmmmmmmm. Bet what she writes is as close to the truth as the real deal. Got to think about this.

    madamab: Again, excellent!!!

  12. Heh. As if she was really doing the picking and choosing! She was just window dressing. Sweetie.

  13. Hilarious, madamab! Biden had to be his 57th choice, right? What a lame ticket. McCain must be a happy guy today.

  14. SOD – Yup, and I left out Bayh, too. Sigh. The list was so long, it was crashing my PC! LOL

    Thank you, PJ! Please, do not give away my secrets. I have stolen Harry Potter’s Cloak of Invisibility and do my spying through Foo Powder. 😉

  15. Kind of reminds me of McGovern and Eagleton. After Eagleton pulled out poor McGovern spend several weeks flying all over the country trying to find somebody, anybody to say yes. He ended up with Sargent Shriver. Result: loss.

  16. Great Job Madamab…you got it nailed.

    I hope that it is okay, I am reposting my second post here since it took me awhile to write it. I had included comments about Biden and what he had to say about Obama during the VP announcement. I will get faster at this, thanks for your patience.

    Hi Again, thanks for posting my comments earlier.

    Today was my very first post here. I too love the Clintons. Bill was absolutely a brilliant President.

    The Democrat Party leadership is insane for trying to destroy and bannish Hillary and Bill. He saved the party and your right “State Of Disbelief.” it is all about jealousy, greed and above all POWER.

    Bill Clinton would not let them steal tax payer dollars anymore; he balanced the budget. He was a real Leader who truly loves the people!!!

    Of course the Obama Campaign still wants to use Hillary in every way they can to get The Chosen Ones elected.

    I am still praying that by some MIRACLE, Hillary gets the nomination. Thanks to all who are on your way to Denver and you are representing the millions who still want Hillary AS OUR POTUS.

    Thanks so much for being on the front line; it takes courage to be there and I know you are protected by all the prayers and good protective energy being sent your way.

    While driving earlier this afternoon, I was listening to my local Public Radio station (Philadelphia/NJ area) and they were broadcasting Obamas VP announcement and NOBamas introduction of Biden.

    BTW this has been mentioned before by Riverdaughter, but even PBS and Public Radio are in the tank for Obama. Today, all the “expert types” and commentators that were interviewed were all falling over themselves about Biden and Obama.

    It makes me sick, sometimes I have to turn them off too. We need to call PBS on their fawning all over Obama.

    I have stopped donating to PBS/WHYY and PRI radio during this last fundraising cycle when they asked for money. I didn’t send any money (for years I have given them a pretty sizable donation-at least for me) I need to tell them the reason and I want to send them the information on the “We Will Not Be Silenced Documentary.”

    PBS is supposed to be unbiased and they have this commercial about themselves that says how important they are to the American people in the 2008 Election because they are unbiased. Not So!!!

    Back to the Broadcast on the Obama/Biden announcement.

    Biden said that,,,” He and Obama are going to change the direction of America and change the direction of the world.” Sounds like a new version of the disease, “NEOCONITIST’

    Biden also said that,,,,He had come to find out …”Obama has steel in his spine.”

    Well, Obama also has steel in his heart…. because he cares not a thing about the METHODS that he uses to attain the end goal that he wants.

    Obama uses ANY MEANS to win…disenfranchise voters, steal their votes, tear up the US constitution if it suits him.

    Make up the rules, change the rules, disregard the rules, lie and run over anyone who gets in his way.

    That was…..UNTIL NOW, no matter what happens at the Convention. WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED!!!

    Obama actually had a chance of uniting the party if he had picked Hillary for VP. I was really torn about that because she HAD WON THE PRIMARY and I was conflicted about the VP postion!!!

    We can prove with this incredible Documentary Film that Obama and his Minions committed Voter Fraud; this is the biggest corruption scandel since Watergate.

    Now, we have Primarygate, Fraudgate, whatever you want to call it….Obama and his Campaign (and he knew what was going on just like Nixon did) committed criminal acts in the Primary.

    Country Before Party, the Democrat Party leadership and the MSM talking heads said over and over that we had nowhere to go. They said that we Hillary supporters would HAVE TO fall in line and support NOBAMA. Hey, I got news for THEM, NO WAY, NO HOW, NO WHERE, NEVER!! YEAH PUMA!!!

    We found each other, that’s where we went and they have no idea what they have unleashed.

    Hillary we love you, Be strong as always!!! This is NOT OVER by a long shot.

    Bless You All, You Are Wonderful…The Confluence, PUMA, The Denver Group, and ALL YOU GREAT FOLKS OUT THERE who Will Not Be Silent!!

