Lanny, Lanny, Lanny, we have brains and we know how to use them.

Dear Lanny,

I am listening to you on blogtalkradio and I’m not sure you understand who we are.  We are political junkies.  We eat this stuff for breakfast, in my case, *before* breakfast.  We’ve been paying attention to all of the moving parts since we were children.  There is absolutely NOTHING you can BS us on that we can’t see right through.

Now, I don’t know who roped you into coming to us to try to talk us out of our course of action but you can march right back to them and give them a message for us.  “NO DEAL ON OBAMA”

We know exactly what Obama is.  He’s an ambitious ass kissing schmoozer with a razor thin CV. He’s a ruthless campaigner and an unethical delegate thief.  He will compromise with the Republcians on just about everything including energy policy and FISA.  We don’t know what he’d do on reproductive rights but given his track record, anything is possible as long as it is politically expedient.

We don’t want this man as our president, Lanny.  The American public has nothing to gain from Republican Lite.  He is only going to benefit affluent liberals and many of US fall into that category.  He is no FDR, he’s got no experience and our ears will bleed if we have to listen to him for four years.  He is a non-starter for us, Lanny.

What’s more, we don’t like the way that politics were played this year.  This may be the election where the mostly male, mostly older power brokers finally get the boot.  We are a new generation of women and men who were brought up in a more egalitarian era.  We’re not going to put up with the old way of picking nominees.  Now, honor us and our candidate.

Savvy?

Lanny, we have thought this through from every angle and believe me, the party can not get any less unified by submitting Hillary’s name in nomination.  We want it, the country wants it.  Whether the DNC wants it is of no interest to us.  It can either do the right thing now or it can suffer the consequences later.

Give it up, Lanny.

Sincerely,

Riverdaughter

Afternoon Silliness and a reminder

Up until today, I thought I had the most recessive genes on the planet.  Neither of my kids looks like me.  I frequently wondered who the real mother was.  But lately, Brook’s sense of humor has started to take on some familiar features.  Like, she *gets* Monty Python.  And she is learning how to snark.  Hmmm, maybe she’s related after all.  Today, I have confirmation.  She introduced me to Jonathan Coulton.  Yep, she’s mine alright.

Speaking of humor. the DNC has been trying to define us, with predictably humorous results.  Last week, Don Fowler and Alice Fermond called us “fatiguing and irritating”.  A few days ago, and ABC News affiliate referred to us as militants.  So, we’ve been trying to polish our army boots to make a good impression.  And on Friday, Howard Dean called us “low class” for exercising our first amendment rights.  So, SM77 got out her handy-dany gimp application and created a composite of a PUMA based on these descriptions: a mullet headed Che Guevara type with ADHD.   Great job, SM.  I like the way you have placed the PUMA in its natural habitat.

Do you recognize this person?

Finally, Don’t forget that Lanny Davis will be a guest on NO WE WON’T blogtalkradio with Sheri Tag and Will Bower tonight at 8:00 EST.  That’s like NOW!!!

The Dog Whisperer’s letter to the DNC

DON’T FORGET TO TUNE IN at 8pm this Sunday “No We Won’t PUMA Radio with Sheri Tag,” special guest Lanny Davis & Ricki Lieberman!

Now on with the post…

This is a parody based on the Dog Whisperer, which doesn’t reflect the thoughts or views of Cesar Millán or the National Geographic Channel – that I know of. Please read in Cesar Millian’s charming Spanish accent.

Dear Howard and Donna,

Many thanks for inviting me to rehabilitate the PUMA. I am honored but puzzled to receive your request as I only work within the canine group. However seeing that the PUMA was formed from the broken bones of Ole Yeller, I wanted to take the challenge. If you’ve watched my show, you know that I rehabilitate dogs and train humans.
Let’s review our session together:

Sunday: “too presumptuous”? Nawww, not OUR Barack

The NYTimes is suffering from an upregulation of obviousness brought on by an overdose of Kool-ade. In Going for that Presidential Look but Trying not to Overdo it, The Dauphin of Democracy pronounces:

“In terms of raw politics, in the short-term there’s just as much downside as upside to a trip like this, even when it’s well executed,” Mr. Obama said in an interview as he flew here from Paris on the final leg of his trip. “People at home are worried about gas prices, they’re worried about mortgage foreclosures — and for a week they’re seeing me traipse around the world? It’s easy to paint that as somehow being removed from people’s day-to-day problems.”

What could *possibly* be wrong with taking a tour of the middle east and Europe after a long, grueling semester, er, primary season?  The world got a chance to get just as enamored with him as America has been.  In the meantime, the Republicans have taken the opportunity to gently poke at his campaign, probably to see if it’s tender, and John McCain appeared in a German restaurant while Barack was in Berlin.  Very downhome with a soupçon of the here and now but hardly on anyone’s radar like the throngs of cheering new voters in Berlin.

What could possibly be the downside to all those ecstatic foreigners basking in the glow of his reflected radiance?

In nearly every city on his eight-day trip, Mr. Obama awoke to find a newspaper with his photograph — and often several — on the cover. Yet by the time he reached the end of his travels here on Saturday, a moment of political reality set in with a headline in The Times of London that stated, “Obama’s capital tour loses him ground back home.”

Asked on Saturday about his political fortunes, he said, “I wouldn’t even be surprised if in some polls we saw a little bit of a dip because we’ve been out of the country for a week.”

Ruh-Roh.  Barack is quickly getting out in front of the dip that his pollsters have been detecting in the past eight days.  Oooo, it must be bad.  Maybe it was that endless, tortuous presser he gave in Israel where every sentence started well but meandered from prepositional phrase to prepositional phrase, delicately accented by a plethora of ah’s and um’s that convey a sense of hesitation to the listeners.  The labrynthine sentence structure that seemed to have no beginning, middle or end, let alone a point, left me scratching my head and staunching my bleeding ears.  Oh, sure, it makes his presentation sound shallow and spotty, like he isn’t comfortable with the material or the facts.  But what else can you do “when you can’t dazzle them with brilliance” but “baffle them with bull$%#^”?

Damn!  It’s too bad that Hillary isn’t around to run interference for him and answer the question first so he can answer the question second.  That worked so well in the debates.  But she’s back on Capital Hill, doing that whole work thing.  Work is for LOOOOSERS.  Everyone knows that if you want to get to the top, you gotta learn how to schmooze.  And all working people have had experience with The Schmoozer who rockets to the top by agreeing with everything the powers that be say and taking credit for other people’s work and using friends as connections to be discarded later.  Sure it leaves a trail of resentful and vengeful former friends and colleagues but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Only, this one time, maybe he should have gone easy on the arrogance abroad and spent time closer to home doing something like this:

Do not be concerned, Conflucians.  Obama is planning a series of town hall meetings for ordinary Americans. You know, the type of voter he has been trying to avoid all year?.  Not the joint town halls that John McCain proposed, but undoubtably a series of thoroughly planned and scripted ones where no detail has been left to chance.

Can we have Hillary back now??? (H/T SophieL)