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Bill Burton’s Secret Weapon: A Play in One Scientific Act.

THE SCENE: BILL BURTON, Barack Obama’s campaign manager, is sitting behind a large chrome and glass desk in a well-appointed, modern office. A large, sleek metal box with two buttons rests on top of the desk. One button is red, and reads “Verbiage;” the other is green, and reads “Statistics.”]

There is a computer (the latest Mac, of course) and a printer on the side of the desk. His iPhone is lying on the desk: Bill is [duh!] too hip for a landline. Besides which, he doesn’t want AT&T spying on HIM!

In front of the desk is DAVID AXELROD, Barack Obama’s right-hand man. They are sipping cups of coffee and finishing up croissants. AXELROD also has an iPhone in his hand, from which he will read the action items for the meeting.

BURTON: Ah! The almond croissant was particularly moist today. So, David, what’s on the agenda?

AXELROD: Okay, Bill, we’ve got several things that need our immediate attention. First off, as you know, President Obama’s foreign-policy experience has now been brought up to parity with John McCain’s after his week-long tour of Europe and the Middle East. So we’re all good there. However, we estimated that a million people would attend his speech in Berlin, and even with two free concerts thrown in, we were nowhere near that number. Can we figure out how many people attended?

BURTON: No problemo! [addressing the box on his desk] Computer, how many people attended the Berlin rally?

COMPUTER [in sultry female voice]: Please press the green button. [BURTON does so.] Your answer is: Two hundred thousand.

AXELROD: Great, great. I’ll send it out now. [notates the number in his iPhone and quickly sends it off to his press mailing list] Okay, next item is: The President skipped a visit to the troops while in Berlin because the Pentagon wouldn’t allow him to bring in his cameras. How do we make it clear that President Obama does not, in fact, think of the troops as just a campaign prop?

BURTON [drawing in his breath]: Oooooh, that’s a tough one. Let’s see what our girl can come up with. Computer, what is the reason for Obama’s skipping his visit to the troops?

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your answer is: I.A.C.F.

AXELROD [confused]: IACF?

BURTON [embarrassed at the faux pas]: Um, that stands for “It’s All Clinton’s Fault.” I keep telling her that is no longer an acceptable response, but she keeps defaulting to it – I don’t know why. [addressing computer] Computer, please give alternate reason.

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your alternate reason is: George W. Bush.

AXELROD: George W. Bush? What does she mean by that?

BURTON [nervously]: Search me. [both think for a moment]

AXELROD: Wait, wait! I’ve got it! We’ll say the Pentagon stopped him from going. They were worried that it would look like a campaign visit. Brilliant, Bill! Gotta love that machine. [BURTON is visibly relieved. AXELROD dashes off another communique to the press corpse.] All right all right all right! Now, how about this one? People are raising the issue that President Obama’s senior thesis is nowhere to be found.

BURTON: Heh. Thank goodness.

AXELROD: Yeah. So anyway, since Hillary’s thesis was thoroughly reviewed and dissected in the media, why haven’t we released Barack’s?

BURTON: Wow. That IS a stumper! Computer, why haven’t we released President Obama’s thesis?

COMPUTER: Your question contains a logical fallacy. Please rephrase.

BURTON [rolling his eyes]: Fine, fine. [to AXELROD] She can’t handle it when I say “President Obama.” So literal-minded! [re-addressing computer] Computer, why haven’t we released Senator Obama’s thesis?

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your response is: “The absurdity of spending any time discussing this issue on television at all makes it difficult to even respond to what you’ve done. Even presenting a balanced argument of what is such a specious story does not do justice to the ridiculousness of giving this any oxygen whatsoever.”

[slight pause]

AXELROD: Well, it’s a bit wordy, but I think it’s the right tone. Great job again, Bill! Off it goes to my press contacts. [AXELROD works his iPhone.]

BURTON [looking at his iPhone]: So, David, is that about it? You know I have to bring the President his waffles.

AXELROD: Oh, just one more thing. Can that model do predictions?