  17. SOD – Seriously, he was almost in there, but he didn’t fit into a good category. Plus, I never felt he was being seriously considered.

    Ah well. Poetic license, don’tcha know. 😉

  18. Another masterpiece, Madamab!

    I just can’t wait for Biden’s upcoming “macaca moment!” Maybe he’ll say something to Obama about the “black experience,” beginning with the words “you people…” Whatever gaffe he pulls, I hope it’s on national TV.

  19. CarlyinNJ – Thank you. Welcome!

  20. MadamaB:

    O great King David, you got me ROLLING!!!

    I kneel in your presence. Bravo, Madama Butterfly!

    (BTW, I’m still reheasring my “Hillary” part) LOL!)

  21. Alice – You got it! It was On The Bus. 🙂

  22. Does that stage set remind anyone of anything? A TV game show set? American Idol? Who wants to be a president? 😉

  23. Just some 80 days to go…..How many …..Biden moments do think will happen…..any bets.

  24. SM77 – I hope The Conflucian Players will get a chance to perform that play soon! I am sure you will be a fabulous Hillary. 🙂

  25. It is not a good idea to just change course when the boat is sinking. You need to bail out the water, plug the holes, batten down the hatches. First things first. Changing course can only guarantee you find yourself in deeper waters while the boat keeps sinking. And someone please tell me what “change” is going to look like anyway. Fix what is wrong before you start makeovers!

  26. Welcome, CarlyinNJ!

  27. WAIT A G__Ddamn minute…. is THAT really the DNC stage?

    They shoulda hired Dick Clark.

  28. For those would be thespians out there: I am Nancy. Hands off!

  29. SM,

    It’s ghastly, isn’t it? I can hardly believe it. Good God! Who is responsible? And how will they blame Hillary?

  30. That’s the stage all right. Looks like somebody got a little heavy handed and overdid the glitz. Like a 5 year old playing with Mommy’s makeup.

  31. MadamaB: I’m so ready! I’m a Scorpio like Hillary – I’ll get my NorthEastern Latino Accent in check – I swear.

    I nominate Pat as Pelosi!

  32. SM77 – Yes, it is! I got it right from the Convention website. Isn’t it horrible?

    Yes, PJ – you are.Nancy. No one else can portray her with the icy dignity she deserves. 😉

    SOD – Of course! Don’t go too Method, though. We can use CGI. 😉

  33. We are rather an obsessive bunch aren’t we?

  34. Just saw the end of a CNN report and Donna B. said something like “this is going to be a rebirth”.

    It reminded me of that bumper sticker, “Born Okay the First Time”.

  35. The stage is so garrish that it seems like a parody.

    I think that Obama and Michelle are so much in love with themselves that this ridiculous royal palace that they created for the Coronation looks beautiful to them.
    Also, Donna B. must have helped, you can see her hand in this razzle, dazzle ugly creation.

    Obama is blind to the truth just like he can’t tell phoney, garrish, uglyness from what is real and true and beautiful…the DNC Convention/Coronation Hall is hidious.

    I can not believe the DNC has turned the Dem Party over to Obama and Cadre.

    We will get the Party back!!! Yes, We Will!!!

  36. State: MACACA Biden is the name I think of him in my BolicheLatino brain.

    There will be no other way I’ll refer to him.

  37. MadamaB: I heard awful remarks of the DNC stage yesterday – but didn’t find a photo.

    IT’s AWFUL!

    Dick Clark, HELP!!! American Music Awards are 10x better than that!

  38. And to think, I used to call McCain McCaca, thinking he’d be the first to make a huge gaffe in public! I think Obama and Biden can out-gaffe McCain any day.

  39. New email from the DNC. For a mere $15 we can purchase a brand new Obama/Biden car magnet

  40. bostonboomer, on August 23rd, 2008 at 6:23 pm Said:
    SM,

    It’s ghastly, isn’t it? I can hardly believe it. Good God! Who is responsible? And how will they blame Hillary?

    It looks like a computer threw up all over the stage.

  41. Too all in the world of the Living-

    I resent the insinuation that Obama is channelling me or has sold his soul me. That is just not true, I resent the insult to my intelligence and I must tell you I would never do that. With Jesse Helms and Jerry fallwell and Strom thurmond running amuck down here I have my hands full.

    I have also been working hard preparing for the arrival of Karl Rove and several others. My hands are full. I have had to put off the whole anti-christ thing another generation because these idiots down here have not learned who’s the boss.

