Lanny, your friend from Yale is NOT vice-presidential material!

Doesn't look VICE-presidential to me, Lanny.

(As Big Tent Democrat says on Talk Left, “Speaking for me only.”)

Lanny, I apologize for my rude behavior when you were on No We Won’t Radio with Sheri Tag.  I had a “Satire on a Budget” moment that was quite crass.  It was rude, I admit it, and I promise to not let my satirical moments take the best of my Conflucian tastes.  But I’m really upset at your remarks, especially after your new Wall Street Journal opinion piece from yesterday – so I decided to address my frustration with your “Hillary as VP!” schtick head on:

Lanny Davis Op-Ed:

Why Obama Should Pick Hillary

By LANNY J. DAVIS
July 31, 2008; Page A15
Picking a vice president is obviously Barack Obama’s decision to make. He must be comfortable with who he picks. Comfort level between a president and vice president may be the most important factor of all.

So I can only offer my argument, based on some facts and subjective impressions, as to why I believe it would be in Sen. Obama’s personal and political interest to select Hillary Rodham Clinton as his vice presidential running mate. Not just to enhance his chances of winning — but, more important, to help him be a more effective president.

So basically what you’re saying is that Obama should pick someone who he knows he can boss around and have them do his homework for him while taking all the credit for it.  And you think Hillary is going to be the best at helping Obama be MORE “effective” – shouldn’t he be “effective” all by himself first?

The Double Agent: A Play in One Twisted Act.

THE SCENE: Two offices, one belonging to KKKARL ROVE and the other belonging to DONNA BRAZILE. Each office takes up half of the stage, with ROVE’s office stage right, and BRAZILE’s, stage left.

ROVE’s office is furnished in traditional Republican style, with dark wood, leather chairs, stuffed animal heads on the walls, and a fireplace with Nixon’s portrait over the mantle. The desk, which sits against the backstage wall, is large and covered with papers, a multi-line phone, and a small laptop. A framed poster of the movie “1984” hangs over it, behind ROVE’s head. The man himself sits hunched at the desk, working furiously on many things at once.

BRAZILE’s office is full of bright colors and abstract art. Her taste is more Danish modern than Rove’s, with a focus on light woods and steel accents. She’s also sitting behind a desk against the backstage wall, but unlike Bush’s Brain, she is busy taking turns staring off into space, and staring at the phone. Clearly, she is waiting for a call that just isn’t coming.

Finally, BRAZILE makes a decision. She picks up the phone and hits a Speed Dial button.

BRAZILE (into the phone): Hello? Helga, is that you? (smiling) Hi there darlin’, it’s Donna. (Her smile disappears after hearing what Helga has to say.) Now don’t you play that little game with me, Helga. I know he’s screening. I’ve been trying to get him for a week. You just go ahead and put me on with him, or I’ll just keep calling every three minutes until you do. (slight pause while Helga gives in) That’s what I thought. I’ll hold, but not for long!

(In ROVE’s office, the phone buzzes.)

ROVE (hitting the speaker setting on the phone): Yes, Helga?

HELGA: Karl, it’s that Donna Brazile again. She says she’s going to call every three minutes until you talk to her!

ROVE (frustrated): That woman just cannot take a hint! (sighs forebearingly) Okay, Helga, I might as well get this over with. Put her through. (A fake joviality enters his manner.) Hello, Donna!

BRAZILE (hitting the speaker setting on her phone): Well, FINALLY. Why have you been avoiding my calls, Karl? This had better be good. Things are starting to go really badly for President Obama. His bump in the polls from that trip he took last week has totally disappeared, and the media is starting to turn against him. They’re calling him the “presumptuous” nominee now, just like those PUMAs have been doing for the last few months! What are we going to do?

(ROVE is gleefully silent.)

BRAZILE: Hello? Are you there? Dammit, you helped me get the ball rolling with President Obama. Without your money and connections, he never would have gotten this far. But now our plan seems to be falling apart. You’ve gotta help me, Karl!

Friday: Top 10 Reasons to Nominate Hillary at the Convention

10.) Now that she’s not going to be VP, it will keep the wimmin folk happy.

9.) She did kinda earn more votes than he did.

8,) NJ has hired Tony Soprano and his men to pay the RBC Committe members a social call and break Howard Dean’s knees for making the state pay millions on a primary that didn’t count.

7.) CA, NY, MA, FL, MI, PA, OH, TX, AZ, WV and KY are paying Tony’s travel expenses.

6.) She can speak sentences that have a begining, middle and an end.

5.) Those sentences make her sound more qualified than him.

4.) No fried foods in Denver?!?! (Someone tell Bill)

3.) It’s the principle of the thing.

2.) To show once and for all that Obama is not a chickenshit coward who is afraid he might lose to a girl.

1.) If the convention isn’t fair, open and transparent with an authentic nomination for Hillary and arguments for her, and yes, maybe even some disunity before the final vote, then the nominee will not be seen as legitimate — and we WALK!