BURTON [doubtfully]: Well, we did install a new module last week, but it’s more of a “Magic Eight Ball” than a real analyzer.

AXELROD: Ahhhh, so what? Let’s try her out. We may get something we like.

BURTON: Okey-dokey. What do you want me to ask her?

AXELROD: Ask her to predict the results of the November election. Who will become our next President? [snickering] As if we didn’t know the answer to that.

BURTON [snickering]: Yeah! That’s a good one, Davey. Let’s have a little fun. Computer, who will become our next President?

COMPUTER: Please rotate me three times. [BURTON does so.] Your response is: Hillary Rodham Clinton.

BURTON: What? There must be some kind of malfunction. [starts hitting the side of the box]

COMPUTER: Barack Obama’s campaign will self-destruct in thirty days.

AXELROD: What the hell is that bitch talking about? [crosses to desk and starts hitting the other side of the box]

COMPUTER: Party Unity, My Ass. PUMA. PUMA. PUMA! [COMPUTER explodes with a giant BANG! and a large puff of smoke.]

[After the smoke clears, BURTON and AXELROD have dirty faces, electric-shock hair, and exasperated expressions.]

AXELROD: Fifth one this month.

BURTON: Yup. Maybe we need a stronger anti-PUMA program. The PUMA virus keeps infecting all our bots.

AXELROD: Well, work on it, will ya? This is getting ridiculous. [begins walking out]

BURTON: Hey, Dave?

AXELROD: Yes, Bill?

BURTON: What if PUMA is the anti-virus, not the virus? What if we are the infection, and the Democratic body keeps rejecting us?

[brief pause]

AXELROD [menacingly]: Bill, you want my advice? Stop thinking so hard, or you’ll end up going the way of your computer there.

BURTON [cowed]: Yessir. No problem. I was just –

AXELROD: I know what you were doing. Now, put your happy face on and go get the President his breakfast.

BURTON: Right away, sir. [involuntarily bursting out] PUMA!

AXELROD: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

BURTON [sheepishly]: Sorry, Dave. It’s catching!

[LIGHTS OUT.]

Cross-posted at Oooh, nuance!

104 Responses

  1. Love these plays!

  2. Thank you, Tuscon! 🙂

  3. Actually, on the veteran visit the computer said: tell people the Pentagon forbade you to go. (TPM, Huffpo tried hard to push that version, even the previously reliable Lynn Sweet bought that). But I am sure Clinton was somehow blamed as well – just had to.
    How much I love your plays? Let me count the ways…. I can’t wait for your next one!

  4. We are as infectious as smallpox and as distructive to the host (OMAMA/DNC) as ebola….wonder how long before they self distruct? and our great Hillary is the nominee?

    The funny thing is all the Obama amunition the Repug’s have been ordering will be useless!

    mmmmm-evil thought

    Madamab your play is brilliant and full of hope-PUMA Power!

    fuzzybeargville

  5. Thanks, everyone! I was partially inspired by Bill Burton’s response to the thesis kerfuffle in Gary’s post today. I thought, “automatic outrage generator.”

    This is where my crazy little brain went. 😉

  6. lets say obama gets 60% of the Dem vote and 10% of the Repug vote…and even though the Independents ar lining up behind McCain now by 8 points we will split it 50/50 who is the president?

    oh easy answer Hillary R Clinton

    Fuzzybeargville

  7. great play, madamab! and you’re right, it’s contagious! PUMAs have infected professional baseball….

    that’s our own new hampster!!! woo hoo!!!!

  8. OMG Campskunk! That is AWESOME. PUMAs are everywhere!

    Tee-hee, the Yankees won.

    [runs away]

  9. lol! Love it! Put them altogether and we could have a show at Denver…. dinner theatre anyone?

  10. Getting outraged and angry is a sign of lying. Blaming is a sign of guilt. Not visiting wounded troops who are still too sick to be transfered is a sign of heartlessness.

  11. Great play! And so realistic. Everytime I ask my magic 8 ball who will be the next President it says “Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton 2008”.

    Great Job!