    So the last thing I need to do is worry about Obama and his wishes to be “the greatest”! He is doing a good job of screwing it up on his own. I

    Also I could never get the world to buy guy if I was know as the one that gave the world Obama. So stop telling the man upstairs I am responsible…I am not!

    sincerely,

    Old Scratch

  42. great madam : act two has to be negotiations with how long Biden stays in the bat cave!!!

  43. Jmac, on August 23rd, 2008 at 6:26 pm Said:
    Just saw the end of a CNN report and Donna B. said something like “this is going to be a rebirth”.

    More like the afterbirth, of WHAT, I have no clue.

  44. OMG SOD – I JUST got your acronym!

    LOLOLOLOL

  45. The thought of turning on the tv and having all channels of Obama and Biden staring back is infuriating. Wonder what’s on Nick at Nite. This is what we will be reduced to since listening to what passes for “news” is not good for our health. The rest of the weekend and the Sunday Morning talk shows will be filled with the wonder of these two. And I don’t want to watch talking heads I may have liked promote this fraud.

    Nope, better to grab a few books and tune into WE. At least this channel is geared to women even if they portray us as romantic morons.

  46. Chatblu: Even if they gave me $1,000 gas card, I still wouldn’t vote for them (and trust me, I need it!)

  47. This is from the John Zogby website

    “Obama might not beat McCain without Clinton and her supporters”

    This is from the most recent NBC/Wall Street Journal Poll

    “A new Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll yesterday shows that his challenge remains attracting Senator Clinton’s supporters to the ticket. Half said they would vote for the senator and one in five said they would support Senator McCain.”

    George Bush was elected President the second time because he defeated John Kerry by less than 20,000 votes in Ohio. The total number of popular votes cast in the 2004 election was 122,267,533. A change of two one hundredths of one percent of the total vote cast (if concentrated in Ohio) would have changed the outcome.

    George Bush was elected President the first time because he defeated Al Gore by less than 1,000 votes in Florida. The total number of popular votes cast in the 2000 election was 105,405,100. A change of one thousandth of one percent of the total votes cast (if concentrated in Florida) would have changed the outcome.

    Bush defeated Kerry by 286 to 252 electoral votes; Bush defeated Gore by 271 to 266 electoral votes.

    The PUMA vote will almost certainly decide this election.

    Despite this, Obama didn’t even vet Clinton (thank goodness)

    Obama=fool

  48. BIOJOB??

  49. Fuzzy: YOU ARE A GENIUS!

  50. SOD: Allrighty then. Got it.

  51. Whoever designed that stage could be incredibly popular as an interior decorator for brothels.

  52. SOD – That’s why I write these plays. 🙂

  53. Just got an e-mail from Hillary–I’m sure you all did too. I don’t like the sound of it:

    I want to congratulate Joe Biden on becoming the vice presidential running nominee. Joe is a friend and colleague, a strong experienced leader and a devoted public servant. I look forward to not only seeing him in Denver next week but on the trail as I work to help Barack Obama and Joe Biden along with many other Democratic candidates campaign this fall.

    Democrats are going to have a great and unified convention in Denver next week, and I can’t wait to be there. I am looking forward to visiting my friends and colleagues from New York, stopping by events like the Emily’s List reception, and doing everything I can to champion Barack Obama along the way.

  54. I think it has been credited to Bobby Trendy who designed for Anna Nicole Smith. I lust loved what he did for her bedroom when he covered the walls in pink fake fur! The effect was stunning! Of course it drove the dogs nuts because they never knew where to pee.

  55. CHICAGO POLITICS = PUPPET OBAMA

    Do what your told, and spin it, like it’s your idea.

  56. Wig Wag: They don’t need us. We have been replaced by swimsuit models with PhDs in architecture. They’ll be fine. Many months ago, I decided to believe them and not worry about given them my old, bitter, Appalachian born, Fl resident vote ( or portion thereof).

  57. we could always do SOB=senators obama and biden

  58. I am just inspired by you all.

    My one year old Grand Daughter, Isabella is waiting for me, so I must sign off.

    Here is to PumaPower and Rockin The Democrat Convention. They will know we are represented and we are there cause it ain’t business as usual.

    No fallin in line for PUMAs!!

    Luv2UAll

  59. This is something for the Democratic family to work out within itself and I can’t tell anyone what to think.

    For me, however, I couldn’t do it. Having watched those documentary trailers, and knowing that Obama stole the election through his caucus goons, I could never promise to “champion Barack Obama along the way.”

  60. Pat,

    I have learned to love watching the animal channel.

  61. That convention stage upsets my tummy!

  62. BB, I was just reading that email and thinking I need to remove my name from the list. the rah-rah cheerleader stuff is depressing.

  63. I thought Bush won Ohio in 2004 by like 100K not 20K.

  64. Eagle went bye-bye. These people are truly disgusting.

  65. That convention stage is just so waaaaaaaay over the top.

  66. SOD: could you translate that for me?

  67. When I look at Obama and Biden, I see 2 men who stood by and let a woman get publicly and repeatedly abused by thugs, and did nothing, because it served their political careers.

  68. Yup, she has to do it.

    If she walks away, it truly is hopeless.

    What they send me goes into the recycling without being opened. I trust Hillary to know what she is doing.

  69. Oh boy, there are some good ones here today.

    BLOJOB and SOB! Love it.

    Was over at No Quarter reading about how they are hiding the Denver homeless during the Convention. Hiding one of the many things that the next President is going to have to work on. Lovely.

  70. Robin – Yup!

    All right, gotta go for a while. Trolls, you’re boring liars that suck.

    Talk to you all later! 🙂

  71. Bye Madamab!

    By the way, who is volunteering to play the part of Backtrack?

  72. The Obama/Biden pin has Obama in white letters and Biden in pale blue so it fades into the background.

    It’s all about The One.

  73. Bye, madamab!
    🙂

  74. When I look at Biden, I see someone who’s been running for President since 1988 and couldn’t get to first base.

    Now he’s the Next Dick Cheney, or so he hopes.

  75. 😯

  76. ahh…rather what I thought it said. Anyone remember Elizabeth Glaser speaking at the 92 Convention? Anything like that this year? I think not!

  77. Kitty:

    November 5 Headline:

    McCAIN WINS!
    Clinton Loyalists Deny Obama the White House.

  78. Would anyone like Elizabeth Glaser be comfortable on a jukebox like that?! Is that thing actually for real people?

  79. Ben Carlson you are correct. My figure for Ohio in 2004 was inaccurate. Bush actually defeated Kerry in Ohio by 118,601 votes. Sorry about that.

  80. I just realized you included a picture of that gawdy “solid gold dancers” stage.

  81. Madamab-another success!

    Plural and all-Thanks for making me feel a little better about Hillary. It’s just so discouraging to receive her e-mails promising all her support for these losers! Although this VP pick is a joke, it still saddens me that NObama didn’t have the decency to consider Hillary. (Not that I would have ever voted for him anyway!) I just choose to think she turned him down!

    Rise Hillary Rise!

  82. Kitty, kitty, you are absolutely play with your Obama to much.

  83. What I love about the failure to choose Hillary is that they blame Bill’s foundation and the money donated to it.

    Bill’s foundation is a charity. I guess they don’t understand what that word means.

    Only the Obama people and the media would want to try to demonize charity.

    (Not that I would want her to be The One’s VP. She and we are much better off with her in the Senate.)

  84. The only thing missing is this…

    As the group stands to leave, they chatter amongst themselves.

  85. I didn’t know that Daily Kos (where RD blogged before starting this site) was the home of GOP “pondscum.”

    I truly believe that this is what extreme party loyalty can do to people: incite them to make palpably false statements, having blinded them with hatred for the other side.

  86. Democrat sues Sen. Obama over ‘fraudulent candidacy’

    A prominent Pennsylvania Democrat has sued Sen. Barack Obama, the Democratic National Committee and the Federal Election Commission, claiming that Obama is not a natural-born citizen and, therefore, is not eligible to be president of the United States.

    Philip J. Berg, a former member of Pennsylvania’s Democratic State Committee and former deputy attorney general of Pennsylvania, filed the lawsuit this week in U.S District Court, asking the court to declare Obama ineligible for the presidency and to prevent him from running for the position
    Continue Reading http://countusout.wordpress.com/

  87. johninca, on August 23rd, 2008 at 6:36 pm Said:
    Whoever designed that stage could be incredibly popular as an interior decorator for brothels.

    LOL! Never been in a brothel, but if brothels looks like a like a computer threw up on the stage, then so be it.

    Dick Clark, one of the greatest TV?Award show producers of our time, would be SHAMED at this set up.

    Hell, even Wheel of Fortune is better than this.

  88. kitty coughed up a regurgitated furball and thinks it’s original and compelling.

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ve been called everything from GOP trolls to whores to bitches to bitter old gun toting clingy harridan racist white women, for months now.

    *yawn* Get some new material.

  89. Burton: What about Bayh?

  90. What Kitty meant to say:

    I am a sorry sell out I worship Obama’s vomit like it is holy water-I am an angry r*cist j*w hating Wom*n hatingHillary hating gas bag. I am a coward and I am gutless. I am also 18 yearsold and I have indulgent parents who give me whatever I want. Also the fact that my post matches the last 10 to a tee means I am the same person that poste before.