  12. That’s hilarious, madamab! You need to put together a PUMA troupe and have them perform your plays for You Tube. I would bet they get tons of views. 🙂

  13. LOVE IT!!! Absolutely brilliant! The best yet, madamab 😀

  14. ….sigh…….Saturday- I had so many plans and not only is it storming out, I’m sick in bed:( so I was extremely happy to see a new madamab play!! they always make me laugh.

    thank you!

    I keep saying if Obama becomes president there will be a new cabinet position, Secretary of Outrage. they’re so good at it, all the while dismissing the feelings of others as silly or misplaced.

  15. Well Done! That stuff is very tough to do and is way above my pay grade.

    Bill

  16. madamab, what a grrreeeaaaaat play! I still keep visualizing your plays being performed at the unity corral (the area for dissenters) in Denver . Talk about attention getters.

    CognitiveDissonance, that is a such a good idea.

    Will your plays be on Puma radio tomorrow night again?

    Great job! Can’t wait for the next one.

  17. Thanks for the compliments everyone – you have me purrrrrring like a PUMA who just devoured a H.O.U.N.D. for breakfast!

    Marla – I won’t be on PUMA radio tomorrow night, but I can’t wait to hear the show. I feel that the presence of Lanny Davis means that Hillary is opening a direct line of communication to us. We really need to call in and let our voices be heard. No Unity with Obama, No HRC as VP. Hillary or McCain!

  18. Great play madamab !!

    So glad I put off my Saturday errands a few minutes longer..

    You made my day.

  19. Another hysterical piece!

  20. Right leaning video’s used to be something I avoided, but that was before the DNC forced barack down my throat.

  21. Brava, madamab!

    Indeed, PUMA is the antidote to the nobama kool-aid for the Democratic Party.

    Keep up the good work!

  22. Is Obama dying his hair to look more grey?

  23. madamab—I’m amazed. I think by the end of all this you’re going to have an entire book of one act plays ready to publish. I like to think my performance as Bill Burton in the first ever live production of one of your plays served as inspiration as well 😉 Do you know if you’re making it to the conference yet? We need to do a workshop on your plays. Also mawm and I just got our RV for Denver….we bought an old 37 foot coachman…we’re gonna spend the next 3 weeks decorating it 🙂

  24. 200,000 or 20,000?

    “ZDF Berlin studio chief Peter Frey added, “We do estimate that 20,000”

    “Adherents to the metric cult like to rave about how easy it is to multiply by 10. It’s a familiar enough refrain: “We were only following orders [of magnitude].” A blog post by John Rosenthal of World Politics Review casts further light on this theme. Most news reports put the attendance at Obama’s big Berlin rally last night at 200,000. According to Rosenthal, however, “the estimates given by German public television ZDF actually during the event, however, were as many as 10 times lower”–which is to say, one-tenth as high:

    ZDF began its special “Obama in Berlin” coverage [German video] at 6:45 p.m. Central European Time: only 15 minutes before the candidate’s speech was scheduled to start. At the time, ZDF reporter Susanne Gelhard was out and about on the so-called “Fan Mile” between the Victory Column and the Brandenburg Gate. “The expectations were highly varied,” she said in her live report, “from a few thousand up to a million. Those were the estimates. But, now, several tens of thousands have turned out.” Barely five minutes before the speech was supposed to start, ZDF Berlin studio chief Peter Frey added, “We do estimate that 20,000 [literally, “a couple of ten thousand”] people have turned out.”

    http://www.worldpoliticsreview.com/blog/blog.aspx?id=2492

  25. Madamab, you are brilliant!! I loooooove Marla’s idea of performing your plays in Denver!!
    Any actors out there in our group?

  26. Honestly Gary – you were SO good as Bill. Thank you, Mawm and RD for doing such a wonderful job in our first performance as The Confluence Players!

    I don’t know where all these plays are coming from. It’s a strange, but wonderful and unexpected, time in my life. And The Confluence is such an amazing part of it!

    I am leaning very strongly towards going to DC. I have to find out from my friend who lives there if I can stay with him.

    Woo-hoo! Your RV will be the best, PUMA-est creation EVAH!