    So I am all the previous trolls and I am shamless. I took on a feminine namw because I like to put on womens clothing and hang around in bars-I am a lumberjact-I am pondscum.

    I am a Rightwing democrat that was a SS officer in my ppast life I have no tollerance for anyone who disagrees with me. I am spoiled and I dont care I want the big cookie on November 4th….

    love kisses kitty-

    fuzzybeargville

  91. madamab

    Harry Potter would feel very comfortable on that “magical” stage.

  92. Check this out:

    http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2065855/posts

    Suit filed Thurs. in Fed. Court in Philadelphia – Obama constitutionally ineligible for presidency.

    The lawyer (Philip Berg) who filed the suit said this in an interview yesterday:

    “Sen. Obama really owes it to everyone to confront this. He should threaten me. “Berg,” he should say, “here are the documents and, if you do not withdraw the suit, I will sue you.” Right now, he has no basis to sue me. If he does have the documents, he should show them, and I’ll walk away. I’ll withdraw the case. But, again, he must show me a certified vault copy of his birth certificate and must show me a certified copy of the oath of allegiance taken between the time he was 19 to 21 at a Consulate, U.S. Embassy or the like. If those documents can be presented, again, I’m out of here. But I don’t think he can, I don’t think he will, and I think it is a total disgrace on his part.”

    I think if Obama/campaign can’t produce these documents in 48 hours, Obama is toast, and DNC, etc. will be begging Hillary to be candidate.

  93. sm77, LOL! Yes, that’s IT! Wheel of Fortune or some other game show!

    That picture needs to be captioned “I’d like to buy a vowel, please.”

  94. There is nothing warm or welcoming about it. Frankly, this party has turned into something I am not. I thought we were the party for the underprivileged and the down and out. Now we are just Hollywood!

  95. You can’t make this stuff up!

  96. Madamab, I know you do this as comic relief for us but this one seems quite serious. I wouldn’t doubt that this is how the decision came about.

    What is OTB by the way? All I could come up with was On the Bus.

  97. Wonderful!!

  98. It is a distraction. The more over the top it is the less concern for substance. They expect us to go away reciting the “wow” factor while the rest of our problems simply dissipate. Never ask The One for a solution. He is loaded with platitudes and high minded rhetoric but terribly short on solutions. But hey, look at all those balloons over there! And the lights and the music! Wow!

  99. I think the numbers go south from here because a vast majority of hillary supporters were still hoping for her as a running mate-no that Obama/Clinton has been put to bed they will be running for the exits better order up the causmo’s for the next scratchin’ post evening rico may need some help I predict that it is going to get crowded at our websites….18 million voices cryed out in terror and were suddenly silenced-NOT!

    fuzzybeargville

  100. 80 days so far.

  101. I gotta say.

    If McCain picks Palin as his running mate, he has my 100% support.

    Biden sucks.

  102. Ohhhh…can I be in the play??? Please Please Please?????

  103. Ben, the underprivileged and the down and out have to be hidden away so they don’t harsh anyone’s mellow. this is the new democratic party.

  104. Ben: Have you seen the Oscars and Grammys?

    Waaaaay better stage design than “Tron Blowing Chunks On Stage”

    NOW I KNOW what this reminds me of:

    OMG – 90s moment: This stage set up is MTV – Downtown Julie Brown at the NY Palladium – pre-TRL.

  105. Maybe they will have an emcee at the convention who will announce the speakers like this:

    “[insert name here], COME ON DOOOWN!”

  106. Ben Carlson – The Obamans are about exclusion, not inclusion. They are right and everyone else is wrong, even their fellow Democrats. Not only are we wrong – we’re traitors AND we’re responsible for the fact that their candidate is absolutely horrible.

    I don’t understand a mindset like that, and frankly, they all remind me of rabid right-wing Republicans. I never thought the left had such hateful *ssh@les in it.

    But then, they’re all on the Internets, so who knows where all the trolls REALLY come from?

  107. sm77 – I smell another “Satire On A Budget” moment!

  108. Poor Dick Clark and his stroke.

  109. The Bots are just wetting themselves with excitement! “This is what he needs, someone with experience, blah blah blah”. No what he needs is his own experience and qualifications. This is not “High School Musical”. He is not being considered for Homecoming Queen but for the highest office in the land. If they cannot see this candidacy for what it is then God help us all.

    Aside from the fraud and the double dealing, he is uniformly unqualified to be Commander in Chief. So who are they voting for – Obama or Biden?

  110. madama be kitty soiled your thread please insert an appropiate response or delete he comments the confluence is to to be treated like a cat box

    fuzzybeargville

  111. but the cake is so good….:)

  112. thanks madamab- you ae on the trolls tonight

    fuzzybeargville

  113. Michael – I don’t see her comment. I think the lovely and talented SM already tossed her on her stinky butt.

  114. VERY nice play, madamab.

  115. Sarah Palin is an unlikely choice. She’s been running into some issues in Alaska. I think a Meg Whitman or Fiorina would dwarf her in the area of accomplishments. I’d like to see a woman, but he has very few to choose from in his party.

    I don’t think it’s that we are becoming Republicans. What we have become are swing voters simply looking for a candidate that in some manner espouses our values. Country First is a PUMA value. And as I said before Hillary would be arguing that national health care, foreclosure assistance, immigration reform is all about putting Country First. The Democrat party is now about Obama First. It’s quite simple.

  116. The inanity of the Obamabots reminds me of that Miss Teen South Carolina who delivered that tortured response on education during the contest. Stupid, uninformed, dense.

  117. (sigh)

    Would you hate me if I asked Hillary to remove my name from her list? I just don’t want to read them anymore

  118. only if it says so.

  119. First question to Biden at a debate: Aren’t you more qualified to be president than Senator Obama?

  120. DNC Stage = MTV 90s Downtown Julie Brown:

  121. Go for it Katie. I understand what she is doing, but we don’t need to read it.

  122. PJ – Exactly. You know, Hillary could run beside a ham sandwich and win this election. She’s got what it takes. Obama doesn’t. No amount of hype, hoopla and garishly-colored stages is going to change that.

    There really is no answer to the “inexperienced” argument. That’s why he never should have run in the first place. All of this mess could have been avoided. But then, the Evil Clintons might have gotten back into the White House!!!1111!!!!

  123. katie, if you remove your name, you won’t get the ones you want to see.

    Just don’t read them.

  124. Maybe their kids designed it.

  125. When I heard the Biden announcement I though “What an idiot.” Yet another reason NObama will sink. And McCain is going to pick a woman for VP.

    BTW, madamab, you have endless talent!

  126. You are right SM. It looks like a Disco.

  127. Thanks, KB! Good to see you. 🙂

    Okay, really going now – leaving you in the capable hands of Ms. Katiebird and Ms. SM! PUMA POWER!!!

  128. What do you mean? WHERE are you going? NO! NO!

  129. madamab — I have to be silly sometimes or I’ll just break down and cry. 😦

  130. chat blu — ?

  131. I am not looking to become a Republican. That was never my intent. My intent is based solely on sending a message to the DNC. You cannot do this and get away with it. If it means McCain is the victor come November I could not care less. They have already stripped this nomination by ridding us of the one candidate supremely qualified to lead. In her wake, they have left us with a uniquely unqualified candidate and insist that we accept it. Wrong.

    I will not get onboard and shrug off the damage and fraud that has occurred simply because he is black. I would feel as strongly if he were not and he were a she. It is the quality of the candidate and the issues they espouse. Basing a vote solely on gender, race, or religion is abhorrent. But this is what it has come to.

    Come November the DNC must pay for this folly. Otherwise it will get worse.

  132. madamab — and I thank you much…it can be a very distressing time. But here at the Confluence we can find commaraderie and support — and a great laugh now and then. (sometimes more now than then).

  133. Hey Anyone Remember This?

    Joe Biden
    by kos
    Wed Jan 31, 2007 at 08:04:49 AM PDT

    Really, if we live in a just world, this will be the end of Joe Biden’s political career. On Barack Obama:

    “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” he said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

    “Articulate”. “Mainstream”. “Bright and clean”.

    It’s clear his career has dragged on one election cycle too many.
    http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/1/31/11112/2465

  134. BB…she has to.

  135. Madamab: You got a point there!

    I saw this stage – an I KNEW it reminded me of SOMETHING I’ve seen before.

    DownTown Julie Brown will announce the speechmakers as go-go girls dance on the sidelines. UGH!

  136. chatblu —

    please watch this video.. you’ll pee your pants. It’s my new theme song. The words are perfect, beginning to end.

  137. I’m with you on that one, katiebird.

    This last e-mail pained me and I considered, for the very first time, unsubsribing.

    I keep reminding myself that the Clintons know what they are doing……doesn’t mean I have to read her cheerleading e-mails anymore, though.

  138. We have now reached a third calling of scumbags. Can’t you guys get more creative with your adjectives. God even I could come up with at least 5-10 more that you may want to consider.

    Tiger, you need to return to your cave. Your serving of raw meat has been prepared. Enjoy.