  27. wow Gary!!!!! I’d spend the three weeks learning to drive the thing 🙂

    that’s really pretty cool. I know a woman who’s retired and her home is an RV. she travels constantly and loves it.

    is it the kind that attaches to a car?

  28. Madamab.

    This is one of your best! I loved it. And I thought your treatment of the was a very nice allusion to 2001: A Space Odyssey. Is that what you intended?

  29. Gary,

    How exciting that you and Mawm bought and RV! I hate to think of the cost of gas to drive to Denver though.

  30. BB, I was wondering how the cost of gas compares to the cost of flights and hotels. I dunno……

  31. have you guys seen this Perry Logan’s site? I’ve never heard of him, but he’s pretty funny and makes some great PUMA points.

  32. bb I know…that’s going to be rough…..it’s not an attach to car type, its the whole thing….

  33. I think it gets about 8 miles/gallon 😦

  34. all you green people please forgive me….I’ll try to erase my denver carbon footprint in other ways….open to suggestions!!!

  35. Gary,

    I drive everywhere. I refuse to fly anymore. I will probably be driving out to Indiana at the end of August in a rental car. That’s the way I usually travel.

  36. bboomer–flying freaks me out too. I have to take a valium or something. I have to fly to the puma conference because I can’t get off work fri, and mawm is leaving thurs. I have to fly from raleigh to atlanta and then to DC. how messed up is t hat? it was cheap though….(cheaper than driving, actually)

  37. Anyway, I’m sure you guys will have lots of fun. It reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Lost In America. Albert Brooks wrote, directed, and starred. A young couple liquidate all their assets and take off to explore the USA. They see themselves as rebels against society’s strictures. There is a great scene where they are driving along in their huge RV with Steppenwolf playing “Born to be Wild” in the background. A guy on a harley drives up beside them and they wave happily. The guy gives them the finger and takes off.

  38. Gary,

    It’s not the flying per se that freaks me out. It’s the long waits aboard planes, missed connections, and most of all the security measures. I just refuse to knuckle under to it.

  39. Gary, you can tow a Prius for local driving. if that’s cost prohibitive, you might take a couple of bicycles. or Vespas would be neat!

    Masslib, I never heard of Perry Logan either but he’s interesting and funny. he links here at the bottom of his page….. perrylogan.org

  40. BB – I did mean to allude to 2001: A Space Odyssey. Good catch! 🙂

    I also just saw Wall-E. What a fabulous film! I think that was in my mind too – machines that were more aware of their environment than humans…

  41. what I meant is Perry Logan links to the Confluence

  42. LetFreedomRing: I notice the article in the World Politics Review uses the AP as the standard source, quoting, “Obama Addresses 200,000 in Berlin.” That would have been our first clue that this was PR acrobatics. The AP has lied, manipulated, twisted, and withheld information all year to aid Obama. I blame AP the most for our season of disinformation, and I’ll never forgive them.

  43. parentofed – AP = Pravda

    Just makes me more certain than ever that Obama and Rove are in cahoots. No Democratic candidate ever gets such positive media. It just does not happen.

  44. Gary & Mawm:

    You won’t be feeling lonely in those cages. Denver police are preparing for a huge turnout of protesters. They’re denying that crap cannons will be used. Best pack some Depends just in case, though 😀

    http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/07/26/police-prepare-for-thousands-of-protesters-at-denver-convention/

  45. britgirls – Did you know the Mythbusters guys actually tested the “crap cannon” theory?

    Thank goodness, it was BUSTED. 🙂

  46. I want my carbon footprint to be HUGE in Denver. They want this to be the greenest convention. I’d love to have a convoy of trucks,RVs, and yes buses driving around and around and creating enough exhaust to create a small cloud above the convention center.

  47. Madamab, this play is my favorite one!

    I don’t have an 8-ball, but with my ancient Tarot deck, I too always get the HRC card in the “Final Result in the White House” position, every single time I lay a “Next USA President?” spread. It seems that getting a new Magic Eight Ball module for my laptop would be just as reliable and save time on readings. B^\

  48. Karolina NYC – LOL!

    Mawm – You kill me! You should also buy 400 buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken and strew those nasty pieces of fried meat all over the ground! Eeeeek, unHEALTHY!