  139. Oops, that’s unsubscribing. Left out a C – sort of like Barry did.

  140. MadamaB: Auurgh! I can’t moderate posts other than my own – Katiebird, help!

  141. November 5, 2008

    McCAIN WINS!
    Clinton Loyalists Deny Obama the White House

    (you write the first line of the article…)

  142. katiebird: If she continues to “sell” him after next week I am unsubscribing. I just refuse to be a party to this fraud and will not listen to anyone of the bloviaters who will insist on filling the airwaves with praise. Just won’t be able to stomach it.

  143. Can somebody sent the troll back home?

  144. fred: hilarious

    Just think of great stuff is out there, just waiting to be dug up, much it from the great hypocrites of the fauxprogressives.

  145. Thanks Pat & Alice & Plural,

    I’ll hold off for now but, I’m thinking about my options.

    I’m also wondering about the future of PUMA. I’m struggling with the idea of throwing myself too deeply in something that’s purely negative.

    (depression)

  146. I hope you’re right. My mom got something from Nancy Pelosi today with a message from Bill Clinton in it. I couldn’t face reading it. I think they might still have Chelsea tied to a chair somewhere.

  147. We have had some real idiots “pop” up on occasion but this one sounds like a real sicko.

  148. oh my gosh!! you are really funny!!!!!

  149. “Stunned Obama supporters watched in shock as state after state was called for Senator McCain. Democrats knew it would be a long night when Indiana was quickly called for McCain shortly after polls closed. The crushing defeat for Obama in a state neighboring his home state of Illinois set the tone for the long night at the McCormack Center in Chicago, Obama’s election night headquarters.”

  150. I’m on your side!!!
    wheeeee

  151. I’m not sure how to say this, but will try.

    I am not Hillary and she is not me.

    I don’t expect her to act as I would, and I don’t expect myself to act as she would.

    But she has worked incredibly hard for years for us and she has earned our respect and our patience. We need her to keep working in the way she thinks is right. We owe her more than to turn our backs because we don’t like this or that action she takes because she feels it necessary in the interests of a long term strategy.

  152. BB….

    it’s a double-edged sword for the Clintons.

  153. Katie:

    Without Hillary is does seem like we have nothing good to grasp on to at this time. However, I think we all have our moments of wanting to just quietly walk away and just quietly and privately exercising our right to vote in November. I think we need to keep focused on the humor that we all share.

  154. I agree, plural. I’m just not real interested in Hope & Change messages. No matter who’s sending them.

  155. Love the play! Although I came to wonder if Biden wasn’t picked ahead of time too considering the video I saw with Brazile defending his “articulate” statement (much better than “fairy tale”).
    As for that photo – my eyes! It burns! Does B0 know the sets are going to upstage him? There was a very short lived TV show Shatner did this year on ABC – some sort of a contest with girlies dancing…Didn’t survive more than 2 shows. It had a quieter set than this…

  156. madamab — they seem to be out in more full force.
    OK..gotta run and take a shower.

  157. (nodding) The humor is good.

  158. Ben…

    Alice got it. See her post just above.

  159. katiebird: I kind of think I know what you are feeling. We have invested so much time and attention to this race that the letdown is just settling in. We are fearful that she will either willingly or be forced to come out in full praise and support of someone whom we all consider a lying fraud for want of a better description. That kind of lowers the pedestal for her in our eyes.

    That is what I have been struggling with as well. I was serious when I said earlier that we will be watching and listening to people we have admired and trusted coming out and propping up this candidate whom they know otherwise to be a freaken fraud. Yesterday a taste of this with Carville and Begala for instance.

    So yes, I hear you and share your depression. I too want to hang on. But in all honesty, after next week all bets are off.

  160. This blog has been a good place for me today as I nurse a summer cold. Normally, I would be at the golf course or at the gym. After the convention, who knows where we will be. We can still remember the good times.

  161. I’ve been away for most of the day. Is that seriously the stage for the convention or did you photoshop that sh*t yourself? It is tacky as hell. That belongs on Broadway or a strip club. Even the Oscars look classier than this.

  162. If you want to see what Hillary’s heart is like, go back and read the tribute she wrote for Stephanie Tubbs Jones.

    These are women who know that the fight is long and you don’t always win, but you keep on trying whichever way you can think of. The fight will go on a lot longer than any one person will — you need to enjoy yourself along the way and sometimes conserve your strength for the times you can make a difference.

  163. Frankly, I think we are all the victims of Haka again. So everyone SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!

  164. plural: I don’t think that is where katiebird is coming from. We all know the greatness that lies within Hillary: a fighter, someone who keeps their word, brilliant, tough when she needs to be, soft when it is required. We all love that about her and why we so rabidly stood by her.