  49. Good stuff madamab. As always.

    A bit OT (nah, couldn’t be OT here), I got this e-mail forwarded to me this a.m. Anybody else get it?

    “Hello everyone,

    As you know I am not a very political person. I just wanted to pass along that Senator Obama came to Bagram Afghanistan for about an hour on his visit to ‘The War Zone’. I wanted to share with you what happened. He got off the plane and got into a bullet proof vehicle, got to the area to meet with the Major General (2 Star) who is the commander here at Bagram.

    As the Soldiers where lined up to shake his hand he blew them off and didn’t say a word as he went into the conference room to meet the General. As he finished, the vehicles took him to the ClamShell (pretty much a big top tent that military personnel can play basketball or work out in with weights) so he could take his publicity pictures playing basketball. He again shunned the opportunity to talk to Soldiers to thank them for their service.

    So really he was just here to make a showing for the American’s back home that he is their candidate for President. I think that if you are going to make an effort to come all the way over here you would thank those that are providing the freedom that they are providing for you.

    I swear we got more thanks from the NBA Basketball Players or the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders than from one of the Senators, who wants to be the President of the United States . I just don’t understand how anyone would want him to be our Commander-and-Chief. It was almost that he was scared to be around those that provide the freedom for him and our great country.

    If this is blunt and to the point I am sorry but I wanted you all to know what kind of caliber of person he really is. What you see in the news is all fake.

    In service,
    CPT Jeffrey S. Porter
    Battle Captain
    TF Wasatch
    American Soldier “

  50. What is the latest on Hillary making the ballot in Denver?

  51. KarenKaren – I think she’s on the ballot. It’s whether or not she will be placed in nomination that is the sticking point.

    That’s what we’re working on – hopefully Hillary will be listening tomorrow night on PUMA radio!

  52. lol Mawm!

    take a deep fryer and fry everything!!!

    actually, you could probably set up a stand and pay for the trip. I imagine some delegates will be craving less healthy food in unapproved colors

  53. At NoQuarter, Reverend Amy has posted a letter from Planned Parenthood. Although they did not endorse Hillary during the primary, they are now proudly endorsing guess who, yes, Obama. The letter states this is only the 2nd time in its history PP has endorsed a presidential candidate.

    Did I just fall asleep at the keyboard? This cannot be real life.

  54. Hah! Have to see that Mythbusters show. Too funny.

    Mawm, remember to tailgate in the parking lot with a big ol’ obnoxious BBQ billowing smoke, too.

    I would love to go to Denver. I so wish I could, but I have three kids under 4. I just can’t go. I feel guilty that I haven’t participated more this primary season. Thank God we even have a primary here in PA. If it had been a caucus there’s no way I could’ve attended. As it was, I had my husband stop at the polling booth so that I could vote on the very day I was released from the hospital after having my beautiful baby girl.

    It’s just sad to think that so many people were unable to vote because of not being able to make it to caucuses.

    Anyway, I plan on doing my part when Dean rolls through PA. I’ll bring my kids and train them to do a PUMA rrrrrroaaaarr throughout his speech. They’ll LOVE it!

  55. LetFreedomRing…. look at that photo!!!… it looks like about 30 people across. If it is about 30 people deep for each tree and there are about 20 trees…. 30*30*20= 18,000. Someone with a better photo can come up with a more accurate number, but there are NOT 200,000 people in that photo. Obama is completely staged and there is no way they wouldn’t send out the photo that they felt made the most impact. That’s it?

  56. brit,congratulations on your new baby girl! 🙂

  57. mawm, spreading Ky Fried Chicken around is two-fold treachery. It’s unhealthy, and it’s KENTUCKY, now a dirty word to all right-thinking Democrats. I love living here in beautiful Kentucky {i sure don’t like a lot of stuff like mountaintop removal, etc}, and I would be happy to donate a Kentucky shirt or a UK shirt for your flagrant display of spite.

  58. 20,000 or 200,000 they still aren’t voters in this country.

  59. The so-called womens groups and female Democratic Governors were easily the biggest disappointment in this election. If I recall only Emily’s List endorsed Hillary. Who was the first presidential candidate those fools endorsed? George Bush.

  60. Thanks, kiki.

  61. Karen,

    I think I agree. I read somewhere today the Berlin police also felt it was a smaller crowd than the Obama campaign maintains.

  62. All the women endorsing Obama must have gotten some quid pro quo. That goes for PP too. They are all trying to convince us bitter old women that Obama REALLY REALLY is a progressive candidate who cares about womens’ issues. REALLY REALLY.

    I call bullsh*t on this transparent tactic.

  63. Obama’s troop withdrawl policy….when you put it all togeather, it is no policy at all.

  64. madamab: after all that’s happened, do we appear to be women easily misled by a mere Planned Parenthood endorsement? To me, this is just another insult, a show of how little they respect us.

  65. parentofed – I agree that it’s an insult. But to them, I’m sure they consider it a masterstroke.

    They do not take us seriously at all. But then, since they come from such a misogynistic, hateful place, I’m not surprised by their lack of respect for our values and principles.

  66. madamab: I think this is my favorite one, so far! President Obama = logical fallacy!!! BTW, I took my son to see Wall-E last week and we really enjoyed it.

  67. Masslib’s link to “Obama the Soufflé” has some interesting references to the behavior of the Germans who were there, plus a paragraph about the PUMAs who were there—

    “Even though Hillary Clinton emerged from the primaries with 18 million votes, more than any previous candidate, and even though she won in all the states which will be crucial for defeating John McCain, and enjoyed landslide victories in the final primaries, nevertheless the media created the impression that Obama was ahead. The sole intent was to artificially build up Obama, in order to sabotage Hillary’s campaign–and not, by a long shot, to make Obama into the next President.

    Because what the misled teenagers on the Fan Mile along the way to the Victory Column apparently weren’t aware of, is that many early Obama supporters in the United States now feel that they have been tricked:

    Obama’s machine has replaced African-American regional party leaders with Establishment apparatchiks. Instead, a whole slew of new organizations have been springing up like mushrooms, demanding an open party convention, and the nomination of Hillary Clinton in an open roll call vote.

    In Berlin, supporters of one of these organizations, PUMA (Party Unity My Ass), were distributing leaflets calling for such an open party convention. Obama’s security team confiscated the leaflets, not only from the PUMA organizers themselves, but also from any spectator who passed through the security gate, leaflet in hand. So much for Obama’s oft-cited “change.”

    In his Berlin speech, Obama’s election strategists were counting on the so-called “let go of the dog’s tail” effect. The dog is, of course, happy when someone who has been dragging it around by the tail, inflicting great pain, finally lets go. It doesn’t take much to understand that the people of the entire world will be glad when Bush and Cheney finally disappear from the White House premises. But as we have already pointed out, the new Obama package has the same old stuff inside.

    Up to now, nowhere–not in the United States, Berlin, or anywhere else–has Obama said anything about the dramatically climaxing meltdown of the financial system, nor anything about the insolvency of the giant mortgage finance companies Freddie Mac and Fanny Mae, whose death-throes are only being drawn out by the Fed’s unlimited injections of liquidity. Obama, whose lack of knowledge about the complex strategic situation cannot be remedied by some week-long crash course, is not expected to offer any answer to the systemic crisis as it unfolds over the coming weeks. And if Obama’s campaign strategists refuse to permit an open party convention, then it certainly will not be because they are so sure that Obama will win the Presidency. And even if he does get nominated, this will have absolutely no effect on the escalating systemic crisis.

    Events over the coming weeks and months will prove that this image of a new Kennedy or King, is nothing but deceptive packaging–or a soufflé, which will collapse on its first exposure to the rough outside world. We can only hope that the German fans will start being able to learn, and that their “virtually religious adoration of an putative savior,” as Spiegel-Online put it, will be supplanted by better political insight.”