    The feeling is of having her urge us into doing something we both abhor and resist. These messages from her site are gag inducing. For whatever reason, personal or political, it is leaving bad tastes in our mouths. I think this is the well the feeling depression is being drawn.

  165. I don’t think I’m a victim exactly. I’m just wondering where we go from here. Or from next week…

    Probably it’s exhaustion. We’ve been out running branches through a chipper all afternoon and even though mister did most of the hard stuff, the heat was miserable.

  166. We just have to wait until next week.

  167. Katie, treat yourself to something nice. It’s almost autumn: time for county fairs and football and back to school, Halloween, leaves turning. A time for new beginnings!

  168. katiebird: You should see what I did with my hair! If I did not know me I wouldn’t know me! I messed up coloring the roots. Got it back down to maybe penny color. What a sight!

  169. I’m getting the e mails, too.

    I look at them and move on. You don’t have to agree with her, or do what she says. Just delete the e mail, or pass by it.

    But I don’t see the point in unsubscribing from her list because of a temporary annoyance.

  170. Katiebird,

    Think of Hillary as in the beginning stages of running in 2012, should the messiah
    be a false one. As it stands, simply asking to have her name in
    nomination next week as would be any candidate with delegates, is putting
    herself on the line. A profile in courage that would never be present
    in Obama.

    Let Denver play out.

  171. Think of RD and Mawm and Gary and Will Bower fighting the good fight in Denver. It’s going to be much harder on them than it is on us.

  172. I know I’ve felt down and discouraged today, too. We have all worked so hard to support Hillary and maintain hope that she will prevail at the convention. Now, we are here….in just a few days, we will know. It’s not as if we haven’t known that it is likely NObama will be nominated. We’ve agreed that it’s been fixed. But we also agreed that will see that he never sets foot in the White House. My job is not over after next week. I will do everything I can to see that he loses. And if he wins, at least I can say I tried. Just like Hillary! No one has fought harder than she has!

    Rise Hillary Rise!

  173. katiebird: And next week you will have joaniebone visiting and God knows what she will be dragging in the door. But if Ed is among the suitcases, send him back C.O.D. by Fed Ex. No matter what condition you find him in.

  174. Pat! How did you do that? What happened? Copper isn’t too bad though. It’s sort of my color…

  175. Pat, I’m really looking forward to Joanie getting here. And Gary & Mawm were going to stop by too. But, I haven’t heard from them recently…

  176. Plural & CB — that’s a good way to think of it. Thanks.

  177. Ben, my life is a salt-lick. When we got back from the chipping my mother-in-law (who lives with us and keeps us on a very short leash) was mad that we were out “playing” without her. She can’t stand it if we so much as go to the post office. County fairs are TOTALLY out of the question.

  178. katie, oh dear. Sorry about that 😦

  179. katiebird: I overtimed it and left it in too long before washing it out. The color was unbelievable! Instead of soft brown it was indescribable: dark brown, orange, red, pink. Horrible. My daughter went to CVS and purchased another kit. It is now somewhat “russet”. Supposed to wash out in 6 weeks but I may have to go to the hairdresser to adjust. This was my idea of saving a few pennies. Right. Never give an amateur a job a professional should do.

  180. Riverdaughter is in Denver. New post up.

  181. Whew! And here I thought the Obama campaign might have had something up their sleeves. Looks like I needn’t have worried. They fell right in to the “damned if you do” trap.

    Pick someone equally unfit for office (as to not show up “the Oneder”) and you’re laughable. Pick the old white guy with tons of Washington insider experience totally admitting you’re unfit for office and you’re, well, laughable.

    Thankfully they ignored the only one who could save bobo’s ass. The one who would heal the unity wound. The one who would show how magnanimous in victory you could be. The one with the experience you don’t have but still couldn’t match your gender so you could still act superior. The one who would give you and eight point bump even without the gaudy celebration.

    But noooooo.

    Thank you bicky, I would have had to vote a ticket with Hillary anywhere on it. And that would have royally chapped my ass.

  182. we need a third party, one that represents the old time democrats with a d … not the elitist democrats

  183. #
    Pat Johnson, on August 23rd, 2008 at 6:22 pm Said:

    For those would be thespians out there: I am Nancy. Hands off!

    Don’t forget that you’ll need lots of Botox for this roll — your face needs to be stone cold stiff — well not dead stiff. You get the idea???

  184. I don’t post very often, but I want to know l looked forward to these one-act plays.

  185. I think the One and the DNC have some serious math skill problems.

    It’s as if they are playing some kind of deranged version of ‘Deal – Or No Deal’.

    They’ve just turned down the box with 18 millon in it, and selected the one containing 9,500 !

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