  68. Thank you, jules! 🙂

    Karolina NYC – Thanks for that quote. Very, very interesting indeed.

  69. Ha, ha, ha! I really enjoyed this play! Such deep truths eventually emerge from that computer! Thanx, madamab!

  70. I know I am preaching to the choir, but when I listened to the tape of the Obama Berlin speech, I tried to be ojective. But, honestly, the whole thing was just a pathetic cliche of strung-together platitudes and airy phrases. I was embarrassed for our country. I don’t know how long it will take, but someday the Europeans will be laughing at America for this.

  71. Madamab,

    Think we can set these to music? If so, move over Sondheim and Cole Porter. As always, I’m in full chortle. Thank you.

  72. parentofed, “But, honestly, the whole thing was just a pathetic cliche of strung-together platitudes and airy phrases.”

    I agree. When I heard it I said it was like he was pulling random phrases out of a bag.

    If we both thought this it must have been a pretty common reaction.

  73. parentofed: I withdrew my support from Planned Parenthood and had myself removed from their email list and action plans weeks ago, when they were at first silent in the face of Obama’s suggestion that “mental distress” was not an adequate reason for having an abortion, then when PP turned around and said the statement was “perfectly consistent with Roe vs. Wade.” Obama has strong impulses toward the forced-birth mindset; I didn’t know PP was so willing to accommodate them. Another organization, along with the DNC, I am done with, and who clearly doesn’t need my money.

  74. If she is placed in nomination, does anyone know how many delegates she has, exact count?

    How many need to switch to her for her to win the nomination?

  75. KK, I believe the number in 175.

  76. I would never be swayed to vote for an inadequate candidate in order to maybe have a better chance of getting a liberal Supreme Court Judge, BUT, that said, it is SO NOT ANYBODY’S BUSINESS WHAT IS A WOMAN”S PERSONAL REASON FOR GETTING AN ABORTION. God. Planned Parenthood is part of the f*cking corporate world now, I guess, and passively camping for an Obama CHANGE to a fasict, totalitarian form of government.

  77. Prolix – Anything is possible. I’ve only been writing plays for about two months, so I’m not ruling anything out!

    KB and parentofed: I always feel that way about Obama – there is no logic or flow to his statements. Plus, why did he start with a long, boring lecture on the history of Berlin? I thought that was condescending.

  78. I was with my parents today driving them around and I had on talk radio. Don’t really know which one it was since they are all as interchangeable as Kleenex, but one said,

    “Obama’s speech was beautiful if you want to hope for a future based upon a past that didn’t happen.”

    I’m checking my electrolytes right now, but that rang with some clarity.

  79. i hate that friggin weasel.

  80. Madamab, given your fertile creativity, what were you doing three months ago, updating the Sistine Chapel?

  81. The number of Superdelegates Hillary needs is unknown. There have been many pledged Hillary delegates who have stated they will vote for Obama.*

    * This comes from friends who have talked to some of these delegates.

  82. Obama must think Europeans are stupid, too, if he thinks he looks like the kind of American they’ve never seen before. Apparently he thinks they don’t know either history or politics (Martin Luther King, Jr.). have never watched sports (Jordan, Woods, Mays, etc. etc. etc.), don’t listen to music, attend concerts or see music videos (Michael Jackson, Alicia Keyes, etc. etc.), are unfamiliar with Hollywood (Will Smith. Halle Berry, etc. etc.), don’t read Nobel Laureates as well as other authors (Toni Morrison, etc. etc.) etc. etc. etc.

    This man’s arrogance and myopia never cease to amaze me. How can you run a country, and represent a nation, when you regard yourself as so original and so unique? What am I to make of a candidate who steps onto the world stage, and then misreprents himself, his nation, and those to whom he is speaking in one fell swoop?

    Or perhaps he believes Berliners have never seen a dime-a-dozen Chicago politician before?

    That I will allow.

  83. Obama has had the audacity to give into the right on the freedom to control one’s own body. He has stated that he is for restricting third trimestre abortions, and has said that “feeling blue” should not be considered a good reason to have one, thereby not only weakening the progressive stance on this issue, but also setting back mental health parity.
    I was waiting for NARAL to withdraw their endorsement. Then Planned Parenthood goes ahead and endorses Obama? People who feel strongly about the freedom to control one’s own body have fewer and fewer allies lately.

  84. Mawm:

    175 delegates is a lot to switch. I’m not feeling very hopeful about this.

  85. “represents”

  86. Prolix – Literal, long, LOL! 🙂

    Actually, I stay away from painting ceilings. Short arms, you know. 😉

  87. KarenKaren, if you are looking for Hope, you may want to check out Obama campaign. I think they got a trademark on the word.

  88. I have heard reports of 10 delegates switching back to Hillary. Perhaps there are many more hidden allies.

  89. O.T.
    Politicians on both sides of the isle seem to have gone “down the rabit hole”.

    Cover-up?

    http://firedoglake.com/2008/07/26/porter-goss-congressional-ethics-inside-nancy-pelosis-bizarro-world/

  90. Mawn,

    No need for snark. Are the names of those 10 delegates known so we can email them?

  91. Madamab, great play as usual.
    It’s hard to be as effusive as your play deserves, however, because today I have a bad case of the Obama Drama Blues.
    In the beginning, he was annoying.
    At times, he’s been rather amusing.
    Nowadays, he’s downright scary.
    I’m completely serious.

  92. Just found out an old friend of mine is on crack.

  93. sorry Karen, I didn’t mean snark at you, just Obama.

  94. josgirl – Word, sistah!

    Comparisons to Hitler are floating around in my brain.

    Here’s a little song for ya:

    Lord, I’ve got the blues
    I don’t know what to do
    Since Obama came into my world
    I thought it all was fine
    No worries in my mind
    I knew Hillary was our girl

    Then all our Party Leaders
    Showed that they were so eager
    To jump on Obama Drama’s train,
    Then the voting went wacky
    Like Colombian tobaccky
    And we all started feeling the pain

    We’ve got the blues
    Barack Obama blues

    The guy’s just bad news
    We’ve got the Obama blues

  95. Mawn, it’s ok. Nerves are frazzled. I’m just trying to find out what’s going on. There don’t seem to be any hard numbers, just enthusiasm. Talk about “hope” LOL.

    Someone must be talking to delegates and have more information than I’ve been able to find so far.

  96. Thrououghly enjoyed the play! Thanks so much.

  97. Maum, a government that feels entitled to control people in their bedrooms is a government that feels entitled to controlling everything less personal in their lives as well. The USA has been slowly but consistently prepped for this kind of control for 20-30 years now—ever since Reagan started taking the regulations off of industries, and propaganda like the song “Welfare Cadillac” (is that the title?) were getting people to feel entitled to pay no taxes for infrastructure. If the Obama’s and Bush’s abortion plans get through, it will be poor women who will suller more that anyone else. I can’t even think of it. It is like seeing all of the future women and any men that love them and their huge famalies of children in WWII concentration camps. It breaks my heart.

  98. MadamaB: ANOTHER BRILLIANT PLAYLET!

    The computer reminded me of the female version of HAL 2000, “Hello Dave” – PUMA VIRUS, awesome!

  99. Mawm, what I just wrote was in reference and agreement to :

    “Obama has had the audacity to give into the right on the freedom to control one’s own body. He has stated that he is for restricting third trimestre abortions, and has said that “feeling blue” should not be considered a good reason to have one, thereby not only weakening the progressive stance on this issue, but also setting back mental health parity.”

  100. Madamab, thanks for the song.
    Put me in the mind of Steely Dan.
    “The Cuervo Gold, the fine Columbian…”
    Hey Nineteen, I got Deacon Blues!
    Let’s go back…
    …to better days.
    Even though my favorite blues song is Muddy Waters’ “Mannish Boy,” will you sing “God Bless the Child” next for me?

  101. madamab: Wow, you are awesome. Sorry about the late post but I just got int.

  102. fabulous play!!!!!

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